


Seduced by the Darkness within

by ValentineHeart14



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Blood, Bondage, Choking, Darkside - Freeform, Death, Dirty Talk, Diverge from the plot line, Dom/sub, Drama, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff, Force Choking, Happy Ending, Humor, Im a sap for romance, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Roleplay, Romance, Rough Sex, Smut, Verbal Abuse, bensolo - Freeform, kyloren - Freeform, mature - Freeform, maybe a sequel, possible heartbreak, slowburn romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 101,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValentineHeart14/pseuds/ValentineHeart14
Summary: A story about a force wielder that takes place long before the events of the trilogy begins. She makes a deal that spares the life of her parents, and her people. As Marinette soon becomes the Second in Command, and the apprentice of the Great Kylo Ren and learn the ways of The Dark Side, she finds herself falling for the ex-Jedi.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	1. No, I'm just not stupid

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know Star Wars!

_A tall man shrouded in darkness stood not too far from me, his leather covered hand outstretched. Waiting for me to take it. Clenching my jaw, I stared at his offered hand before looking back up towards him. He wore a black mask, with silver detailings. Something about this_ **_creature_ ** _, this_ **_man_ ** _, called out to me. Something inside me had begun to form and it scared me, because this wasn’t the first time I had seen him. I’ve been able to see him and to hear him in my head for as long as I could remember._

_“What do you want from me?”_

_“Join me,” A beat of silence “take my hand”_

_“Why should I?”_

_“We have a bond, a force bond”_

_“What is a force bond? Who are you?”_

_“Take my hand and I’ll tell you everything you want to know”_

_Placing a hand over my heart, I heard the soft whispers in my head. They were trying to coax me into joining him, to taking his hand. Biting my lip, a part of me said yes. The other said to run and hide from the creature in a mask, his deep baritone voice stroking something inside me._

“Breakfast is ready!”

Snapping up from my bed, my breathing was heavy as I looked around to find myself in my bedroom. Running a hand through my hair, I slipped out of bed and into my bathroom. Holding onto the edge of the sink, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Dark circles under my eyes, my lips chapped and cracked. I looked so... **_broken._ **

“Don’t forget that you’ll be working with me in the medical building today!”

_It was just a dream._

_Nothing more. Nothing less._

Showering and I changed into tight white pants along with a loose silver silk top and a white over coat with dark grey boots. Tucking my lightsaber into the coat as I wouldn’t be needing it much today but I felt better with it on my person. It had become a security thing. Something to feel grounded. Especially since I felt so lost being so different from my family. 

* * *

"You've become an amazing warrior, my dear, I'm proud to call you my daughter," bowing my head I felt sweat drip down my forehead as I panted. We had been sparring for the past couple of hours, as I had defeated my father once again.

"Thank you, Dad."

From a very young age my father trained me with my rare ability of using the force, he had taught me how to control it, to supress my powers from being found out. Everyday for several hours we would train my abilities, and my skills as a warrior. I'm only twenty-three years old and I have never left the town I was born in. My father always believed that I was to become a great warrior and often told me of the stories of his fight against The Republic when I was a young girl. Growing up I knew that I had to choose a side one day, to be a rebel or be a part of The First Order. I was always conflicted regarding where my loyalties truly lie. But that was to be decided another day.

Leaning against the trunk of the tree, I stared up at the stars, I wondered what it would be like to travel the galaxy to see other worlds and other people. Every day it was always the same places with the same faces, and it always made me feel like an outsider because I wanted more than a simple mundane life. I picked at the grass as I closed my eyes enjoying the cool wind blowing against my face.This was **_my safe place_ **. The place I came to whenever I needed a break. A break from pretending that I was normal, a break from having to hide my abilities. It was surreal how my parents were normal and yet had a child who was gifted with the force. From a young age, I always questioned why me? I was nothing special. My parents were the special ones. 

When I was a young girl, Dad often told me stories of how he had left the dark side to be with Mom and live out the rest of his years in happiness. He had been a high ranking officer and had met my mother from one of the villages he was supposed to raid for Republic supporters. He had spared her life, and for months they met in secret and eventually he had escaped. They had made plans and they both ran away from the war, from The Republic and The Order. Together they built the town, to help those who were also running from the war. To give those who didn’t want to be involved in the war a small sanctuary. 

The sounds of ships coming out of light speed were loud as I snapped my eyes open to see several First Order ships as they flew towards my town. **_My home._ **They had never come here before, this planet had been untouched and looked over by both sides of the war. Our planet was a peaceful one. So why were they here? 

**_A sharp tug._ **

A ship that looked different from all the rest was the last to arrive. Something was pulling me towards that ship. My stomach twisted into tight knots. A ripple in the force hit me as I felt all the air rush from my lungs as I choked, the lack of air in my lungs bringing a feeling of wanton fear and... **_excitement._ ** Something clicked inside me as I found myself breaking out into a run towards my home, as I felt something in me **_awaken._ ** Silently praying that my people's blood wouldn't stain the ground of the town my father built over two decades ago. 

Breathing deeply, I ran to the center of our town towards the screams and cries of men, women, and children. Stormtroopers were forcing my people from their homes, forcing them to kneel onto the cobblestone ground. It didn’t take me long to find my parents as they were separated from the other citizens, they were forced to kneel. Two stormtroopers had their blasters to the back of their heads, neither of them were scared. They had their heads held up high, wearing looks of unwavering confidence. 

I was about to step out of my hiding spot, before the command shuttle had finally landed. Steam hissed as the ramp came down, a stormtrooper dressed in a chrome suit with a black cape stepped out first. They held a blaster as they stepped to the side, two more stormtroopers followed. 

_That was when I felt it again._

**Another sharp tug.**

A tall man dressed in black robes wore a black mask with silver detailings, his boots making heavy steps as it echoed throughout the town square. He had an atmosphere of darkness and mystery around him. He seemed so familiar. He walked towards my parents with stormtroopers trailing behind him, blasters at the ready. I hid behind a small building as I watched knowing that my father's training and his advice was to always "observe first before acting."

"It's been a long time since you left us," a deep mechanic voice sounded from the man in black known as one of the most dangerous men in the galaxy "We finally managed to track you down, your betrayal has cost us grievances in the past and you will pay for them with your life," he spoke as he stood before my parents, in a swift movement he activated his lightsaber as it hummed to life.

"I don't regret the decisions I made," my father held his chin up high as he stared at Kylo Ren, who stood still and quiet.

"Very well then," he brought the lightsaber over his head, moving quickly from the small building I watched as all the stormtroopers had snapped their attention to me as the creature had his back to me.

"STOP!" Walking closer to them I watched as my father was silently telling me to run, I ignored his silent pleas as I kept my gaze steady on the dark hooded man. Taking a deep breath, I tried calming my racing heart as I stood a couple feet from him. "Step away from my parents,” I paused “you creature” 

"She's your daughter," The Commander stated as he slowly turned to me, anger and defiance was radiating off of me and I knew that he could feel it since he was force sensitive.

"Yes, I'm his daughter," I crossed my arms underneath my chest as I watched him walk closer to me, he stopped a foot away from me. "Now I wish for you to get on your ship and to never come back here" I hissed 

"Why should I listen to a foolish little girl like you?" I could feel irritation and curiosity radiate off of him as he stared down at me. I could hear his arrogant tone, as he began to circle me slowly as I could feel him eye me but I merely kept up the defiant posture. “You’re nothing but just an insolent child”

_This arrogant prick was looking down at me like I was some child. Like I was nothing compared to him. He was a complete asshole._

"Why don't we make a trade then?" Huffing I ignored the fact he continued eyeing me slowly as he tried reading me intently. "Spare my people and take me instead." He stopped right in front of me, I knew he was thinking under that large mask of his.

"What value could you have that would benefit me in any way, you're but a little girl?" 

_Anything is to be endured if it meant that my parents would be alive, and my people spared from the horrors of the war and away from the First Order and the Republic. I knew what I was about to give up. My parents knew it too. I was giving up my choice. The only choice that would ever matter in my life. The only other thing that meant a lot to me._

**_My freedom._ **

Clenching my jaw, I tightened my fists at my sides, my nails digging into my palms. Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand up, and in a split second watched as the two stormtroopers who had blasters to my parent's head raised up in the air. Another tug pulled at me, as whispers filled my head. Clenching my hand, I watched in morbid fascination as they dropped their blasters to the ground. Their hands immediately flew to their necks, as the force wrapped around their throats and cut off their oxygen. Their desperate gasps for air unconsciously brought a smile to my face, clutching my fist even harder, I heard their struggling cease as I dropped their limp corpses to the ground. I could hear soft barely auditable whispers, ignoring it I focused my gaze on Commander Ren. 

He stared at me for several tense moments as he gave me his undivided attention “Deal," He snapped his fingers and all the stormtroopers had begun to board their respective ships again. Running towards my parents, who were quick to stand as they ran towards me as they knew I had just made my decision of which side I would join.

"Why didn't you run?" My father asked as he hugged me tightly before pulling away and stared at me with a leveled look.

"They're my people too, it's my duty to protect them even if it means giving up my freedom," I explained as I hugged both my parents, knowing that this was probably the last time I would ever see them again, "I love you so much."

"We love you too," my mother choked out as she stared at me with tears streaming down her face. "Don't ever forget that you’re my little girl," she added as she covered her mouth with her right hand. As she tried stopping her choked sobs. 

"I am proud to call you my daughter, always remember that," my dad whispered back to me, as my mother was too hysterical with her cries to say anything more, "I love you so much, we will always be proud of you” he murmured 

Before anything else was said I had been yanked out of the arms of my loving parents and into the Commander’s as he had used the force to bring me into his chest. I glanced at him, before turning back to look at my parents one more time. My mom had collapsed onto the ground on her knees as my dad had crouched down next to her. They stared at me with tears, my vision immediately went black as I felt my body crumple to the ground.

* * *

_“What do you want with me?!” I shouted my voice into the darkness, knowing I wasn’t ever going to get an answer. This was a fruitless endeavor. “Just tell me already!” That didn't mean I wouldn’t still try_

_“Take my hand,” The deep baritone voice spoke softly “It’s that simple,”_

_“Why me?”_

_It whispered in my ear “Just take my hand,” a hand wrapped around my arm, forcing me to turn and find myself staring into a large mirror “take my hand and everything will be explained.”_

_With great hesitation I walked towards the mirror, placing my hand on the cool surface of the glass. I was met with me but it wasn’t me. No. This was a_ **_darker_ ** _version of me. A version, I hadn’t ever seen before and yet she felt so familiar._

_She smiled._

_I wasn’t smiling._

_She placed her hand on the glass, it rippled as if it were water rather than glass. Smirking she wrapped her hand around my wrist, holding onto the silver frame of the mirror, she dug her nails into my wrist. A rush of panic and fear pulsed inside me as I let out a loud whimper. She yanked me inside the mirror in one quick movement only for me to hit the glass. Falling, I quickly scooted away from the mirror as her screams of outrage were silent._

Sitting up abruptly, I panted as I whipped my head around and looked around the small room. I tried sitting up in bed only to be stopped as something dug into my wrists. I was chained to the railing of the bed. Focusing on the handcuffs, I used the force to break them as they fell to the floor with a loud 'clunk.' Looking down at my wrist, I stared at the small crescent shaped indented in my wrist from where she had grabbed me. Small droplets fell onto the floor. 

_Kriff. It’s just a dream._

Standing I took notice that I was in a small room with only a bed, pacing I thought back to everything that happened before I blacked out. I wasn't alone for long before the doors opened, snapping my head to the doors I found myself staring at Commander. The doors closed behind him as I now stood face to face- well... mask to the Commander of The First Order.

He looked down at the handcuffs on the ground,“I told Captain Phasma that handcuffing you wasn't necessary” He looked back at me "How have you been able to hide the fact that you're force sensitive?" He asked in his mechanic voice

"My father showed me how to hide my awakening from alerting both you and the Resistance. My Father wanted me to live the life I wanted, not a life the Republic or your Supreme Leader would force me to have," I averted my gaze away from him as I hid my worst behind my back

"Why aren't you resisting?" Biting my bottom lip, I wrapped my arms around myself as I turned to look up at him, I felt so vulnerable as he stared intently at me from behind that mask.

"I belong to you now, and there's no point in trying to run from you," it came out as a soft whisper, "I made a deal and I never go back on them." He continued staring at me in silence as I could feel the thick tension between the two of us.

“You’re compliant” 

_No, I’m just not stupid._

“You could say that” I knew he was watching me from behind that mask of his. The mask that people feared seeing. That people prayed to never see. 

_A creature in a mask._

Twenty minutes of tense and agonizing silence, he watched me thoughtfully as I could feel his curiosity as if it were my own. A deep breath had captured my attention as he took a step forward, "Will you join the dark side with me?" He offered me his right hand, but all I could hear was the whispers again. Coaxing next to taking his hand, it felt so familiar, so warm...so **_safe._ **

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this was the way I would be choosing a side, never did I think I'd be handing my life to the great Commander Ren. I always knew that I would have to choose, and deep down I knew I would always have followed my father's footsteps into the dark side, to The First Order.

"Yes," turning to him, I placed my left hand in his leather one, he squeezed it as he took a step closer to me. Electric shocks zapped up my arm, causing the hair on my arm to stand on edge. _What the fuck is he doing to me? Is this some force trick?_ Holding my head up, I stared back at him as I could feel that he was relieved with my choice, "What am I to do?"

"You will be my second in command as you'll become my apprentice, meaning wherever I go you are to stay at my side at all times," he stated as he squeezed my smaller hand before he dropped it, moving towards the doors again. “We'll be at the base soon, where you will become my apprentice," I followed him out the door and to the cockpit.

We landed on a cold and snowy planet, in a large hangar where we had stepped off the ship. Everything was black, white and red. The colors of The First Order. We were greeted by a tall man with ginger hair, pale skin and a scowl on his face as his hands were crossed behind his back. A few stormtroopers stood behind him with their blasters in hand, he didn't seem to notice me as I stood behind Commander Ren. I could feel the ginger’s anger in waves. It was directed at Commander Ren as he glared at him with distaste as his mind was clustered with thoughts of rage.

"You're over two days late! The Supreme Leader isn't happy about it and wishes to see you at once," he snapped at Commander Kylo Ren

"General," He spoke coolly as he brushed past him harshly, I quickly followed him ignoring the questioning looks I received from the General.

I followed behind him through several corridors in silence, passing several stormtroopers and high ranking officers as we walked. After several tense moments of his thundering footsteps we entered a large room with a long walkway. Stepping onto a large platform where a projection of a tall man, or more like an alien looking _thing_ sat on a throne as he stared down at us.

"Is this the girl you spoke of?" His eyes bore into me as he directed his questioning to Commander Ren who merely stared up at him.

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

"So you're force sensitive?" Whimpering I felt him poke at my mind as I had remembered what Kylo had told me about Supreme Leader Snoke before we had landed in the hangar "You are very strong with the force and I can see that you are still in need of training as you still have a lot to learn about the force," he spoke, as he continued rummaging through my mind. Holding my head, I bit the inside of my cheek as I hunched over in pain, not used to somebody invading my mind.

"I will train her,"

"Very well then, as requested she will be your second in command. You will show her the ways of the dark side and she will be under your care and your responsibility even after she pledges her loyalty to The First Order," Snoke spoke as he eyed me with a smirk that brought chills down my spine. 

He has some sort of hidden agenda, and I’m not sure I like it.

"Yes, Supreme leader."

"Do not disappoint me, Marinette," the projection disappeared altogether, leaving Kylo and I in silence and darkness as a beam of light shone down on us.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, Commander Ren," I spoke as I massaged my forehead, not bothering to look at him. That was the first time somebody had ever invaded my mind, much less looked into my memories and thoughts.

"Follow me."

We left the dark room as I once again followed him down several corridors. I took notice that stormtroopers walked closer to the walls when they passed by Commander Ren. Fear filled the air as I almost gagged as I felt it suffocate me, but luckily for me I was able to breathe again when he turned right and walked into a room that looked to be his bedroom, he turned to me and stood there silent. Walking past me, he stopped in front of the metal doors before he turned his head slightly in my direction.

"You will stay here until I return, do you understand?"

"I understand." With that he left me in the silence of his room.

Walking over to the small window, I knew that he would be gone for a while. Moving over to the chair, I sat down and laid my head against it feeling the last two days of events hit me. Closing my eyes, I gave into my exhaustion as I struggled to keep my eyes open even longer.

* * *

Blinking my eyes open I sat up from my sleeping position. Yawning, I looked around and found myself sleeping in a bed that consisted of white sheets and a white comforter. Getting up from the bed, I noticed I was still wearing the same clothes as before. In my peripheral vision, I saw a datapad on the nightstand. It was blinking, which meant I had a message for me. 

_Be ready by 9, I will be waiting for you outside your room. This is to be your room, it's stocked with everything that you need. Bring this as you will be using this for your new job._

_Commander Kylo Ren_

I walked over to what I assumed to be my bathroom, and decided a shower was in order. Considering I hadn’t bathed in the last two days since my deal I made with Commander Ren. Stripping out of my clothes, I stepped into the hot shower and felt all the tension leave my body as I stood underneath the hot water as steam filled the bathroom.

* * *


	2. A New Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars!

Dressed in a black towel, I went to the closet noticing that all the clothes in there consisted of blacks, greys, and whites.  _ Of course, I would have to dress in their colors. _ I chose black, tight high-waisted pants with a white, silk blouse tucked into them, before putting a black, leather corset top over it. Humming a random tune, I chose a high-low, black coat with silver detailings on the edges. The front of the coat ended right at my waist, sitting at my vanity, I zipped up the leather, black heeled boots. Now that I had joined the dark side, and a part of The First Order, I knew that I needed to look the part of being second in command to Commander Kylo Ren. I tied my hair into a side braid, as it had ended just above my hip, grabbing my lightsaber, I placed it onto my utility belt. Nodding, I deemed myself looking the part of second in command.

_ You can do this. A new chapter means a new look, a new outlook on things.  _

Turning I left my room, only to find Commander Ren standing across from my bedroom. He stood dressed in his black robes, mask and cowl.  _ Doesn’t he get hot wearing all of that? _ Looking around the empty corridor, I noticed that besides his room and my own, there was another door. 

"Hello, Commander Ren." He stared at me silently, I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes at his rude behavior from the fact that he ignored my greeting.

"You never told me your name," was all he said. "Is it really Marinette?"

"You never asked for it," he didn’t say anything, “yes, my name is Marinette but I go by Mari.” This seemed to satisfy him as he simply nodded.

"The only people that live on this floor is General Hux, you and I,” Another beat of silence “I will give you a tour of the base and then we can get to business," he started walking, as I immediately followed behind not wanting to get lost.

After two hours of walking around the large base, he told me everything I needed to know about my job and places I would most likely frequent. Such as the Communication Chamber, the hanger, docking bay, war room and the command room among a few others. I was also given the opportunity to meet a couple of officers and lieutenants but otherwise I had stayed by his side the entire time. I took notice that everybody feared Commander Ren, as they were all quick to please him. During an encounter with an officer named Lyon, he had thrown him across the room and into the wall without a warning. It didn’t even bother me that he had hurt the officer. Now that thought alone bothered me, but I didn’t have time to dwell on those thoughts as he had left the room of frightened officers with me scurrying behind him. 

Now that the tour was over though, Kylo informed me that he had business to attend to which I am to accompany him to learn about position as his second in command. We had walked into the command room, where the ginger haired man from yesterday stood with a few idle lieutenants on standby. He looked just as angry as he did when I first saw him, he glared at Commander Ren in irritation and disdain. I could feel the Commander's amusement and mild annoyance from him as the pale man had begun to rant at him once more for losing half of a platoon of stormtroopers on his last mission. I knew that I was guilty for killing two of his men.  _ Whoops. _ I remembered that his name was General Artimage Hux, it was rumored that he had a huge rivalry with Commander Ren. For what? I didn't know. All I knew was that he was giving me a headache from all his yelling.

I let my irritation roll off me as my headache was getting worse as the moments passed, and my stomach was growling as I hadn't eaten anything since long before we arrived on the base. From my peripheral vision, I looked over to the Commander to see his hand clenched tightly as he sensed my heavy irritation, he lifted his hand to General Hux as he started choking him.

"Now that you have shut that loud mouth of yours, meet your new superior, this is Marinette and she is my second in command and my apprentice. The Supreme Leader has appointed her to be at my side at all times, you are to treat her with respect, and if I catch you trying to harass her in any way, I won't hesitate to kill you," Commander Ren stated as he didn't even look at the General, he didn't give him a chance to respond as he dropped him onto the floor harshly before he walked over to the window. Where there were many distant planets spread along the galaxy.

_ Beautiful. _

Was all I thought as I stared at the stars in childlike wonder. With a smile, I simply watched them in wonder as I had ignored everything else around me. So caught up in my thoughts, I didn't even notice that Commander Ren had been staring at me rather than the view.

* * *

It's been three weeks since my first day, I had learned quickly what it meant to be his second in command. To deal with the mood swings of Kylo Ren. The first few days consisted of learning my way around the base, my training wouldn’t start until next week. Currently, we were in a meeting with several officers and lieutenants, including General Hux who was staring in my direction since I had to sit next to Commander Ren. But I wasn't paying attention since he had informed me that I didn't need to pay attention to what he said before we walked in. Glancing at him, I watched as he was growing angry as he was clenching his fists underneath the table. He was growing angry and frustrated and I knew that he was about to snap and throw one of his infamous tantrums. I had learned quickly of his anger issues when a poor low ranking officer delivered Commander Ren with bad news on my first day.

Concentrating I kept my gaze on the officers as they argued with each other over the table, I placed my left hand on his knee as I poured my energy out of my hand. My force signature wrapped around his as I breathed deeply, his signature brushed up against mine. Glancing from the corner of my eyes, I watched his shoulders visibly relax and his voice go back to a regular tone. Suppressing the urge to smile, I did a mental happy dance that it had worked as I had been practicing in order to calm him down whenever he got worked up like this.

_ Are you calm, Commander Ren? _

_ Yes. _

_ Good, I don't feel like cleaning up another dead body today. _

_ The day isn't over yet. _

* * *

"Are we going on a mission Commander?" I spoke as we walked through the corridors, as I took notice he took shorter strides so that I could keep up with him.

_ Maybe he wasn’t such a prick sometimes.  _

"No, you’re going on a mission as we shall be leaving in just a few minutes, you will be leading the troops into battle today as I monitor your skills from the ship," he spoke as he never looked up from what he was doing on a small tablet “and I suggest you keep up as we are running behind”

_ That arrogant prick _

"Yes, Commander Ren." 

* * *

A couple of hours later, I found myself hidden behind some large rocks. Huffing, I contained the groan that threatened to leave my lips as a sharp rock just jabbed me in the stomach, crouching down, I felt sweat begin dripping down from my forehead as I was slightly hidden under a couple of trees. The sun was at its highest peak in the sky as its heat rays slammed on me, causing me to get even more sweaty. 

“Where are they?” Muttering to myself, I waited patiently for the supplies that were supposed to pass in this valley.

“Commander, we’ve received word that there was a delay and it should be arriving any minute now,” The stormtrooper stated through the small intercom I was wearing, “everyone is in position and are just awaiting your command,” he added.

“Thank you.” 

Just as the stormtrooper spoke, a platoon of soldiers entered the valley with several carts of supplies with another platoon of soldiers guarding them from behind. Silently, I counted how many soldiers there were and found there to be a total of sixty-three soldiers. Several scenarios went through my head as we had to stop the supplies from getting to the city, with a nod I scanned the surrounding area quickly knowing that I had to be resourceful as I was only assigned thirty troopers for this mission. 

Raising my hand I reached out and clenched my hand as I yanked my fist towards me as the pile of rocks that was on the other side of the valley started falling. This distracted the soldiers as they all stopped and looked up at the rocks as they fell towards them. Jumping down, I used the distraction to my advantage, igniting my lightsaber. I killed the first two soldiers that had their backs to me. 

“I need squad 4 and 5 to cut them off immediately!” I snapped into the intercom as I began running towards the soldiers who had noticed me. They began shooting at me using my lightsaber, I quickly deflected the shots from their blasters. The sounds of their blasters had filled my ears as I continued deflecting their shots. 

Quickly scanning the valley, I killed three of the soldiers that were shooting at me before I quickly ran towards them before jumping in the air. Landing on one of the carts of supplies, I watched as they all turned towards me as they began shooting at me.

“Squads 2 and 3 attack now,” I mumbled through the intercom as I was on the defense and deflected their shots once more. 

In a couple of seconds, the stormtroopers were shooting at the soldiers. They quickly snapped their attention towards them as they left their backsides vulnerable. 

_ A mistake that I will reap to my benefit.  _

"Great work today." I had just landed back on the base and finished writing my report of everything that had transpired regarding my mission. “How many stormtroopers did you lose?”

"Thank you, Commander, I lost ten stormtroopers. I will try better next time," I stated with a straight back as I looked up at him with a clenched jaw. He turned away and began walking, as this was his way of telling me to follow him silently.

“They’re expendable,” was all he said as he walked into a conference room where he immediately took off his helmet. I watched as he had set it down on the table, he ran a hand through his hair before he took a seat at the conference table. Taking a seat at the table I twirled my hair around my pointer finger as I hummed a random tune, as I stared out into the snowy abyss through the rather large window.

* * *

I wasn’t surprised that I woke up from another dream, similar to the one I had when I woke up on the command shuttle. The creature covered in darkness had merely watched me, instead of offering me his hand like usual. It had brought a new found fear as I didn’t know how to react to him. It was odd that a wall of glass separated us, as it acted as a shield to both of us. I wasn’t able to see him clearly as I felt like I was underwater with my eyes open. Unclear and blurry. 

_ What did he want with me?  _

* * *

"You need to concentrate on using your emotions to fight against your opponent," Kylo walked around the training mat in circles as I breathed deeply, focusing on my emotions, "use your anger to best your opponent as you go for the killing blow" He added as he stared me down with authority.

"If I have no anger?"

"Pain, fear, loss." Nodding, I tried focusing on harnessing any pain that I could find before I concentrated on the nightmares I used to have. On the fear that I had felt through the realistic dreams that I had. I don’t think it was enough though as he shouted in frustration, deactivating my lightsaber, I turned to him with a huff as I let my walls come down around my mind.

"Look into my memories, Commander Ren! I told you that I don’t have anger! I’m trying!"

I watched as he lifted his hand to my head as I could feel him searching through my memories. Biting the inside of my cheek, I felt the familiar tang of blood touch my tongue as I grimaced in pain. After several minutes of silence, he dropped his hand as he looked frustrated and irritated, igniting his lightsaber I watched as he began slashing at the dummy. I let him throw his tantrum, as I simply stood there in silence as I patiently waited for him to finish his little tantrum. 

"This is proving to be difficult," he mumbled as he paced around the room as he mumbled to himself, "we'll have to continue this later, you will be accompanying me on a meeting with Supreme leader Snoke." I nodded as he finally stopped pacing and looked at me with a questioning look.

"Yes, Commander Ren." Rubbing my wrist, the marks that used to be there had disappeared. Along with anymore of those  _ dreams.  _

_ I didn’t know whether to be relieved or to be afraid.  _

* * *

“Good morning, General Hux,” I greeted as I walked into the Command room, where he stood at the window with a neutral expression with his arms crossed behind his back, he turned to me slightly. My heels clicked against the sleek, black tile as I walked right beside him with a small smile as I tried to be friendly.

“Commander Mari,” I seemed to have caught him off guard as he jumped slightly before he glanced at me, “Good Morning to you as well,” he greeted as I knew that he was attempting to be friendly back.

“Have there been any updates regarding Commander Kylo’s mission?” 

“We haven’t received anything new since late last night, as he is still scheduled to arrive in three hours,” General Hux reported as he turned towards me.

“I see then,” I chewed on the side of my cheek as I was worried about Commander Ren. 

**_-(Flashback: 2 days ago)-_ **

Kylo and I had just finished training for the day as we had been working on my physical strength since I was weak in that department. Wiping the sweat off my brow, I let out a deep breath as I placed my hands on my hips and bent over to catch my breath. Kylo had worked me to the bone as he was leaving on a personal mission, as I couldn’t come with him. 

My training outfit consisted of black capri leggings and a white tank top. Commander Ren’s was the same as mine except instead of leggings, he wore sweatpants that had the First Order emblem on them. 

“You did well today my apprentice,” glancing up I saw Commander Ren stare at me with pride in his eyes.

The only time he called me his apprentice or I called him my master was when we were training together. But once we stepped foot out of the training room, then we were back to being Commander Ren and Commander Mari. Part of my training was to know about the history of the force. He told me about Jedis, even though he was very reluctant to. I needed to be educated about the ways of the force, to know about Siths and the Jedis. He told me that if he had stayed and became a Jedi Master like his Uncle, Luke Skywalker then I would have become his padawan. I didn’t push him to ask anything else as I know that he was bothered by just telling me that small bit of information. 

“Thank you, Master,” I smiled, “that means a lot to me. I hope to be just as strong with the force as you are.” His lips twitched into a small half smile as his eyes glimmered with pride. 

“You will be, I promise you,” he spoke quietly running a hand through his hair as he looked away, “I will be leaving in two hours with squadrons 7 and 8,” he added.

“Master, I believe that I should join you on this mission. I understand that we discussed this before but I really do believe I should join you as I have a bad feeling about this.” Standing straight, I walked over to him and stopped a foot away from him as I looked up at him. I bit my lip hoping that he would give in and consider my question. But Commander Ren was stubborn, not to mention he was prideful.

“We discussed this already, I need you to stay here and continue your training with Captain Phasma until I am to return. You will also be attending to my duties as well as yours,” he stated as he drank out of a water bottle.

“Yes, Master, I’ll be getting cleaned up and will meet you in the war room,” grabbing my lightsaber I quickly left as I made my way towards my quarters knowing that I needed to push these bad feelings away.

**-(Flashback ends: Present)-**

“Let me know of any updates immediately, General,” giving him a quick smile, “I’ll be returning to my quarters for now,”

“Yes Commander” I couldn’t help but feel as though something bad had indeed happened as it wasn’t like Commander Ren to not follow protocol.

_ I hope he is okay. _

* * *

**Originally Published: December 27th, 2016**

**Edited: June 11th, 2020**


	3. Play Nice or Don't Play at all

_This was an amusing sight to see._

“I told you so,” Commander Ren sat in the medical bay with a frown as he was getting his wound stitched up by one of the droids. “Will you listen to me now when I tell you that the Force is warning me about something bad happening, _master?_ ” Crossing my arms over my chest, I smirked at him as I leaned up against the wall next to the door. He merely stared at me with a look that was supposed to scare me, but we both knew that wouldn’t work as I was used to his wrath and his tantrums by now.

Commander Ren had gone on a mission that I was to accompany him on but he didn’t believe me to be ready as I’m still in training. I hoped that he would have trusted me enough to accompany him on this secret mission of his but I still had a long way to go before I could gain his approval. I knew that it would be a long and consuming task but I knew that it would be worth it in the end. At least that was what I kept telling myself as I wondered what would my life be right now if I had just left years prior. 

“I will take your future warnings into consideration, _apprentice,”_ he sighed as he levelled a hard concentrated look with me before turning to the datapad I had given him when he first came in on request. “So how has your training been going since I left?” 

“Very well,” pausing, I pushed off the wall and began fiddling with one of the medieval tools. “Captain Phasma has been working me harder than her stormtroopers as she told me that my training is progressing very nicely.” Commander Ren stopped and stared at me with a glimmer of astonishment and surprise before it was masked quickly, furrowing my eyebrows, I didn’t quite understand why he was staring at me like that.

“Captain Phasma praised you?” He mumbled as he eyed me.

“Yes, is that an issue?”

_I’m confused, was she not supposed to or something?_

“That’s a very high honor my apprentice,” he stated before going back to the datapad. Cocking my head to the side, I let out a hum in agreement as I was thinking more about the situation. The more I realized that he was correct and that in just a short amount of time, I had won the approval of a fierce warrior such as her. “Once we are done here, we will be meeting with General Hux and the rest of the commanding officers and talk about the mission,” He added not even glancing up.

“Yes, Commander Ren.” 

* * *

Deactivating my lightsaber, I placed it back on my belt as I backed away from the demolished dummy. I felt six strong force signatures headed towards me, with the seventh one being the strongest one of all. One I was all too familiar with. Commander Ren. I heard the code being punched into the code pad, and as soon as I turned around I found Commander Ren standing in front and center. 

They all stood tall and proud, with straight backs and their wide shoulders set. Six men, huge and built dressed in black, wearing different black masks with their own unique weapons as well. They looked like dark phantoms, as arrogance and pride oozed off of them like cheap cologne. I didn’t need Commander Ren to tell me who they were, I had heard the rumors of these dangerous men. The stories of the villages they would raid, killing all the men and forcing the women to become their playthings, their toys as they would rape the women and then kill them as they sawfit. They were psychotic mass-murdering bastards and it made me sick, but I was like them now. I’ve killed men. Since joining the Order, I had taken several lives, I was just as guilty as them. It still made me sick, because they only listened to one man and one man alone and that man was their leader, their _Master._ **_My Master._ **

_I’m a monster._

_Like the Knights of Ren._

_Like my Master, Commander Ren._

“Commander Mari,” He started “These are my Knights, also known as the Knights of Ren” Crossing the room, my heels clicking against the floor as I stopped right in front of the seven masked individuals “From now on you will be entering the ring with one of them as I observe your skills and your progress. Outside of the training room, they will protect you and act as your guards until you have finished your training.” 

"I understand Master,” I could feel all of them intensely stare at me from under those masks of those, it made the hair on my arms stand as I wondered why they were staring at me like they wanted to devour me.

“You will be stepping into the ring with Vicrul today as this will give me a brief idea of what you need to work on” Pivoting on my foot, I stepped onto the mat with my lightsaber already in hand

Commander Ren already began walking around the large mat, the five knights stood on the sidelines as they held relaxed positions. The man that stepped into the ring held a weapon that was a phrik scythe. 

_Interesting choice of weapon._

“Take up your positions” Commander Ren spoke through his modulator

_This is bound to be interesting, to say the least._

“You’re able to hold your own,” He started “but that’s not good enough as your opponent is still standing” 

“I understand Master,” my skin felt sticky from being hot but I wasn’t yet sweating. 

“Vicrul switch spots with Trudgen” Bowing his head he turned and left the ring silently as he switched positions with one of the other knights who held a huge vibrocleaver and a black hood.

Several hours later, I lowered myself into the tub filled with bath salts that were supposed to help with the soreness. I had fought with each Knight, and had my ass handed to me. They weren’t holding back. All throughout the fights, I felt as if they were testing me. Testing if I was worthy for their Master, to train alongside them, to become a part of their **_brotherhood._** Pushing those thoughts away, I let myself relax. 

Vicrul, Trudgen, Cardo, Kuruk, Ap’lek, and Ushar

Those were the names of the famous Knights of Ren. The men who killed and destroyed whatever they wanted, at their own whim. I had mixed feelings about it. Maker, ever since I took Commander Ren’s hand, I have felt nothing but conflict. Conflict of what I was supposed to feel. I’m surprised that he hasn’t brought it up. Why he hasn’t forced me to fix it…

_Kriff, he confused me._

My datapad beeped as the small red light continued blinking, picking it up I saw that it was a message from Commander Ren. 

_Meeting in the War Room, tomorrow morning after training._

_Commander Kylo Ren_

Setting the datapad back down on the small table next to the bath, I buried myself underneath the water as I allowed the hot water numb my body. 

* * *

“Commander Mari will be accompanying me on my next mission to head to the planet Gryle on a private matter” Commander Ren stated as he stood from his chair giving them all a glare as he was daring them to argue with his decision, I bit back the laugh that wanted to leave my lips. “Out!” He barked after watching them cower for several moments 

“You’re going to give them heart attacks one day, I hope you know that,” I joked as I kicked my feet up on the table not even glancing at him, as I knew he was staring at me, “at this rate, we’ll always be hiring new people.” 

“There isn’t room for the faint hearted on this base, Commander Mari, you know this,” he stated, glancing at him, I dropped my feet from the table. Standing up, I walked over towards him as I placed a hand on his arm. “We are at war and I don’t have time to exchange niceties” 

“Don’t lead in fear but in respect Kylo, otherwise you will find a mutiny on your hands and a betrayal that could tear the First Order apart faster than The Republic could ever dream of,” staring up at him with a slight smile, I squeezed his arm before letting his arm go. Dropping my arm to my side, I kept my gaze on him as we silently stared at each other.

“I will take your advice into consideration,” he whispered as he leaned down and stared at me more closely.

“Thank you, Commander Ren.” Clearing my throat, I smiled nervously as I didn’t know how to respond to him. “I should go and prepare for the mission, how long will we be staying for?” Something passed in his eyes that I couldn’t read before it quickly disappeared and was replaced by a glint in his eye.

“We’ll be staying for a week,” was all he said, before he hunched over the table as he chuckled to himself as he closed his eyes in concentration.

_He could be such a weirdo at times._

* * *

After several grueling hours of being on the command shuttle, we were finally at our destination. Commander Ren had yet to tell me his true intentions of this abrupt meeting with the King of Gryle, I hoped that whatever it was that he would tell me soon enough. This was my first meeting with one of our most trusted allies and I didn’t want to mess anything up. The Knights of Ren had boarded off the ship first with Kylo Ren begins him and then me slightly behind. 

“I am pleased to meet you Commander Ren!” 

A dark tanned man with a golden crown on his head dressed in a fine suit wore a cocky smirk on his face. His huge greeted us with much enthusiasm. Standing to the side silently, I watched as Commander Ren stood in front of the young king donned in his black attire and mask. The silver detailings in his mask reflected the sun's beam and created a glare. He looked so dangerous and powerful right there as I knew that he was staring at the young king with annoyance, as I felt it through the force. 

_Play nice or don’t play at all, we’re guests in his kingdom._

_Doesn’t mean I have to entertain this ludicrously irritating behavior._

_Commander Ren, we are on a mission remember? The Supreme Leader is counting on us._

“It’s a _pleasure_ to meet you as well, your highness” He spoke in a mechanic voice as he tilted his head in acknowledgement, “this is my Second in Command and my apprentice,” he gestured for me to stand next to him. Straightening my back, I walked over to the two as I stood next to Commander Ren as I bowed my head with a smile.

“Your kingdom is absolutely lovely and not to mention very beautiful,” the king stared at me with a smile as he reached for my hand and leaned down to kiss it as his eyes never left mine.

“My, you’re quite beautiful, a sight for sore eyes that’s for sure.” He stood up straight but never let go of my hand, “I don’t believe I had the pleasure of knowing your name,” he smiled. 

“Marinette Blaine,” I answered as I felt a blush reach my face as he had a flirtatious glint in his eye.

“Marinette... walk with me and I’ll give you a tour of my castle,” My name rolled off of his tongue so smoothly as he still had yet to let go of my hand. “If you’re Commander Ren’s apprentice then does this mean you are also gifted with the force?” He asked with a tilt of his head as he offered me his arm, not wanting to be rude, I took it and let him lead me towards the castle.

“Yes I am, but I’m not fully trained as I still have much to learn from Master Ren.” We walked through the maze gardens and under arches of flowers.

“I believe that you would be an amazing wielder of the force,” he commented. Blushing, I didn’t know how to reply as I suddenly felt nervous.

“T-thank you, your highness.” 

“I’ll have my servants show you to your rooms so that you may rest a bit before we have dinner tonight,” he spoke as we stopped in a large corridor, he let go of my arm and turned to Commander Ren and I.

“Thank you for your hospitality, your highness,” Commander Ren spoke as he had been quiet this entire time.

After we were shown to our rooms, mine being across from Commander Ren’s, I took a brief nap and then decided that a shower was in order as I felt gross from traveling for twelve hours in a ship with Commander Ren and the Knights of Ren. Stepping out in the white silk robe I was given, I walked towards the bed where a dress was laid out for me to wear. It was very pretty. 

“It’s a beautiful dress isn’t it?” Activating my lightsaber, I swung around and pointed it at the person as my lightsaber hummed to life as it was pointed at Commander Ren’s neck. He merely raised an eyebrow at me as he stared down at me with amusement dancing in his eyes, “you should be more aware of your surroundings my apprentice.” 

“I-I’m so sorry Commander!” I deactivated it as I threw it onto the bed, “I was distracted,” I rushed out as I backed up a bit to look at him more clearly.

“You will find yourself killed if you don’t work on your ability to use the force to sense your surroundings,” he stated. 

“Yes Master, I’ll remember that next time,” I bowed my head as I let out a sigh, “what is it that I can do for you, Master?” Raising an eyebrow at him as I wondered why he was in my room in the first place.

“I need you to seduce the king in order for him to lower defenses so you can read his mind and see where his loyalty lies, and I need to know whether he is an enemy or an ally,” he explained, “I need you to get close to him before the end of the week.” 

“How am I to do that?” Crossing my arms over my chest, I let him feel how confused I was about this situation. “Is this why you brought me along?” 

“I brought you along so I could train you on how to go undercover and acquire critical information that will help the First Order gain an ally or an enemy.” 

Walking over to the balcony, I began pacing as I ran a hand through my hair wondering how I was to go about this. A million scenarios ran through my head as I thought about what could go wrong, I wasn’t experienced in the ways of men. In reality, I had no experience with men growing up as I was more focused on other things such as developing my abilities. The most I had done with a boy was make out but even then it was very limited. 

“I have no such experience with men much less seducing them, how do I even know if this will work? What if I fail?” I was honest about what I felt and let my inner thoughts out as I needed him to know that I had reservations on this topic.

“You won’t fail, he has already taken a liking to you, my apprentice. You will succeed because I have much trust in your ability,” stopping, I faced him to see him leaning against the wall as he watched me intently.

“Alright,” chewing on my bottom lip, I let out a sigh as I knew that Commander Ren was right, this was part of my training and I needed to excel so I could become a part of the First Order officially. “What am I to do then? I have no idea on how to seduce a man,” placing my hands on my hips I cocked an eyebrow at him letting him know that I needed his guidance.

“Just be yourself, my apprentice, he seems to already have developed a liking towards your beauty and intellect,” he shrugged which made me let out a groan as that didn’t even help me.

“What am I to do in order to make me seem more desirable to him?” 

“Be vulnerable, tease him into believing that you have feelings for him,” was all he said before he pushed off the wall.

“Yes, Master Ren.”

* * *

“My word, you look absolutely beautiful, Miss Blaine,” I walked into the dining room with a smile on my face as I bowed, he immediately stood and walked over to me as he offered me a hand, “no reason that a beauty such as yourself should bow to me.” 

“Thank you, your highness, that is very generous of you,” I smiled hoping he couldn’t sense my nervousness as he led me towards my seat which was next to him but across from Commander Ren who merely gave me a subtle nod.

“I was hoping that I could perhaps take you on a walk after dinner maybe.” Taking my seat I smiled as he pushed my seat in before he took his, blushing I looked at him as I felt my brain run into overdrive.

“As long as Master Ren is okay with me leaving my station for the night,” glancing over, I looked to Commander Ren who merely looked between the both of us and nodded.

“I’ll have one of the knights take over your post for the night,” he stated before he drank out of his goblet, “just remember that we still have training in the morning.” 

“I won’t forget, Master.” 

* * *

It had been five days since the start of this mission, when I wasn’t training with Commander Ren. The king would accompany me on walks around the gardens or even the capital. Most of our conversations regarded politics, the war, and answering his questions about being an apprentice to Commander Ren. Other than that I hadn’t been able to get him to open up to me and I feel as if I am going to fail this mission. A sigh left my lips as I shook my head of those negative thoughts as I set the book I was reading down on the small round table. Letting out a yawn, I stretched in my seat before standing up as I decided to retire for the night as I had an early training session in the morning. 

“Focus!” 

Snapping my head up, I was barely able to miss one of Trudgen’s swings as I dropped into a backbend, kicking him square in the jaw. I flipped over landing on my feet once more, as I watched him quickly regain his balance, he was quick to attack me once more. Activating my lightsaber, on a swift motion I ran towards him before jumping and landing right behind him. He spun around quickly only to be met with my lightsaber at his throat. Panting, I could feel the sweat slowly slide down my forehead as my chest heaved up and down. 

“I believe I won,” I managed to say after I had calmed down my breathing, deactivating my lightsaber, I dropped my arm to my side as I could still feel the adrenaline run through my veins. 

“Congratulations, apprentice,” glancing over to Commander Ren, I watched as he had made his way towards me without his mask.

“Thank you, Master,” bowing to him, I straightened up as I grabbed my water bottle and practically inhaled all the water.

For the past six hours, Commander Ren had been putting me through rigorous workouts, reviewing combat techniques, and checking posture before throwing me into an abrupt fight with one of his Knights of Ren. I had only been successful to beat one of them, but a win is still a win. I felt pride swell in my chest at the fact I had managed to beat one of the Knights of Ren. 

“At this rate that you’re progressing, you’ll become a very powerful force wielder, and you’ll be able to join me on the frontlines permanently.” Setting the water bottle down, I turned back to him and flashed him a teasing smile.

“Was that praise from you, Commander Ren? I believe that I must have heard you wrong.” 

“You should go and get ready for tonight’s ball, we’ll be leaving tomorrow morning,” he shook his head at my teasing as he was used to it by now. Grabbing his things, he began making his way out of the training room. 

“Commander Ren…” He stopped at the door as the Knights of Ren all filed out of the room leaving the two of us in the silent room, “I feel as though I have failed you on this mission as the king has yet to open up to me about anything.” Chewing on my bottom lip, I clutched my lightsaber in my right hand tightly as I stared hard at the ground with a grim look.

“You haven’t failed me, my apprentice, I believe that you will succeed tonight, just as long as you play your cards right you will have the king wrapped around your finger,” was all he said as he gave me a half smile before he left the training room, leaving me in silence as I stood there with my lightsaber in hand.

* * *

**Originally Published Date: December 28th, 2016**

**Edited Date: June 12th, 2020**

  
  



	4. I'm not some prie to be won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars!

“I don’t think I can breathe in this,” the handmaidens that the king had sent to help me get ready for the lavish party that was being held to send us off after staying for a week in his beautiful kingdom were currently lacing the back of my dress up. The beautiful dress had many skirts as it was a princess ball gown, the dark navy blue color complemented well with my skin tone. As white diamonds littered the bottom of the gown, so whenever I spun around it looked like the night sky. 

“I’m sorry, but we were given instructions on how you needed to look for tonight my lady,” the meek woman responded as she finished lacing my dress. Stepping off the small round platform, I slipped into the black heels I was to wear for tonight.

“You look very beautiful, Miss,” one of the younger women had complimented me as she smiled at me fondly through the large stand up mirror.

“Thank you.” 

My hair was curled as it fell over my shoulders, not a single hair was out of place, they had filled my hair with small silver flower pins. Staring at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t believe that I looked like this. Never in a million years did I think I would be dressed in diamonds and silk fabrics. Much less the makeup I wore as it made my eyes pop and my features resemble those of an aristocrat. 

Grabbing the silver shawl, I wrapped it around my arms as I let out a soft sigh, the mission that I was given was rattling around my brain. I felt remorse as I felt bad for playing with the king’s feelings as I could feel the guilt on my shoulders. But I had made the decision to join the Order, which meant I had given over my life to them. So if they told me to jump then my response would ask how high? 

_ “You haven’t failed me, my apprentice. I believe that you will succeed tonight, just as long as you play your cards right you will have the king wrapped around your finger.”  _

Stepping out of my chambers, I held my head up high as I watched three of the Knights of Ren guard my chambers as they stood with their backs straight and their weapons ready. Commander Ren had assigned them to escort me to the ballroom as the other three Knights were with him, I had my lightsaber tucked underneath my dress in a thigh holster. I refused to leave my lightsaber back in my chambers just in case anything were to happen tonight, and th fact that I felt uneasy without it on my person.

“Hello Ushar, Cardo, and Trudgen,” the three knights were dressed in their usual black uniforms with their weapons at their sides, they bowed their heads in acknowledgement as their way of greeting me. “Will you be dancing tonight?” 

“You're funny princess,” Trudgen scoffed from underneath that mask of his, with a smile I shrugged my shoulders. 

“It isn’t hard, you should try taking that stick out of your ass and have some fun,” I earned silence as they stared at me behind their masks, rolling my eyes, I started walking towards the ballroom as Cardo and Trudgen flanked both my sides and Ushar took up the back. 

I had a couple of hours left in order to get King Ferial to lower the walls around his mind in order to get the information that Commander Ren needed in order to gauge whether he had betrayed us or not. Personally, I don’t think he had betrayed the First Order but at the same time, appearances can be quite deceiving and I could be merely wrong. Sometimes I wonder whether I really am as powerful as Supreme Leader Snoke and Commander Ren believe me to be, as I feel inadequate about my abilities. I had yet to actually face my master in a duel as he had me going up against the stormtroopers or the Knights of Ren. 

Once I walked into the large, candlelit lavish ballroom, I found nothing but humans and aliens dressed in rich fabrics and the finest jewels as they had drinks in hand as they chatted and laughed amongst themselves. Scanning the ballroom, I looked for either King Ferial or Commander Ren, but neither of them were anywhere to be seen. Making my way through the nobility with the Knights of Ren at my sides, I took a glass of champagne off a tray that a server was walking around with. Bringing the alcoholic liquid to my lips, I sipped the sweet drink. Walking through the small crowds, I navigated my way through with the Knights close behind as they were under strict orders to not leave my side until I met up with Commander Ren. 

Stopping, I closed my eyes as I tried using the force to find Commander Ren; it was a trick that he had been teaching me but I was still struggling to harness the force and use it to find his force signature. Furrowing my eyebrows, I focused as I tried looking for his signature in this ballroom full of people. A small sharp pain had stabbed me from the side of my forehead as I tried focusing even harder. As I was about to give up, I found it as he was on the balcony terrace outside with the king. 

I brought the shawl over my shoulders a bit more as soon as I stepped out onto the balcony. The other three Knights stood a ways away as they stood tall and proud, the Knights that were with me joined them. Switching my gaze, I watched as both men stood leaning up against the railing as they were talking amongst themselves in hushed whispers. Or more like that King Ferial was speaking while Commander Ren stood and listened to him prattle on about god knows what. He wore his usual black robes and iconic black mask as he had his hands on the metal railing. 

“Commander Ren, your Highness,” stopping behind both men, they turned their heads toward me, “I do hope I’m not interrupting your conversation,” relief flooded the air, I knew it came from Commander Ren as he was staring intently at me.

“No, you're not interrupting anything,” the king was dressed in white robes as he smiled at me with a champagne glass in hand, “you look absolutely gorgeous in this moonlight.” A small blush crawled to my cheeks as I averted my gaze from him as my mind was screaming to relax but every muscle in my body stayed tense as I smiled through it hoping he couldn’t see my nervousness.

“Thank you, your Highness.” 

“May I have the honor of dancing with you on this beautiful night?” 

_ Commander Ren, I don’t know how to dance. I’ve never danced in my life before! I’m going to make myself look like a complete fool in front of him and everybody. _

_ Calm down, Commander, just follow his lead as well as your instincts and you should be perfectly fine. _

Offering me his hand, I glanced towards Commander Ren who gave me a subtle nod to my silent request. Taking a deep breath, I offered a bright smile as I looked back at King Ferial.

“You may, your Highness, that is if you can take me on a walk through your beautiful gardens after,” laughing softly, I placed my gloved hand in his as I handed my champagne glass to Commander Ren who took it silently, “as long as that is okay with Commander Ren.” 

“I’ll send three of the Knights of Ren to secure the perimeter for your walk,” his static voice sounded through the crisp cool air as he set the champagne glass down on the cement railing.

“Thank you, Commander Ren,” gripping my hand with a bit more force he led me back inside the ballroom as loud chatter and laughs invaded my ears as people parted for the king and I to take up the center of the floor as everybody had stepped off. 

Letting go of my hand, we turned to face each other and bowed respectively. The music began playing softly, he placed his hand on my waist causing me to let out a gasp. Swallowing the invisible lump in my throat I tried to steady my racing heart as I found myself nervous and jumpy.

_ Place your hand on his shoulder. _

_ Thank you, Commander. _

_ I can feel your emotions, you need to relax or this won’t work. _

_ I’ve never danced much less been with a man in such a position!  _

Silently huffing, I was about to snap another remark before I felt his force signature wrap around me. A huge wave of calm and peace washed over, dropping my shoulders, I placed my now still hand on his shoulder, glancing up, I met his steady gaze as he offered me a smile along with a wink that caused me to smile. We swayed back and forth for several long moments before those moments turned into us spinning and gliding across the dance floor. 

“You look very beautiful tonight,” he murmured in my ear as he brought me close to his body once more, “since I first laid eyes on you, I can’t seem to take them off of you as you refuse to leave my mind.” 

“King Ferial…” We stopped dancing as his hands left my wrist but instead took my left hand.

“Please just call me Ferial,” he smiled, whispers and murmurs were filling the air as I was growing confused as to why he was telling me this, “Marinette, you have placed a spell on me the moment I saw you smile as I have found myself falling for you. These feelings have become ardent as every moment with you is another memory that I will cherish,” he stated loudly for everyone to hear, I felt my face become red from the attention that we were receiving as I watched him slowly get down on one knee causing my eyes to go wide.

“Will you do me the honor of allowing me to spend more moments with you, here in Gryle ruling side by side?” He stated as everyone was watching us in anticipation, “will you marry me and become my wife?” I felt my heart drop to my stomach as I felt guilt swallow me and several emotions slam into me all at once.

“I-....” Taking my hand from his I picked up the skirts of my dress and slowly backed away as I felt everybody stare at me and whisper amongst themselves. Turning around, I fled out of the ballroom into the cold as I raced into the large gardens, not caring about my appearance in the slightest as I found myself feeling overwhelmed with several emotions pushing my heart around in several directions.

_ I failed. _

_ I failed my mission... _

_ I failed The First Order… _

_ I failed Supreme Leader Snoke… _

* * *

My parents had found out that I was force sensitive when I was at the young age of five when I had accidentally lifted up the kitchen table. At the age of eight, I had started training with my father, both spiritually and physically, as he wanted to keep my abilities a secret from the resistance and the First Order. Growing up I never thought much of my future, much less about life outside of the town my father had created with my mother. A future of living a normal mundane life was also off the table, being force sensitive I had a target on my back with the war, regarding the Republic and The First Order. My options were to either hide away forever or to choose a side, which I did to spare my parents and the people I was to take care of. 

So if you had told me that I would become an apprentice and second in command to the Great Commander Kylo Ren, I’d have probably laughed and called you crazy. Then throw in the fact that a king had fallen in love with me in just a week and proposed to me in front of the nobility and the gentry, I’d probably have you committed. 

_ Yet here I am… _

In just a little over a month, I have found myself feeling so many emotions I hadn’t ever felt before in my twenty-three years of life. Emotions I believed that I would never have dreamt of feeling such as anger, pain, and confusion baffled me, as I didn’t know how to express them in a healthy manner without hurting anybody. Commander Ren had told me that I had to use my emotions in order to help with my training in the ways of the dark side. 

_ Yet here I am… _

Running away from a king’s proposal because of feelings that I have never dealt with before. I feel like a child, unable to deal with my emotions as I’m confused by many of them. Commander Ren had told me that by the Jedi Code, you weren’t supposed to have feelings of attachment and possession as those would lead to other emotions such as anger,  hatred, fear, or aggression. Which would then lead to falling to the dark side of the force. Like Anakin Skywalker and the death of his wife Padme Amidala. 

“Commander Marinette,” with an outstretched hand, I used the force to choke the person who dared interrupt me only to find I was met with the force fighting me back. Snapping my head up, I found Master Ren with his hand outstretched as well towards me, immediately dropping my hand along with the force he dropped his as well. 

“I-I’m sorry, Master Ren!” Quickly standing at my feet, I ignored the pain of the uncomfortable heels I wore as I bowed my head lowly. 

“You need to become more aware of your surroundings, my apprentice.” 

“I apologize, I’m finding it quite difficult to think of my surroundings,” taking a seat once more, I looked down at my hands as a shaky breath had left my lips, “I have much on my mind at this current moment, it isn’t an excuse but I can-” 

“I admit that his proposal had shocked me as well,” he took a seat beside me on the bench, he had his helmet taken off and set in his lap, “you did well having him wrapped around your finger in such a short time. I sense your conflicted emotions regarding the mission I gave you,” he continued.

“King Ferial proposed to me after only knowing me for a short week, why is that? He would gain nothing from marrying me, so why me?” Standing, I began pacing in the small clearing in front of him as I tried to wrap my head around the situation I found myself in. 

“That isn’t true exactly,” snapping my head towards him, I watched as he set his helmet onto the ground. Lifting his head towards me, he stared at me with his doe eyes and a clenched jaw. “If you were to accept his proposal, he’d have protection from the First Order. By marrying you, he’d gain many advantages such as alliances, protection, and even money.” 

“What do I have to do with anything is what I’m not comprehending, I’m not worth that much,” clenching my jaw I raised an eyebrow as he let out an amused chuckle.

“The Supreme Leader would do anything to make sure you stayed on our side of the war even if it meant you marrying some fool with a crown. We’d also reap many benefits from you marrying a man with power and weapons to help supply our army.” 

“Is that all I am? A means to an end?” Snapping, I felt anger surge within me at his description of my position with the First Order, “ _ I’m not some prize to be won. _ ” 

“I’m merely stating what could happen if you were to accept proposals from royalty, especially one as influential as King Ferial,” he let out another amused chuckle causing my eye to twitch with annoyance.

_ How dare he laugh at me! _

“I’m glad that you’re very amused about my situation,  _ Commander, _ ” crossing my arms over my chest, I turned away from him as I could feel anger bubbled up inside me, just begging to be let out once more.

“You’re confused, angry and nervous…” 

“I don’t want to hurt anybody, I merely wish to keep my end of the deal and to make my vow to The First Order to fight on the front lines with you,” letting out a soft sigh I kicked off the heels I was wearing as I began to pace around as I tried to think of how to deal with the situation at hand.

“You need to focus on the task at hand, did you get what you were asked to?” 

“Y-yes.” 

During his proposal he had let his walls down and even now, they were still down. I could feel his sadness and confusion through the force as I found myself feeling guilty for running out on him and his proposal. To be quite honest, I didn’t know how I felt about the king, I had enveloped myself so much in this mission I didn’t stop to think about my own feelings. Never once did I think about love or having a family, as I believed that my life was always insignificant. 

“You don’t have time for frivolous things like love and wanting a family, you’re a soldier for the First Order. If you were to marry him, he’d only be in danger.” 

“That’s all I’m good for… is a soldier in this game of cat and mouse with the Republic?”

Even now, I don’t belong anywhere. I’m seen as another soldier in this war, another life that could help win this power struggle over the galaxy. 

“I-“ 

“I understand, I received your message loud and clear, Commander,” picking up the skirts of my dress, I walked over to my heels and stepped back into them as I dropped my skirts. Commander Ren stood with his helmet in hand as he watched me in silence, glaring at him, I snapped, “Now if you excuse me, I have a King waiting for me,” turning away with a huff, I quickly left the small clearing as I made my way back towards the castle ignoring the cool wind that brushed across my body.

* * *

Once I stepped foot back into the ballroom, the sounds of people’s conversation invaded my ears. Looking for King Ferial wasn’t too hard as he was waiting on the balcony with a drink in hand. I welcomed the warm air as I thought of what to say, not in the least bit prepared for this type of situation. Taking a deep breath, I knew what I had to do because regardless of feelings, I needed to complete the mission that I was given. Seconds passed by in silence before he finally said anything to me, it was almost barely audible but I still heard it. 

“It’s not everyday a woman rejects a king’s marriage proposal,” he laughed humorously as he downed the rest of his drink. Biting my bottom lip, I felt guilt swallow me once more.

“You won’t be happy married to me,” he snorted.

“I made a deal to spare my parents, a deal that resulted in me making a vow to pledge myself to the First Order, to Commander Ren…” 

“Marinette, I can give you a life full of love and happiness, a family, whatever your heart desires…” 

Clutching onto the railing, I tilted my head down as I took a deep breath, remembering what Master Ren had told me on how to slip through people’s minds without being detected. I hadn’t ever tried it before as he had taught me this technique the other night, he had told me that you can cause them pain but it isn’t necessary as he uses it as a torture technique. Which to say is not all that surprising as he is Kylo Ren…

As his words merely became background white noise, I closed my eyes as I slipped into his mind with nothing but ease. Giving him the occasional hum to show that I was listening to what he was telling me. His walls were down but for how long? I didn’t know but what I did know was that I needed to find out if he was really telling us the truth. Was he really honoring the deal or was the evidence that we found of his betrayal true? Regardless, pushing my feelings aside, I delved deeper into his mind. Ignoring his countless memories, I looked for anything tangible, just a small little piece of information. Something that could give me definite proof of the weapons he was selling to the Resistance. 

As I was about to leave his mind determining that he was an honorable man to the deal, I found something tucked away into the back of his mind. Tucked into the darkness that I had almost missed, retrieving it was easy but I was not prepared for what I had discovered. It made me sick. I no longer felt guilty for playing with his feelings as he was playing the entire First Order this entire time. What Commander Ren had said was true, he was using me in order to gain favor with the First Order, with Supreme Leader Snoke. To gain secret information on us and to bring it back to the Republic. 

**_He’s a spy._ **

“... You don’t have to give up your deal, just modify it to be with me. I love you and I wish for you to love me just as much as I do you.” Snapping my eyes open, I glanced over to see him still in his own world of trying to convince me of his feelings. 

_ You were correct, Commander Ren, he is a spy for the Republic but I fear to tell you that there is definitely more than we have yet to discover. _

_ Distract him. _

_ As you wish. _

Anger washed over me as flashes of what I had seen popped into my head, taking a deep breath I pushed those ardent feelings away. His rambling was beginning to fade into white noise as my stomach was sick, unable to believe that he could commit such atrocities to his own people that he swore to protect once he had accepted the crown of being their king.  _ Looks can be quite deceiving… _

_ “ _ You don’t love me…” Turning I walked away from him but I didn’t make it far as he gripped my arm and swung me around to face him. “Bold of you to grab me like that,” raising an eyebrow at him, I now understood what Commander Ren had meant by his arrogance.

“I do love you!”

Shaking my head, I snatched my arm from his tight grip as I turned away from him and wrapped my arms around my body. I ignored the sound of the music, laughter and glasses clinking as I focused on the man in front of me. 

_ A fool with a crown… indeed you were correct, Commander.  _

“I’ve never loved anybody romantically all my life, I don’t have much experience as I only grew up watching my parents. What I can say is that time is irrelevant to loving somebody, love is understanding the other person. Flaws and all, because in order for you to love somebody you have to love all of them not just the pretty parts but the ugly parts as well.” Snapping softly, my parents flashed into my head as I remembered nights spent sitting in the living room together. My mother singing as she knitted, my father reading a book in his favorite chair, and I would just watch both of them look at each other with loving eyes until I fell asleep. “I insist that you stop trying to convince me of your false notions of love, I know that you’re lying to me. I’m force sensitive, or have you forgotten?” 

“I-”

A painful yelp left his lips as he clutched his head before crumpling to his knees, a figure in black stood beside me with their arm stretched out to the whimpering man. Glancing down, I watched as the king that stood with arrogance was now cowering in fear as Commander Ren was torturing him.

“You did well, my apprentice.” A swell of pride washed over me as his praise brought a smile to my face, clapping my hands softly ignoring the groans of pain from the figure in front of me. 

“Thank you, Master Ren.” He just gave me a nod as he focused back on the subject at hand as he brought the king into the air as he clenched his fist. Screams of pain were drowned out by the singing and dancing of the people inside. “He’s a spy, he has been gathering intel and delivering it to them through a secret base that is on this planet somewhere” Commander Ren let out a hum as he continued staring down at the crying man in front of us, he was thinking. That was a new one. 

"You have betrayed the First Order by selling weapons to the enemy,” he started as I noticed that the Knights of Ren were blocking anybody from getting too close to the small tower and witnessing the interrogation that was taking place in a very painful matter. “I can’t tell if you’re stupid or brave to think you could get away with it.” The dim lighting from the candles danced off his mask causing a small gleam to bounce off the silver detailings. He looked… strong. Untouchable. 

“I stand… with The R-Republic!” King Ferial managed to spit out as he glared at him.

“I see then…” Commander Ren dropped him from his grip causing him to land on the marble flooring with a sickening thud, “you will be killed for your crimes, any last words?” He stumbled to his feet as he started laughing, causing my stomach to have a queasy feeling that something was going to happen. 

“Just a couple,” he smirked after his laughing fit was over, “We will rise and destroy both you and the Republic” With a snap of his fingers an explosion had gone off, screams and cries were heard as we were both thrown back. Running over to the balcony railing, I watched as everybody had started screaming as the ceiling shook, unprepared for this, King Ferial took it as an opportunity to disappear. Commander Ren swore as he balled his hands into fists, glancing at him I glanced down back to the people to see them scared and confused. 

“Commander Ren, we need to find him!” Quickly running down the steps with him following, the Knights of Ren had let me pass as we were back on the ground with the people. “When I was looking through his head, I found several plans. He’s not just serving The Republic, he-” I was cut off as an explosion suddenly went off, people started screaming and running in all different directions. Turning around, I couldn’t find Commander Ren or the Knights as people were pushing me out of the way. 

Shock and fear racked my body as I found the corpse of a young woman who was crushed from the debris. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked away as I tried navigating through the chaos, taking deep breaths seemed to help as I tried looking through the mass of vibrant colored dresses and blur of faces to look for the bold but beautiful black robes that I knew all too well. As I was almost out of the ballroom, another bomb had gone off as a huge part of the ceiling caved in, the debris falling and killing several people. 

_ Don’t feel… You can do this, just focus like Master Ren said… _

Looking away I found myself being pushed out of the way as people were rushing to leave, stumbling, I hit my head on something sharp as I fell to the floor. It was as everything went in slow motion, numbly I watched as people were rushing back inside the ballroom as several men dressed in white and blue started yelling as they quickly killed them. Snapping myself out of the daze, I reached underneath my dress, cursing it for having so many skirts, as I reached for my lightsaber. Kicking off the blasted heels I had been wearing, I made my way back to my feet. Quickly but quietly I crept to the closet man as he was about to kill a woman who was petrified with fear. 

Coming up behind him, I force choked the man until he was no longer gasping for air. Dropping him, the woman gave me a teary eyed smile as her way of thanking me, I merely nodded towards the exit. She understood what I had meant as she scrambled to her feet and took off out the doors before she could get caught again. Stepping over the man's body, I made my way toward the closest one towards me, he turned around and spotted me. Glancing at my lightsaber in hand he let out a scream, they attracted the others attention as they all stared at me. I activated my lightsaber as they all exchanged glances with one another before they started charging at me. Shaking my head, I knew that I was about to add more notches once we got back to Starkiller. 

_ Dammit… _

Huffing, I felt a sheen of sweat cover my body as I looked around at all the dead bodies in blue and white uniforms. Smiling, I wiped the sweat that was slowly trailing from my forehead only to smear blood on my face. Looking down at the fist sized wound in my left side, I bit back a grimace hoping it wouldn’t scar. Too much at least. The room had grown warmer due to the small fires that had started, clutching my wound with my left hand. I remembered to use my pain as a way to become stronger with the dark side, to use it to make me powerful. Black spots slowly started appearing in my vision as I found myself stumbling around bodies, both innocents and whoever those men were. Biting back the bile that rose in my throat, I pushed myself forward as I made my way out into the hall only to find more bodies. 

_ King Ferial will pay for this, even if it kills me… _

Turning around, I stabbed the man that had crept up behind me. The knife in his hand fell to the marble floor, the sound was drowned out by his scream. The lightsaber burnt his flesh as his screams echoed throughout the large hall. Bringing my leg up to his stomach, I kicked him off my lightsaber as his body fell to the ground in a lump. Blood was splattered all over his uniform.  **_Innocent blood._ **

_ This wasn’t supposed to happen. I had gotten what I needed and instead I had failed and now hundreds of people were dead. It’s my fault. _

Smoke filled the air as small fires were slowly crawling up the silk fabrics that hung from the ceilings. Blinking back the black spots that clouded my vision, a groan left my lips as the pain steadily stretched across my side. Leaning up against the wall slightly slouched over, my left hand was covering the bleeding wound on my right shoulder as I clutched my lightsaber with my right hand. My ears were still ringing from the bomb that had gone off, that had sent everybody into great panic as the entire ballroom was thrown into chaos. Commander Ren and I were separated due to the chaos and I didn’t see any of the Knights of Ren as they were also missing. Focusing on my surroundings, blood and bodies were everywhere through the large hall as I stumbled outside of the ballroom and into the large corridor looking for any survivors. 

Loud shouts and screams were coming from outside, snapping my eyes closed. I used the force to try and locate Commander Ren. After several minutes, I finally found his force signature as he was outside along with the Knights of Ren fighting. Opening my eyes, I pushed myself off the wall as I ignored the pain from my wound and made my way outside, as I had navigated my way through the debris and bodies. The whispers had started to get louder with each life I took, but I didn’t care. Commander Ren needed my help, it was that motivation that I used to force myself to continue pushing forward. 

Once I made it outside I came face to face with a huge battle going on with Commander Ren and the Knights of Ren fighting a platoon of men dressed in uniforms of blue and white. They seemed to be a band of mercenaries as their movements were quick but sloppy not to mention their posture had left them open as they fought. Scanning my surroundings, I saw innocents' bodies were scattered around dead as blood had been splattered all over the marble steps. Biting back the tears that threatened to fall, I quickly looked away as I bit my tongue to prevent myself from crying. After several moments of collecting myself, I forced my attention back to Commander Ren who was in the center of it as he was taking on ten men by himself, without much thinking on my part I ran down the flight of steps. Jumping into battle wasn’t too hard as I applied my training with both my father and master to make my way towards him. 

The Knights of Ren had helped cover me as I made my way towards the man dressed in black as he held his iconic bright red deadly weapon in his hands as he killed men without even a single thought. Before I could get to him though, two men had blocked my path, their once white and blue uniforms were covered in fresh blood and caked on dirt. Clenching my jaw, I gripped my lightsaber as I waited for them to make the first move. The burly man ran towards me with a sword in hand as he raised it over his head, I successfully blocked the obvious attack. Bringing my leg up quickly I kicked him back, the large man staggered backwards. Before I could attack him once more though, the smaller but still large man had deflected my swing with his own. 

_ Forgot about this bastard. _

Swiftly turning, I darted to the side as I used the force to give me a bit of a boost as I sliced his side wide open. A blood curdling scream left his lips as he fell onto the ground as he held his side, the sight caused me to smile a bit before I found myself being lifted into a choke hold. My vision rapidly clouded by dark spots as my air was being cut off, twirling my lightsaber in my right hand I used the little energy I had and slammed my lightsaber into his side. He threw me to the ground harshly, landing on my hands and knees with my head turned towards him. Gasping loudly for air, he was howling in pain as he glared daggers at me. Stumbling to my feet after reclaiming my breath once more, I spun around to find him advancing towards me already ready to attack me once more. He ran towards me with his fist drawn back, evading the hit I nimbly slid across the flooring as I slashed at his leg. Skidding to a stop, I heard him crumple to the ground as his screams of pain filled the cold night air. 

_ I’d be screaming too if I just had my leg severed off.  _

“Commander Ren!” My voice was a bit hoarse as I had made my way to his side, he glanced at me once he stabbed one of the men through his chest cavity.

“Commander Mari,” he stated as he pulled his lightsaber out of the dead man, whose corpse fell to the ground with a large thump, “nice of you to  _ finally _ join us.” Rolling my eyes at his sarcastic remark, twirling my lightsaber in my hand once more I turned my back to Commander Ren as I took my defense stance as three men faced me several feet away, as they mirrored my stance as I was ready to attack. 

“Asshat,” I mumbled as I felt his back press up against mine, his response came in the form of a snort through his black and silver mask that was now splattered with blood. 

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”

All I could hear was my heart beating in my ears as my breaths came out in short pants as I changed my focus and began to alternate between my defense and offense attacks. Time seemed irrelevant as I didn’t know how long we were fighting for, as everything went by in a blur as I had killed the last man as I force choked him after having pinned him down with my foot on his chest. Deactivating my lightsaber, my chest rose and fell heavily as I tried to steady my breathing once more.

“Were there any survivors?” Turning around I came face to face with Kylo as he stood not even a foot before me.

“Not that I know of,” I knew I looked a mess as I was barefoot, my once beautiful dress was torn and ripped in several places as well, and it was covered in grime, dirt, and blood. Covered in scratches and cuts, and black soot from the flames as they had briefly danced across my flesh. Blood was streaked across my face and I knew that I was already covered in bruises that had yet to form. “From what I saw the people who had managed to escape the blast were killed by the mercenaries,” my vision began blurring as the adrenaline in my veins began to wear off. The whispers grew louder, grimacing. I clutched my head as the sharp stabbing pain grew across my temple. 

“Commander Mari, are you okay?” My legs buckled underneath me as exhaustion, blood loss, and pain racked my body. The black spots returned as they clouded my vision, the effects of losing so much blood finally hit me as I felt myself crumple to the ground. 

“Marinette!” 

_ Did he just call me by my first name? _

  
  



	5. A Prophecy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars!

_ Pale skin. Dark eyes. High cheekbones. Red lips. Black clothing. A red lightsaber. _

_ I stood in front of the mirror once more, my reflection staring back at me. Yet, it looked nothing like me. It looked more like a darker version of me. She smiled at me. Her teeth were sharp. She brought her hand up to the glass, they were covered in blood. Whose blood was it? It smeared onto the mirror, leaving a bloody handprint. She looked down at her hand, her smile turned into a smirk. Lifting her hand up, she began to write something on the glass.  _

**_You’ll turn, the prophecy has foretold of what you will become._ **

_ “What prophecy?”  _

_ She continued smirking _

**_Travel to the fallen Jedi Temple_ **

_ Banging on the glass, I let out a growl of frustration as she stood there. Mocking me. “Just tell me!” She shook her head, turned and walked away from the mirror. The black fabric of her gown fluttered behind her as she disappeared from sight.  _

* * *

Letting out a pained moan, I opened up my eyes only to be blinded by bright lights. Lifting my hand, I shielded my eyes from the light exposure, the sounds of small beeps invaded my ears. Flashes of blood and chaos appeared in my head and rushed towards me, with a loud gasp, I immediately sat up. A pain in my side caused a loud and pained hiss to leave my lips, glancing down at my body were white bandages wrapped around my chest and torso. 

“W-what?” My voice was hoarse, grimacing. I saw that there was a glass of water beside me on the small table, using the force I brought the glass into my hands and drank it greedily. 

Holding the glass in my lap, I sat in the bed and looked around to find myself in the medical room that I had been to once before when I had hesitated during training and found myself with a slight concussion. Memories of what had happened caused the anger in me to flare as I had remembered all the innocent people’s lives taken in front of me. I threw the small glass towards the wall, watching as it shattered and fell to the ground. 

_ Ferial. The Jedi Temple. A prophecy.  _

_ Dammit.  _

“I could sense your awakening on my way to check up on you,” Commander Ren stood at the door, he just wore his black uniform as he held his helmet in his hand. “Do you remember what happened?” He took long strides and stood by my bed as he raised an eyebrow in question.

“Yes, it took a few minutes for me to process everything that had happened,” clutching the blanket tightly, I looked away from him and towards the window, we were still in the castle as it was dark out, “what is our next plan of action?” 

“ _ My _ next plan of action is to find and locate that traitorous worm King Ferial.” 

“What do you mean  _ your _ next plan of action?” Snapping my gaze back to him, I watched as he merely gave me a blank stare. “Why can't I help you?” 

“You are wounded not to mention you just woke up,” he stated taking a seat in the chair next to me, his exhaustion was heavy in his eyes as his shoulders were tense and he had dark circles underneath his eyes. 

“How long have I been asleep?” 

“Two days,” his answer was immediate, “you lost a lot of blood, and the doctors recommended to put you under and have you wake up on your own.” Throwing the blankets off of me, I noticed that I was now wearing sweats with the First Order emblem on them, “what are you doing?” 

"Getting up,” swinging my body over the bed, I stood on shaky legs as I held on to the bed for support. Several minutes went by before feeling returned to my legs, sighing in relief, I grabbed the sweater that was folded on the table and put it on, feeling too exposed in front of Commander Ren, even though I was fully covered. “What has happened since that night?” 

My curiosity peaked as I wondered how many lives had been taken, how much chaos had Ferial caused to not only his people but to the First Order. This wasn’t going to be an easy clean up, as I could imagine that Supreme Leader Snoke was furious. Speaking of the Supreme Leader, I wondered if he blamed me for what had happened the other night, if he was going to punish me for my shortcomings.

“General Hux has sent several squadrons of troopers, as we will be stationed here until we have found the base and Ferial. The dead have been rounded up as well as the castle is being cleaned up, the men that had attacked are part of a large group from what General Hux had found,” I began pacing as I took in the information and processed it, chewing on my bottom lip, I ignored his stare as I thought of our new assignment.

“How many dead?” 

“Four-hundred-seventy-one, excluding the group that attacked us.” 

_ 471...That bastard will pay. _

“How many of those men?”

“Only sixty-four.” 

_ Out of those 64 men, I had killed 23.  _

The Knights and Commander Ren had finished off the rest, if that was a small group then just how many were there? I prayed that General Hux would find more information about them soon, but until then it seemed, like finding the rebel base as well as Ferial was our top priority at this moment. 

“Commander, I was wondering if I could help you take charge of this mission,” looking over, I watched as he sat up straight in his seat, he stayed silent for a couple of minutes as he stared me down.

“The Supreme Leader asked for your presence as soon as you woke up actually, he wishes to speak to you alone.” 

“I see.”

* * *

After returning to my quarters, that was surprisingly not destroyed, I had immediately changed into tight black pants, my white blouse, the black corset, and leather boots. Strapping the lightsaber to my waist, I had then tugged on my favorite black overcoat. Taking a look in the mirror, I felt relief wash over me now that I was back in my uniform rather than those ridiculous dresses the king had me wear to please his needs. 

Three Knights were waiting for me as soon as I stepped out of my quarters, acknowledging them with a nod, I began making my way towards the makeshift conference room where I was to speak to Supreme Leader Snoke. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about my meeting with him as I feared that he was going to blame me for what had happened. I wouldn’t blame him, because it was my fault in the first place if I had found out sooner, then I could have prevented all of this. 

The Knights had stopped and stood at the door along with the other three, taking a deep breath. I stepped into the room where the Supreme Leader sat on his throne in a hologram projection while Commander Ren was down on one knee as Snoke spoke to him. 

“My apprentice,” Snoke’s greeting brought a shiver down my spine as I took a knee beside Ren who glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “How is your wound? I was told that you had lost a lot of blood.” 

“That is correct,” raising my head up to look up at him, I ignored my frazzled nerves, “my wound is healing up quite nicely as a matter of fact, if it were not for Master Ren I’d have most likely perished in battle.” 

“Is this true, Ren?” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“I see, you’re dismissed.” Silently, he bowed once more, before he stood and disappeared out the double doors as I focused on the floor and not Snoke’s intense stare that bore into me like a drill. 

“I’m sorry, Supreme Leader, if only I had seduced the king quicker then this could have been avoided,” digging my nails into the palm of my hands, I bite down on my tongue hoping that whatever punishment he gave me wouldn’t ruin my chances of making my vow. 

“Stand and look at me,” swallowing the large invisible lump in my throat, cold dread slowly engulfed my body as I slowly rose to both my feet and steered my mind to comply with his demand to meet his harsh gaze. “You have come very far in your training from what I’ve heard from Ren, he deems your skills to be quite satisfactory as your training is progressing.” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” releasing my tongue, I ignored the tang of blood in my mouth but continued digging my nails into my fists. 

“How many did you kill?” 

“Twenty-three,” flashes of my lightsaber cutting them down flashed into my mind as their blood stained the ballroom floor and their corpses littering the ballroom and grounds brought a sick but twisted satisfaction deep inside of me, “I killed twenty-three men that night.” Even though he was only a mere projection, it didn’t bring me much comfort as he dug around in my mind, whether to tell if I was lying or telling the truth. I didn’t know. After several moments of silence, he pulled away as he seemed satisfied with what he found as he gave me a smirk. 

“You did, I’m impressed with your progress.” Numbly, I nodded as I relaxed my fists a bit.

“Thank you,” bowing my head down, silently I took the opportunity to take a couple of deep breaths as I tried clearing my mind and retreating to the small dark corner where I hid parts of myself from him. A small trick I had learned from my father long before I left them, boarding the command shuttle and leaving my home planet, Arth, behind. 

“You’re worried that I will punish you for what happened,” straightening my back immediately, I snapped my attention to him as he stared me down. Staying silent, I meekly met his stare as uneasiness washed over my body. “I do admit that this has caused trouble for me, but you did uncover a resistance base into his planet so you won’t be punished for this one.” 

Immediate relief washed over me as he said those words, fighting back the surge to smile. I kept my stare on him as he silently sized me up. Something he had always done since he first laid eyes on me, I found it quite disturbing. He had plans for me and they perplexed me because I couldn’t quite figure what they were yet. I did know that I had a bad feeling about the future. 

“You’re dismissed, you’ll be helping Ren with this assignment of finding that coward and the base.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

* * *

Several hours went by as I tried looking for the Resistance base, exhausted and hungry, I continued looking through the evidence of Ferial’s discrete dealings with the Republic and Resistance. He had been making weapons and selling it to them for the past year, but I couldn’t understand why he had suddenly switched sides. 

Throwing the file down into the table, I covered my face with my hands as I fought the urge to fall asleep right here in the large conference room. Pushing myself from the table, I stood and made my way over to the balcony doors as I glanced over the gardens. Closing my eyes, their bodies and screams invaded my senses as I could smell the smoke. 

“You’re tired.” 

“That’s one way of putting it.” A dark presence stood beside me on the balcony, opening my eyes, I kept my gaze on the sky as the sun slowly peeled over the horizon. “Any luck?” 

“No.” 

Commander Ren had gone into the field with a squadron of soldiers as he investigated possible places the base could be hiding. While I stayed back and looked through these files in hopes we could find more about the base, plans for the resistance, and names. Just anything to help us complete this mission, and get back to Starkiller base and resume my training and our goals. 

“I should take over the field mission for tomorrow.” 

“You’re still recovering,” biting back the snide remark that wanted to leave my lips, I merely rolled my eyes at his lack of reasoning for me going out into the field again. 

“Please, I need to be in the frontlines again. I feel useless just looking through these files, I want to do something.” 

“You could have died from your wounds, you need to take it easy until you have fully recovered, we’re not discussing this again.” Once the door had closed, I let out an annoyed sigh as I was once again alone in the room.

_ He is such a prick sometimes. _

* * *

The next couple of days had been uneventful as Commander Ren had me continue going over the files, with the occasional check up with the stormtroopers. As they had been going to the cities and looking for any suspicious behavior, at this rate we won’t find anything. Commander Ren was beginning to lose his already thin patience as we had yet to find anything regarding this assignment. He’s been throwing more tantrums lately as I know stress, exhaustion, and hunger ate at him as he had thrown himself headfirst into this mission. It wasn’t like I was much better though, I was neglecting my own health to find Ferial as my anger fueled me to continue looking for the odious man. 

“Commander Marinette, we have found something,” standing from my seat I didn’t hesitate to follow the stormtrooper as he led me towards the large throne room where a young woman, binded at her wrists stared at me with hatred but curiosity.

“Who is she?” 

“We found her here in one of the smaller cities, we’ve been watching her all day. She has been acting suspicious all day and has been entering this bar several times throughout the day with packages.” 

“Where is Commander Ren?” The woman trembled at the mere mention of his name as she suddenly looked panicked, as I could feel her fear through the force, she didn’t look to be an average citizen as she wore dark brown pants, tan boots and a cream colored shirt. 

“He’s still out in the field with squadrons six and nine.” 

“Take her to the interrogation room and strap her to the chair, Commander Ren will deal with the woman once he gets back.” 

“Yes, Commander!” The stormtroopers picked her up and dragged her away from the room, she was silent as she had clenched her jaw, levelling me with a dirty look. 

“Inform me once Commander Ren returns immediately.” Walking away from the stormtroopers, I made my way back to the conference room knowing that once he got back he’d want a full report on the last of the files I had yet to review.

* * *

“Commander Ren, I have finished looking over the files and I believe that I have found a pattern regarding Ferial’s discretions as well as the fact that I have found evidence that he is not just associated with the Republic but he is working against them as well,” handing him the datapad, I watched as he skimmed through it.

“So he’s a double agent, this doesn’t make sense.” Nodding, I took my seat at the table as I let out a tired sigh, the last few days had taken a toll on me as I had yet to rest. I’d been going over a year’s worth of reports that Ferial had kept in order to keep record of the deals he had been making as well as a record of every weapon he had made and sold. “What is he playing at?”

“I believe that he has some sort of plan, I don’t know what that plan is but I do know that he’s a lot smarter than we give him credit for. Also, the troopers have found a woman who has been exhibiting some suspicious behavior as of late, I had them take her to the interrogation room until you returned for you to deal with our next course of action.” He set the datapad down on the table as he looked over at me with a glint in his eye.

“Good work, Commander,” biting back a large yawn, I gave him a small smile as I stood from the table, “you will join me on the frontlines once I deal with the prisoner, in the meantime, get some rest.” 

“Commande-”

He sighed, “Please don’t argue with me for once.” 

“Yes, Commander,” quirking a smile, I picked up the datapad as I made my way out of the room leaving him to deal with the information I had given. We were both under extreme stress wanting to get this matter dealt with as soon as possible, as we both wanted to go back to our original tasks at hand. 

* * *

**Originally Published: January 2nd, 2016**

**Edited Date: June 12th, 2020**


	6. He is such a prick sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars!

Commander Ren insisted that I take squadrons four and five with me to scout through the rainforests for the resistance base. He would be following me shortly as he still had matters to attend to regarding personal business with Supreme Leader Snoke. We had been hiking through the creature infested terrain for about two hours now and still no signs of a base or anything else. Huffing, I could hear the stormtroopers grumble and complain about being hot, I didn’t blame them as they were wearing their heavy and hot uniforms in the jungle. Luckily I had changed into black pants, a button up dark green shirt that I had tied up underneath my chest and black boots that were now caked with mud. 

“Commander Ren wishes to speak with you,” stopping in my tracks, the stormtrooper who spoke handed me the small device as Commander Ren appeared dressed in his usual attire. 

_ No surprise there.  _

“Commander Mari, have you made it to the checkpoint yet?” 

“No, we are almost there. We had a small run in with the native species A’jgi,” thinking back to not even half an hour ago of the surprise attack made me shiver slightly, shaking my head of the thought, I focused my attention back on him who had raised an eyebrow at my actions.

“We had the same problem as well,” coughing, I bit back the laugh that wanted to come out as I watched him narrow his eyes at me, “did  _ you _ lose any troopers?” 

“No, have  _ you _ ?” 

“I lost two,” was all he said which caused me to smirk, he saw this and narrowed his eyes on me again. Not even bothering to try and contain the laughter that wanted to leave my mouth I stood there laughing as he looked at me with a dead stare waiting for me to finish my fit of laughter, “are you done?”

“Looks like the  _ apprentice _ is becoming the  _ Master _ , feel old yet?” 

“You’re only four years younger than me,” he was very  _ unamused  _ by my antics.

“I could probably make it to the checkpoint before you could without losing a single trooper,” I challenged with a teasing smile, a dangerous glint in his eye appeared as a smirk made its way on his face.

“Are you challenging me, my  _ apprentice _ ?” 

“ _ Master _ , how dare you think that I would ever do such a thing!” Fake gasping I brought a hand to my chest in a wounded manner knowing that he was getting excited at the thought of the challenge I had presented to him, “ _ I would never dare to challenge my Master to such a small task that he could easily win, _ ” he smirked at this.

_ Rule number 1: If you want a man to do something, all you have to do is stroke their ego as you challenge them, that way they think that they are doing you a favor. _

“I accept your challenge, this will help you improve your skills in the field,” was all he said before the call was cut off, stuffing the device in my back pocket, I turned back to the small group of twenty stormtroopers as they all waited for my next instruction. 

“We will continue the pace we are going but keep a wary eye on your surroundings,” with a smile, we continued walking with them behind me silently as I watched my surroundings in the monster infested forest. Huffing, I ignored the various animal calls in the distance as I used the force to check my surroundings for anything that could attack us and most likely kill us. 

* * *

“Looks like I won, Master,” I teased as I sat on the large crate as he walked into the clearing, he carried his mask in his hand as he held a look of annoyance on his face, “it must be hard to be so old,” his annoyance grew which caused me to smirk internally.

“I can easily force you to go back to the castle and have you go through paperwork,” he walked into his large white tent as I followed him inside.

“You could,” I took a seat on the large table as I swung my legs back and forth, “but the Supreme Leader has ordered for me to work alongside you on this assignment.” 

He turned to me as he set his helmet down on the table I was sitting on, he merely stared at me before he ran a hand through his hair as he looked over at the map. 

“Commander Ren, Commander Mari,” she greeted politely, “General Hux wishes to speak to you both immediately as possible.” A low ranking officer walked in as she bowed her head to the both of us, Kylo gave her a firm nod as she handed him the small device before leaving the tent quickly.

“I have found more information regarding the king, after looking over what Commander Mari has found when looking through his records. King Ferial is working for a third party as he was double crossing both the Republic and The First Order,” Commander Ren and I shared a look before turning back to General Hux, “he was selling First Order and Resistance weapons to this third party as well as gathering intel for them.”

“Does this third party have a name?” General Hux turned towards me with a brief nod.

“All we could find were the initials T.A.” Placing my hands on my hips, I began pacing as I rolled the initials over in my head as it sounded familiar, I felt as though I had heard about them before but I couldn’t remember when though. “We are still looking for more information as I will immediately notify both of you for any new updates.” 

“Thank you for the information, General,” I stopped my pacing as I smiled at him, he smiled back at me with respect in his eyes.

“You’re welcome, Commander Mari,” the call ended, leaving the two of us to think about the new information we were given.

We spent the next two hours resting as we discussed what our next course of action was, given the new information we were told. I was distracted though as he was talking to me, as the initials continued to plague my thoughts, I didn’t know where I had heard them as it seemed like a very long time ago. 

“ _ Commander! _ ” Snapping my eyes open, I looked up from my lap to find Commander Ren with a narrowed look as he had his fist slammed into the table, causing a huge dent to appear. “Are there more important things that need your attention at this very moment?” 

“I’m sorry, those initials just keep replaying in my head. I’ve heard them before but I just don’t remember when and who had told me about them,” standing from my seat I walked to the entrance of the tent to see it was becoming noon already.

“I see, you need to meditate that way you could delve through your subconscious and look for those memories,” snapping my head towards him, I knew I wore a confused expression as he continued, “this is why you are my apprentice as you still have much to learn about the force and how to use it.” 

“I understand.” 

“You will be departing shortly into the northeastern section of the rainforest as we have been receiving strange radio frequencies from that area. You will be taking only eight stormtroopers with you on this mission as it is an information retrieval mission.” 

“Yes, Commander, is there anything else?” Picking up a device he walked around the large table and handed it to me.

“Download any information you find in this chip and it will be sent to me immediately,” taking the small chip, I put it in my pocket as I never broke my gaze from him as he stared down at me silently. Keeping up the intense staring contest with him, I wondered what it would be like to be in his head. His external self was very reckless, calculating, and arrogant but that didn’t mean his mind was the same way. “I suggest you change before you depart as you reek of sweat,” he turned away as he walked back towards the table and scanned the map.

_ Arrogant prick. _

“You’re just upset that you lost to somebody who is a lot smarter than you,” I quickly stated leaving the tent, as I could feel his irritation become annoyance and made my way towards my own as I had only less than two hours to prepare for this information retrieval assignment. 

* * *

Panting, I deactivated my lightsaber as the large tree fell from it’s stump and fell towards the ground. Using the force, I placed it on the ground gently as I didn’t want it to cause too much commotion in the jungle and alert the base, if there was one, of the First Order being here. 

I had left the stormtroopers to set up a small camp in a clearing we had found for the night as I decided to scout ahead. We’d been trudging through the jungle for the last several hours as we had yet to find the base, and the sun was beginning to set as well as it was already almost dark. We had yet to encounter the base, or any other life form, which had me on guard as the sounds of the creatures were becoming quieter and quieter. The deeper we got into the forest, the quieter it became, which had me really worried as I was following a map that was incomplete. I could be walking into an A’jgi nest for all I knew and I’d be dead before I could register that fact. Stepping over a fallen tree branch, I debated on whether to use my lightsaber to light the darkening path as I was scared to run into a wandering resistance member. Grumbling, I just activated the blade and continued walking until I heard a roar of water invade my ears. Quickening my pace, I watched as a huge waterfall came into view. 

_ A bath sounds amazing right now... I need to focus! _

Shaking my head, I saw several lights at the mouth of the waterfall but I was too low and too far to make anything out. Deactivating my lightsaber, I used the binoculars I had packed, as I watched as men and women walked about in several varieties of uniforms but the one thing they had in common was the Resistance emblem on the sleeve of the arm. 

Cheering at the fact I had finally found the kriffing base, I pulled out the small communication device. It flickered to life as Commander Ren had appeared dressed in just black pants, boots and his tunic, he looked beyond exhausted. Just like me. 

“I found the base.” Relief flooded his senses at the sound of the news I had given him, “I had the stormtroopers camp nearby as I plan on waiting to infiltrate their base to get the information we need.” 

“Be careful, we can’t afford for them to catch you and the First Order on this planet.” 

“I understand, Commander.” 

“Good, once you have retrieved the information and made it back here, the base will result in ashes.” 

“Yes, Commander.”

“I’ll inform the Supreme Leader of your progress.” 

With that, the communication was cut off, moving a distance away from the base and out of sight. I dropped the small bag I had brought with me and leaned my back up against the large boulder. The sky had gone completely dark as the only light came from the moon and the thousands of stars that stretched across the midnight blue sky. 

_ I miss Arth… my parents… _

The one thing I enjoyed back on my home planet was the silent and cool nights under a large tree on the hill as I often sat under the stars. I’d spend hours staring and wondering what it would be like to leave and explore other words I couldn’t dream of knowing in my wildest dreams. My parents knew I never wanted to stay on Arth for as long as I did, they knew my heart longed to leave and explore the galaxy. Several opportunities presented themselves to me where I could leave all that behind but I knew that it was dangerous, with my force sensitivity I knew that if I were to let my guard down even for a second. I’d have both the Resistance and the First Order breathing down my back, which would then leave me with only three options. Join the Resistance. Join the First Order. Or go into hiding like the infamous General Obi-Wan Kenobi after the rise of Darth Vader and the fall of Anakin Skywalker. Both were exceptionally trained, intelligent, and resourceful Jedis. 

Which didn’t seem like such a bad idea but at the same time, that wasn’t a life I wanted to live as I wanted to see worlds. Not hide away from them in fear of being caught, yet I had done just that when I made the decision and never left. If I hadn’t made the deal with Commander Ren, I don’t think I would have ever had the courage to leave the safety of my parents, the safety of my home. I wonder if this was how Obi-Wan had felt when he went into hiding as he exiled himself on the hot and sandy planet of Tatooine. 

* * *

After several hours of waiting until twilight, I had purposely ripped open my hearing wound and used the hurt and distressed victim act as I stumbled into the base. Being the Resistance, they were trusting as they had me sent to their small medical room, I memorized all the rooms we had passed as a way to get a good view of the layout. After they dressed my wounds, they had asked me what had happened to cause me to be in such a condition. With fake tears, I gave them a bogus story about how I was wanting to explore the jungle before being attacked and injured by some A’jgi. 

Of course, they had bought the sob story and left me alone to rest in the medical bay as they went about their duties. While they were distracted by the story I had told them, I had used the small trick Commander Ren had given me and infiltrated their minds to find their command room. Which turns out wasn’t too far from the hanger. All I had to do now was wait for the right opportunity to leave and complete the mission I was given. I was just glad that I was still a nobody as nobody in the galaxy knew about me, except everybody on Starkiller base and that slimeball Ferial. 

Placing a small bomb underneath the large table in the command room, I had gotten what I needed as all I had to do now was leave the base, get back to camp, and then back to the checkpoint. Hearing a soft ding, I snapped my head towards it to see that the significant information had been downloaded onto the small chip. Grabbing it, I slipped the small device into my pocket and left in great haste before I was caught and killed or worse...taken prisoner. 

“I acquired the information,” running down several corridors I held the device in my hand as Commander Ren hadn’t answered, which meant he was occupied with other business. “I have placed several bombs around the base as well as I had also shut down their communications system in case they were to try to alert anybody for help.” 

I had almost made it out of the base before I was met with a pilot dressed in an orange suit, he gave me a confused look as I skidded to a stop. He placed a hand on his blaster as he quickly pulled it out. Waving my hand in the air, I forced him into unconsciousness as I watched his eyes close and his body crumple to the ground. Just like Commander Ren had shown me. Another trick he had taught me not too long ago. 

_ The same trick he used on me when he took me from my family, from my home planet... _

* * *

The assignment was a success as not long after I set foot back at the checkpoint did I activate the bombs, we could see the explosion in the distance. I should have felt remorse for blowing up the base, for taking so many lives. Yet. All I could hear was the whispers again, they were a bit louder than last time. My thoughts began to drift back to the prophecy.  **No.** Shaking my head, I pushed those feelings away as I tried ignoring the whispers. Just like when I had killed those two stormtroopers, and the twenty three men I had killed that night. Making my way to my tent, I grimaced once I saw my reflection in the mirror. Ignoring it, I dropped my bag down and flopped into a chair before a pained hiss left my lips as I had forgotten about the pain in my side. I had purposely reopened my wound to sell my story and now it would take even longer to heal after I had ripped open the stitches. 

“You should take care of that before you get an infection or worse bleed out,” ignoring his comment, I lifted my shirt and tied it up underneath my bra. Peeling the bandage back, another grimace left my lips as blood began to trail down my stomach sickeningly slow as it sunk into my pants.  _ At this rate, it’ll be an ugly scar.  _ “Let me help you.”

“I can do it,” it was true, I had sewn up plenty of people back home but I had never sewn myself up before as I had never received these kinds of injuries. 

“Must you always argue with me?” 

_ It’s fun. _

He made me lay on the small bed that I had as he had immediately gone to work and stitched my wound back up. Forcing myself to ignore his large rough hands on my side was difficult as I felt everywhere he touched me light up. Chewing on my bottom lip, I shivered in delight but he must have taken it as pain as he gave me an apologetic glance. The silence was stifling between us, it bugged me as I wanted to make a comment but instead, I bit my tongue and watched as the sun peaked over the horizon slowly. 

My thoughts drifted to the past two weeks' events, as well as several emotions had soared through me but the most prominent emotion was rage. Rage at the fact that it was my fault we were in this situation in the first place, rage at the fact that a slimeball like Ferial was still alive and breathing while his people were brutally killed in gruesome ways. 

_ The bastard would pay and I will be the one to take his life.  _

“Take it easy or I’ll talk with the Supreme Leader and request that you be put on bed rest,” he pulled his hands away as they were covered in blood, my blood. “You should clean yourself up as we will be going back to the castle in an hour,” standing, he walked over to the small water basin.

“T-thank you, Commander Ren.” 

“When it’s just us please drop the Commander part,” sitting up carefully from the cot, I ignored the dull ache in my side, “we’re constantly together for you to keep calling me by my formal title, so when it’s just the two of us call me Kylo.” 

“Just as long as you call me Marinette,” pausing, I watched him dry his hands on the towel, “just like you did when I had collapsed.” He stiffened slightly.

“You heard that?”

“Of course,” a small laugh left my lips, “I heard you called my name out as well as I know that you caught me and I wanted to thank you for saving me.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I used the technique you taught me when I was leaving the Resistance base, the one where you make the person unconscious.” 

“I’m assuming it was successful then?” 

“It was, but it makes me even more curious about what else I could do with the force.”

“There is still a lot for you to learn and I will teach you as you have a lot of potential to become a great warrior.” 

“I’m pretty sure that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me,” cracking a smile, he rolled his eyes at me as he walked over to the table where I had set the chip down.

“Is this the information?” 

“Yes, when I was downloading it I saw that they had two other locations of bases on record but neither of the two are the main bases.” 

“Regardless, you did well on your assignment,” setting the chip back down, he leaned against the table.

Making my way towards the sink, I took the wet rag from the basin and began to clean off the blood that was beginning to dry on my skin, he stayed silent as I could feel him watching my actions. The atmosphere shifted between us to a more friendly one, as we just stared at each other after I finished what I was doing. In the three months I had been here, never did we talk about anything other than my training, assignments and missions. Our relationship had always been professional as we were both apprentices to Supreme Leader Snoke, we served The First Order and nothing else. 

_ Then why can I hear my heart beating in my ears? _

* * *

**Originally published: January 5th, 2016**

**Edited: June 12th, 2020**


	7. By the power of the Darkside, I will not fail

_Nightmares._

_They were nasty little things._

I haven’t had them since I was sixteen, they were always so violent and detailed, yet so vague when it came to the much larger picture. Since as long as I could remember I have been able to see things that weren’t there. A small boy turned to a man after years of watching him grow up, a temple covered in blood and fire, and other things I dare not try to remember as it was too painful. My parents were afraid for me as they didn’t know how to help, and were scared for me as I’d wake up screaming from the realistic nightmare, for several agonizing months I had the same nightmare. 

Then for two very blissful years the hellish dreams had stopped, leaving me in a content state. But I was too naive to think that they wouldn’t come back, as they had started happening again when I was eighteen. It was during a late night session of training I had found myself transported to the dream, except it wasn’t a dream as I was wide awake training in the woods with my Dad. Usually I would wake up crying and screaming as I watched a temple burn. I’d feel pain, I’d hear the screams and cries of people being killed by masked individuals. To this day, they still haunt me. I’d see flashes of blood, death, fire and ruin, they felt so real as I would wake up covered in sweat and the smell of smoke. It’s like I was actually there whenever I watched the huge ancient structure become consumed in flames. I’d be off standing on a hill as I watched it burn, unable to move and do something about it. Yet that fateful day I had actually managed to move, my legs carried me to the huge temple where I had found an old man on his knees as he stared in horror. 

_This was different though_.

As instead of it being hot from the fire, from the smell of smoke and the flames dancing too close to my skin. It was cold, as we were on a snowy planet as the cold licked my skin and I could feel a dull ache in my shoulder blade. Flashes of smoke, blood, fire, snow and death plagued my mind. Kylo was dressed in all black, his helmet gone, he was heavily wounded and conflicted but there was resolve in his steps. There was a large puddle of blood seeping into the snow, it wasn’t his blood though, no it was my own. Rage and passion consumed him as he fought a man, the man’s face was blurry as he challenged Kylo to a duel. 

Short and frightening moments caused whimpers to turn into heavy pants before they became screams as I watched Kylo be forced into submission. Covered in blood, sweat and grime he glared at the man as he held onto his bleeding wound as deep hatred filled his eyes. Glimpses of my lightsaber and Kylo’s fighting one another in a heated battle. Being stabbed. Blood spilt into the snow. A dance in the moonlight with Kylo. A young man with a blue lightsaber. A blood vow. I wore a black and red dress as the entire First Order watched me make a vow. A full scale war. Hushed whispers and secrets rendezvous. Secret promises. A large wedding. Diamonds and crowns. A large kingdom. I sat on a throne with Kylo beside me. Kyber crystals. The fallen Jedi Temple. Naboo. A nasty bit beautiful scar ran along Kylo’s face. Dying. 

Sitting up in the sweat soaked bed sheets, my breathing was coming out short and heavy as sweat ran down my forehead. Confusion and fear swallowed me as I shakingly got out of bed, bringing a hand to my mouth, I swallowed the bile that threatened to build up in my throat. 

_It was so realistic, the nightmare... it felt like they were going to happen. That’s impossible though, it was just a hellish nightmare. What if it wasn’t though? What if they were fragments of the future that was to come? Kriff, I sound like a madwoman._

Getting out of bed, I walked out onto the balcony to find that it was merely two hours past twilight. I couldn’t go back to sleep tonight, not after whatever I just went through. No. Moving to the bathroom, I changed and made my way to the training room with my lightsaber in hand. Passing a maid in the quiet corridor, I asked her to change my sheets to which she smiled and disappeared down the hall. 

* * *

Glaring down at the now demolished dummy, my lightsaber giving off a soft hum and my heavy breathing filled the large room. Blood rushing filled my ears as I still felt unsatisfied, I was still feeling so much as I was growing restless. It’s been three days since those nightmares, and since then I haven’t brought myself to try and sleep again. All my pent up emotions were bringing me to become restless not to mention I was becoming irritable and out of control. Just today I had thrown a stormtrooper out of the conference room just to tell me that General Hux needed to speak with me asking for any updates. Those whispers continued to grow louder as I could feel a small pressure in the middle of my temple. It was a sharp stab, as if I were being stabbed with a large needle. 

Since that night, the night I had collapsed after helping Kylo and his Knights kill the rest of the mercenaries, something had shifted between us. The force had brought us together in a way where we could still feel each other's emotions and feelings even if we had our mental shields up. The night I had awakened from my wounds things had changed, I hadn’t noticed until after my meeting with Snoke. A new found trust and respect was set in between the both of us as we saw each other on a much more intimate level. Kylo had checked on me whenever I had spent the next few days taking it easy, checked to make sure that I was healing just fine like the medical droid had expected. He had slipped through my defenses, my mental walls as I had let them down due to the fact that I was still weak as I worked on my recovery. 

I never brought it up as I knew if I did, it would go either one or two different ways. He’d either become closed up and avoid me or he would deny it and avoid me. Either way he’d avoid me, and I didn’t want that, he was my fellow apprentice, my commander, and my master. We both didn’t need more complications to get in the way of our complicated but simple relationship or whatever the hell we were. There was too much tension between Kylo and I, as we were always making off handed remarks towards one another. We were always threatening to kill one another as we could feel the force between us become hostile. Both of us knew that we were spending too much time with one another, as we were dancing around the problem. The problem being that it was my fault for what had happened, that I was the cause of him being away from his true mission. The nightmares were driving a wedge between Kylo and I, we both felt the wedge drive us apart from one another. We took one step closer in our whatever you could call it, but it had taken us two steps back. 

Letting out a frustrated scream I threw my lightsaber across the room only for it to stop in mid air and started flying toward me. Ducking, I looked towards the doors to see that Kylo stood there with an amused expression dressed in his workout attire. 

He raised an eyebrow in a silent question asking me, “are you done?” As he caught my lightsaber as it flew back into his grip.

“Give me my lightsaber back and leave me alone, Kylo,” walking towards me, he stopped only two feet in front of me as he looked down at me with an amused expression, “you’re bothering me and I wish for you to go pester somebody else.”

“Are you really trying to order me around?” His right eye was beginning to twitch. 

“I don’t know? Am I?” 

“That’s a lot of attitude coming from a foolish little girl who can’t even control her emotions,” he snapped as he was no longer amused.

Did he just call me a _foolish little girl?_

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black,” the next second I knew was he had me pinned against the ground with a dark look in his eye as he stared down at me, his knees bent on either side of my hips as his face was close to mine, “you’re constantly throwing tantrums like a child would, it’s a wonder how people even put up with you.” I spat. 

“I’ve put up with that nasty attitude of yours the past few days, you are making my patience run very thin already,” he growled as he tightened his hands around both of my wrists, “I suggest you change it pretty quick for your sake.” Snorting I glared back at him as I clenched my jaw. 

“I put up with you on a daily basis, why don’t you change yours and then I’ll consider changing mine.” 

I was asking to get killed as I continued arguing with Kylo, the last two weeks had caused us to become stressed and easily angered. Then the past three days weren’t helping as I had been snapping at everybody, even Kylo Ren himself. The last three days we were spending every waking minute together as we continued our search for Ferial, and more information on this mysterious T.A. We were both past the point of formalities as we were constantly at each other’s throats with every single little thing. Constantly making jabs and snippy remarks to one another when something went wrong, another reason why I couldn’t sleep. We were both getting frustrated with this assignment as we wanted to return to Starkiller and resume our original tasks. 

“ _Marinette, I’m not asking,_ ” he squeezed my wrists tightly as he tried to scare me into submitting to his demand.

“ _I wasn’t asking either, Kylo,_ ” struggling to fight his hold I glared at the looming dark figure that pinned me harshly to the ground, “ _now let go of me dammit!_ ” Hissing at him, I brought my knee up and jabbed him in the stomach causing his hold to falter for a brief second but that was all I needed as I rolled out from underneath him.

Using the force, I summoned my lightsaber to my hand that he had dropped onto the floor as well as his own, standing in a stance the white blade breathed to life as it hummed and vibrated softly in my tight grip. Whereas Kylo’s lightsaber, bright red and angry crackled dangerously to life as he took a stance similar to mine. Glaring at one another we circled the large mat as we silently battled one another, our breathing was matched as was our stares. The only question was who was going to make the first move, I knew it would be Kylo as his attacks were angry, violent, and passionate, whereas mine were calm, thoughtful, but just as passionate as his were. 

He lunged at me, sidestepping, I barely managed to get out of the way in time as his lightsaber stabbed into the dummy. Growling in frustration, we fought each other as our blades seared when they made contact with one another, our breathing coming out as short bursts of air, our lack of sleep making our movements slower and weak. Sweat dripped from my forehead as I force jumped out of the way as he had almost struck me for the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes. Kylo used his weight behind his attacks, shaking the sleep out of my eyes. I force jumped out of the way as his own movements were becoming just sloppy as mine were, deactivating my lightsaber, I realized this was going nowhere as I didn’t even know how long we were even fighting for. Tossing it to the side, Kylo followed my actions as he had followed my line of thinking as we stared each other down from either side of the mat. 

“Ready to give up?” 

“You wish, you arrogant prick,” the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could even think, his eye twitched before he shot me a dirty look.

“Respect your superior.”

“Funny, because I don’t see one.” 

“ _Marinette._ ” 

“ _Kylo._ ”

“ _I will not take your disobedience, you will submit to me one way or another,_ ” the way he had said it brought a shiver down my spine and made my insides churn, completely ignoring the dark gleam in his eyes I leveled him with a glare.

“I’d like to see you try that.” 

“Is this another _challenge_?” 

“Is it?” Sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I straightened my back, staring him down. I didn’t expect him to walk towards me. Like a panther stalking towards its prey. Feigning confidence, I ignored my rapidly beating heart and the tingles I was beginning to feel in my lower abdomen. 

“You’ll submit whether you like it or not,” hooking his leg behind mine, he pinned me to the floor once more as he caged me between him and the floor. His hands were on either side of my face and his knees on both sides of my hips. 

The atmosphere in the large training room did a complete three hundred and sixty degrees from hostility to something more _sinister_ , more _dark_ , and more _primal_ . Our chests rose up and down as we glared at one another, but we could both feel the tension between us. You’d have to be a complete idiot to not notice the attraction between the two of us, but the sobering thought was the fact that relationships weren’t allowed. **_Attachments weren’t allowed._ ** Yet, with our breaths mingling together, my mind became clouded in a haze as my body temperature went up a hundred degrees. 

“ _Foolish little girl,_ ” he snarled as he pushed himself off of me and stalked out of the training room without even sparing another glance back, letting out a shaky breath, I tried to calm my racing heart as I wondered what the hell just happened.

“ _Arrogant prick._ ”

* * *

Another week went by since the whole incident in the training room, Kylo and I rarely spoke to one another as we avoided each other at all costs. Everyone noticed the tension between the both of us whenever we were in the same room together, especially on how we talked with one another as they were always short and straight to the point responses. To be quite frank, I honestly didn’t know what had happened between the two of us that night as it seemed like we were dancing around a bigger problem. 

Shaking my head of those thoughts, I pushed them away to the back of my mind as I made my way to the meeting room where Kylo and I were to have a meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke and General Hux on our next course of action regarding the information I had collected on my solo mission. The Knights of Ren and Kylo stood in front of the doors as they guarded the doors while Kylo was waiting for me, that way we would walk in together. Snapping their heads towards me, they stared at me behind their masks before looking away. 

“You’re late,” he stated in a tired and irritated tone, “what took you so long?” 

“I was meditating,” wearing his mask gave me no indication of what he was feeling as his eyes gave way to all his emotions, “you should try it sometime and maybe that stick up your ass wouldn’t make you so uptight.” Brushing past him, the doors immediately opened as we walked into the room side by side where the Supreme Leader sat on his throne through a projection as General Hux stood facing him as well through a projection.

“Supreme Leader,” stopping beside the General, he had his usual stoic expression and tense body language as Kylo took my right side.

“Congratulations, you have found and retrieved information on the Resistance,” he complimented as he stared at me intensely, “your training will be put on hold as you will be going undercover and infiltrate the Resistance base,” swallowing my saliva, I nodded numbly as many scenarios were going through my mind at how I could mess this up like with King Ferial.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader,” he nodded his head before he turned to Kylo, who stood tall and proud as he kept his steady gaze on our leader.

“You will be travelling to one of the bases as Marinette will be travelling to the other one, General Hux will be travelling to your location once this meeting is over and will take over things while you’re gone.” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” we all said simultaneously which caused us to all glance at each other before turning back to our fierce leader. 

“You will be departing tonight, your assignments have already been sent to the both of you,” he leaned towards us in his seat as he glared at the three of us harshly, “ _if you fail, you will face my wrath,_ ” he spat out. 

“By the power of the dark side, I will not fail,” confidence laced my words as he gave me a satisfied smile before leaning back into his throne.

“See to it that she has everything she needs, General,” Snoke turned his gaze back to the General with a bored look as General Hux nodded stiffly. 

“I’ll see to that immediately.” He straightened his posture “I’ll be there in exactly three hours,” General Hux bowed his head towards the Supreme leader before the projection had disappeared leaving Kylo and I with our leader.

“Master Ren,” he started as he turned his heavy gaze to the raven haired male next to me, “I ask that you and your apprentice fix whatever tension that is going on between you,” he had a glimmer in his eye “I can feel it from my own ship,” he stated as he glanced over at me briefly before turning back to him.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” 

With that we were both left in silence as we stood in the small makeshift communication chamber. My new mission is going to be going behind enemy defenses pretending to be one of their own. For how long? I didn’t know, but what I did know was that I had a lot of acting to do. A lot of lies to tell. 

“I’ll see you before I depart,” I glanced at him briefly before looking away as I stared at the throne that sat in the room. 

* * *

**Edited date: June 12th, 2020**


	8. You will submit to me one way or another

Refusing to be anywhere near Kylo any longer, I turned on my heel and quickly left him in the empty room, as I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Unfortunately for me, he had other ideas as he caught up with me easily enough as we both walked out of the meeting room together, the Knights followed behind us. 

“Commander Mari.” 

“No.” 

Turning the corner, I was making my way towards my chambers to get ready and prepare for my new mission. Fate had other plans though, as I was grabbed and thrusted into an empty room. And by fate, I really mean  _ Kylo kriffing Ren _ . Slamming me against the wall, he caged me so I couldn’t escape the confrontation I desperately wanted to avoid. 

“We need to talk.” 

“I don’t want to talk to you,” several moments of silence passed as we just stared at each other without any words being expressed. Our gazes locked in an intense staring contest, our chests pressed tightly against one another as that warm tingly feeling returned. Pushing that ardent feeling away, I focused on calming my breathing as I was confused at how he managed to make me act weird. 

“ _ Please.” _ Shock must have been written all over my face as he let out a soft chuckle.

“D-did you just say please?” He didn’t say anything.

Puffing out my cheeks, I relented and decided to hear him out since he used his good boy manners. Suppressing a giggle from the thought, I gave him a slight nod.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior.” 

Kylo looked like he’d rather listen to General Hux talk about his cat Millicent then apologize for his rude behavior. Stifling a smile, I watched as he clenched his jaw as he stared down at me with regret and guilt, I almost felt bad. Keyword:  _ almost _ . 

“What are you apologizing for?” His eye twitched again as he snorted, he didn’t like this one bit. That almost made me smile. Again, keyword:  _ almost. _

“I apologize for being very critical to you, you’re my apprentice and I shouldn’t be upset when you make mistakes. Especially since you had just learned the trick, I just want you to reach your full potential,” his voice dropped several octaves that brought a small shiver down my spine.

“Thank you for apologizing, I appreciate that you saw the error of your ways.” Smiling, I continued, “but I was also out of line, you are my master and I should respect you as such. For that I’m deeply sorry for my childish behavior,” a small smile made its way to his face as he dropped my wrists and patted me on the head as he stared at me with pride. “Actually, M-Master, I wish to talk to you about something. It’s a question about the force and it’s been concerning me and I’m scared that if it is true then I could end up dying,” his expression turned into one of confusion, concern and anger all mixed into one as he gestured for me to follow him to his own chambers. 

  
  


For an hour Kylo had stayed silent as he listened to me tell him about the nightmares I had when I was sixteen and how they had returned when I was eighteen. His eyes had drifted off into the distance when I had finished my story, for several tense minutes he had stood there on the balcony as he held onto the metal railing tightly. His shoulders were drawn together as he was tense, guilt swirled in me as I knew he was already dealing with a lot. I didn’t want to add another silly little problem to his workload. 

With a hesitating sigh, I continued as I had told him about the new nightmare I had as it contained him and me, I told him every single detail. That the dream had shaken me up and was the reason for my attitude the past week and a half. I excluded telling him about the flashes of him and I, as I was too embarrassed that if they were just dreams then I’d be admitting I had fantasized about him at night. I debated on telling him about the dreams about the mysterious man and what my reflection had told me. The other me had said. He would probably just laugh anyway, or make me feel as though I was a freak. Just telling him about the dream was me having to trust that he would help me, to put my trust into him that he would care. 

Once again he had stayed silent, but this time he turned towards me as I sat in the chair that was also on the balcony along with a small table. Nervously, I rubbed my palms up and down my thighs, he caught this as his gaze flicked down to my legs and then back towards me. 

“The dream you had when you were sixteen, that nightmare you had described was actually a force vision of the future. At least a possibility of it,” he started, “when you started getting the vision again, it was because something had changed in the force. Thus the vision came to fruition and became a reality that you had watched because of your strong connection to the force.” 

“How do you know it’s a reality?” His jaw clenched, as well as his leather gloved fists had clenched as well, I could feel so much from him as he averted his gaze from me.

“I know it’s a reality because I was there when it happened,” with wide eyes I stared at him, “I had burned the Jedi temple down and along with the Knights. As I had slaughtered the other padawans, and took the ones who didn’t want to die as they joined the dark side.” 

“K-kylo…”

“That old man you saw was my uncle, Luke Skywalker.”

_ Luke Skywalker.  _

I knew about Luke Skywalker, as he was a Jedi Master but before that he was just a Jedi in training and had teamed up along with Princess Leia and a rogue smuggler named Han Solo. Along with others, they had taken down the Empire and Darth Vader, their father. Wait- if Kylo Ren is the nephew of Luke, then that means that he is Princess Leia and Han Solo’s child. As well as the grandson of Darth Vader…

His mother was the General of the Resistance, she led the rebellion even back then. So what caused the strong Jedi to leave the light side and join the dark side? The pieces of his origin fell together but it only showed me a part of the story, I wanted to see the whole picture and how he had turned from the light side to the dark side. Curiosity burned in me as I wished to know more about the Master of the Knights of Ren. This wasn’t the time though, as I still had more pressing concerns like my death at the front of my mind. These questions could wait another day, as I needed to have answers. 

“So if it was a force vision, then does that mean that the ‘dream’ I had was a force vision as well and that I am going to die?” 

The thought of dying irked me a bit, not because I was dying. I wasn’t scared to die actually, what made fear consume my entire being was the fact I had to watch myself die over and over again. Night after night I had to watch it, so after the third night I had refused to sleep and instead, trained in the training room to get my mind off of it. 

Kylo’s gaze was intense as I felt him burn a hole into me, he moved towards me and stopped a foot away as he crouched down in front of me. Taking my hands in his large ones he held them as if I were going to disappear right in front of him. A touch of fear was what I sensed under his resolve and pride, it was barely there but I could still feel it as clear as day.

“That’s not going to happen, it was a force vision,” was all he said and for some reason that brought me immense comfort, “I told you that first day that you would be at my side at all times. So don’t think you can get out of it by some ridiculous vision, I will take care of this.” 

_ At my side at all times.  _

_ He had told me that almost six months ago... has it really been that long since I made that deal with him? Since I signed my soul away to him to free my parents and the people I was to inherit after my father stepped down?  _

“What if it’s already too late? What if I do end up dying?” His eyes hardened as rage filled his being, it wasn’t directed at me though. No... this was different, it was more directed towards himself. Gripping my hands tightly, he grabbed my face and forced me to stare at him as our faces were mere inches from each other.

“Listen to me, as I’m only saying this once,” his voice had gotten deeper, pushing away the weird feeling in my heart I focused on him, “ _ you belong to me _ , you will not die unless I give you permission that you can. As your master, I demand that you trust me to resolve this issue and concentrate on your task at hand. Do you hear me?” 

“Yes, M-Master,” swallowing the lump in my throat, I choked out the response as his words had an effect on me, he wrapped his signature around me as a wave of calmness invaded my senses and I found myself relaxing as I let my defenses down.

Those warm tingles returned but they were much stronger as his words caused my heart to flutter and my legs to squeeze together. The possession in his tone brought a delicious shiver down my spine, as the atmosphere had changed between us once more like it did back in the training room. Giving into temptation as my curiosity wondered where this would take me, logic and reasoning were thrown out of the window as a haze settled over us. A sweet haze called  _ lust  _ which was also known as  _ desire _ clouded my mind as I found myself staring at his mouth. Those pink and plump lips. 

“Marin-“

“The woman has escaped!” A low ranking officer barged onto the balcony, flinching, we moved away from each other. We both stood and faced the officer who was panting as he tried looking professional as possible, despite the fact he had not only barged into my room without permission but his uniform was disheveled and he was sweating immensely. 

“How?” Without his mask, he looked even more terrifying as he shot a glare at the officer. The young looking officer merely swallowed as he tried to keep his gaze on Kylo, but his shaking showed his true feelings of fear. 

“She had escaped during the guard change,” was his only answer as he finally looked away from him.

“Alert every stormtrooper to find me that  _ spy _ , I need her alive!” He snapped “Go before I decide to remove that head of yours from your body.” 

“Yes, Commander!” With that he quickly left before Kylo changed his mind about killing him. 

The girl was found to be a spy for the Resistance as well as a spice runner. Commander Kylo had of course interrogated her but she hadn’t said much to him, then everything else happened so we got busy and we left her in her cell. We probably should have checked on her sooner, no use dwelling on the fact as she was running around the castle like a crazy person. 

“I need to send word to the engineers to have your ship prepared for flight,” I moved back into my room to fetch my datapad as I could feel his stare on me.

“I’m going to go find that spy, since no one is competent enough to watch a girl in a cell.” 

“Have fun.” 

He moved to my door as he picked up his helmet and slid it on, he looked over at me with a lingering gaze before he took his leave. Swallowing, my gaze wandered back to the balcony where just moments ago  _ we had almost _ ... shaking my head of those thoughts, I went back to my datapad.  _ There was still much to do. _

“Welcome to Gryle, I hope your trip was well, General Hux,” I greeted with a smile as I watched him stride off the small ship and towards me dressed in black, his arms behind his back and a bored look.

“It was satisfactory,” he stated as he stopped in front of me and bowed his head lightly, “thank you for asking,” General Hux gave me a ghost of a smile as we began walking towards the castle together with the Knights Of Ren behind us.

“Everything that you will need is on this datapad as I have made sure that everything was organized for easy finding and categorized properly of everything that will be needing attending to in our absences,” he took the device from my hand and slowly began to look through it, “I also had a room prepared for you as well as have ordered things for your cat since you’ll be stationed here for several months, maybe even longer.” 

We strode inside the castle as we passed by several stormtroopers who guarded the front entrance, he hummed softly as he continued going through my work as I had personally gone and logged every single thing into that device. I made a backup for me just in case for emergencies, of course. 

“I’m quite impressed, Commander Mari. This will be a great help in keeping up with everything on this new base,” he complimented as he gave me a nod of acknowledgement, “thank you, Commander, you have already been a great deal of help to me than any other petty officer since you came to join us.” 

“Thank you, General Hux, I’m glad I could make things easier for you.” 

Even though there was a rivalry between both General Hux and Kylo, I stayed out of it. We had found common ground when I had left base for a solo mission as part of my training that Snoke had assigned. Nobody was on base to keep Kylo’s temper in check as he ended up destroying a couple of TIE fighters and killed a few stormtroopers. Upon returning, I had calmed him down fairly quickly which gave General Hux some relief as he feared that the entire base would have to be evacuated from his fiery temper. Since then we have become friendlier to one another and even talked about other things such as his cat, and other planets. I considered General Hux to not only be an ally but also as a friend, well my only friend as we were part of the First Order. 

“Commander Ren,” bowing, we were crossing the large throne room as Kylo met us halfway donned in his mask and attire as he gave us both a respected nod.

“Commander Mari, General.”

“I was just explaining to the General about the base,” I gestured to the small device in his gloved hands, “were you able to recapture the spy?” 

“Yes, she had been heavily sedated and locked into another cell as my Knights will be keeping guard this time.” 

“That is a great relief as another thing less to worry about,” he merely nodded, “shall we make our way to the command room then and further discuss our assignments?” 

“Please lead the way, Commander Mari.” 

Several hours had passed as General Hux talked us through Kylo’s mission which was for the both of us to travel to the resistance base he was assigned to, Kylo along with stormtroopers would open fire. I would then act as a new member and be a “lone survivor” and make my way to the new base where I would stay until I gathered any evidence that was crucial to destroying them for once and all. It was a foolproof plan, but I still had my reservations as my fears of screwing up again started to dig their claws into me once more. 

“Are you ready?” 

“Yes, Commander Ren,” standing from my seat, I nodded to General Hux who bowed his head towards me. Turning, I left the room with Kylo at my side as we made our way to his command ship that was on standby as it waited for us to board and make our way to the Crantori system which was far from where we were stationed currently. It would take us almost half a day to get there, their base was a small planet called M’orgi.

Looking over the file once more for the tenth time in the last four hours gave me some peace of mind, as my worries started to eat away at me. Running a hand through my hair, I pushed away the papers as a ragged breath left my lips. We had been on the ship for about six hours now, as I spent the first four resting as I was beyond exhausted from the lack of sleep. I was still exhausted but this assigned mission had kept me from sleeping any longer as it rattled my nerves. 

“You should rest up for your mission, you look almost dead.”

“Thanks, you’re such a gentleman,” sarcasm dripped from my tone as he moved to the table and looked down at the open file, crossing my leg over the other I leaned back in my seat as I let out a sigh.

“Luckily I’m not a gentleman,” he stated dryly but you could see the amusement in his eyes as he placed a large gloved hand on the table.

“The file doesn’t state how long I’ll be on this particular assignment,” Kylo hummed a response as he shifted through the papers, his eyes scanned over them with interest as he read about my mission and everything else regarding it. “Why is that?”

“It’s been decided that you will stay there until we obtain some kind of critical information as you will be training and perfecting everything I’ve taught you so far until you are back at my side once more.”

_ Back at my side once more... _

“The force vision?”

“I told you that I would take care of it,” holding my breath, I stared at his side profile as he stared down at the documents with an indifferent look.

“What does the Supreme Leader think about it?” 

“I didn’t tell him as it’s none of his business as I’m your  _ master  _ and you came to me about the matter,” his deep voice invaded my hearing and with little thought I found myself slowly submitting to the unofficial staring contest.

Many times I often let my thoughts wonder on how he was able to deal with everything and to keep his emotions contained. But then I remembered how he was  _ dangerous _ ,  _ reckless _ , and  _ chaotic _ when it came to one small inconvenience and he’d snap and kill the nearest person or use his lightsaber and cut down whatever was in his way. It never bothered me, I should probably be afraid of him like any normal person was. Yet it sparked something in me, something just as dangerous and unpredictable as him. I took comfort in those thoughts as it made me relieved that I wasn’t the only one in this galaxy to feel this way, the only difference was that I had much better control over my emotions than he did. Maybe I should tell Hume about the supposed prophecy, about how I would find answers at the fallen Jedi Temple. 

“Thank you for the discretion, I appreciate it immensely,” standing beside him once more, our arms were barely grazing one another but I could still feel his body heat sink through my clothes and into my skin. Turning my head towards him, I saw that he was already staring down at me with such intensity that it set my blood on fire as my mind went blank. 

“Anything for _my_ _apprentice._ ” 

_ Why does my body act weird whenever he stares at me like that?  _


	9. i promise that I will save you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who found me through Tik Tok, thank you for taking time and reading this. Chapter 10 will be published in a couple of days as I am almost finished with it.

“Megan! Snap out of it and get to the docking bay! They’re back and the ships need immediate attention as you will be taking over Kate’s assignment!” Dropping my half eaten sandwich onto my plate, I scrambled to my feet as I ran all the way to the docking bay from the dining hall where the rest of the engineers would be already on standby.

Running down the halls on the small but large Resistance base, I found myself outside on the docking bay where pilots were running around as well as engineers. Quickly making my way towards the Chief Engineer, Jewels, where she was barking orders out to everyone. With a groan, I ignored everything that was going on and made my way towards her as she had her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail as it whipped around as she was snapping her head in every single direction. 

“Where is Kate?!” Jewel snapped as she looked up from her pad at me.

“I was told that I would be taking over her assignment,” Jewels looked distressed as she looked back to her pad and then me with a nod.

“Megan, you will be working on Dameron’s ship now!” Quickly nodding, I grabbed my toolbox off my workstation and towards the ship as I began to work as I noticed it was fairly damaged. 

_ What the hell...him and his damn arrogance is what is going to get him killed one of these days or worse captured by the First Order.  _

  
  
  


“We’re going to go get some drinks in celebration of us finishing another hard day of work, wanna join, Megan?” Looking up from my book, I saw that Joel was smiling at me as he stood towering over me.

“Not tonight, I’m really exhausted actually.” 

“Alright! Next time then!” With a carefree smile, he ran a hand through his black hair before he waved and left with the other engineers.

Picking up my discarded book, I made my way towards my small dorm to get some rest after a long day of fixing ships and working in the command room. Walking through several hallways, I passed by many members as I made my way towards the small bed. 

Climbing into bed after a long shower had woken me up, not physically as my body screamed for sleep. No. It was my mind that was refusing to turn itself off. Grabbing the familiar silver hilt of my weapon from underneath my pillow, I began to trace it as it helped soothe me. It helped me feel more grounded in my mission to retrieve information, as I felt alone and isolated from everything. Don’t get me wrong about the Resistance, they are really nice and generous but at the same time, I was on a mission to destroy them. I missed training with Kylo, and standing on the bridge with Hux as they were the main sources of human interaction I would receive on Starkiller base. With the occasional conversation with Captain Phasma when she wasn’t yelling or training her stormtroopers.

Frustrated regarding the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anytime soon, I kicked the covers off my body. Getting up from my bed, I moved to the center of my small dorm and sat on the ground, criss-crossed and with my eyes closed. Taking a deep breath to steady my breathing, I began to meditate as it always helped me relax. Even after another force vision that would wake me up in the middle of the night, my body slicked in sweat with my heart racing and my face covered in fresh tears as my eyes would be swollen from crying. This force vision still haunted me most nights, it was the same thing over and over again as it played in the back of my mind. For five months I relived my death date as if it was something that was normal, as if it was fate for my life to be taken. For five months...

_ Five months… _

It’s been five months since I was brought here by the Resistance. Five months since I started going by Megan. Five months since I was given the position of an engineer. Five months since I’ve seen Kylo. We hadn’t directly spoken to one another since he left me on the planet, in the ruins of the resistance base of fire and debris. It was too risky to try and communicate with him in the small base as everything was logged and monitored.Too much of a risk to reach out to him and have my cover blown without any concrete valuable information to give to the First Order. Which is hard to get when you’re just an engineer, that doesn’t mean that I’ve been a sitting duck either. 

Slowly I’ve been gaining their trust and have been able to gather pieces of information from the ship's location log. Especially today since I had worked on Poe Dameron’s ship and had found that he’s been all over the galaxy with that droid of his. They say that he is the best pilot of the Resistance and is also very close with General Organa as he works on base under her directly. Many things have changed since I “joined” the resistance, my abilities as a warrior have matured in the small course of five months. I’ve mastered the basic skills of being able to slip into people’s minds easily, and the power of persuasion, and being able to lift more than just small objects such as books and small pieces of furniture. My meditation had helped me keep in touch with my emotions and had given me confidence that I could complete this mission with little to no effort. 

The meditation helped keep the nightmares at bay for the most part as the whispers had ceased all together, and that made me rather apprehensive. The man shrouded in darkness hadn’t shown up either, but the woman, the other me had made her appearance a few times. I wish I had told Kylo about it when I told him of my dreams but I didn’t.  _ I was a coward. _ As soon as I returned I would sit down and talk with the force user as I needed to know, needed to know if this was normal or I was slowly going crazy, by losing my mind and slipping into insanity. There was so much going on and I felt like I was drowning. Still so much I didn’t know about the force as I had a long way to go before I would be able to finish my training. Once this mission was over, I’d be back underneath Kylo’s teachings as a Master on how to use and control the force. 

Until then my questions would have to wait, regarding the fact that I could feel him in my head, I could hear his deep baritone voice in my head. Every now and then I’d catch a glimpse of him, when I was in the dining hall, the docking bay, or even when I was training outside late at night. They had to have been mirages because it was impossible for me to see him on the base as he fought with Snoke’s red guards. But who was I to say what the force could and couldn’t do? I don’t think he even knows or realizes because whenever he pops into my head, all I hear are his own thoughts, most of them are about getting stronger and immersing himself into the darkness of the force. I would worry about him. 

_ Especially with how we had parted all those months ago. _

* * *

_ Fire and ruins surrounded me as I quickly killed the last resistance member as their body crumpled to the ground. Letting out a sigh, I deactivated my lightsaber before closing my eyes to make sure that everybody was dead. A familiar and warm life force brushed up against mine, snapping my eyes open. I came face to face with him as he stood before me in all his pride and glory. The fires crackling and dancing behind him. _

_ “Dress quickly before the Resistance gets here,” he threw a small bag at me, quickly catching it, I stared up at him as he eyed at my appearance slowly before he quickly turned around to give me some privacy. _

_ “Will you be going back to Gryle after this?” Dropping the bag, I quickly ditched my usual attire and into the Resistance uniform as I placed all my things into the bag.  _

_ “No,” Kylo answered, “I’ll be taking the next step in my training so I will be training with our Supreme Leader,” he added as he ran a hand through his dark hair.  _

_ “You can turn around now.” Swiftly, he turned around as his gaze wandered over me, slowly drinking me in as he clenched his jaw and tightened his fists. _

_ “What’s wrong? Am I missing something?” Silently he walked over to me, reaching he pulled my hair out of its intricate bun before he began to mess it up.  _

_ “You need to look like you just ran into some A’jgi,” he simply stated as he continued playing around with my hair. Amusement danced in his eyes as his lips twitched into a smile.  _

_ A smile made its way to my face at the mention of our little challenge just a little over two weeks ago. I always found a way to make training fun and with Kylo’s competitive spirit he went along with it. We were always together, so going on this mission alone…  _ **_alone_ ** _. The sudden realization that I would be alone again began to sink in, being alone and in enemy territory. Fear and anxiety flooded my veins. Kylo felt it. His gaze flicked to mine as he paused what he was doing and stared down at me. I averted my gaze from his not wanting to feel that weakness, the fear of being all alone with nobody to be at my side.  _

_ Kylo nudged me slightly. Dropping the barriers around my mind, I let him enter my mind and feel what I was feeling. For him to feel everything. Several tense moments went by as I felt him in my mind, felt him see and examine everything I kept inside. My trust in Kylo is what had me give up control and allow him access into the most private thing I owned. My mind. _

_ His gloved hand had grabbed my chin as he gently forced me to meet his stare again. He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear as he brought my face closer to his. His breath mingled with my own as I felt myself trapped and unable to move underneath his soft and concerned gaze. A rare thing to see from him considering who he is and all the blood that covered those hands of his. But then again since joining the Order all those months again, I had my own fair share of it.  _

_ “It’s only a mission, as soon as you find any information that is of use you can return to my side once more.”  _

_ “What if I fail? Like I did with King Ferial?” Those insecurities resurfaced as he shook his head at me with mirth. _

_ “You won’t, by the power of the dark side you will not fail,” he quoted my words that I had said to Snoke in the communication chamber, “I believe that you will succeed and you should too.”  _

_ This felt like goodbye. I hate goodbyes. Loneliness washed over me as I knew that we would have to separate soon. For who knows how long.  _

_ “I promise that once you come back I won’t ever allow you to leave my side. You’re not alone, Marinette, I promise that I’ll always be here,” knowing my sense of doubts he wrapped his own signature around mine as a way to reassure me that he was still there. _

_ “What if this is how I die?”  _

_ Flashes of my body in the snow, blood pouring out of me like magma from an active volcano. Pale as the snow that I laid in, dying and defenseless. My breathing slowing down, my eyes glazed over as soft grunts of pain left my blue lips.  _

_ “I refuse to let that happen,” was all he said as he closed his eyes tightly, trying to rid himself of the vision, to forget my possibly inevitable death. Even with my barriers back up, he was still in my head trying to banish the vision. “You’re not going to die... I’ll make sure of it,” he mumbled as he began to breathe through his nose. _

_ “I-it’s okay, Kylo,” bringing my hands up to cup his face, I rubbed my thumbs over his closed eyes as I could feel the tension slowly leave his body. _

_ “Don’t just give up…”  _

_ “I promise I won’t give up just as long as you promise that you won’t kill yourself to find the answers,” he stayed silent as his jaw clenched again, I knew that he wasn’t going to make such a promise to me that but the least he could do was attempt to try to keep his promise. _

_ “I can’t make such promises,” he mumbled as he moved away from me with great hesitation as he picked up the bag with my clothes in it. A silver hilt was clutched in his hands as he stared down at my weapon, the beautiful thin but heavy weapon that I’ve had since as long as I could remember.  _

_ “At least try,” Stepping towards him, my hand covered his own over my lightsaber as we stared at each other silently. “Please?” He gave me a small nod.  _

_ Smiling at him, I took my weapon from him as I had hid it in my uniform. It was a weird feeling not having the weight against my hip as I had been accustomed to it at my side. Several small and large ships appeared high in the sky over us. The Resistance was here. Looking back to Kylo, we both wore the same expression as we stared at each other silently. _

_ “Try not to get caught,” I joked as I ran a hand through my dyed hair, it was a stark dark brown rather than being the white blonde like it was. He merely nodded before he turned and walked back towards the flames that had surrounded us, he stopped and turned back to me. Kylo’s fists clenched as he flicked his gaze over me once more.  _

_ “I promise that I will save you.” Was all he said before he disappeared into the flames and into the night, smiling softly I took comfort in the fact that he was still wrapped around me as I watched his command shuttle take to the sky before they jumped to lightspeed leaving me in the wake of their destruction. _

* * *

“Are you the one who worked on my ship?” Looking up from my datapad as I was analyzing the ship’s data that had been downloading overnight. In front of me stood a tall man, built like an ox with dark tan skin, brown hair that bordered black, dark brown eyes, and a sharp jawline. 

_ Poe Dameron. _

“Yes, I am,” the small white and orange droid beeped beside him, “is there anything I can help you with?” 

“I wanted to thank you for handling my ship,” he gestured to the large ship that I had fixed up as new, “you did a pretty good job fixing her up, so thank you so much,” Poe clapped me on the shoulder really hard, flinching I shrugged his hand off my shoulder as I went back to my datapad as I continued going through the data.

“Don’t touch me.” 

“Woah, alright I get it.” 

“You caused severe damage to your ship, you are very lucky to make it back to this base alive,” turning away from him, I began to walk to my workstation, “my diagnostics test has shown that you heavily damaged your ship as if you had tried to jumpspeed one more time than you could have died,” setting my datapad down on the workstation, I turned around only to find him in my personal space as he stared down at me.

“Are you worried about me?” He joked as he leaned back relaxed as he crossed his arms over my chest.

“No,” I deadpanned as I moved around him and made my way towards the dining hall as my stomach had been growling for the last hour as I had got up early this morning to work on his ship, “I was merely stating a fact.” 

“I’m Poe Dameron, the best pilot of the resistance,” he started walking beside me with his droid behind us, “who are you? Kate usually works on my ship.” 

“I know who you are,” we passed by a couple of pilots who were smiling and laughing as they held their helmets, “Kate had overslept and so I had to fill in for her position for working on the damages to your ship.” 

“I appreciate it, so thanks.” 

Humming in response, I continued walking as I noticed that he continued to follow me even though I made it clear I didn’t want him following me. He started talking about frivolous things but I wasn’t even paying attention to a single thing he was saying as my thoughts were more focused on my grumbling stomach. 

“You never told me what your name was.”

“It’s Megan,” moving inside of the dining hall, I disappeared into the crowd leaving him standing there as he stared after me.

* * *

“How much longer do you think it will take for you to finish up with my ship?” Rolling my eyes at his question, I turned around to come face to face with a grinning Poe.

“You’ll be able fly the ship again tomorrow as I will have finished up with the communication,” I stated dryly as he flashed me a wide smile.

Why was he so happy and carefree all the time, it kind of creeped me out, as a bad feeling settled over me which made me suspicious already more than I was. Something about him put me on edge as he stared at me, as if trying to read me. 

“Thanks!” He clapped another hand on my shoulder, blinking at him I shrugged it off as I walked away from him.

“Hey! What’s your deal?” He asked as he ran up to catch up with me, clenching my jaw, I took a deep breath before facing him.

“I don’t want you touching me is all, I think I have a right to tell you that,” crossing my arms over my chest, I blinked at him as he put his hands up in defense.

“Alright, you got me there,” his droid looked between him and I and beeped a couple of times, “I’ve been asking around about you.” Stiffening, I narrowed my eyes at him as I wondered why he would do such a thing.

“Why?” It came out more harsh than I wanted it to but I didn’t care as my suspiciousness only grew at his blatant disregard for my privacy and personal space.

“All I was able to find out was that your name is Megan, you were on the base that was destroyed by the First Order about five months ago and that you keep to yourself. You didn’t really talk much with anybody unless you have to, as well as you don’t hang around anybody,” he looked proud of his little report he gathered on me as he had a cocky smile on his face and his posture screamed confidence.

“Good for you, would you like a gold star now?” I stated as I didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“Why is that? Is it because you’re scared to get close to anybody after what happened on your last base? I know it’s hard to be the only survivor and to have to come to terms with everything that happe-“

As he continued talking, I was really trying to figure out why he thought he needed to talk to me. I didn’t even know this man and he was talking to me like we were old friends.  _ It irked me _ . That he thought it was okay to insert himself into my life as if he owned it. This could blow my entire cover if he decided that he wanted to enter my life like this. He was the enemy. 

_ The enemy.  _

**Kill him.**

I shook my head to push the murderous thoughts away as I could feel the beginning of a headache “Look, thanks for the advice,  _ Dameron,  _ but I have other things to do and last time I checked my personal life is that.  _ Personal _ . So I suggest that you please stay out of it,” I stated before walking away. 

“Someone is a bit feisty.” Rolling my eyes at his remark, I left him at my workstation as I was going on my small break before I had to go back to working on his ship and finish with the communications.

_ I just want a sandwich and maybe even a nice nap right now... _  
  



	10. I'm dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars!

_ “Miss, are you okay?” I lifted my head up from the ground from where I laid on the destroyed docking bay, inhaling all the smoke caused a migraine as small fires weren't good as sharp pains stabbed my head. “We need to get you checked out by our medic!” A woman's voice yelled as she helped me stand on my feet before my body began to sway as my eyesight was blurry from the smoke.  _

_ “I-what?”  _

_ Waking up in a small medical bed, with a bunch of wires and needles plugged into me was not how I expected to wake up. Letting out a yawn, I looked around the room to find myself in a small medical bay with other beds around me but they were all empty. The only noises were from the small beeps from the machines I was hooked up to and  _

_ “You’re awake” A tall women with blonde hair, green eyes dressed in the a uniform I didn’t recognize smiled at me as she strode over towards me “We were worried that you wouldn’t have survived” _

_ “I-what happened?” I didn’t remember what happened after I had wandered around pretending to look scared and afraid until somebody found me. I must have passed out without realizing it from inhaling so much smoke. _

_ “The First Order attacked the base you were stationed on and I’m sorry to tell you this, but you were the only survivor,” sorrow filled her tone as her eyes welled up with tears, biting the inside of my cheek, I began to cry from the pain as tears dotted my eyes as I let out a small sniff. _

_ “T-that can’t be possible,” covering my mouth with my hand, I looked down at my lap to see that I was still dressed in the same uniform I had changed into.  _

_ “I’m sorry to tell you that as we were only able to find you,” a hand rested itself on my shoulder, stiffening at the human hand, she must have taken that I was scared as she pulled away with an apologetic gaze, “sorry, I forgot that you just went through something really traumatic and you probably don’t want to be touched.”  _

_ “I-it’s okay, umm thank you.” _

* * *

That was how I had met Military Officer Hale D’mini, she was the Commander of this Resistance base. A woman named Fora was the one who had found me and helped her back to the ship which brought me here, right in the heart of the Resistance base. Right where I needed to be in order to complete my mission, burn the base down along with everyone in it and return back to Gryle or maybe even Starkiller. 

After two days of being in the medical bay, I was assigned a dorm room as well as a job as an engineer. Luckily for me, my mother had taught me how to work on ships when I was young, as she used to be an engineer herself before she had given that up to become a nurse for those who had been caught in the middle of the war. I was assigned to a team of engineers who took care of those who came and went from other bases, this helped me gather information through their location logs. Yet it still wasn’t valuable enough as my own mission was to find out more about the mysterious T.A, and if the Republic was a friend or foe of theirs. 

“Megan!” 

“Oh hey, Joel, what can I do for you?” Turning towards him, I saw that he was dressed in his uniform as he ran a hand through his black hair while he held the pad in the other.

“Have you finished up Poe’s ship yet?” 

“Yes, I just finished up with the communications systems this afternoon,” glancing at the systems once more and nodding to myself I gave myself a mental pat on the back for fixing the ship in just a few days considering how damaged it was both internally and externally.

“Have you notified him yet?” 

“No.”

“You should do it immediately as he still has a mission to do under the strict order of General Leia,” he stated.

“Yes, I’ll do that immediately, sir.” 

_ Strict orders huh? This is perfect _ …

* * *

_ “Hi, I’m Megan, the new engineer,” a group of five engineers sat at a table in the dining hall as it was breakfast. _

_ “I’m Joel, it’s nice to meet you, Megan,” a tall but lean man with black hair and brown eyes smiled at me, “this is Kassie,” he wrapped his arm around a woman with blonde hair and brown eyes who shyly smiled at me from where she sat in the bench, “my girlfriend.”  _

_ “It’s nice to meet both of you.”  _

_ “Likewise, Megan,” Kassie moved over as she gestured for me to sit next to her.  _

_ “I’m D’laney,” a short and petite woman sat across from me with dark brown hair and green eyes greeted before she nudged the man beside her, “this is my idiot younger brother, Mac,” a man waved her off as he had the same dark brown hair and green eyes as her.  _

_ “Hey,” he mumbled as he glanced at me before looking away as he continued eating his meal.  _

_ “I’m Gio,” the last guy smirked at me as he ran a hand through his blond hair before winking at me with his blue eyes, “it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you, Megan,” D’laney let out a groan as she rolled her eyes at him. _

_ “She has only sat down for five minutes and you’re already hitting on her?”  _

_ “Don’t worry, buttercup, I still love you too so why don’t you put your claws away.”  _

_ They began to bicker back and forth over Mac, who let out a long and tired sigh as he continued eating his meal. I guess it was normal for those two to argue as everybody else ignored them. Joel and Kassie began explaining to me about some of the current assignments they were working on. With a smile, I listened hoping for any tidbit of information that could be useful in my mission but that hope was squashed when the couple only told me about the people on the base. Smiling, I gave the occasional nod and hum to let them know I was listening when in reality I was remembering the layout of the base as I was given a tour.  _

_ “So where are you from, Megan?” Gio asked, interrupting Joel’s ramblings.  _

_ “I’m from Tatooine,” the lie slipped off my tongue so easily as I had rehearsed my story over and over again when I was on the twelve hour journey with Kylo and his Knights, “I lived with my uncle and helped him repair podracers.”  _

_ At the mention of podracers, I had gained Joel and Mac’s attention. They wore huge grins as they stared at me, while both girls rolled their eyes and shook their heads at their behavior. This had me a bit tense as I didn’t know what was going on. _

_ “Did you podrace?”  _

_ “A bit, I had to learn myself since my uncle didn’t like me participating in such dangerous things.”  _

_ I now understood why both girls looked annoyed, as all three boys began to laugh into a heated discussion about racing. It seemed that they had great interest in the dangerous and illegal sport that was really just a quick grab at some easy credits. The girls then told me about the gossip of the base, I really wasn’t interested that much but at the same time these small tidbits of information could prove useful later. _

* * *

“Your ship is good as new as I went and took the liberty and prepped it for you,” crossing my arms and cocking my hip to the side, I watched as he turned to me after excusing himself from talking with the other pilots.

“Thanks, Meg!” Clenching my jaw at the use of the nickname, taking a deep breath I let the small friendly gesture go and merely nodded.

“I’ll be taking my leave then, if you need anything else then  _ please  _ call Kate,” turning, I quickly walked away from him as I heard him laughing assuming that what I had said was a joke. 

“Oh, come on!” He whined as he caught up with me as he began walking beside me, “just admit that you enjoy my company.” 

_ Kriff, does he have to be so arrogant? Does he even hear himself, because from where I’m standing all I hear is screeching. At least he didn’t try to touch me this time. Thank the maker.  _

“Sure,” ignoring the huge urge to snort at his ridiculous comment, I tried to think of ways to get him to relax in order for him to let me slip past his defenses and learn something valuable from him. 

“Can I get you a drink? It’s the least thing I can do for you repairing my ship.” 

_ Alcohol...drinking...perfect. _

“If I take you up on that offer, then will you promise to stop irritating me?”

“Promise.” 

“Then fine.”

“I’ll see you later then,” putting his helmet back on, he ruffled my hair before he took off into the docking bay and left me standing in the hallway as I fixed my hair. 

_ Dammit, almost went through one interaction with him not touching me in some way. _

* * *

_ Tears clouded my vision as I watched a blue lightsaber stab me in the stomach, frozen, I watched in slow motion as it was yanked out of me. Faltering backwards, my blood splattered had fallen into the beautiful white snow. Stumbling, my legs couldn’t support my weight as I crumpled into the snow. Sheer agony and shock washed over me. Holding the wound, my hands were covered in the warm and dark liquid as it poured out of me.  _

_ Marinette! _

_ Kylo’s voice was loud in my head as I closed my eyes, blocking my vision from the destruction in the background. A large structure was covered in flames as several explosions went off, the cool night air was filled with smoke and snow falling. A warm and familiar force signature covered me, as if it were holding me close.  _

_ “Kylo…” His name tumbled out of my cold lips, it rolled off my tongue so easily “I-I’m sorry…” I knew he couldn’t hear me but he didn’t have to as he was inside my mind.  _

_ You’re not allowed to die on me.  _

_ “Wouldn’t dream of it, Commander,” a humorless laugh left my lips as my vision slowly began to become clouded by black little spots.  _

_ Dammit! Get back up Marinette! _

_ “This is your mission to eradicate the Jedi, my mission is to serve you and our Supreme Leader,” his force signature squeezed against my own as he slammed me with the next words that took my breath away and made my heart beat a little faster. “You’re the important one, Kylo, I merely serve you just like the Knights.” _

_ "I meant my oath, I will follow you everywhere in this galaxy or the next. I will always be by your side until the day I draw my last breath, I won’t ever abandon you. I will follow you down whatever path you choose" Remember that? You made that oath to me and now you're backing away from it, you're more important than you realize. Now stop being a foolish little girl and get back up.”  _

_ “Kylo…” foolish little girl.  _

_ That brought a smile to my lips at the use of the little insult, that was the first thing he had called me back when I made my deal with him. The deal that sealed my fate with the First Order, with Kylo Ren. A deal that led me to make an oath to bind myself to his side until my last breath, to fight alongside him, no matter who was at the end of his blade. No hesitation or fear made me regret making that oath, because if I had the chance to change things, I wouldn't.  _

_ As much as I wanted to get back up and fight alongside him, I couldn’t. With a low groan, I tried sitting up but I was already wounded before I fought with the woman who wielded the blue lightsaber. My vision was becoming darker by the second. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as it began to slow down quickly, my body was becoming numb to laying frozen in the frigid snow. Using the force, I searched for my lightsaber, as it always brought me a sense of peace and tranquility, it flew into my hands.  _

_ Holding the familiar blade, it took me several moments to help myself into a sitting position, before I attempted standing. Taking my hand away, my hand was covered in the liquid that gave me life, the thick but beautiful liquid that was spilling out of me like the waterfalls of Naboo. Leaning up against a tree, I tried to clear my vision as flashes of my training underneath Kylo passed through my mind. The ground began to shake as the ground began splitting in half, with a pained groan I lost my balance and fell into the snow. My ears were filled with white noise as I closed my eyes and tried blocking out all the noise, to block out everything that was going on around me.  _

_ I’m dying. _

* * *

Clocking out of work was not supposed to be this difficult, no, it was a quick and easy process that always brought me relief. It made me happy that at the end of every day, I could go and eat something before retiring to my dorm for some much needed alone time, before sneaking out at night and training in the woods. 

This wasn’t the case though. No. 

“Megan,” Kassie’s voice whined as she latched onto my arms along with D’laney who latched onto my other arm. I almost forgot that she was speaking to me, or more like interrogating me regarding a Mr. Poe Dameron. 

“Yes?” 

“You have a date with Poe and you weren’t going to tell us?!” Rolling my eyes at her behavior, I shook my head in disbelief that she really believed the gossip that was being spread. Someone must have overheard Poe before he left and told everybody else, which resulted in being interrogated like some criminal. 

“It’s not a date.”

“He asked you to get drinks with him,” D’laney interjected this time. 

“So? He offered me to get a drink with him for fixing his damn ship,” we were making our way to the dining hall as I was trying to ignore my grumbling stomach, as I had worked overtime to finish his ship as quickly as possible.

“He has never offered Kate to get drinks with him.” 

“Kate likes Poe, I don’t like Poe as he is annoying and too touchy for my liking.” 

“Oh come on, Megan, Poe is attractive and a girl has  _ needs _ too,” at the mention of ‘needs’, my face grew hot as I tried shaking such thoughts out of my mind. It was a means to an end. I was only going with him to get information so I could get back to the First Order, to get back to training properly. 

“She’s red!” Kassie squealed as she shook me but I was still too stunned to make a comment or to even push her off of me. 

“Someone does have a thing for Poe,” D’laney teased as she helped me walk into the dining hall, taking our seats at our usual table, she left to grab us some food, leaving me at the mercy of a teasing Kassie. 

“I don’t like Poe, it’s just that I have never... uhh.” Kassie grew wide eyed as she stared at me shocked from across the table, her mouth was open and gaping like a fish out of water.

“WHAT?!” Leaning over the table, I slapped my hands to cover her mouth as I glanced around to see that her outburst had caused the other occupants to stare at us with questioning gazes. Laughing awkwardly, I looked back at her as she continued staring at me with disbelief and shock. 

“What’s going on?” D’laney made her way other with three trays of food as she took her seat beside me and set the food down.

“Nothing!” I hissed as I shot Kassie a glare who merely blinked at me, “if I move my hands will you keep your mouth shut?” Kassie merely licked my hand in response, grimacing, I moved my hand away and rubbed her saliva onto my uniform. 

“That’s disgusting.” 

“Megan over here told me that she is still a virgin,” Kassie whispered to D’Laney who stared at me with wide eyes as well. 

“What?”  _ At least she didn’t scream it like Kassie.  _

“Is it that big of a deal?” 

“Aren’t you like, twenty-four?” 

“Twenty-three,” I corrected as I buried my face in my hands. 

“You’ve at least kissed somebody right?” D’Laney finally shook off her shock as she decided to ask me a question this time. 

“Of course I’ve kissed before, I’ve kissed a couple of guys here and there.” 

“I just can’t believe you’re still a virgin…” Kassie trailed off causing me to groan loudly.

“It’s not a big deal that she’s still a virgin, Kassie, it’s her choice when she decides to do it,” D’Laney patted my back as she defended me. 

“Thank you” I mumbled, finally looking up from my hands as I shot her a smile, “can we just keep this between us? I don’t feel like it’s anybody else’s business.” 

“Of course we will,” Kassie smiled as she leaned over and patted my hand, “especially from Gio,” we all bursted out laughing at that as we all knew Gio would make it his mission to take that prize. Him and his playboy ways. 

* * *


	11. Home?

_ “So a little birdie told us that you have become an amazing engineer,” Gio chuckled as he took his seat beside me with Mac in front of me and his sister D’Laney next to him. _

_ “What are you talking about?”  _

_ “Jewels just sent Officer Hale a report about how you’re fitting well within the base and your skills as an engineer are exceptional,” he nudged me with a teasing grin as the other two rolled their eyes at his behavior.  _

_ I had been on the resistance base for about three months now, so it wasn’t surprising that Officer Hale had asked for a report regarding how I was settling in with the events of the last resistance base. Pushing those thoughts away as well as the report, I continued eating as Gio explained to us his latest conquest with some woman who was a pilot.  _

_ “That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting,” D’Laney had thrown her fork at him, he quickly dodged it and smirked at her.  _

_ “Are you jealous because I’m giving another woman attention and not you?”  _

_ “I’m trying to eat here before my twelve hour shift,” grimacing, I pushed my tray of half eaten food away as Mac gave me a sympathetic look.  _

_ “Poor Megan,” Gio cackled, blinking, I jabbed him in the stomach harshly as he hissed.  _

_ “Idiot,” Mac grinned at this as D’Laney began laughing, as Gio nursed his ribs as he pouted at me like a child. _

_ “Awe come on, Megan, it was just a joke.”  _

_ “A terrible joke that ruined my appetite,” before anything else was said, we were joined by Joel and his girlfriend Kassie as they took their respective seats at our table. _

_ “How were your shifts?” Kassie and Joel exchanged tired glances as they both looked exhausted as they had just finished their night shift.  _

_ “I wanna sleep for several light years,” Kassie moaned as she rested her head on the table as Joel merely patted her back.  _

_ “That bad, huh?” Gio finally stopped whining as he turned to the two.  _

_ “We had pilots come in with damaged shifts when we were on break, they had just been attacked by a couple of TIE fights that had caught them on their radars at the last minute before they could jump light speed,” Joel explained as he stretched in his seat.  _

_ “The First Order is everywhere these days,” D’Laney mumbled as she stole Gio’s fork to continue eating.  _

_ “Could you imagine working with the First Order? How horrible would that be?” _

_ Kassie asked before she got up to get food as her stomach had begun to make almost inhuman noises. The four all exchanged voices of agreement, biting my tongue, I ignored their comments as I had to be careful about what I said. They weren’t stupid but at the same time they weren’t all that smart either, or maybe I was just a really good liar. Deciding not to risk it, I drank some water as I pretended to be interested in the ceiling.  _

_ “So Jewels and I wrote a report about you, Megan,” Joel stayed as I felt all eyes were on me, setting my cup down, I looked at them as they all blinked at me. _

_ “Look guys, I’m fine,” they always looked at me like this because of what they thought had happened on the last base. They thought I was emotionally distant because I was scared that another repeat would happen again. “Really I am, so stop treating me like I’m a child.”  _

_ “Alright,” D’Laney didn't look convinced but she had dropped the matter altogether as she changed the subject and directed all the attention on her about some guy she was talking to. _

* * *

“So you’ll go on a date with Poe Dameron but not me? You hurt my feelings, Megan,” Gio grabbed my hand as he brought it to his heart, rolling my eyes at his dramatic behavior I snatched my hand away from him as I took my seat beside Kassie. 

“It’s not a date.” 

Joel and Mac raised eyebrows at this as the girls had merely ignored Gio as they tried changing the subject to something else. They were unsuccessful as Gio decided to press the matter once more. 

“That’s not what I heard from a couple of the other pilots when I was working.” 

“They’re wrong, he told me that if I had one drink with him he would stop pestering me,” the girls smiled at this as they already knew the story of what had happened with Poe as I had explained it to them last night. 

“You’re a feisty girl, Megan.”

“If you don’t drop the matter I’ll show you just how feisty I can be when you find yourself on the ground,” the girls bursted out laughing at this as Gio looked like a wounded puppy.  _ Damn flirt.  _ “Anyway, I have other matters to attend to so I’ll catch up with you guys later,” standing, I waved them all bye and left to make my way back to my dorm. 

I needed to mediate, it’s been a while since I had the opportunity as I had spent the last couple of days nonstop fixing Poe’s ship. He would be gone for a week, so that left me free until his return after completing General Organa’s classified mission. That not even Officer Hale knew what it was. My plan was to get some alcohol in his veins where he would drop his defenses, which would then allow me to slip into his mind and gather what I needed. 

Then I could go back home. 

Home…?

What was even home? Did I consider the First Order as a home? I’ve never thought of the First Order as home before so why did that single word worry me? It wasn’t in my job description to call it home, to feel this way. Is this why I felt lonely? Because I was homesick? No. My home was with my parents on A’rth, not on Starkiller base with General Hux and Kylo Ren. No. I’m being foolish and am probably just in need of desperate meditation. Of course, my thoughts and feelings were betraying me from the dark side of the force. 

Yes. I just need to meditate and remember my teachings. 

* * *

_ The cool breeze danced across my skin bringing shivers down my spine as I slowly dropped from the air landing on my feet as the large rocks around me dropped to the forest floor with soft thuds. Taking several deep breaths of the fresh air brought a smile to my lips. The birds calling out to one another in the distance had set me at ease as I could feel them through the force.  _

_ Activating my lightsaber, I kept my eyes closed as I trusted the force and moved gracefully through the small clearing. I practiced the moves that Kylo had taught me, that way once I got back to base, I’d be a step closer to completing my training. To prove to Kylo that I was worthy of fighting by his side on the frontlines. To become a full member of the First Order and become a skilled warrior in the ways of the force.  _

_ ‘Fuck!’ _

_ Snapping my eyes open, I found myself in Snoke’s throne room, instead of the clearing that I was in before. I immediately spotted Kylo, dressed in his training attire as he battled with Snoke’s Elite Praetorian Guard. They were eight men who were trained in several forms of martial arts and all specialized in a single weapon. They were Snoke’s personal bodyguards, as Kylo and I were his own personal warriors. Snoke sat leaned back on his throne as he watched Kylo fight with an unreadable gaze. _

_ Switching my focus back to my mentor, a wave of relief and happiness filled me at seeing Kylo for the first time in weeks. He was covered in sweat as he fought the guards all at once, he was using his pain to spur on his unfiltered rage. To fight all of them, to best them to take the next step in his own training.  _

_ “Kylo…”  _

_ He didn’t hear me as he continued fighting, I didn’t understand why I could see him and hear him but he couldn’t hear or see me. It was an odd sensation. Yet his feelings slammed into me causing me to stumble as his rage, pain and passion coursed through my body all at once. Steadying myself, I reached out with my force signature and brushed it against his own angry one. This seemed to cause him to stop as he faltered in his attack, warmth filled his eyes instead of the cold murderous look in his eyes. One of the guards saw this and took the opportunity to attack him from behind.  _

_ Gasping, I watched as Kylo was thrown to the ground, pain filled my body at the impact as my knees slammed into the forest floor. Biting back the pain, I kept a steady gaze on him, brushing against his signature again, a flash of recognition flashed through his eyes as he got back to his feet. Clutching his lightsaber, he reignited it as he threw himself headfirst into the fight. A surge of pride filled my body as I watched in admiration as he gracefully brought each guard to their knees.  _

_ “Good job, Master…” _

_ Then just like that, I was back in the clearing as I stared at the darkness of the clearing before me. Completely cut off from Kylo once more as my force signature returned to me immediately, I frowned at that as I felt alone again. Deactivating my lightsaber, I hid it back in my training clothing and sat on one of the rocks I trained with. I was confused at how I was able to see Kylo, as clear as day when he was on the other side of the galaxy from me. Pushing those thoughts away into the Kylo discussion pile, I made the trek back to the base as I could still feel Kylo’s lingering emotions in my own body.  _

_ Just what the hell was going on with me? I feel like I’m a teenager again and having to figure out just what the hell my body was putting me through. Except this time, I couldn’t just make out with a boy and the problem was solved. _

* * *

“Wanna go get a drink with us, Megan?” Looking up from my datapad, I saw D’Laney smile at me as she was dressed in her own uniform. I had just finished reviewing the last report on a small ship that had come in that morning. 

“Sure, just let me file this report, check out and then get ready.” 

“Alright, we’re all going to Lod’s tonight,” with a smirk, she left me back to her own workstation as I merely blinked at her retreating figure.

_ Dammit, I should have asked what bar we were going to go to first.  _

  
  


D’Laney and Kassie walked with me as they had linked their arms with mine as Gio, Joel and Max walked behind us talking about Maker knows what. Us girls were all dressed in short maxi skirts, and backless low cut blouses and heels. It really wasn’t something I would choose but the look had grown on me in these past months. Of course I stuck to the color scheme of black, white, and silver as they looked best on me. 

We were on our way to Lod’s, it was a trendy and classy club that many Resistance members came to as it served the best alcohol and was the closest bar to the base. We frequented the establishment about twice a month, as we enjoyed visiting the other clubs. We were all off at the same time, which was a huge relief to all of us as this was our way of spending time together outside of jobs. Working on ships all day, every day was exhausting so a little bit of alcohol and dancing couldn’t hurt, right? 

Kassie navigated the two of us through the dimly lit club, and through the bodies of aliens and humans grinding on the dance floor. The air was filled with the scent of sex, death sticks and alcohol. Grimacing, I had gotten used to the ardent smell but that still didn’t stop me from nearly gagging. D’Laney found us a booth near the back as it gave us a perfect view of both the bar and the dance floor. 

Shuffling into the booth, the boys had left to get us drinks. Tugging the black mini skirt I wore down as I readjusted myself in my seat as both girls sat on both sides of me as they talked over me about some party that was being held nearby. 

“Are you coming, Megan?” 

“No, parties aren’t really my thing,” this club was barely my thing but since joining the Resistance it was a huge stress reliever and I had come to enjoy it actually. 

“Oh come on,” Kassie whined as she shook me slightly. 

Luckily for me, Joel returned with a tray full of shots, while Gio and Mac juggled bright blue drinks. Once they took their seats with the drinks on the table, we all grabbed a shot from the tray. 

“A toast to another long week of a successful job well done,” Joel smiled as we all clinked our drinks together as we all voiced our agreement before downing our drinks.

For the first hour we had spent playing drinking games, and one by one the shots had disappeared leaving only the fruity and sweet blue drinks. We were all pretty buzzed as Kassie had dragged Joel onto the dance floor. While Gio was flirting with a couple of girls in the booth next to ours, D’Laney had disappeared to the bathroom. This left me with Max who was silent as he slouched in his seat, both of us slowly sipping on one of the blue drinks that they had brought over. It was really sweet but it had a bit of a kick to it that I found myself enjoying thoroughly.  A dark shadow was cast over the table causing me to look up from my drink to find a tall man with dark eyes and blonde hair nervously smiling.  _ This is bound to be good. _

“Can I help you?” 

“Wanna dance?” 

_ Seriously? That’s a first, no stupid pickup line or anything. It was quite bold of him to make his way over here to ask me to dance with him. I couldn’t feel any dark intentions from him through the force, but that didn’t mean I was going to let my guard down. What could be the harm in dancing anyway? Maybe it was the liquor talking but it didn’t seem like a bad idea to say yes to his offer. Dancing with a stranger could come in handy anyway, I didn’t need another Ferial incident on my hands.  _

_ Damn bastard. _

“Alright,” setting my drink down, I stepped out of the booth ignoring the stares of both Mac and Gio as we walked over to the dance floor together. The strobe lights that were cast over the dance floor painted everybody in pinks, blues, purples and reds. As some song I didn’t recognize was playing loudly, I could barely hear myself thinking over it. 

It didn’t take long for both of us to get in the groove of things as his hands were on my waist, my bare back was to his chest. Our bodies moved side to side with one another as my arms were behind me and wrapped around his neck. His fingers slide from my waist to my hips in slow but clumsy movements, reminding me of a teenage boy touching a girl for the first time. The air over the dance floor had become thick with sex, as people all around us were grinding and practically fucking on the dance floor. It was bad because I could feel it through the force but thankfully people reaching their orgasms were drowned out by the loud music that blared throughout the entire club. Swallowing my disgust, I reeled my force in as I moved my attention around the other occupants of the dance floor. 

I spotted Kassie and Joel not too far from where I was as they were slowly dancing on the edge of the dance floor. Their entire relationship made me smile as they were always looking out for one another, because at the end of the day they had each other to get back to. A small but still a happy future. It made me want something, somebody to hold onto at the end of the day. To remind myself that I’m not just some soldier, or a mindless puppet but that I’m still human and crave the basic human emotion of a sense of belonging. I felt empty. So alone and afraid. Yet, my mind wandered off to Commander Ren. To Kylo. The only slightly tangible thing I had to hold onto. The only thing I could probably ever have, the only think that I would 

“Hey. you okay?” The man who I was dancing with, who I had barely even talked to this entire time asked me with slight concern in his tone. The question startled me as nobody, besides my parents, had asked me that before, had never cared for me enough to ask that. Yet a complete stranger had asked me this question as we had barely spoken ten words to one another. 

“I-uh yeah, I’m just thinking.” 

“Would you like to take a break?” 

“In a bit, can we dance a bit more?” 

“Whatever you want, just let me know,” with a soft smile, I was surprised by his behavior but merely let the alcohol in my veins and my instincts take over as we continued swaying to the obnoxiously loud music together. Losing myself to the small fleeting moment of a sense of tranquility, I didn’t even sense that I was being watched. As my true purpose of being here was thrown out of the window and I was letting myself relax for the first time since I was stationed here. 

* * *


	12. My Pretty Little Thing

**“Kylo!”**

It was her.

I could recognize that voice anywhere.

Whipping my head up from my most prized possession, my grandfather’s mask, the voice in my head let out a blood curdling scream. Jumping up from my seat, I ran out of the room only to find myself in a small dorm room. Zeroing my focus on the bed, I watched as my apprentice, Marinette, lay in bed with tears running down her face as she was covered in sweat. Another scream left her lips as she thrashed about trying to kick the blankets off of her and onto the floor. I didn’t need to search her mind to know what her nightmare was about. Her nightmare was my own. 

**Her death.**

Forcing my signature around her own, I poured my energy into her. Her screams turned to soft little whimpers as her tears dried up. Her soft, pink lips curled into a soft smile. Sitting on the bed beside her, I continued forcing my energy into her, to calm her down as she had done for me many times before. She’s only been gone for three weeks and yet it feels like she’s been gone for months. I didn’t realize that in the short six months of being with her, that she had left a mark on me. Reaching out, I ran my fingers through her long dark brown hair, her hair was pin straight that curled at the ends. She leaned into the palm of my hand as I began to stroke her cheek with my thumb, she began purring as she had settled back into a comfortable slumber. 

**_So beautiful, so sweet, and so pure._ **

She was becoming corrupted. I could feel the darkness slowly growing inside of her, with each kill she was falling deeper into the dark chaos of the dark side. I should feel remorse for offering her my hand, for pulling her into this war. Yet, she has always belonged to me. it's been written that we would be connected, that we would be a strong force together. 

Grabbing a lock of her hair, i held it between my index and my thumb as I tugged on it lightly. _Ridiculous._

**I hate her hair color.**

it wasn’t the white blonde I was used to seeing. Used to seeing wrapped up in tight knots on her head, or in the braid she kept it in. Seeing her dressed so differently left a bitter taste in my mouth. She wasn’t supposed to be with  **them.** I was against sending her to the Resistance after she had told me of the force vision, but I couldn’t go against orders from the Supreme Leader. So with bitter reluctance I had left her behind for the resistance scum to collect her. To collect what was  _**mine.** _

It  _**irked** _ me. 

Since the moment she had fallen, after she struck down everybody who had the misfortune of stepping into her path. Watching her sway before crumpling to the ground had sparked something in me. After I had caught her, I had rushed her to the medical wing as she had been bleeding the entire time. She had been in pain, and continued to fight even though she knew the risks of doing such a thing. I had stayed with her all throughout the night until the medical droids had her in a stable condition. I doubt she even knew that it was me, that I was the one who visited her in her dreams for years. That she knew it was I who wanted her to reach the full potential of her abilities. It was I who had watched her for years. _That she had always belonged to me._

_**Not yet.** _

_**I couldn’t claim her until the time was right.** _

* * *

“You’re distracted today,” Vicrul mused as he stepped onto my quarters with his weapon rested over his shoulder comfortably “Wanna terrorize a village?”

Silence, “I’m not in the mood,” 

“You have that look in your eye, again. The same look you had returned with when we left the Mistress behind,” He paused “You felt her again,”

_ I had felt her.  _

I was fighting against Snoke’s Praetorian guards, it was to let out my frustrations at the fact that I had experienced her force vision. The vision that showed her death. Clenching my fists, I stopped myself from getting angry again. Instead I focused on the way she had brushed her warm signature against mine. It had left me in shock, which left me open and had caused me to leave myself open for the guards to attack me. She felt warm and peaceful. Like a sunny day. 

I could her concern for me when I had gotten knocked down, but then felt her immeasurable pride when I had gotten back up. When I had forced Snoke’s guards into submission, something I hadn’t been able to do. But it was her mere presence that woke something in me to prove that I was capable of protecting her. That I was capable of providing for her. 

That thought made me stop. 

I’m Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, Master of the Knights Of Ren, a Jedi Killer. 

I scoffed.

I refuse to get all soft for a foolish little girl. For a woman who carries pride as a medal and a tongue as sharp as her wit. Those pretty pink lips spouting intelligent insults under her breath, or those beautiful dark eyes that narrowed at me whenever I ignored her advice. 

_Fuck_.

“Choose the village Vicrul,” Grabbing my helmet, I placed it over my head as I turned away from the large window. 

“Yes Master,”

* * *

A boiling rage had consumed my body as I saw red, I didn’t like the way she was dancing with some stranger in a club. The club that reeked heavily of alcohol, drugs and sex. She was smiling as she seemed lost in her own world, the strange man holding onto her hips as she danced so  **tantalizing** against him. It made my blood boil as I watched, helpless, as this foolish man thought he could have what **_belonged_** to me. 

**Mari.**

Her hips swaying in the most delicious way, her long creamy legs exposed in that mini skirt she wore. I couldn’t look away nor could I move from the spot I was rooted to. Keeping my gaze on the way her body moved so seductively slow as she looked relaxed, without a single care in the world. I was utterly  **fixated** by her. _She was a_ _**pretty thing** .  _

**My** **pretty thing**. 

I was about to make my way towards them and rip that man away from her, before I felt emotions creep into my veins. The undeniable feeling of loneliness and melancholy set in as I felt it wash over me like a bucket of cold water was thrown on me. It took me several moments to realize that they weren’t my emotions but that they belonged to Mari. 

_ Her eyes were sad.  _

_ She felt lost and alone.  _

_**I’ll have to change that immediately once she returns back to where she belongs. At my side.** _

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. You will leave and play your part

_ “See you tomorrow, Meg!” D’Laney called out as she stumbled in her heels to her own dorm that was a couple of doors down, “try not to throw up in one of your shoes again!” She snickered.  _

_ “Try not to fall asleep in front of your dorm again like last week!” I called back.  _

_ “I’m not going to do that!” She scoffed as she walked backwards only to run into one of the walls.  _

_ “Yeah sure, good luck with that!” Laughing, I watched as she waved me off before I shoved the key into the lock, unlocking it, “goodnight, D’Laney!”  _

_ “Goodnight, Meg!” Stumbling into my dorm before leaning against the now closed door with an exhausted sigh, leaving my painted lips as I had just come back from Kawanki’s with the gang. _

_ Pushing myself off the door, I dropped my heels to the floor, as I made my way towards my bathroom I stripped out of my clothing. Leaving a trail, I didn’t care as I would pick it up in the morning. As I desperately needed to wash the night's events off my body and crawl into my bed, that was calling my name. After showering I dressed in a nightgown as I towel dried my hair, using the force, I dropped the article into my dirty laundry as I made my way towards my bedroom.  _

_ ‘Fuck!’ _

_ Instead of walking into my bedroom, I had walked into a small meeting room on the Finalizer as Kylo was donned in his whole ensemble as well as the iconic mask. Unfiltered rage washed over me as his thoughts were screaming in my head, his voice was strained with frustration as the single word continued chanting in my head. With his lightsaber ignited, he slashed at the wall as angry red scorch marks decorated the once pristine metal walls.  _

_ Reaching out to him with my signature, like I have many times before, to soothe the burning rage that was ignited deep in his chest. Keeping my gaze steady on him, I reached out into his mind slowly. With a gentle hold on him I poured my energy into him. Not caring at the fact that I was growing tired both physically and mentally.  _

_ ‘Kylo… please let me in’ _

_ His movements had stilled as his arms dropped to his sides, his lightsaber humming and crackling laid at his side. His shoulders rose up and down as his breathing grew heavy, calm and peace washed over my body as well. Kylo’s thoughts had gone silent as they were no longer screaming in my head, taking that as a small sign. I ran an invisible hand from his shoulders, along his jaw then up his cheek where it was finally placed on his forehead.  _

_ ‘Please, Kylo…’ _

_ He stiffened slightly as he seemed to have heard me, but I doubted he could, otherwise he would have responded. Taking his helmet off, I was relieved to see his face again after months had gone by since we last saw each other. Dropping it onto the large white table, his dark brown eyes scanned the room slowly as he soaked up every single detail, he glanced over me as he was now on guard. He was using the force to try and find me and that brought a smile to my face. Brushing my own energy against him briefly, I watched as immediate recognition flashed in his eyes like it did last time. His force held onto mine tightly as he dropped his guard leaving himself vulnerable to me.  _

_ So badly did I want to scream that I was with him, to confirm his theory that I was there. That I was with him, but I was unable to say anything as my words never left my lips. But this was new as he was able to sense my force signature, to hear my silent plea to let me in. To soothe his turmoil. This was very new, reaching out I wondered what would happen if I were to reach out and touch him. Yet just like in a force vision, I was rooted to where I stood as I watched him look around the room. Instead I was forced to watch him silently, before I was being ripped away from him again.  _

_ Blinking, I was back in my bedroom where instead of Kylo stood, was my bed. Letting out a tired sigh, I collapsed on my bed more drained than I was before as I poured most of my energy to calm him. Closing my eyes, I decided that I would think more of it tomorrow when I wasn’t half-asleep with liquor still in my bloodstream.  _

* * *

“Spill,” Kassie demanded as soon as I made my way back towards the booth we occupied, “that guy was gorgeous and you looked like you were enjoying yourself for once,” she smirked. 

“I’m allowed to relax myself,” grumbling, I was thankful that Joel arrived back to the table with another tray full of shots as the alcohol in my system was already wearing off. 

“And that is perfectly fine but who is he?” Kassies pushed the matter further as this had caught the rest of the groups attention. Grabbing a shot, I downed it before slamming it down on the table. 

“I have no idea actually, don’t even know his name,” both Kassie and D’Laney grew wide eyed as the boys merely blinked at me, “he came over here and asked me to dance and I said alright,” shrugging, I took another shot as it was no big deal because it wasn’t.

“Do you like him?” Snorting at D’Laney’s question, I shook my head as I couldn’t believe she really just asked me that.

“Don’t be ridiculous, it was a small dance and that is that.” 

“You should ask him to join us at the party!” 

“No! What about Poe?” 

Both girls began to debate about the matter of which boy I should choose, the boys grew bored and went back to talking amongst themselves as I slowly drank each shot one by one hoping that I could get drunk enough to not remember this conversation in the morning. 

My thoughts wandered back to the dance with the stranger as when I had asked for a break, he had excused himself to go back to his friends. Which I didn’t care either way because I doubted I’d ever see him again. But what had me thinking back to our little dance was the thoughts that were running in my head at the time. The thoughts of having a small little happiness I could carry with me, to remind myself that I wasn’t just a tool for the Order. That I was much more than a lightsaber wielding Commander and apprentice to the scariest people of the Galaxy. 

I guess that was why General Hux had that cat of his, Millicent. To remind himself that outside of his job that he had something to come back to at the end of the day. That feeling of belonging to something. The feeling of normality in the middle of this war that could take any of us right at this moment. A strong foreign feeling filled my chest at the thought of wanting a small slice of happiness. Even if it was for the briefest of moments. Just for me to feel like I was much more than a secret weapon against the resistance. 

Yes, as I looked around the large booth filled with my co-workers and friends. As they laughed and talked amongst each other, they had brought out a feeling in me that made me feel warm and tingly. That warm feeling had brought a smile to my lips as I knew in this moment that I had a place. With them. Even if it was just for the briefest of moments. Regardless of this being a mission, I knew that I would carry them in my heart. I had come to love them as close friends as they had done nothing but be kind to me. Welcomed me with open arms and promises of friendship. 

* * *

_ “Good job, now just push yourself harder,” my father instructed as I sat on a large rock, he walked around me in a large circle watching my every little movement. _

_ “I’m trying,” strengthening the walls around my mind, I ignored the fact I was growing tired quickly as I pushed myself even further towards my small goal.  _

_ For several hours, I tried and tried over again near the point of exhaustion as I was allowed to finish for the day. My father went to go check on the town while I made my way towards the Great tree I made a habit of visiting after my training sessions. Leaning against the tree, I closed my eyes and let myself become immersed in the sound of the wind blowing. Small bumps appeared on my skin as I shivered from both the cold and the change of the seasons.  _

_ Placing both my hands firmly on the ground, I focused solely on the life that flowed through the earth. Hearing the earth breathing as all forms of life could be felt underneath my fingertips brought a smile to my face. This always calmed me, this was my happy place, the place I went to in my mind to escape from the mundane parts of my life that I dreaded dealing with. My thoughts often wondered back to leaving this planet, to find where I truly belong in this galaxy. I had to belong somewhere, somewhere I was needed.  _

_ Yet... a part of me already knew where I belonged and it brought me comfort as well as fear. Fear that kept me up at nights, like tonight. The fear that I would just be another life taken in this war that has already taken so many. My life, my name would be written down along with several others that nobody would remember. The war between light and darkness, the Resistance and the Order. This is where I belonged. Once I was old enough, I would choose my own path of which side I would join.  _

_ I heard distant shouting, looking over I saw a young woman and a man argue loudly down in the field that the tree I was propped up against looked over. I couldn’t hear what they were arguing about exactly but it seemed like it was something serious. I almost didn’t see the young boy near the fighting couple as he watched them not too far away from where they were. He didn’t seem fazed by the fighting as if it was a common occurrence, he merely watched as they yelled and made jabs at one another. I’ve been watching this boy grow up over the many years I have known him, over the many years of being able to see him when nobody else could. We never spoke to one another, nor have we ever interacted. I didn’t even know his name actually.  _

_ The boy looked not that much older than me as he merely stared at his parents blankly, I felt remorse for the boy for having to watch his parents fight like that. It was wrong for them to fight in front of him. Standing, I was going to make my way over towards them but somebody had called my name. Looking away for a brief second, I turned back to see that the small family of three had disappeared.  _

_ I wish I could talk to him...to at least know his name.  _

* * *

Waking up with a hangover wasn’t my intention when I went out last night, yet here I laid rolling over onto my stomach, burying my head underneath the pillow. I could have easily gone back to sleep for a couple of more hours, since I wasn’t scheduled to work today. The reason stopping me from that was my body. My feet ached from dancing and walking all over the city in those heels all night. My throat was dry as the sand on Tatooine, as my stomach was growling out loudly for some kind of substance. Lastly, my bladder was crying for me to relieve it and that is what had got me out of bed. 

_ Might as well get up at this rate. _

Keeping my eyes closed, I slowly ate my bowl of soup that I had just grabbed as well as a bowl of fruit and some water. I needed something light for my stomach since I had spent this morning cleaning out whatever I ate the night before. It was peaceful and silent in the dining hall which made me happy as my head was pounding. 

“Hey,” D’Laney and Mac shuffled towards me, also nursing their headaches with their own trays of light lunches. “Did you pass out in front of your dorm?” Snorting, she shook her head as Mac smiled behind his sandwich.

“Did you throw up in another pair of shoes?” Biting back a smile, I merely shook my head at her question as they started eating. 

It was silent between the three of us as we all ate silently with only our silverware making the occasional noise. But as all good things must come to an end, our peaceful and quiet afternoon was interrupted by a rather loud greeting by an idiot.

“If you don’t don’t shut up, I will ram this fork in your neck,” D’Laney snapped once the idiot wandered over and dropped into his usual seat.

“We both know you wouldn’t do that to me, as you are madly in love with me,” Gio smirked as he tried snatching her food only for her to smack his hand away. 

“Get your own food dammit!” She snapped as she was not having it with his usual antics this morning. That meant her painkillers hadn’t kicked in yet, so she would be grouchy for the next two hours. 

“I’ll do it,” I volunteered, earning a wounded look from him and a giggle from D’Laney.

“You’re just mean, Meg.”

“You have no idea,” I mumbled as I started to slowly munch on my fruit as the pills had finally kicked in and my headache started disappearing. Gio slowly reached his hand out as he tried swiping my food. “If you even dare try and steal my food, I won’t hesitate to stab you in the eye with my fork and then feed it to you.” 

“Warning noted,” he shivered as the siblings began laughing at how Gio scooted away from me. 

“Good, come near my food or ruin my peace again, I won’t hesitate to do it.” 

“Yes, ma’am!” 

* * *

_ “Mama, why do I have the force?” I asked my mom as we were heading to the medical building as my training for the day had been cancelled as my father was needed in a nearby town for some meeting with the town leaders about some important matters regarding a new secret organization, “it’s odd that you and Dad don’t have it but that I do, why is that, Mom?”  _

_ Being ten and curious about my abilities and where they came from had become a popular topic that I had brought up to both my parents frequently. They had never said much on it, as they said they didn’t know themselves. It made me even more curious about it, and it didn’t really help that my father didn’t even know who his parents were. Whereas my mother’s mom had died when she was young and her father didn’t have the abilities I had.  _

_ “You already know the answer to these questions, Mari, we don’t know how you inherited these special abilities,” my mother answered as she held my hand in hers as we made our way through the bustling market as people went about their day. _

_ “I know, I’m sorry, Mother,” defeated again at not having answers to my origins made me feel melancholy, “I just wish I knew why I have these abilities and what I’m supposed to do with them.”  _

_ My mother stopped walking, turned to me and crouched down to my level as she grabbed me by the shoulders and stared at me with an intense gaze. I’d never seen my mother give this look before as she was always optimistic about things. She never focused on the negative things, only on the bright side of things as she believes that dwelling on the bad things only encourages them to follow. _

_ “Follow your heart as it will never leave you astray, and trust your judgement on what you believe is right. Don’t ever settle on somebody else's opinions, because that can lead to detrimental consequences for you,” she spoke low as she glanced around to make sure that nobody had heard her, nobody knew about my abilities as my parents had insisted on keeping it a secret due as they were afraid that history would only repeat itself.  _

_ “I understand, Mama.”  _

_ “One day, you will leave your Father and I because you play a greater role in the scheme of things that you have yet to even comprehend my dear. Always trust your instincts and be wary of those you trust because not everybody you meet will have good intentions, do you understand?”  _

_ “I won’t ever leave you and Dad! I’ll grow up and take Dad’s spot and become just as smart as Dad!” A half smile made its way to her face as she merely shook her head at me. _

_ “You will my dear, in time you will leave and play your part, do you understand?” _

_ “I understand, Mama.” _

_ “I love you.” _

_ “I love you too.” She placed a kiss on my forehead before she stood and took my hand and we continued our trek to the medical building where she would teach me to sew somebody up as she believed it was a necessary skill to learn. I didn’t think so as it made me squirm at the thought of having to stab somebody with a small needle, it irked me to think that people were capable of doing horrible things like hurting and killing one another.  _


	14. Beg for my touch Kitten

“Dammit!” Kylo seethed as he slammed his fist down on the meeting table, the sound echoed in the small room. It created a large noticeable dent in the table, I knew that I would have to call maintenance to come fix it. Reaching out, I placed a hand on his shoulder as I knew that he was angry about the events that had transpired. 

“We’ll retrieve it, we just have to be patient, Kylo,” this did nothing to soothe his anger as it was laced with his passion, he was blinded by it. I could feel it as it enveloped my entire being, swallowing me whole as it made my legs weak and my heartbeat quicker. 

Grabbing the hand that was on his shoulder, he yanked me towards him. Roughly he pinned me down on the table as one hand held my arm above my head as my other arm laid limp on the table. Biting back the pained moan from his actions, I merely stared at him as he stared back at me with lust and passion in those eyes of his. His breathing was ragged as he was trying to calm himself down, but something in me didn’t want that. _This was dangerous new territory._

“Please…” I didn’t know what I was really begging for but as his rage and passion swirled inside of me, I knew that I wanted what he was willing to offer me. A soft whimper left my lips as I could feel his length through his pants as it was pressed against my leg.

He leaned in close as his lips grazed the shell of my ear as he sniffed my hair, his body barely touching my own. “Tell me what you want, my _apprentice_?” Unconsciously grinding against his length, I let out a soft gasp as he had snapped his hips against mine. 

“ _You,_ ” a breathy moan left my lips as he had nipped at my earlobe. 

Within several seconds, he had my pants down as he stared at my panties with a gleam in his eyes that screamed _predator_. My breath hitched as his fingers traced the lace of my panties, with a smirk he leaned down and used his mouth to tug them off slowly as mischief danced in those dark brown eyes of his. Once they were off, he shoved them into my mouth, before his hands began to trace over my slit barely. He grabbed my thighs as he left a lingering trail of kisses towards my aching center, before he moved to the other one and left another trail of kisses as one of his leathered hands barely grazed my core. Soft moans left my lips as his own brushed against my weeping core. Kylo knew that he was tormenting me, peering down at him with him resting in between my spread legs, I saw the dark promise that was shining in his eyes.

"Ky- hmm!”

He simply smirked at me, as I was unable to protest against his teasing as my panties were stopping me from making too much noise. Kylo moved in between my legs as he pushed his leather covered fingers slowly inside of me, stretching me out. With a low groan, I immediately clenched around his two fingers and this seemed to please him as he thrusted them into me roughly.

“You’re eager for me... you forget, little one, that I can see into your mind just like you can see into mine,” he stated as he breathed on my core with a delicious sigh, “beg for my touch, kitten, do it and I’ll let you cum.” 

Making a deal with the devil would have been so much easier than submitting to Kylo Ren, my Commander and Master. Yet the small pet names coming from those beautiful plump lips of his made me even more aroused as I merely let out a soft whine as he grazed his tongue over my slit with his fingers still inside of me.

The moment his tongue delved into my weeping core, all my senses were thrown into overdrive. Over and over again, his tongue speared into me as I pushed my hips back into that talented tongue of his. He continued thrusting his fingers into me as he drove me closer to the edge where I would ride the waves of pleasure that would follow. But once his lips wrapped around the small, erect nub of my clitoris, my whole body seemed to vibrate against his mouth and my moans rose into elated cries of passion. I could feel myself teetering on the edge of my orgasm before he had ripped his mouth away and shot me a hard stare.

“Shut your mouth or I’ll stop,” he demanded, as I gave into his demands with a slight nod before the door to the conference room slammed open.

Sitting up abruptly out of bed, I grew wide eyed as the events that had transpired came crashing down on me. I didn’t know if it was merely a dream or a force vision, but either way I was very aware of the slick arousal that rested between my legs. Growling in frustration, I ran a hand through my hair as I slid out of bed trying to ignore the fact that I had dreamed of Kylo in a non-professional way. By the maker, I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t the least bit turned on by him as he screamed dangerous. He stroked something inside me, something dark inside me Something about that had me closing my eyes as I reached down, pulled my panties aside and massaged my clit as images of Kylo resting between my legs had me moaning softly. 

Snapping out of my lust filled mind, I snatched my hand away as I scrambled off the bed and towards my bathroom. Running a hand through my hair, I gripped the edges of the sink as I shoved all thoughts of anything unprofessional with Kylo out of my head. It was wrong. He’s my master. 

_Stop. I need to stop thinking about this. I have a lot of work to do today, such as taking care of everyone’s memories and grabbing a drink with a pilot._

* * *

“You look amazing,” Poe complimented me as I settled into the bar stool beside him. “To think you were hiding in that engineer uniform of yours,” he joked as he gestured to the bartender, who immediately brought me a bright pink beverage as well as a shot.

“Thank you,” I smiled at him as I quickly drank the shot and set the empty glass down on the bar top, “so you asked me out for a drink, should I be worried?” He laughed as he fiddled with his small glass.

“No, I was just wanting to get to know you better is all, I wanted to apologize for bringing up your last home like that. It was wrong and I apologize.” 

_Be vulnerable, tease him into believing that you have feelings for him._

Kylo’s advice floated through my mind back when I had to seduce the king to complete my assignment. That’s what I’ll have to do. _Be vulnerable._

“It’s alright, I understand that you were merely trying to be friendly. I shouldn’t have snapped like that, I’m just not that great at opening up to people and all…” Looking over at him, I tossed him a half smile as I schooled my features to form a sad expression. He seemed to buy it as his smirk had dropped and he placed a hand over mine with a reassuring smile.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

“I don’t mind really, I guess it would only make sense to tell you since you have been nothing but kind to me,” a glimmer of hope gleamed in his eyes.

“I insist.” 

_Hook. Line. Sinker._

For the next two hours, he listened to me explain in great detail about how the First Order had come and stormed the base. How they had overwhelmed us and killed every single one but me, who had managed to escape detection. As he drank and listened to me, I had cued the waterworks about how afraid I was watching my fellow members get killed in front of me. Remembering I had to use flirtation and teasing to get him to show that I wasn’t just crying on his shoulder. To show that I had feelings for him. Slowly but surely, his defenses were coming down as well as the walls around his mind. Each shot of alcohol was steadily giving me a higher chance of invading his mind and getting what I needed to complete this mission. 

“W-would you wanna maybe get out of here?” Poe slurred as he looked like he was on the verge of passing out as he had another drink... perfect.

“Yeah, let’s go,” quickly paying the tab, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I helped carry him out of the crowded bar and into the speeder.

It was a total of thirty minutes that I was able to pick through the corners of his mind without alerting him as he tried to stay awake as much as possible. Then another twenty minutes of us stumbling around to his temporary quarters at this base before returning to General Leia’s base. Walking through the door with a drunk Poe wasn’t fun as he had thrown up on my shoes on the way to his room. 

He mumbled about god knows what as I looked around the small room to find anything useful. For ten minutes, I went through everything as he didn’t have much. With a huff, I rummaged through his desk until I had found a small chip. Plugging it into the small datapad he had, I looked over at him to see he had flopped over to his stomach as he was half asleep. 

“Forget that you ever met Megan and go to sleep,” with a smile, I watched as he mumbled it back with a bit of difficulty before he blacked out into his pillow.

Taking pity on the drunk pilot, I dug through my purse for pain pills and placed a trash can right next to his bed. Picking up the datapad, I looked through the information on the chip and smiled. Quickly making a copy onto the chip I had brought, I put everything back into its place and slipped out of his room. 

Holding the chip in my hands, relief flooded through me as I looked at the small device with several emotions. 

_I’m going back home._

* * *

Creeping through the base was difficult as there were still so many people awake even though it was in the early hours of the morning. Cleaning out my dorm and burning everything had caused hesitation in my actions. I had contemplated actually even going through with what was needed to do. I had become compromised slightly. If I were to stay with the resistance then I could find love and maybe even have a family, but if I stayed then I would be breaking my word and would have to fight against Kylo. My deal to Kylo is what had snapped me out of it quickly as I watched all my belongings burn. I was dressed in tight brown pants with a white shirt and a brown leather jacket. My deal of handing myself over to the First Order, that was the cold bucket of water. Now that I had destroyed every part of Megan ever existing on this base, I had to find some way off this planet and to get back to The Order. 

Sitting in a booth in the back of the club, Lod’s, I needed to come up with a plan. This planet was with The Republic, so I had to be very careful or else I’d blow my entire cover and risk death or worse, disappointment from the Supreme Leader and especially Kylo. I didn’t know which one was worse really and I didn’t intend to find out either. 

“It’s you again…” Snapping my head up from my drink, I met the gaze of the stranger I had danced with last weekend.

“Yeah.” Awkwardness crept in as we both stared at one another as he eyed my inappropriate appearance for being in a nightclub.

“You’re alone,” narrowing my gaze at him slightly, my fingers twitched as I wanted to find out what he was hiding as I could sense wariness from him. 

“Yes.” 

“Good,” Then he turned and walked away as he disappeared into the crowd of strangers, leaning back slightly, I wondered just who that man was as my body was telling me to run.

_Always trust your instincts and be wary of those you trust because not everybody you meet will have good intentions, do you understand?_

_Thanks for the advice Mom._

Standing from the booth, I quickly and quietly ditched my drink as I made my way towards the exit of the night club. I would just have to wing this by pretending to be a refugee and make my way slowly back to Starkiller. Even if it killed me. Clutching my jacket closer to me, stepping out of the loud and crowded bar I made my way through the large city towards the public docking bay as I snuck onboard. Hiding behind some crates in the back of the ship, I closed my eyes and let myself sink into my jacket as I was tired. 

* * *

_"Get up and fight, you spineless weasel!" I screamed as I looked down at the stormtrooper who laid on his back, the others were laying on the ground all around me, groaning in pain, as I had beaten them to an inch of their life. The whispers were in my head, whispering to me, I could feel their sharp claws have a strong hold on me as they coaxed me to kill them. Huffing, I glared down at the stormtrooper who was still whimpering in pain after I had nearly stabbed him with my lightsaber._

_"Commander, I have just left the medical bay and have found several of the stormtroopers telling me that you are the cause of it. I have been directed by Commander Ren to tell you to refrain from causing anymore damage,” Officer Lan’ama stated as she stood there staring at me with a tense smile as I could feel fear ooze off of her as she tried hard to disguise her trembling._

_"You can tell Commander Ren that he can shove his lightsaber up his ass," I snapped, deactivating my own weapon I pushed past her leaving the training room._

_As soon as I entered my chambers, I went straight to the bathroom to shower as I reeked of sweat from the hours I had spent beating trooper after trooper. Drying my hair with the towel I set it down on the counter as I took off my bandage, the wound had already turned into a small scar that was barely noticeable. It’s been a few days since the whole training room fiasco with Kylo. I took my frustrations out on the stormtroopers as a way to try and rid myself of this anger._

_Never before had I really been angry with anybody, much less be angry in general. I wasn’t accustomed to feeling so many things before, before becoming an apprentice to Kylo. Never before had I felt so many different emotions in such a short amount of time. The biggest problem I had ever faced was whether to kiss a boy in my own town or in the next town over. I had normal girl problems before all this. I was normal. Now my problems dealt with suppressing the urge to kill my master._

_Wrapping myself in a silk robe, I walked out onto the balcony as it was growing dark already. Pouring myself a glass of red wine, I slowly drank it as I stared up at the small little lights in the sky._

_I used to be normal._

_The words felt foreign in my mind and even more strange saying them aloud. I don’t think I was ever really normal, at least in the more traditional sense of the word. My world had been thrown upside down when I joined the First Order. Even myself. I barely recognized myself in the mirror when I got up every morning. In the time that I have spent immersed in the darkness that the First Order swelled within. I had found myself easily adapting to the dark nature of Kylo and the dark side of the force._

_When did I find myself so comfortable with killing and hurting people? When I was a child, I had found myself bothered just by the fact of somebody hurting another human being. Yet, here I am, killing anybody and everybody in the name of Kylo Ren._

* * *

After I had gotten off the refugee ship, I found that we had landed on the planet called Kijimi, a frigid, mountainous planet located in the Bryx sector of the galaxy's mid rim. I was still far from Starkiller base which was located in the unknown regions. 

Tired and hungry, I found a small inn and took refuge in my room after ordering a meal as I needed to come up with a concrete plan to get back to base. Throwing off my cloak onto the bed, I stretched before I sunk into the small, dingy bed. I didn’t care about the small room as I just really wanted to shower, eat, and then get some much needed sleep as I had ended up waking up several times due to the other passengers trying to rob me. 

A week had passed with me living on Kijimi, I had grown accustomed to the cold after having spent the past five months on the urban populated planet with the Resistance. I had finally ‘found’, and by found I mean stolen, a ship that could take me straight to the First Order. Relieved with the way things turned out, I was happy that I was finally able to make my way back to the Supreme Leader and tell him of my accomplishment of completing the mission. I hoped that this mission would redeem myself in the Supreme Leader’s eyes and replace the disappointment with respect. My letting Ferial escape had damaged not only my ego but made me doubt my abilities as Kylo’s apprentice. Hopefully all my hard work would pay off. 

Throwing my bag of supplies into the passenger seat, I closed the ramp before taking up the pilot’s seat. I appreciated that Kylo had taught me how to pilot a ship, because if it weren’t for him, I’d probably never be able to make my way back towards Starkiller. 

“I’m finally going _home_ …”

  
  
  
  



	15. I'm not alone

“Commander Mari!” Officer Lyon and Lieutenant Bexley greeted me as soon as I had stepped off of the ramp of the ship I had stolen, they both eyed my appearance before they quickly scrambled to attention as they saluted to me with straight stares

“Get me Supreme Leader Snoke now” Brushing passed both of them I made my way towards the communication chamber as my tan leather boots clicked against the the familiar flooring of Starkiller base

  
  


“Supreme Leader” The communication chamber was large, dimly lit and freezing cold. Snoke sat on his throne as his projection flickered to life, bowing in respect as I stared at him. “I have successfully completed my mission regarding collecting the information from the base I was stationed on” 

“Tell me everything” 

For the next two hours I explained everything that had happened in the course of the five months I was gone excluding my short time on Kiijimi, he gave the occasional nod and small sound of approval. Yet the entire time I recounted everything I could feel his deep satisfaction and new found respect. Relief flooded my senses at this. 

He stared at me silently as a large smirk made its way to his face as he nodded, respect shone in his eyes. “You have done exceptionally well Marinette especially with the development in your progress with the ways of the dark side...” Suppressing a shiver at the way he said my name I merely smiled 

“Thank you Supreme Leader,” Pride swelled up in me at his compliment regarding my abilities as a force user 

“I have very high aspirations for you Marinette, I hope you keep that in mind for the future” I could feel him picking through my mind regarding everything that happened in the five months I was gone. The sharp stabbing pain in my head was a reminder that he could access my mind whenever he saw fit. A reminder that I was still weak compared to him.

“I will not fail you Supreme Leader” He left my mind as the pain became a dull ache, biting my lip I breathed through the pain as he stared down at me with a small nod

“I imagine you won’t as you have proven your loyalty to the First Order as you will make your pledge to The Order in front of the entire base as well as our allies” 

“Thank you Supreme Leader, this is a very high honor that you have given me” 

“This will take place in two days as I have already spoken with Commander Ren, General Hux and Captain Phasma as they are all in agreement of your skills and loyalty” Was all he said before the projection had fizzled out leaving me alone in the cold and dark chamber 

Pledge my loyalty? Did they really all give me high remarks? Had I really improved this much since I first joined the Order? Happiness swelled inside my chest as I tried to contain the huge smile that wanted to make its way known on my lips. The urge to see Kylo was growing more before I pinched myself from thinking of these thoughts of him. It was unprofessional for me to think such things of him. 

Swiftly pivoting on my foot, I quickly left the communication chamber and made my way towards my chambers as I missed wearing my old clothes rather than the clothes I wore when I was on the resistance base. The tenseness in my shoulders had disappeared as I passed by stormtroopers and officers who nodded at me in respect. My title as Second in Command had demanded both respect and loyalty, something I had grown accustomed to before departing for my mission. 

Dressed in only black tight pants, a white silk blouse with a black leather corset over it. I stood on the bridge staring out of the windows to the bridge as I waited for General Hux to finish his meeting with his lieutenants and officers. He had returned back to Starkiller almost a month ago after wrapping everything up on the planet Gryle, my organizational skills had helped him tie up all the loose ends. Including that women spy who we had left for General Hux to deal with, who in turn found out was merely a weapon supplier to the Resistance but she had no information that could help us. 

Which meant that one of the Knights had gotten rid of her. The thought should have bothered me but deep down I had felt a sense of satisfaction from it. The feeling had disturbed me but before I could think more on said topic, Hux’s presence had brushed up against my force alerting me of his arrival on the bridge. If it weren’t for me being force sensitive I would have been startled when he stood beside me as he focused his gaze on the window. 

“Commander Mari, may I be the first to congratulate you on welcoming you back to base?” Glancing up at him I met his semi warm gaze. Offering him a smile, his response was his thin lips twitching slightly up into a ghost of a smile. It was the best greeting I was going to get considering we were in the presence of about fifty plus officers and lieutenants working around us. 

“It’s good to be back General Hux” Turning back to look out the large window we both had settled into a small comfortable silence before he spoke up 

“I assume you were successful?” 

“Very, that is actually why I came to see you to inform you of my findings on the little intel mission” 

“And?”

“I wish to wait until Commander Ren comes back from the The Supremacy to tell both of you the information I had found regarding the Resistance and T.A” 

“That is understandable, he shall be returning in a mere couple of hours along with the Knights of Ren” He stated with a small nod

“Private meeting in the war room?” 

“Of course Commander Mari”

“I wish to thank you for believing that I am worthy of becoming a part of The Order” Through the force I felt him become a bit embarrassed and flushed

“Don’t be ridiculous as any common person can see that your skills are rather exceptional and not to mention your loyalty is unwavering”

_ Thank you Armitage as that means a lot to me... _

* * *

_ I thought it was my imagination, that being tired and delirious was what had caused me to see the arguing parents and the boy.  _

**_The Boy_ ** _.  _

_ His long black hair and soft brown eyes flashed in my mind as his freckled complexion flashed in my head. It had been months since I had last seen him that I had almost forgotten about him. Yet he held a narrowed gaze as he held a lightsaber in his hand as he faced off another boy his age who also held a lightsaber in his hand. They seemed to be duelling it seems as they held defensive stances as they sized each other up.  _

_ They stood in the middle of the field again, but this time it was bright and early in the morning as I had come to the tree to mediate before some training with my Father. Instead I had found myself on hands and knees as I peered down at both boys, who hadn’t moved an inch yet. I couldn’t even tell if they were even breathing or not as it seemed like time had froze for the two of them. That was until the blonde boy had said something that I couldn’t hear which seemed to rile up the dark headed boy as he ignited his lightsaber. In a flash he had crossed the distance and attacked him recklessly.  _

_ “Wow…” It felt nice to know that I wasn’t the only force sensitive user in the galaxy, that I was merely one of many. _

**_That I wasn’t alone_ ** _.  _

_ The familiar feeling of happiness swelled within my chest as I watched both boys fight one another, it had me in a trance as their blue and green lightsabers clashed against one another. It was beautiful. Something about watching the both of them fight one another had brought a sense of familiarity as my hand had drifted to my own lightsaber and clutched it as well.  _

**_I’m not alone._ **

* * *

A disturbance in the force is what had brought me out of my meditation state, snapping my eyes open I slowly lowered myself back to the ground. It had entered the system quickly. Once my feet had touched the floor of the training mat, I left the training room and took my time getting to the war room where I was to meet both General Hux and Kylo for a private meeting. 

**_Kylo…._ **

My stomach twisted into knots as I felt queasy at the mere thought of seeing Kylo again after almost six months of being gone. I don’t know why I felt this way, why I felt this burning desire to see him as if I was a kid excited to go see the circus. No. I ignored the way my stomach was doing summer daily’s and how my heart was beating as if it was about to jump right out of my chest. 

Stepping into the war room, the doors immediately closed behind me as I strode over to the large table in the dimly lit room. Taking my seat, I found my body fidgeting as I waited for both General Hux and Kylo to join me in the war room. Running my thumb over the chip in the pocket of my long coat, I tried distracting myself from reaching out through the force and looking for his signature. For several tense moments I sat there in the chair tense as I waited for Kylo to enter through those doors. I felt the sudden urge to fix my hair just to make sure I look presentable. Presentable? When did I care how I look? 

This had nothing to do with Kylo.

Yes. 

No. 

“Commander Mari, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” Snapping out of my thoughts I stood from my chair and turned to see General Hux bowing his head “I hope it wasn’t a long wait” He added 

“I just got here actually General Hux” 

General Hux had stepped further into the room taking his place on the other side of the table but the loud heavy thumps of tall leather boots had my heartbeat quicken as well as my eyes snap towards the doors where they immediately opened. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the sight of seeing him in the flesh after almost half a year. 

Loud thundering set of footsteps had invaded my ears as I felt goosebumps rise all over my arms underneath my black long coat and a shiver down my spine. A tall and huge black shadow glided into the room, he was dressed in black with his cape wrapped around his shoulders and fluttering behind him gracefully. The black mask had a silver lining and around the eyes, black darkness was where his eyes were supposed to be. His shoulders were just as broad as I had remembered and he was standing with a presence that screamed respect and authority. 

“Commander Mari,” His deep synthetic voice came out as a breathless whisper that made my knees buckle as I clenched my leather covered fists at my sides to stop myself from reaching out to him. I felt my heart began thump rapidly against my rib cage

“Commander Ren…” I felt my face grow hot as I quickly averted my gaze from him and focused on the dark colored walls “Now that we are all here I have much to discuss regarding the intel I had gathered, so if you two may take a seat and I can get started” Kylo strode over to his chair where he took his seat with General Hux following in suit, I placed the small chip in the projection disc. 

“When I was stationed on the resistance base I had been given the position of being an engineer where I had complete access to their navigation logs. During my stay there I had met a man named Poe Dameron, a well known pilot for the resistance” I pulled up a hologram projection of said pilot as I placed both my hands on the table and glanced at both men before I had switched the projection “Through certain means I was able to gather critical information that he was carrying back and forth between General Leia and The Republic regarding Ferial, it seems that they had found out about his deception as well” General Hux let out a loud snort which caused me to smile a bit 

“Do they know that we have taken over the planet?” 

“Yes, the destruction of their base was confirmation that we had taken over but they aren’t concerned about us as they are focused on finding Ferial to have him answer for his crimes against The Republic. The Resistance have been looking for him for the past half year as they have been trying to determine his location and the last place they tracked him was the planet Dandoran.” 

“No surprise that he went to the god awful planet” Dandoran was a planet that was home to several smuggling cartels, people went there to disappear.

“I also learned that this mysterious T.A is an enemy of The Republic as they have been trying to gather more intel on them as well but have been failing as they are struggling to keep it under wraps without alerting us of their suspicion behaviour” 

“So The Republic is focusing all their efforts on this organization rather than The First Order? This could be the perfect opportunity to finish them once and for all” General Hux wore a smirk as he stared at the projection of Ferial 

“No it isn’t, because this organization is a threat to us as well. There is no telling what Ferial has been able to discover and report back to them of his own intel, as far as we are concerned this war just gained another army. One that we should be worried about as we have little to nothing of information on them, and I image the Supreme Leader would agree that this war is taking a turn” 

“What do you suggest then Commander Mari?’’ 

“In two day’s time our allies will be making their way here to celebrate my pledge of loyalty to the Order, to the dark side and that is when we shall gather intel regarding this mysterious organization without arising too much suspicion” 

“Your mind is a brilliant one Commander Mari” Flushed at the General’s rare compliment caused me to avert my focus back to the projection

“Thank you for your kind words General Hux” 

The next hour was spent with mostly General Hux and I discussing various plans and tactics to gather information as Kylo merely listened. Not once had he joined in the conversation. The entire time I had masked my feelings as I felt that maybe he was upset with me for my lack of information regarding T.A. It wasn’t until Lieutenant Bexley came and informed both the General and Kylo of certain matters that the Supreme Leader wanted to discuss as he wanted me to rest up. They had both left which left me to make my way to my quarters to retire for the night as I was exhausted. 

* * *

Instead of going to bed and resting like I was supposed to do, my mind made me restless as there was so much I wanted to speak about with Kylo. So instead I ran myself a hot bath that was filled with different oils and salts. Shedding my clothes, I stepped into the large tub with a satisfied groan. Once I sank all the way in, I had sucked in a deep breath, then released it. These past few months had made me tense and I hadn’t realized how much until I sunk into the hot water. 

Leaning my head against the rim of the pristine white tub my eyelids fluttered shut and my thoughts wandered back to what I could remember regarding seeing Kylo when I was on the base. Slowly did I take in every single detail of those memories of seeing Kylo. The thing I focused on most was the vulnerability that he had shown me once I had wrapped my signature around him. Thinking of it made me fill with complete and utter peace. His voice had filled my head the weeks leading up to my departure of leaving the base and to get back to The Order. My mind travelled to the last time I was able to hear his thoughts. 

_ Staring down at the ship’s diagnostics from the datapad, I looked through it as I knew that I had to get the main systems online first before being able to move onto the smaller issues. Setting the datapad down in my work station, I was fetching the tools I needed for the job when I grew wide eyed as I whipped my head looking for the source of the voice. _

**_‘Grandfather, what would you have done…? Did you go through this when you destroyed yourself and became a great Sith? To save her?’_ **

_ With my heart racing I recognized the deep baritone voice that had a certain edge to it. That voice was now echoing through my mind, as I had easily identified it to belong to none other than Kylo. Was he here again? No. He was in my head once more, his voice had swept through my mind like a tornado. It felt good to hear the familiar voice but his thoughts were laced with small touches of fear and uncertainty. This was unusual for Kylo, I had never ever detected hints of any other emotion than rage, passion, determination, irritation, and pride. So me hearing fear and insecurity had thrown me off guard as I wanted to reach out and reassure him, but I couldn’t because he wasn’t here. Nor was I with him. This made me upset for being unable to be with him.  _

**_‘I will finish what you started...I will do what needs to be done, even if it means taking up the oath’_ **

Dressed in a white nightgown, I picked up my black silk robe and wrapped it around me as I left my hair down, a rare thing I ever did. Stepping out onto the balcony into the frigid cold air as I stared out into the white nothingness as tall, skinny trees surrounded the base for miles. Leaning against the balcony railing, I wondered what Kylo had meant by those words as I was worried about him. What had he meant by taking up the oath? What oath is he talking about? With a sigh, I released it as I knew that there was no use dwelling on these thoughts until I saw the lightsaber wielding ex jedi again. Which most likely wouldn’t be for a while as we had both just arrived back on starkiller after being gone for so long. 

A knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts, closing the balcony doors behind me I wondered if I was needed. It wasn’t uncommon for an Officer to wake me late at night regarding orders from the Supreme Leader. Yet once I opened the door I found myself staring right at the man who had been plaguing my thoughts the last several months, the man who was my closest ally and yet we were still so distant from one another. 

“Kylo....”


	16. No matter where you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the notes at the end please :)

“Kylo…” It was a breathy sigh as I stared at the black and chrome helmet that hid a man with so many secrets that I desperately wanted to know underneath 

“May I come in?” Stepping aside he strode past me deeper into my quarters, he must have known I was super nervous but chose not to say anything. The doors closed as I followed him down the hall and into my living room. 

In a swift motion he took off his helmet and set it down on the small table with his back turned to me, I took the small opportunity to collect myself as I didn’t know what to say to him. Yet as I stood not even less than ten feet away from him, I found myself articulate in his presence as my mind went into overdrive. For months I desired to be in the same room with him again, there was so much I wanted to talk to him about. There was so much I needed to know about him, about the force, about whatever was going on between us. My death vision still hung over us like a thick grey cloud, one I wanted to ignore but Kylo was determined to prevent. 

“Marinette,” He turned towards me with an unreadable expression “You’re back” 

“Yes I am,” Chewing on the side of my cheek I took a couple of steps closer to him “There is so much I have been wanting to say to you in this last half year, in my time away from you I have learned so much and yet I still have so many questions. One of them being that I had seen you when I was with the Resistance, but how is that even possible?” 

He took a step forward. “You must be talking of our force bond” 

**_Force bond?_ **

The man cloaked in darkness, the creature in my dreams, the one who asked for my hand, the one who told me that we share a force bond. That he would tell me everything if I took his hand. Was that Kylo? Has it always been him appearing in my dreams? 

“It was you, wasn’t it…? In my dreams?”

“Those weren’t dreams, every time you went to sleep our bond transported you to a separate plane dimension where only you and I can travel to. It was then that I would visit you as you slept.” 

“Why?”

He stopped for a minute as if he was thinking before he shook his head “Not yet”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“It’s not the right time,” He paused “I will tell you in the future though” 

_ Of course, he’s still hiding secrets from me. _

“What is a force bond?” 

“A force bond is a powerful connection that connects two individuals who are force sensitive , uniting both people in a psychic link regardless of the physical distance between them, both users would appear in the other’s location at the same time The bond allows us to communicate with each other across great distances as it bridges our minds together which allows us to communicate through the force visually and emotionally.” 

There was still so much I needed to know about the force and our supposed bond as it answered several questions but it also brought up several more 

“You’re powerful with the force, still untrained but the potential is there. As your skills begin to grow our powers become  amplified as the bond between us grows stronger with every passing moment. As you get stronger we’ll be able to see, hear and feel one another through our bond.” Kylo closed the distance between us, our bodies were barely touching one another. Craning my head up to meet his steely gaze, I swallowed the lump in my throat as his hot breath fanned over my face. 

“What does this mean for  _ us  _ then?” It felt right saying the word us as I tried biting back the blush that wanted to appear on my face 

“No matter where you are I’ll always make my way back to you,” He cupped my face, I could feel his warmth through the leather gloves he always wore. He stared at me with several emotions swirling in those brown eyes of his, one of them being  _ vulnerability _ as I could feel him slowly dropping his defenses “I promise” 

My heart fluttered at the promise he made, he leaned down and pressed the warm skin of his forehead against mine. His hands moved from my face to the back of my head tangling his long fingers into my hair. Kylo’s hands shook slightly as he touched me, as if he was afraid that he would break me.

“ _ Kylo… _ ” Reaching up I placed both my hands on his broad shoulders and fisted them in his cloak. “I trust you” It came out as a whisper as I let my instincts take over and watched as his hold on me tightened. 

My thoughts then wandered back to the visions of my death that were supposed to take place in the future. I wondered if I was to die then did that mean that I was too weak to stay at his side? To be able to proudly represent the First Order as I fought alongside Kylo on the frontlines? Kylo felt what I was feeling as I squeezed my eyes shut, burying my face into his chest. He felt my doubts and fears through the Force. He wrapped his signature around me like a big warm blanket as his hands slipped around my waist. Gasping slightly from the new form of contact, I peered up at him through my lashes. 

**You’re safe.**

Kylo’s voice echoed in my head, feeling the heat in my cheeks I buried my head back into his chest. Sinking into him after taking a deep breath through my nose, I allowed my defenses to come down as well. Through the force we focused on one another as we stood in my dimly lit quarters in the middle of my living room. I don’t know how much time went by, but not once did I feel self doubt about my abilities or my skills as a force user. 

I felt  **_safe._ **

* * *

“You’re getting better” Kylo’s voice echoed in the large training room as I dropped my arm to my side with my lightsaber hanging limp in my hand “It seems that you trained while you were away”

“Of course,” Panting I deactivated my lightsaber as I glanced over at Cardo who stood tall and firm but through the force I could feel his exhaustion from our duel that ended in a draw rather then with my ass on the floor “Just because I was on an assignment doesn’t mean I am going to allow myself to fall behind in my training” 

“That’s enough training for today as you should get cleaned up as tomorrow will be a busy day for you” The Knights of Ren all filed out of the training room quickly leaving Kylo and I behind. 

“I still have things to take care of on the bridge” Steadying my racing heart I watched as Kylo, dressed in mask and all walked towards the doors before stopping with his back to me 

“I will be finishing them as per instructed by the Supreme Leader, your orders are to prepare for tomorrow” 

“Thank you Master” I watched him stiffen slightly which caused me to furrow my eyebrows in question. 

“See to it that you are well rested and prepared for tomorrow” With his cape billowing behind him he left me alone in the training room as I stood dumbfounded. 

  
  


Sinking myself further into the hot bath water, I shut my eyes closed as I let the hot water soothe my aching muscles. Muscles I hadn’t used in the time I was with the resistance. It was absolutely wonderful to get back into the training room and duel against one of the Knights. I never fought against Kylo, he believed that once I was completely trained that we would step into the ring together. 

_ Together. _

Last night’s events brought a blush to my face as I let out a groan or embarrassment. Covering my face with my hands I let my mind focus on last night’s events on what had transpired between Kylo and I. I must have fallen asleep in his arms as I have no recollection of how I woke up in bed without my robe, which I was clearly wearing last night over my nightgown. Not to mention the fact that his signature was still wrapped around me this morning when I had woken up late.

“What am I doing?” When he had requested to see me this morning in the training room I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t brought up the moment of vulnerability he had displayed in front of me last night. Kylo returned to the reserved cloaked killer that I had met back almost a year ago.

There was still so much that I wanted to know about the force, about the dark side, about him. I desired to know more about my fellow apprentice, to know how he had gone from being a powerful jedi to the prince of darkness. I guess Prince would be the more proper title for him considering his Mother was a Princess and his grandmother a Queen. I wonder what it was like to come from such a famous and heroic family like the Skywalker’s? A family that was so well known throughout the entire galaxy. To have so many expectations to live up to being the son of a princess and a war hero, the nephew to a Jedi Master, the grandson of a great Sith Lord and a Queen/Senator of the Republic. His family was filled with public and famous figures that were celebrated throughout the galaxy. In one way or another that is.

Sinking myself further into the water, I wrapped my arms around my legs drawing them to my chest laying my head on top of my knees. Letting out a soft sigh I watched as the large bubbles in my bath slowly moved around in the water, softly blowing on the water I watched as the water began to ripple. My fingers and toes began to become pruny but I didn’t care as the water was still boiling hot as my skin was that of a pinkish hue. 

* * *

Pledging my loyalty to the First Order wasn’t supposed to be this extravagant event, but the Supreme leader had other ideas. Snoke wanted to show me off as I was his new shiny toy to flaunt his power and influence to his allies to keep them in line. It’s only been ten months since I made the deal with Kylo and since then I have more than proven myself to everybody that I am more than capable of being on the frontlines at Kylo’s side fighting. 

Staring at myself in the huge trifold mirror I stood on the small pedestal as my hands brushed over the many skirts of my dress.The dark red velvet dress consisted of a corset top with a sweetheart neckline as the skirts of the gown were soft tulle with onyx and rubies dusted all over the bottom of the dress. My hair was pulled into an intricate bun with small ruby pins in my hair as my makeup consisted of smokey eyes and red lips. A choker that was covered in small black diamonds was wrapped snugly around my throat with matching earrings dangling off my ears. A long black cloak rested over my bare shoulders that had First Order’s symbol on it in stark white as it rested in my back.

Stepping out of my room, my mind went immediately into autopilot as all six Knights surrounded me as they led me outside of Starkiller base. Once we walked into the frigid air of the snowy planet I now understood why I was given the cloak, as I just thought it was a way to show that I belonged to the First Order. I knew what I was to say, I’d rehearse it over and over in my head the past few days as I knew that there was no room for mistakes. My pledge would be taking place in front of everybody that fought and supported for the First Order.

The Knights of Ren stopped at the bottom of the steps leaving me to climb up the steps on my own. Supreme Leader Snoke stood tall with General Hux standing beside Commander Kylo Ren with Captain Phasma standing on Snoke’s other side in her shining chrome suit. Picking up the skirts of my dress, I was careful that my black heels didn’t slip on the ice covered stone steps, walking up the many steps and standing in front of him I bowed my head before kneeling down on one knee in the numbing snow as I stared up at Snoke who smirked at me with a dark glimmer in his own eyes.

“We are all gathered here to witness Second in Command Marinette pledge her loyalty to The First Order, to pledge her loyalty to me as Supreme Leader” Snoke’s voice boomed for all to hear him “She will fight for The First Order and become an authoritative member of the order as she will fight alongside Kylo Ren” Glancing at both men that stood beside them, they held their heads high as they stared out into the sea of fighters and our allies that were also dressed in rich fabrics and beautiful jewels

Blocking out Snoke’s speech I stared at the stark white snow covered ground as I tried blocking out the piercing cold wind that nipped at my bare arms and my face. Letting out a shaky breath I sniffed as I knew what was to come next once his long and arduous speech was over as I just wanted to get this over with and get back into the warmth of the base. Warmth began to seep into my skin and into my bones as I felt the all too familiar signature cloak around me, sneaking a glance over at the man dressed in all black. I watched as his helmet was tilted towards me ever slightly, tilting my head up I flashed him a quick smile in appreciation. 

Tearing my gaze from Kylo, I focused my attention back onto Snoke as he finished his speech. Standing tall with my shoulders squared I took off my leather gloves and traded them for the small dagger. Kylo appeared beside me, taking the dagger I cut the palm of my hand as I bit my tongue from wincing in pain. Kylo followed my actions, we split our blood into our respective goblets before we traded them with one another.

“I, Marinette, pledge myself to The First Order. To surrender and relinquish all rights to our Supreme Leader. To give every part of my being to the destruction of the Resistance, The Republic and anybody who dares to step in our way.” I stated loudly as I faced Kylo who had already turned to me. Kylo’s large and bare hand took my own cold small hand in a tight but comforting grip with a mixed expression. Clearing my throat I let my unwavering confidence spill out of me and into Kylo and Snoke, as I knew the words that were about to leave my lips were nothing but the hard brutal truth I had found myself accepting. Looking into his eyes, I stared at him with adoration and admiration “I vow my mind, body and soul to Kylo Ren, I vow as your apprentice to use my abilities as a force user to follow you into every battle and to stay by your side until I draw my last breath.  I will follow you everywhere in this galaxy or the next, I won't ever abandon you. I will follow you down whatever path you choose  ” It was through the force that I felt his happiness and respect as he was still wrapped around me warding the cold away from my body

“Drink” Entwining our arms together I brought the goblet to my lips as I tried not to gag as the blood entered my mouth and flowed down my throat. We handed the empty goblets to our respected allies being Captain Phasma and General Hux. With an appreciative smile, Captain Phasma gave me my gloves back before Kylo and I faced the mass of allies and supporters who waited in bated silence for Snoke to continue “We welcome Commander Marinette into our ranks as one of our own to bring the First Order’s enemies to their knees” Everybody broke out into cheers as I smiled keeping my head held up high

Stepping out into the balcony that overlooked the entire ballroom where high ranking officers, lieutenants and our guests chatted and mingled with one another. Silence swept over the entire room as soon as we stepped out into the light with Kylo and Captain Phasma at my sides with General Hux next to Kylo. The Knights of Ren lingered behind the four of us, standing just as tall and proud in their black robes and their respective masks. 

We were a symbol of the Order, a symbol that we were powerful and that we were Snoke’s personal warriors.To our allies, this whole celebration was merely just a formality that Snoke wanted to reassure them that their unwavering support and faith in him as their Supreme Leader was justified. But today, they also got a glimpse of Snoke’s secret weapon.

**_Me._ **

Everybody bowed their heads in respect, but through the force I felt their relief and happiness as the fact that I was believed to be the turning point in the war. Our allies were entirely devoted to praising the First Order and Snoke as we protected them from the Republic. Supreme Leader Snoke had already left to get back to his own ship the Supremacy as he didn’t take comfort in the idea of having all of us in the same place at one time. Which made sense. Taking a glass of champagne from one of the servers I stepped forward, lifting my glass into the air with a bright smile I watched as they all followed my action.

“A toast to our Supreme Leader,” My gaze swept over everybody “to honor him for showing us the right path into the dark side to bring a new age without The Republic to stand in our way. To let the past die and bring in a new era of power and rule to the galaxy” Loud cheering and claps were heard before everybody took a long sip of the fruity tasting drink 

The next couple of hours were spent in a blur as royals and politicians would come up to me and congratulate me on my joining the Order.The Knights of Ren were posted at the entrances of the ballroom in case we were to be attacked, which left me on my own as General Hux was making his way around the ballroom entertaining our guests. By entertaining I mean gathering information on Ferial and T.A. Captain Phasma had retired as she didn’t like parties or really people in general. Kylo had left my side to attend to private matters but that was a long time ago.

An older looking man had stood out as he had been staring at me most of the night from a safe distance. His bright blue eyes staring intently at me as I felt exposed without the safety of the cloak I had worn as General Hux had taken it from me as it was really warm in the dimly lit ballroom. The hairs on my arm stood on end as I felt his eyes rake over my body, glancing in his direction I watched as he had finally summoned up enough courage to make his way towards me. 

He smiled at me after he said my name, as it rolled off of his tongue in a sickly sweet way. Biting back the bile that threatened to rise up my throat, I smiled back as I let him take my hand and place a kiss on the back of it. I mentally thanked Captain Phasma for insisting I keep the leather gloves on throughout the party. 

“You’re a rose among thorns” His comment did nothing but remind me of the bastard Ferial as he had given me a similar comment when we had first met back on Gryle

“Thank you for the compliment” I hid my disgust and how uncomfortable I was as I didn’t want to risk pissing off one of our allies and have them pull their support from the Orde

“I was hoping to ask you for a dance, Commander,”  _ Somebody kill me  _ “That is if you know how to as you are probably too busy training to worry about silly matters as dancing” There was a slight edge to his voice as he was hoping to goad me into accepting the small challenge. Unlike Kylo, I had more self control then to give into such trivial things as pride and vanity. 

“Actually I was about to fetch myself a drink as I’m very parched after greeting all of the guests” 

“Let me” Before I could protest he had disappeared into the sea of people leaving me alone once more. Not that I was complaining though as I was more than happy that he had left me alone. Moving from the edge of the dance floor, I made my way towards the edge of the party where I hoped nobody would bother me. 

“I hope I didn’t keep you long” 

_ For Kriffing sake... _

He appeared right in front of me once more wearing a charming smile as he held two glasses of expensive champagne. Dammit, he must have followed me and I didn’t even realize it. He held one out to me, internally sighing I took the damn drink and cradled it in my hands. 

“Of course not,” He had looked at my glass and then at me with narrowed eyes, I wondered why he was acting so suspicious. Remembering what had happened with Ferial I kept my guard up as I didn’t want a repeat of that night, which meant I had to deal with the pretentious snob all by myself. “Thank you for the drink” 

_ Why do I end up with the creeps and weirdos?  _

“Commander Mari” Kylo in all his glory strode over to us as all the guests parted for him. His black leather boots stomping towards us as I wondered what had him so upset. 

“Master Ren, what can I do for you?” Kylo merely flinched but he had covered it well as he must have noticed how uncomfortable I was. 

“I was merely checking up on you to discuss with you our plans for tomorrow regarding the assignment we had discussed the other day” Underneath that mask of his I knew that he must have been glaring at the man who wore a cocky smirk 

“Commander Ren, it’s a party!” He exclaimed as he waved his hand towards the entire ballroom and it’s occupants “Don’t you think that your apprentice could have a night to relax and unwind? To celebrate her pledge of joining the right side of the war?”

“She belongs to me,” His voice had dropped a few octaves as he leaned in towards the man “Or do you not remember her publicly announcing herself as  _ mine _ ?” 

Something about the way he called me his, as he was staking his claim on me brought something darker out inside of me. A darkness I didn’t realize I had. His assertiveness was threatening. Scanning his built and muscled body, his shoulders were drawn together in tenseness. Kylo stood tall, firm and was covered head to toe in black as he refused to back down to this snake. He had this crackling energy radiating from him so thick it was nearly tangible. It was a furious urgency, full of power. Just like his lightsaber, he was just as unpredictable, chaotic and reckless. He was **_powerful_** _._ He was **_dangerous_**.

“She may be your apprentice but she is free to have some fun, especially on a night like this celebrating the fact that she is our secret weapon to winning this war. Unlike Jedi, she is allowed to have some fun...” 

**_Wrong choice of words._ **

It didn’t take a genius to realize when Kylo was irritated, much less angry, as the twitching of his fingers was a clear indication that he wanted to separate the man’s head from his body in one swift flick of his wrist with his lightsaber. I was tempted to let Kylo commit the act of violence it weren’t for the fact that we were in a social setting with our guests. And that I wanted to be the one to do it as it was me being the one he was discussing. The way he spoke about me as if I was just some form of entertainment for him, as if I were nothing more than for him to put his cock inside of. 

Placing a hand on Kylo’s arm I stood beside him as I stared at the side of his mask, gripping the black fabric of his robes I poured my own energy into him in hopes to calm him down. 

**Don’t cause a scene here, Supreme Leader wouldn’t be too happy with us if we were to scare our guests**

**He needs to learn his place**

**Do it when we don’t have a ballroom filled with aristocrats and politicians. I’ll lure him away alright?**

Underneath my tight grip he had relaxed as he let me sooth his anger to where he was only mildly annoyed, and by mildly I mean he didn’t have the urge to commit murder. Glancing towards the still smirking politician I offered him a pleasant smile. He flicked his gaze down towards me as that smirk only grew wider.

“I’d love to partake in some other activities with you later but only if you promise to keep from aggravating my Master” Blinking at him innocently I nodded to Kylo who was trying to not get angered at the disrespect that this sleazeball was giving to both of us “Meet me in the war room later”

“You have my word” With those parting words he tossed a smirk at Kylo before he disappeared leaving the two of us at the edge of the festivities. Thanks to the dimly lit ballroom we were hidden away in plain sight as everybody was dancing, drinking and making business arrangements with one another. 

**Are you alright?**

**I will be**

His deep baritone voice inside my head brought a delicious shiver to dance down my spine at the dark intentions that hid behind those small little words. That small darkness in me only grew as my rapidly beating heart wanted to jump right out of my chest. His deep synthetic voice had my knees weak and my stomach knot up in twists, and the way his words of possession had such an effect on my body. 

**_What is wrong with me?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was over 4200 words. I had said that I was going to only make each chapter 2500 words but with each chapter I end up writing more then I intend to such as with this chapter. Anyways, please leave a comment and a kudos. For thoses who don't know you can find me on wattpad as well under the same user. I have recieved messeges from people asking about this as they like to stick to one platform to read their stories. I hope this helps as I want to make it easier for you guys to read. All of my stories are up to date on both platforms.


	17. Be a good girl for me?

_ Anticipation wracked my body as I couldn’t wait to see  _ **_her_ ** _ , the pretty thing that was the main focus of my thoughts since I had left her on that godforsaken planet. Only for the Resistance to claim her, something had awakened in me. Something more dark as he found himself ignoring the higher ups as he wanted to desperately to see the source of his  _ **_fixation._ ** _ The pretty little thing that was a spitfire. His spitfire.  _

_ As soon as I had entered the war room, there she stood. Her heart shaped face covered in a soft blush, her striking dark eyes staring at me with relief, conflict, and longing. Her soft pink lips were turned into a soft smile. I hadn’t meant to breath her name out but the way she blushed was worth the mistake. It was hard for me to watch her throughout the entire meeting as I just wanted to pull her against me. To hold her. That emotion of longing in her eyes mirrored my own, except she had remainders focused on the task at hand. My fingers itched to reach out and pull her against me, to grab her by her face and memorize it until it was the only thing I could remember.  _

Fuck. 

When I explained to her about our bond, she didn’t seem afraid but more relieved by the revelation. I wasn’t expecting her to remember that it was I who visited her dreams, that it was I who had offered her my hand and asked her to join me. She looked so lost when she stood there, her hair back to the white blonde that it was before. The color I was used to. I couldn’t help but reach out to touch her, to bring her into my arms. To hold her just to make sure she was really there and not just through the force. I held her to reassure the both of us that we weren’t alone, that we were connected and that we had each other. Burning my face into her hair, I inhaled her scent. She smelt of roses, vanilla, and a hint of strawberries. 

“You must be relieved that she is back”  _ Vicrul  _

“I’m surprised we didn’t get whiplash from the way he piloted the ship”  _ Trudgen _

“This is bound to be fun to watch”  _ Ap’lek _

“We can discuss this later as the Supreme Leader is waiting for us outside”  _ Cardo _

_ My pretty thing _ vowing herself to me. 

She looked beautiful, the way she walked out with my brethren surrounding her. Standing in the frigid air of the planet we were based on didn’t seem to affect her as she knelt down on one knee. She didn’t show signs of her being cold but I could feel it. I could feel the harsh cold seep into her bones, as she suppressed her shivers. Wrapping my signature around her, I poured my energy into her, to warm her up as Snoke spoke to the audience.  _ She smiled.  _ It was quick but it was still a smile as she focused her attention back to the ceremony. Taking my spot next to her, I followed the requirements of it silently. Holding the silver goblet that contained the dark liquid that was her blood, made me twitch as it reminded me of her blood in the snow. In the premonition. 

Pushing those thoughts away, I stared at the young women before me. She held adoration and admiration in her eyes as well as confidence, “I vow my mind, body and soul to Kylo Ren, I vow as your apprentice to use my abilities as a force user to follow you into every battle and to stay by your side until I draw my last breath. I will follow you everywhere in this galaxy or the next, I won't  _ ever abandon you _ . I will follow you down whatever path you choose” 

She just pledged herself to me. Pledged to never leave me.  _ To never abandon me. _ It took everything to bury the extent of my feelings inside as I watched her pretty lips curve into a smile as she batted her eyelashes at me. Swallowing thickly, we continued the ceremony as I vowed to see her once she was alone. 

* * *

Kylo and I had slipped out of the ballroom without anybody noticing as we took refuge in the war room with bandages wrapped around our hands from where we had slit our palms. It was a reminder that we had made a blood oath, Snoke’s idea that I had secretly found arousing. Not that I would ever admit that aloud. Pushing those thoughts away I kept my gaze on Kylo, who stood in front of the large window with his back to me. His helmet on the table. The silence between the two of us was a comfortable one. I allowed him to push his energy into me as I could feel him looking through my head. It didn't hurt when he did it. I didn’t need to bring my defenses down either as he was able to slip through due to our bond.

_ Our force bond.  _

He hadn’t told the Supreme Leader of it and I was relieved as I didn’t want to even think of what he would do with this piece of information. Kylo insisted that we keep our bond a secret, which I was more than happy to comply with.  **_It was our little secret._ **

“You partied and danced with strangers” His voice was firm “Why?”

“I did what I had to do to complete the assignment, you already know the answer to this'' He was searching through my memories of the past almost six months. At first I didn’t want to but I had found myself giving into him and his childish request. 

“I saw you dance with that man” I wonder what else he had been able to see, just what had he seen when I was with the Resistance

“Ah yes, I never got his name” Shrugging I leaned back in my seat as I didn’t care that I had never got his name, it was easier to detach myself from that life.

“He’d run once he found out just what you were capable of” 

_ That is very accurate.  _

“You sound amused by this” Standing from my seat I leaned against the table

“It just seems that you have a way of catching the attention of many suitors is all” He said dryly but I could hear the irritation in his tone 

“You seem upset by the idea of ‘suitors’ trying to gain my affection” It was supposed to be a joke to lighten the tense mood 

His response was only his leathered fists tightening at his sides, Kylo swiftly turned around on his heels with his cape billowing behind him like a looming dark shadow. Stalking towards me, I found myself trapped against the table as his hands slammed on either side of me onto the table. His piercing gaze froze me in my spot as I felt my knees buckle underneath my weight as I could hear the blood rushing to my ears. Gripping the edge of the cold table, I couldn’t find myself to look away from him much less push him away from me.

“You have no need for suitors now that you belong to the First Order” His voice was a husky whisper as lust swirled in those dark eyes of his “You belong to me, don’t forget that” 

“That’s impossible for me to forget the vow I made to you” The words tumbled off of my lips before I could stop myself, the close proximity of his body basically pushed up against mine didn’t help. Lust was clouding my judgment. The small voice that was telling me to run from him was being drowned out by the insane part of me that screamed for me to jump in head first. In whatever this was between us. Our eyes locked together as our attention was wrapped up in one another, I placed my hands on his firm shoulders and yanked him closer to me. Pushing his body up against mine, his hands roamed down my figure before they stopped at the back of my thighs. In a blink of an eye he had hoisted me up onto the table, nudging my legs apart he inserted himself in between them. 

“So this is why you were furious with me wanting her to spend the night in my bed” Snapping our heads to the door, there stood the man from before who had purposely disrespected Kylo and I as he was an arrogant bastard. 

“It’s disrespectful to make a lady wait” Kylo’s hand traced my spine in a relaxed lazy motion, leaning my head against his chest I relaxed against him. “Take a seat” Kylo used the force to pull out a chair for him, the man narrowed his eyes at him but complied with his demand. 

“I came to spend time with that hot thing that is clinging onto you, not you, Kylo” He sniped as he glared at Kylo with disdain, he purposely didn’t use his title as he spoke with him as if they were familiars

“You shouldn’t speak about a lady like that” 

“What are you going to do about it? You can’t kill me as I’m under the protection of our Supreme Leader so why don’t you hand her over to me and we’ll be on our way to my quarters” It didn’t come as a surprise to me as he talked about me like I was some sex toy, the First Order’s employers and allies were male dominated and most women were used as sources of pleasure. He believes me to be one of them. 

“You won’t ever lay a finger on her,” He snapped “She belongs to me so I suggest you keep your disgusting thoughts to yourself” 

“If I don’t?” 

_ Rookie mistake. _

**Be a good girl for me?**

**Yes Master**

“ _ Good girl _ ” Pinching my chin with his thumb and pointer finger he moved my head to the side giving him better access to my neck. Kylo leaned in and inhaled slowly as his nose brushed against the expanse of my neck,“You smell  _ delicious _ ” Something wet was trailing up my neck dangerously slow before his teeth nipped at the patch of skin behind my ear. Gasping softly I screwed my eyes shut as I found myself giving into him so quickly. A fire ignited in my stomach as one of his hands had grabbed the other side of my neck and squeezed it. 

I whimpered “K-Kylo…” 

“Yes?” 

Flashes of my dream with his head buried in between my legs with his tongue inside of me, my hands pulling at those soft tendrils of hair. Squeezing my legs shut I hoped it would alleviate the aching need I had for Kylo. He was in my mind like a phantom as he saw the vivid images of my wet dream I had of him a couple weeks prior. Hiking my dress up to where it barely covered my panties, his cold leather gloves rubbed up and down the top of my thighs. Goosebumps formed where his hand grazed over my flesh.

Grunts came not too far from us, snapping my head towards the source of the sound I met the gaze of an angered but aroused man. I had completely forgotten he was there. His eyes were focused on what Kylo was doing to my body as he was drinking in the sight of me on the table, exposed and ready for Kylo to take me in any manner he wanted. Hesitation filled my body as I didn’t particularly like the idea of this vile man seeing my body in such a compromising position. 

“Your beautiful body is for my eyes only” He murmured before placing a soft kiss on my neck “I won’t let him see this little slit of yours, as it belongs to me” Kylo nipped at my neck 

Swallowing thickly “I trust you” He responded by enveloping his signature around me to coax me into relaxing as I didn’t realize that I had tensed up. I began whimpering as his hands were rubbing circles on the inside of my thighs. His hot breath on my ear was filling my head with thoughts of how it would feel against my pussy. 

Slowly his fingers inched towards my lace covered sex, my slick arousal was already evident and he knew that I was dripping wet with need. Letting out a soft whine as his fingers barely grazed me, I stopped myself from bucking my hips towards his fingers. His touch was leaving my skin on fire. Glancing up at him I watched as he had a cocky smirk on his face as he peered down at me with amusement. A soft plea left my lips, kneeling down he hooked his long fingers into the waistband of my panties. 

“Up” Lifting myself off the table, it took him two seconds to take them off. He smirked as he brought them to his nose and took a long sniff. “You smell delectable, I wonder if you’ll taste just as appetizing” Stuffing my black panties in his pocket, his hands spread my legs out wider as his fingers drew lines up and down my outer lips. The ache grew stronger as I waited with bated breath for him to continue his ministrations. 

“Please Kylo…”

“Tell me what you want” 

_ It was a simple demand. _

“Please touch me already”

“I am touching you” Biting back a growl of frustration I knew that if I wanted to cum then I would have to comply to the arrogant prick’s demands. 

“Please make me cum” 

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” Grabbing my hips he yanked me towards the edge of the table as he eyed my dripping cunt with eagerness. Without warning he shoved three fingers inside of me, a low gruntled moan left my lips as I threw my head back slightly. “You’re so tight and wet…my pretty thing” I wasn’t surprised about him knowing that tidbit of information, he picked and prodded at my mind whenever he got the chance. 

Kylo's chest rose and fell as he fingered me. Clutching to the edge of the table, I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I felt my blood grow hot and my pulse picked up. My breathing became ragged as soon as he used a fourth finger to rub my clit in small circles, my hands immediately flew to his shoulders with my fingers digging into his cloak. 

“F-faster” Kylo began ramming his fingers into me, his other hand buried itself in my thigh as his fingers were bruising my flesh. It was sure to leave marks. Kylo found that small spot inside of me as I cried out, I could feel my walls tightening around him, as each thrust of his fingers brought another wave of pleasure. He leaned into my ear whispering those words “Do you wanna cum?” I cried out a garbled yes as I snapped my eyes shut as I could feel my orgasm coming fast and swift. 

“Who do you belong to?” 

“Y-you”

“Louder”

“Kylo!” It was a loud whine, he hooked one of my legs around his waist

“I’m your Master,” He snarled in my ear before he nipped at it earning another cry from me “Nobody gets to touch you understood?” Nodding another groan left my lips as all my mind was focused on was my sweet release

Stroking my clit faster, his wrist snapping with each thrust of his fingers. His movements became rough and urgent, as my body clung to his as the knot in my lower abdomen tightened as I could feel my orgasm approaching head on. My walls were pulsing around his three fingers, short low groans escaping from low in my throat, his thumb pressing into my small nub. 

“Do you see how she responds to my touch?” Kylo’s focus was on the man as arrogance oozed from his tone, “So responsive to my touch, so beautiful and all mine” 

There were no romantic feelings behind his behavior, not in the slightest. No. This was about staking his claim to me. Kylo Ren didn’t share. He didn’t like the fact that other men desired me, that they wanted to bed me. All night their thoughts filled both our heads of the things that they wanted to do to me. It was easy for me to ignore as I was trained with patience and self-control but Kylo on the other hand had taken the bait and this was the result of it. This act was to remind me that I belonged to the Order, but mainly him as he was my  _ Master _ . My blood vow to him made it official. Even now I could hear my declaration of never abandoning him on repeat inside that beautifully chaotic mind of his. 

“Dammit Kylo” I swore as he was wrapped up in this display of proving his dominance to this creature called a politician 

“Cum for your  _ Master _ ” 

Those four words had sparked something within me as the tight knot had snapped as Kylo’s name slipped past my lips in pure ecstasy. A bright white light flashed as my eyes snapped shut before shoving my face into his black robes. Complete bliss enveloped my body as I came brutally on him, shuddering my walls clamped around his fingers that were still buried inside of me. Panting I tried to catch my breath as I came down from my high, a low growl of approval resonated deep from his throat. He slowed his ministrations until he pulled out of me completely, my essence covered his leather covered fingers. 

Flushed, I watched in fascination as he raised his fingers to his mouth, winking at me as he began lapping up my orgasm. His dark eyes twinkled in amusement as he knew exactly what I was waiting patiently for. I anxiously waited in anticipation of his verdict, my small hand wrapped around his and pulled his fingers from his pink plump lips with a small smack as a thin string of saliva connected his lips to his fingers. 

“Ravishing” A thin sheen of sweat covered my body as my heart was still pounding inside my chest, a blush rose to my cheeks as I averted my gaze to the window where it was pitch black but a thin sheet of ice covered the glass window. He smoothed my dress back down as he adjusted my dress back into place. “Return to your quarters, you’ve had a long day and should get some rest” 

“I’m not all that tired Kylo,” He smirked “I wanna stay here with you” 

“Mari” He warned “I’m capable of handling things here with our  _ guest _ ”

“Okay then,” Turning back to him he offered me his hand, flicking my gaze from his hand to his eyes. Without hesitation I placed my smaller hand in his larger one with a small smile, helping me off the table, he quickly whipped me around with my back to his hard and solid chest. Wrapping one arm around my waist, and one hand around my throat over the diamond choker that dug into my skin, he angled my head to the side forcing me to look at the man who watched us with fiery rage. 

“Who does she belong to?” The man clenched his jaw as he glared at Kylo with unwavering frustration as I had realized that he was being held down by the force as Kylo must have forced him to sit and watch the entire time. Kylo squeezed my neck as I could feel the anger bubble underneath the surface of his skin, a soft moan had left my lips with his fingers digging into my throat. 

“You, Commander Ren” He spat out 

“Good” He squeezed my throat once more, nipping the lobe of my ear. The politician watched us with rapt attention as his nails dug into the arms of the chair as his arousal was clear by the bulge in his pants. “I advise that you remember that the next time you come into contact with her, she is  _ mine _ .”

Placing his hand at the small of my back he led me towards the door where he punched the code in quickly, turning to me he leaned in “You look gorgeous  _ kitten _ ” He whispered in my ear teasingly as embarrassment washed over me.  _ He saw the wet dreams I had about him.  _

“Thank you K-kylo,” Placing a quick kiss to my forehead he gently pushed me out of the room before it shut behind me quickly. 

_ Did that really just happen…? _

* * *

In a manner of two hours, I had stripped myself out of my corset dress and had taken a nice hot bath as I enjoyed the post bliss of an amazing orgasm. With a satisfied smile I had taken my time getting ready before retiring for the night. The dress I had worn tonight along with the cloak hung in my closet. Dressed in a long white nightgown, I let out a sigh of relief as my hair was finally able to untwist itself from its tight hold of being in a bun. It cascaded down my back as the ends of my hair had curled, humming softly I ran my fingers through my soft silky hair. 

There was a knock at my door, standing from my vanity my bare feet padded across the white tiled floor towards my door. Opening it I was met with a maskless Kylo, glancing in the hallway I saw that the halls were deserted, not even a Knight of Ren in sight. Stepping aside I let him in, and just like last night he strode in silently before turning to me.

“Kylo, is there urgent business?” 

“A gift,” He stated “for you”

He handed me a small black box. I didn’t even realize that he had a box with him in the first place. Confused I took the box from him, peering inside the box I grew wide eyed as I looked at the contents that laid inside. I should have been upset or maybe even scared about what he had put inside the box yet all I felt was pride and utter adoration.

“This is a wonderful gift” 

“He should learn to hold his tongue next time in the presence of a lady” Was all he said as I glanced back at the bloody tongue that laid inside the box before turning back to him 

“He’s still alive correct?” 

He blinked “Unfortunately yes” 

“Good,” 

“I should let you get some rest as today has been rather eventful for you” His eyes raked over my figure as I watched him visibly swallow, “I didn’t realize that I had interrupted your evening” 

Thoughts back to earlier in the war room had my thighs rubbing together and my tongue darting out to lick my suddenly dry lips. His eyes watched my mouth slowly as he sucked in a deep breath, looking away from me he coughed into his fist. 

“You weren’t interrupting anything as you are my Master,” Internally I smacked myself as I should probably refrain from calling him that for a while as the events in the war room had flashed in my head. “I was about to amuse myself with a book actually” 

_ I don’t believe I could even sleep after the orgasm he had given me. _

“You should at least try to get some rest as we have a meeting with the General tomorrow morning and then followed with training as you will be taking the next step in your training in a few days time” 

“Understood, when will all of our guests be leaving?” 

“The General reported that they will all be gone by the end of tomorrow” 

“Smart move General” It was a mumble as I picked up the box and made my way further into my quarters as Kylo’s boots was a clear indication that he was following me “Where is he now?”

“Back in his room on the other side of the base without a tongue as he will be leaving at 0500 hours” 

“I assumed you had persuaded him of this decision” 

“Your assumption is correct” 

“What will stop him from saying anything?”

“It’s hard to speak when he has no tongue” A dark chuckle resonated through the hallway as he followed me into my bedroom where I set the box down on the table and took my place back at the vanity

“Was that the only thing you did?” Through the reflection of the mirror I met his gaze as he stood right behind me as a smirk made its way to his lips 

“When have you ever seen me exercise control?” 

“You didn’t kill him,” Leaning down his large hands grabbed at my waist, my head immediately angled to the side as he buried his face in my neck. His hot breath fanned across my naked neck, he smirked letting out another dark chuckle. Through the reflection of the mirror he had trapped me with his gaze as he bit down on my ear lobe. Shuddering, I found it hard to breathe as my body shot up to 200 degrees. 

“You confuse control for mercy,” Kylo trailed his hands up and down the sides of my nightgown igniting little fires wherever he touched me “I bid you goodnight  _ Kitten _ ” A small lingering kiss was left on the junction of my neck before he pulled away all together and left me as black fabric fluttered behind him. 

_ Arrogant prick _

* * *

Dressed in my usual attire, my black heeled boots clicked against the floor. A meeting with General Hux and Kylo was taking place in the war room and I was running a bit behind. The reason being as I had struggled to fall asleep last night after Kylo had...No. I need to push those thoughts away and focus on the assignment at hand. Taking a deep breath I punched the code in as the doors opened immediately for me, stepping inside I found that I was the first to arrive. 

_ Great, I skipped breakfast for nothing.  _

Striding over to my seat, I let out a loud sigh as I sunk into the leather padded chair. Closing my eyes I debated on what I was going to do next regarding finding Ferial and kicking his ass. I’ll be damned to let the Republic get to him before I could wrap my hands around his throat and choke the life out of him or maybe even cut his tongue off and force him to swallow it. 

“I hope we didn’t make you wait to long Commander Mari,” Snapping my eyes open and straightening my back I watched as General Hux walked in with Kylo right behind him 

“No, I was merely meditating” Standing I bowed my head towards him in greeting as he took his place at the head of the table as Kylo took his place on the other side with me next to him 

**_That was some interesting mediating don’t you think?_ **

**_Stop snooping inside my head Kylo_ **

**_Hn_ **

“Before I begin discussing about my findings on Commander Mari’s request I have something to discuss with you both” 

“Out with it then” Kylo snapped, leaning back relaxed into his seat as his helmet faced the ginger haired General 

“A politician named Monroé Zantelle is unable to speak due to the fact he is missing his tongue, not to mention that he was quick to leave but that is hard when he was limping” General Hux paused “Not to mention he was covered in bruises” 

**He wouldn’t say anything huh?**

**Shut that pretty little mouth of yours before I do it for you**

My body betrayed me as his words sent a spark of heat straight to my cunt as a shiver went down my spine. My thoughts drifted towards what he meant by this exactly and I was very tempted to defy his demand just to see what he would do, tempted to see what he would do to me once he got me alone. So many decisions to make that offered so many pros but every good thing had a consequence to it. 

**Whatever you say** **_Commander_ **

_ I’ll just pay the consequences later _

I snorted “I’m sorry General Hux but who is that?” 

“A high ranking politician from the planet Lazarus as he had left at 0500 hours unable to speak” General Hux crossed his arms as he leveled a hard glare on Kylo before he turned it to me but it had softened dramatically as it turned to a look of irritation

“What are you suggesting General?” 

“If my calculations are correct then one of you had the ‘ _ honor’ _ of pulling off such an offense” He snapped, letting out a soft sigh I knew this was going to take a while, taking out my datapad I began to place an order for breakfast in my datapad.

_ Maple flavored bacon sounds amazing right now, blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs as well. I’ll just order extra everything since I have training later and I could just burn off all the calories.  _


	18. A Strong Bloodline

Holding the pristine white tea cup in my hand I blew on it softly before taking a long sip of the peppermint tea I had ordered. This blend was rather delicious as the hot liquid poured down my throat and warmed up my entire body. Glancing at General Hux before flicking my gaze towards Kylo, I let out an irritated sigh. 

_ Children.  _

_ They were children.  _

For the last twenty minutes they glared at each other from opposite ends of the table, it was amusing at first but now it was downright annoying. They had yet to drop the unofficial staring contest as they were both determined to win it. I thought of intervening but then that would mean I would have to deal with both of their pettiness after. 

“Would you like anything else Commander?” An older looking woman in her forties asked me quietly as she was scared to face the wrath of both the General and the Commander. 

“No, but thank you” She flashed me an appreciative smile as she finished collecting the rest of my empty dishes and quickly left the room 

Several more minutes of silence went by, the tense atmosphere in the room was becoming stifling as I could feel my eyebrow twitch slightly. Both of their aura’s were screaming at one another and Kylo knew that I could feel it. He didn’t care as his competitive nature was manifesting itself, I still didn’t quite understand when their unspoken rivalry had developed. I just knew that they both wanted to win the Supreme Leader’s attention.

_ Children. _

Setting my teacup down onto the white saucer, I suppressed an irritated sigh. Clearing my throat I glanced at both men who had yet to acknowledge the fact that I was still here. “Gentlemen,” They never moved or even acknowledged me. Raising my hands towards both of them and pushing them both back, their chairs skidding against the floor and hitting opposite sides of the wall. This snapped them out of their stupor as they both focused on me “Now that I have gained your attention I would like to proceed with this meeting. You can have your “my dick is bigger” fight later when I am training as you are both wasting precious time”

General Hux coughed into his fist as he cleared his throat “My sincerest apologies Commander” Picking up the teapot I poured myself another glass of peppermint tea as I knew that I was going to need it

“I was the one to cut his tongue off as he had disrespected me by thinking I would lay in bed with him” Taking a long sip of my tea I watched as the General’s eyes grew wide as he had a look of shock on his face

“C-commander Mari…”

“I’ll explain to the Supreme Leader about what had transpired between him and I” 

“The Supreme Leader doesn’t know yet but I shall inform him of what happened once this meeting is over” 

“Then let’s proceed” I ignored Kylo’s stare as well at the fact that he was poking me with his signature as it was his lame way of trying to get my attention.  _ If he was going to ignore me then I would ignore him.  _ Taking another sip of my tea, the General had fixed his chair and then straightened up before he started speaking

“During yesterday’s celebration I had spoken with every single guest trying to gather intel on this organization and I have only came up with the fact that they have been trying hard to recruit small planets into joining them” 

“Have they tried approaching our allies?” 

He shook his head “No, they are sticking to the smaller planets as I’m assuming to make sure they don’t get caught by the Order or the Republic”

“It’s a smart strategic move” Standing from my seat I set my empty teacup down as I walked towards the large windows “I admit the plan is genius” Chewing on my bottom lip, my thoughts wandered 

_ Grabbing a piece of toast off a plate on the kitchen counter, I walked into the dining room where Mom was reading a boom and drinking coffee. Finishing off the toast, I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek before walking into the living room where my Dad was.  _

_ “Ready for training?” He glanced at me as he was finishing packing up his bag, “where are you going?” _

_ “A meeting is being held with all of the leaders and I have to go”  _

_ I merely nodded as this had been recurring more and more often. Something was happening. What? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I had found myself having premonitions of a danger but I had pushed it aside as I didn’t know a lot about the force. _

_ “Is this about that group?” My Father nodded as he finished packing his bag “when will you be back?”  _

_ “I’ll be back in three days time, until then you will protect the town until my return” He brought me into a tight hug, hugging him back he placed a kiss on my forehead  _

_ “Be careful” Ruffling my hair he picked up his bag with a bright smile and walked towards the door _

_ “Aren’t I always kiddo?”  _

“Commander Mari?” Blinking I returned to the present as I found myself staring out of the window. Blankets of snow as far as the eye could see with thin but very tall trees littered the grounds. I’ve never been outside of the base and into the cold, as the base was the only thing occupying this planet. Everything else was just vegetation. 

“Sorry General, I got lost in thought” Clearing my throat, I turned back to both men who stared intently on me 

“The meeting will have to readjourn as I have other matters to attend to. We’ll meet back tonight at 2300 hours to discuss further action regarding this organization” General Hux bowed his head to both of us before he followed the lower ranking lieutenant out of the room. 

_ Huh. Didn’t even notice her. _

“I have training with the Knights” Quickly making my way towards the door I had almost escaped before I found myself rooted to the spot “Let go of me Kylo”

“You disobeyed me”

_ I did not have time for this _

“Stop being a prick, I have training today and am in no mood to deal with your childish antics” My comment pissed him off as I could feel the anger in his body channel into mine through our bond 

“Watch your mouth” 

“Not this shit again” 

Memories of Gryle flooded my head as the weeks of petty anger had washed over us. Which resulted in our little duel in the training room that night which resulted in avoiding one another and spouting off witty jabs every chance we got. Maker, I hated fighting with people. Verbally that is. It was too much work that I didn’t see a reason to deal with unless it benefited me in some way. 

“Marinet-“

“I have a lot to deal with as it is Kylo, please don’t complicate things further” 

“I saw your memories,” He let go of me, I was tempted to run but I wouldn’t get far as he was faster than me and there would be no use against him “Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because I don’t see any reason to drag my parents into this war, I made a deal to spare their life, remember?” 

“We need to speak with your Father” Pivoting on my foot I flew to him and jabbed him in the chest with my finger 

“ **_We_ ** aren’t doing anything,” He peered down at me amused “Kriff, you’re like Poe” I mumbled as I saw that he wasn’t taking me seriously 

“Did you just compare me to your  _ boyfriend _ ?” Throwing my hands up in the air I let out out a frustrated scream 

_ If I was to be heavily wounded, dropped off on an abandoned planet and had to find my own way home? That would be more easier than dealing with Kylo kriffing Ren’s arrogant behavior.  _

“I’m going to train with the Knights so don’t bother summoning them for any reason” Turning on my heel he let me go this time without any struggle

Another step in our relationship but two steps back. I don’t think it’s possible to ever find some common ground with him. He is impossible. Kylo makes me want to choke the life out of him with that cowl of his. A laugh escaped my lips as I imagined actually doing said act. It was amusing. 

* * *

“Stop going easy on me Vicrul” 

Since I stepped foot in the training room, all six men immediately knew that I was not in a good mood. Only one person could put me in such a foul mood and said person was being a pain in the ass. 

“You’re angry” he merely stated as he lazily held his weapon 

“Of course I am! Kylo is a pain in my ass and I want to work out my frustrations and you’re not helping!” I must have sounded like a whiny child in that moment because the other five men all snapped their heads toward me as shock radiated off of them 

“Has Master finally broken you?” 

I snorted “No, I would rather stab myself with my lightsaber then let him have the satisfaction of breaking me” Wincing I wish I didn’t use that example as my death vision crept back into my mind once more

“Then don’t let yourself become so angry to where your attacks are leaving you open, giving your enemy a chance to kill you” Vicrul leaned lazily on his large scythe 

“What do you suggest then?”

“I suggest that you channel your anger into your attacks, don’t attack your opponent recklessly as you are smaller and more nimble.” Vicrul stated as he walked over to me and started adjusting my body 

“Careful or he’ll have your head for touching his women” Cardo called out tauntingly as the other men snickered like children. Or maybe like hyenas. Yes, they were more like a mix of hyenas and wolves. 

“She’ll become Lady Ren soon,” Vicrul stated as he didn’t even bat an eyelash at Cardo’s comment “Once she becomes Lady Ren, we’ll be following her as well as our Master to take orders from so I’d be careful if I were you” 

“Does somebody have a soft spot for our Commander’s plaything?” Trudgen spoke up this time as he swung his vibroclever in the air 

“I’d watch my mouth if I were you before Lord Ren heard you” Usher voiced out as he looked over at Cardo and Trudgen who merely shrugged at him 

In the almost ten months being here I had never seen their faces, I held conversations with them every now and then. Their teasing about Kylo was founded as Kylo wasn’t too fond of the idea that they interacted with me. He had made it very clear after my first training session with them that I was off limits. Which I found the little warning to be ridiculous just like his petty behavior. Yet, once I finished my training and became Lady Ren that would mean that these six children would have to listen to my orders. 

“Vicrul hands off now” Letting out a sigh the telltale sign of loud footsteps told me it was Kylo that walked into the training room 

All five knights scrambled to attention, Vicrul let go of me as he collected his weapon and took his place with the other knights. Dropping my defensive stance, I swiveled in my foot to find Kylo making his way towards me. Stopping he loomed over me as he glanced at the group before resting his gaze on me, it was unreadable as that mask of indifference had settled in once more leaving me unable to figure out just what he was thinking. 

“Can I do something for you  _ Commander _ ?” He looked irritated as his left eye twitched at my use of his formal title 

“I came to check on your progress with training”

“How nice of you,” Picking up my lightsaber again I pointed it at him “Unless you plan on joining me in the circle I ask that you keep your space” 

“Is this another one of your silly little challenges?”

“Is it?”

“Commander Mari, the Supreme Leader wishes to speak with you immediately” Officer Lyon entered as he bowed his head, his entire body was shaking as his eyes swept over the Knights, Kylo before finally landing on me. His shaking had reduced but he still trembled as he kept his gaze on me, scared that he would somehow offend the seven men cloaked in black. 

“Thank you, you’re dismissed” He quickly hightailed it out of the room as the Knights snickered behind me, they found deep pleasure in scaring people 

“We’ll have to finish training for the day” Was all I said before I left Kylo with his brethren 

"Supreme Leader Snoke, what may I do for you?" 

“General Hux has informed me that you cut off one of our allies’s tongue, is this true?” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader” He stared at me silently before he let out a booming laugh as he hit his hand on the armchair of the throne he sat on “He disrespected me for asking me to partake in act-“

“I don’t care why you did it,” He waved his hand in the air silencing me from speaking any further before he continued “I’m not surprised that you had done such a thing as in reality it pleases me that you had done something so  **_twisted_ ** ” 

“Pleases you?” 

“There’s a darkness blooming inside you that has been dormant in you for so long. You hear the whispers don’t you? Every time you take a life you can hear the whispers grow louder and louder.” 

_ How did he know about it? About the whispers? Does he know about the prophecy as well? Maybe I should speak with Kylo and tell him everything.  _

“The darkness is slowly consuming you, it has its sharp claws in you as you sink further and further into the darkness that is the dark side of the force” 

“This brings you happiness”

“Very,” Snoke eyed me as he leaned towards me as if to get a better look at me “When you first came aboard this ship and I had dug into your mind, I didn’t believe that I would get my hands on another strong bloodline of Jedi” 

_ Strong bloodline? Jedi? What is he talking about? My parents weren't force sensitive as they were normal, I was the anomaly in the family. My entire life I had kept the secret of being force sensitive at my parent’s request.  _

“You don’t know?” He hummed before leaning back lazily in his seat as he eyed me with maliciousness in those beady eyes “It seems like you parents kept secrets from you”

“Supreme Leader, is it too bold to ask to return to my home planet and see my parents?” This was a dangerous request that would most likely have strings attached but I didn’t care as I needed to know what he was talking about. If what he had said was true then that meant that there was a possibility that I had family somewhere in the galaxy, that I wasn’t some creature with rare abilities. 

“Ren will accompany you on this mission” Was all he said “I could care less if a man lost his tongue, all I ask is that you try to be more discrete next time.” 

“Yes, Supreme Leader” Bowing my head the projection flickered out leaving me in the communication chamber by myself before I left as I searched for Kylo’s whereabouts

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. I'll always trust you

“What made you change your mind?” Kylo was flying the Command shuttle as I sat in the passenger seat, we had only been flying for a couple of hours as we had spent most of the trip in a comfortable silence. 

“I have reason to believe that my parents are keeping something from me” Was all I said as I refused to look at him and kept my gaze on the controls not trusting myself to break down as soon as he looked at me 

“Why won’t you tell me?” 

“Kylo…” 

I didn’t know what to tell him. What could I even say? I was beyond anxious to see my parents after so long being away. People who were possibly not even my parents. My nerves were everywhere as I hadn’t seen them in a little over a year, and I was afraid that I had changed too much. Or maybe that they hadn’t missed me as much as I had missed them. Regardless of the answer they were still my parents as they had raised me all my life. But I still needed to know if what Snoke had said was true or not, as I needed to know the truth of my birth. There was so much going on, so much I didn’t know about the force, my death premonition, a supposed prophecy, catching Ferial, finishing my training, and lastly whatever this was that I had with Kylo. I didn’t need any more surprises in my life as I was struggling to adjust to this new life with the First Order. 

“We’re here” 

Standing from his seat, he grabbed his helmet before leaving me in my thoughts as the ramp opened up. Following behind Kylo, I straightened my back letting out a deep exhale before walking off the ramp only to be blinded by pink, red, and orange hues of the sunset. Scanning the area I realized that we were on the outskirts of town as we were a good twenty minute walk from my house. Walking I began to make my way back to town, back to my family, to my home. It felt foreign to think this place was my home. 

Digging my fingernails into my palms, I found myself hesitating as I stared at the white door of my house. The house I had grown up in, the house that I had come home to everyday for twenty three years, the house that my parents lived in for over two decades. Raising my fist to the door I knocked on the door as I knew that both my parents should be home, as it was dusk already. This would be the time where my Dad and I would be returning from my training in the woods, where we would come home to my Mom as she would be finishing up dinner. Then we would retire to the parlor, where my Mom would be sitting in her armchair knitting with my Dad sitting at the small bar enjoying a glass of whiskey while he read about on his datapad about things going on in the galaxy. Lastly, I’d be lying on the carpeted floor either lifting up random objects with the force or enjoying a romance novel of some kind. 

Knocking on the door I took a step back as I waited in tense silence for my parents to open the door. I didn’t have to wait long as I watched my Mom open the door, her smile turning into one of shock before tears began flowing down her cheeks as she tackled me into a large hug. Hugging her back, I felt like a small child again as she wrapped me up in her arms and held me, afraid that I would disappear. 

“Mama” Whispering in her ear I held her as I tried hard to blink back the tears that wanted to fall as my heart clenched in a painstakingly way that caused a lump to lodge in my throat. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to tell her. I missed her. My Mom. 

“I know my daughter” She whispered back as I could feel her tremble in my arms “I’ve missed you as well” 

“Where’s Dad?” Sniffing she pulled away as she reached up and wiped the tears off her face before her gaze had landed on Kylo, who stood not too far behind me as he wanted to give me some space to reunite with my parents.

“Why don’t you come in? Are you hungry? Would you care for some tea?” 

“Tea sounds lovely Mom” Following her into the kitchen, I heard Kylo close the door behind me as his loud heavy footsteps synced with my light ones as we passed the parlor, the dining room and into the kitchen 

Taking my seat at the table, Kylo stood directly behind me as my Mom buised herself by flying around the kitchen to make her famous tea. Shifting in my seat, I felt nervous as I watched my Mother hum to herself as she took out the teapot with the matching teacups. A large hand. A large hand slid up my spine before it pulled away, then returned to my scalp. He trailed her fingers down to my hair that was free of braids or buns. Kylo’s fingertips played with my hair as he ran them through my hair and gently tugged at the ends. Leaning into his touch, I felt my nerves disappear into thin air as I felt my body relax. His hand settled on my back for a few seconds before Kylo began drawing small, lazy circles into my skin with his daft fingertips.

“Mama, where’s Dad?” 

“He’ll be home soon as he is coming back from a meeting with the other towns” Placing the teacup in front of me she sat across from me as she glanced at Kylo warily before settling back onto me with a smile “I assume this isn’t a social call is it?” 

Shaking my head at her, I spoke up “It isn’t, the Supreme Leader allowed my return as he believes that both Dad and you may carry information that could help us” I wasn’t planning on telling her about the other reason until Dad was home, so until then this would have to do 

“Why don’t we wait for your Father to return then, that way he can answer all of your questions as your Dad knows much more than I do” 

“Alright” For the next couple of hours I told my Mom of the things I had experienced on the base as well and some of the missions I had gone on, before I began to ask her more about everything that has happened since I left. It seemed as if the time away from my family had disappeared as I fell into the same routine with my Mom, she seemed cheerful as if the man that stood behind me didn’t take me from my home for the price of a deal. 

“Marinette…” Snapping my head to the kitchen entrance I watched as my Dad, tall and proud, stood at the doorway as he stared at me in disbelief. Standing from my seat I ran towards him tackling him into a hug as my heart tugged and a new round of tears wanted to fall. “My warrior daughter” It was a barely audible whisper as I let the tears fall, burying my face into his chest I sniffed as I missed the feeling of being comforted. The warm feeling of loving parents and having something to come back to, the feeling that I’m not just a soldier but a daughter as well. That I’m worth much more than another victory in battle. 

“Dad, I-” 

“I know,” Was all he said as he pulled away holding my face in his hands, his dark eyes scanning my face as if committing it to memory. He shared that same feeling that I would disappear at any minute now with Mom. Guilt settled heavy on my shoulders, but regret was nowhere to be traced. No. I don’t regret giving my life up to save theirs, but I did feel overwhelming guilt as I knew that they sat at home worrying over the fact that I was fighting a war that they wanted no part in. “Why don’t we all retire for the night and we can talk in the morning alright? Rest is essential to your training as I believe it is safe to assume that Commander Ren agrees” 

“You are correct” 

After exchanging another round of hugs and tears, my parents had retired to their room leaving Kylo and I in the parlor. The fire crackled as I sat in my Father’s armchair with a glass of fire whiskey in hand, I had spent every night in this room with my parents before they would leave to retire to bed. Where I would then sneak out to go sit under the tree on the hill and spend hours staring at the stars and distant planets that I wanted to visit. 

“You should rest, you pushed yourself today when training with the knights” 

“I’m fine” Downing the rest of the alcoholic beverage I winced slightly as the burning liquid slide down my throat, standing I set the glass down “I’m going on a walk”   
  


The cold wind nipped at my skin as I stood underneath the large but old tree that stood on the hill that was covered in native flowers, it overlooked a huge field that was lit due to the large moon that shone upon it. Resting against the trunk of the tree, I kept my balance as I closed my eyes and placed my hands firmly on the ground. It was through the force that I felt life itself flood into my veins as it brought a familiar warmth to my heart. There was no telling if I would ever return to this place. My safe place. My place that I came to escape from the mundane life I had before the Order, before Kylo, before wars, and before bastards like Ferial and Monroe. Yet this was the same spot I had seen Kylo all those years ago when I was a girl who thought she was going crazy because she saw a boy who wasn’t really there. Now said boy was my Master, my fellow apprentice, and the Prince of Darkness. 

_ Speak of the devil. _

“This is the place that you often think about at night before you fall asleep”

“It’s rude to snoop through a lady’s mind”

“Regardless if you’re a lady or not,” I heard him shift his weight as I could feel him wait for something. He was waiting for my approval, my approval to step into a place that was sacred to me. He still has his  _ good boy manners. _ “You belong to me, especially that mind of yours”

“Would you like to join me?” His heavy footsteps made their way toward me as he settled in beside me against the trunk as he was mindful to not step on the flowers. Opening my eyes I glanced at him to see him staring at me. “Yes?”

“This place is familiar to me, I feel as though I’ve seen it before” 

_ So he saw me too when we were children...  _

“It should be since we share a bond” Gesturing to the field below us, memories of a young Kylo appeared in front of me. So realistic that I could reach out and touch him, but I couldn’t. They were memories of a boy who was locked up tight inside Kylo, and I wanted to find the key and let him out. To know the Jedi before he became a mass murderer. 

“So you remember as well?” 

“I did a lot of meditating and training when I was stationed on the resistance base, in those five months I regained a lot of memories I had buried in my subconscious.” I paused “At the time though I couldn’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy, but since you’ve told me about the bond we share I have found out a lot about myself” 

“You’ve grown a lot in the short time you took my hand” His arm brushed mine as he readjusted himself against the tree “Your parents are proud of you” 

“I know,” Chewing on my bottom lip I debated on whether to say it or not as I wasn’t supposed to feel this way. Feelings and emotions get in the way of our true goal. 

“You miss them” 

“I do,” It was a whisper “but they are safe and away from the war as long as I continue to fight. That is all I can hope for as I continue to fight in this war” 

“You love them,” He paused for a few moments “They hold a special place in your heart”

“They’re my parents, the people who raised me and loved me. The only people who I have ever known in my life.” 

“Hn” We settled into a comfortable silence as the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind was the only sound that was being made. It felt like hours before he had broken it “Something is on your mind that you are keeping from me and I demand to know what it is,” 

_ It was now or never. _

“I wish to go to the Fallen Jedi Temple on Coruscant once we leave here,” 

He inhaled loudly “Why?”

“There is a prophecy, one that speaks of me”

“How do you know?”

Taking a deep breath, I told him about the dreams I had of my inner self. Of the women in the mirror and what she had told me and what Snoke had told me about the darkness inside of me. The whispers I heard when I took a life and how they only grew louder. He stayed silent as I spoke, and long after I had finished talking. 

“I’ll look into this”

“Thank you,” I felt a weight lift off my shoulders “I meant my oath,” I don’t know what possessed me to say those words but the will to stop talking wasn’t there. Kylo looked at me for several seconds in silence before finally responding to what I had said 

“I hoped you did or Supreme Leader would have you killed” Rolling my eyes at his stupidity I shook my head as I continued 

“You misunderstand me Kylo,” He wore a look of confusion, I continued “I will follow you everywhere in this galaxy or the next. I will always be by your side until the day I draw my last breath, I won’t ever abandon you. I will follow you down whatever path you choose. My blood vow to you is what I hold close to my heart, not to the Supreme Leader but to you.” 

“Be mindful of your thoughts Mari,” He spoke with a soft but firm tone “This is going against the Supreme Leader”

“You didn’t tell him of our bond and my unavoidable death,” Challenging Kylo wasn’t my intention but it was his strong pride that provoked my own “Admit it Kylo, something has shifted in the force. You feel it just as strongly as I do!” Growling in frustration I felt tears blur my vision as the effects of everything were crashing down on me. I took everything in stride and buried it as I always had more piled onto me. 

Kylo clenched his jaw as he tightened his fists, uncertainty flashed in his eyes. The same thing I had seen when he battled against the  praetorian guards all those months ago. And then it was gone, replaced by a soft vulnerable look that I had also seen before. Pulling me into his lap I straddled him as he merely held onto me, holding my face in both his hands, his eyes searched mine. Another cold breeze swept past us, a shiver went down my spine as my body brushed up against his, his eyes flicked to my lips before back to my eyes. 

“I’m still looking for ways to prevent your death” He whispered as both of his thumbs brushed against my cheek in an affectionate manner. With a gentle swipe of his thumbs he brushed the tears off my face, sniffing a sigh left my lips as I leaned into his touch “I trust you now I ask for you to place your trust in me” 

Placing both my hands on his firm, broad, muscled chest, my fingers dug into his black robes. I studied his black robes that lay under the palms of my hands as if it was really interesting. Kylo had always put his trust into me, and he had never given me a reason not to trust him. In fact he had saved my life that night when Ferial decided to bomb his own kingdom in order to escape. Meeting his gaze I smiled softly as I knew that I really didn’t have to think of my answer. His eyes searched my face as if he was trying desperately to find something. 

“I’ll always trust you” It was a barely audible admission as my words were carried off into the wind but he still heard those four precious words

He moved one of his hands to the back of my head and pulled me against his chest. Kylo slipped his arms around my body as he cradled me in his lap, closing my eyes. I let the rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to a sleeplike state, his fingers stroking my hair as his body relaxed under my own. Our signatures wrapped around each other as we both poured our energy into one another. This beautiful moment of peace had both of us bearing our human weakness of a sense of belonging. A sense of finding one another in the darkness, a sense that was telling each other that we weren’t alone. Because under the moon and the stars, we had found a common ground that we could both see eye to eye on. A bond that nobody could take away from us, a bond that we shared and by just reaching out we could find the other. We were in a galaxy of our own, where we just existed with one another in a comfortable silence. 

**_“No matter where you are, I’ll always make my way back to you, I promise”_ **

His words echoed in the back of my head as his shadow teetered on the edge of my mind. Just enough to reassure me that he was always there, to tell me that I wasn’t alone. True to his word, I wasn’t alone because I had him and he had me. 

_ This was an interesting sight that I would definitely commit to memory.  _

My parents were sitting at the dining room table eating breakfast with Kylo as if it was an everyday thing. Blinking, I was baffled at how to react to the rather odd scene. Kylo, dressed in his black robes, was calmly sipping coffee in one hand with his datapad in the other. My Father mirrored him but instead he wore white robes while my Mother was eating as she read a book. I must be dreaming because a domestic Kylo is giving me vibes that I don’t quite agree with. Pinching myself did nothing so I gave up. Taking my seat across from the Master of the Knights of Ren, I began to serve myself breakfast as I mumbled pleasantries to my parents. 

The entire meal was a silent one which I didn’t mind at all as I ate in silence, my thoughts wandered off on how to bring up the topic of why I was here in the first place. I wanted to wait after breakfast at least before I brought it up as I needed to prepare myself for the truth. Were they even really my parents? Or were they my parents? Snoke’s words caused me to doubt my identity, to doubt everything I had known so far.  _ Well…almost everything. _

“Are you finished, dear?” Looking up from my plate to my Mother she was smiling at me as she gestured to my empty plate 

“Ah yes,” 

Once all the dishes and the leftover food were cleared, we all sat at the table in silence. Clutching the teacup in my hands I stared at the dark liquid as I took a deep breath. Looking up, I was met with Kylo’s state as he waited patiently for me to bring up the subject. Nodding slightly I moved my gaze towards my parents who were smiling and waiting for me to start.

“Father, do you know anything about the organization called T.A?” He stiffened as he exchanged glances with my Mom 

“Yes I do unfortunately” He stated as he took a sip of his coffee

“Both the Republic and The Order want to destroy them as they have caused problems for both opposing sides of the war” Pausing I took a sip of my tea “Can you please tell me everything you know of this organization father?” 

“First off, they are called The Allied” 

_ So those were just acronyms, I knew it.  _

“Who are they? What do they want?” 

My Father exchanged another glance with my Mother who merely nodded at him “They have been trying to recruit all the small planets that aren’t a part of the Republic or the Order such as our planet, A’rth. They came to this planet two years ago hoping to convince us to join them. So twice a month all the leaders have a meeting where we come together to discuss options. Some want to be apart of the war and others don’t, so you can see how that is a problem” He stated with a tired sigh before he continued “The man that leads this organization is a force user, he goes by the code name M’inoli, he has a group of fourteen force users who serve him as if he is a entity” 

“Have you ever met him?” 

“Thankfully no” 

“What do they want?” 

“They want to crush both the Republic and the Order and bring a new age of change to the galaxy as he believes that the old ways should die” Glancing to Kylo, he wore a mask of indifference. Yet I could feel that his curiosity has been piqued by the goals of this organization named The Allied.  _ Interesting _ …

“Is this everything that you know?” 

“The force users stay in Canto Bight, Cantonica as they enjoy partaking in gambling, clubs, the races, and the occasional ball or two as they enjoy partaking in activities in the pleasure district” 

“Thank you, this will help the First Order” Chewing on my bottom lip I knew that the other subject would have to be discussed now or never because there was a high chance I would never see them again. Attachment wasn’t allowed, nor was feelings or sentiment. The Supreme Leader believed that these things would cause us to stray from the darkness and walk in the path of the light. 

“When I was a kid, I asked both of you about the origins of my abilities and you always told me that I was just gifted. I’m older now and I ask you once more...where did I get my abilities?” Neither of them seemed fazed that I had asked them such a question as they merely shared another look with one another before my Mother left the room only to return a few seconds later holding a journal in her hands. 

“Almost twenty four years ago, a young couple, like us, had come to us seeking refuge as they were heavily wounded and apparently were on the run. The women had just given birth to a girl, they were force users, they were caught up in something dangerous and knew that you wouldn’t be safe with them so after a few days they left you with us, and this journal, and told us that they would try to return to get you back…” 

My Mom didn’t have to finish what she was saying as it has been twenty three years since I had been left here, which meant that they had either been killed or died trying to get back to me. EIther way they were gone and I was once more left with more questions such as why were they in danger? What happened to them? Who was I descended from? This was all too much to take in at once, but I knew that I needed to take a step back and take a deep breath. To look at everything with a level head before making any decisions. 

Standing I moved towards both of my parents as they enveloped me in a tight hug, “Thank you for loving me and raising me as your own”

“We love you with everything we have”

“You’ll always be our daughter kiddo”

After another two hours of talking, and a twenty minute tearful goodbye Kylo and I had left A’rth as we had boarded the Command Shuttle and were making our way back to Starkiller. He told me that he wanted to keep the prophecy a secret for now as we had a mission to complete. I agreed as I wasn’t ready to accept anymore new information about myself after what I had just learned. Clutching the worn journal in my hands, I was afraid to look inside afraid of what I might find in the leather bound book of yellowed pages. This was a gift from my biological parents that they had left behind to give me a better chance at a life then the possibility of meeting the same fate they had met that led to their abrupt demise. Closing my eyes I decided to meditate as I let myself fall into the dark side of the force, to give myself a temporary break from everything that has happened in the last few days. 

* * *

It has been a little over a day since we returned to Starkiller and I had yet to touch the journal. As soon as we landed Kylo and I had a brief meeting with General Hux, where I had told him everything my Father had. The only reason we had yet to leave for Canto Bight was because the Supreme Leader was busy for the time being and wouldn’t return for a week. Which was a huge relief to me as I needed to time to myself to figure everything out. This week was going to be used as a small break in order for me to clear my mind and unscramble everything. 

First off was the force bond with Mr. Prince of Darkness himself. From a young age, we have been able to see one another. It was our bond that had linked us together in the first place, our bond that had caused us to grow so close yet still so far apart. When I was stationed with the Resistance, I was able to strengthen my mental health with meditation. Which had strengthened our bond in the short span of us being separated. Kylo telling me about our force bond had answered many of my questions luckily. A bond that had us giving each other trophies from each victim we terrorized. It was a sweet gesture that he had gone to the trouble of cutting that man's tongue out in payment for his disrespect. A bond that had him fiercely territorial over me, his possessiveness made me feel oddly safe in his arms. Which explains why he is so determined to prevent my death that I welcomed it. I had made a blood oath to follow him until my last breath. I intended to do that even if he is the reason why. 

Secondly, my relationship with said Prince was impossible to put into words as one minute we were getting along and the next we were at each other’s throats. The night that I had returned back to base was when I had seen a side of Kylo that I didn’t know he had. Kylo was vulnerable, making me a promise that he would always make his way back to me. Then the moment in my safe place underneath the tree was another moment of him showing me a side of him that I didn’t know. A side of him that comforted me and soothes my doubts and insecurities that were eating away at me. Kylo Ren. The man is an anomaly himself. There was no telling what was going on through that head of his. He was a man that lived and breathed by his own rules and didn’t give a damn if anybody liked them or not. A man that had a past shrouded in darkness and mystery that I eagerly wanted to know. I placed my trust into him and I wanted him to do the same as I needed to know what he kept locked up in that head of his. 

Looking down at the worn journal in my hands, I took a deep breath and opened it before I could chicken out. The pages were yellowed due to age and were filled in small cursive as it explained the basics of how the force worked. This explains how Dad was able to train me, they had given my parents a journal that told them how to train me. If my biological parents were in danger then that explained why my parents wanted me to hide my abilities until I was grown. They were protecting me from the same fate as my parents. It explained so much. Thankfully this time this answered my questions instead of leaving me with more. All I have to figure out now is why did I descend from and what happened to my parents. 

_ I found a purpose outside of this war. A purpose that will give me the identity I crave, that will give me a sense of belonging.  _


	20. The Psychotic Bastards of Ren

Obi-Wan Kenobi was a Jedi Master, his padawan was the Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker before he had turned to the dark side and became a Sith Lord. His former padawan struck him down after twenty years when the Galactic Empire took down the Republic. Obi-Wan Kenobi lived in exile as a hermit on the planet Tatooine, located in the Outer Rim Territories, hiding from the Galactic Empire. He went by the name Ben for those twenty years, and in that time he had a son who grew up and fell in love with a woman and had me. I was a Kenobi. Granddaughter to a powerful Jedi master, one of the few who had escaped Order 66.

Kylo and I’s grandfathers were brothers, they were Jedi’s who had fought together. Who had loved one another as family, nothing was supposed to break apart a bond as strong as theirs. Obi-wan had broken the jedi code and had grown attached to his padawan that he had practically raised as a son. It was his attachment that had gotten him killed as Anakin’s betrayal had killed him. Thus he became Ben, former Jedi Master. Anakin’s secret wife’s premonition of death is what broke him, it was the final straw that had turned him to the darker side of the force. Which in turn was what had destroyed him, and everything else was history. 

The past few days I had spent training under Captain Phasma, I didn’t feel like being around Kylo or the Knights. These past few days I needed to be by myself to figure all this out. To collect my thoughts and give myself time to mull over this information that I had discovered about my biological parents. I had read that journal front to back, analyzed every little single detail but nothing gave me information. The only thing in that journal was the names Baxton and Loreli Kenobi, which must be my parents' names. 

Loud heavy footsteps rang throughout my quarters causing me to jump slightly before I realized that Kylo had forced himself in my room. Letting out a sigh, I relaxed into my couch as I debated whether to kick him out or just walk away. 

“Why are you avoiding me?”

_ Too late. _

“I’m not avoiding you”

“You’ve switched your training with Captain Phasma then the Knights, don’t think I didn’t notice” 

“I don’t expect anything less from the great Kylo Ren” 

“The Supreme Leader has returned from business, he wishes to see us immediately” 

Standing from the couch I glanced at the journal that rested on the small coffee table in front of me. Brushing past Kylo, I left my quarters as I knew that Snoke was going to revisit the topic of my bloodline. The bloodline I hadn’t told Kylo yet. The red string of fate connected us even more than we had realized as the sins of our grandfather's past ran deep. Guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders as we walked down the corridors together. We needed to talk soon, as this wasn’t something I could hide. Not that I was planning to.

“My apprentices,” Snoke’s booming voice sounded throughout the large cold chamber as Kylo and I stood side by side staring up at our Supreme Leader “How was your trip to A’rth? Did you find the truth of your birth?” 

“Yes,”

“And?”

“My grandfather is Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Kylo’s shock was felt through the force, but it was quickly masked with indifference as he didn’t want to tip off the Supreme Leader of our bond “I have a strong lineage of jedi in my blood” 

“I sense a new resolve in you”

“I hope I haven’t failed you Supreme Leader” 

“You have yet to fail me, my apprentice,” He wore a smirk before he continued “Discovering your lineage and coming to terms with it you will have succeeded in taking the next step in your training” 

“I will not fail you, Supreme Leader” 

“Hm, I foresee a bright future ahead of you, for both of you” His gaze flickered to both of us before he settled on me once more “General Hux will brief you on your new assignment” With a dismissal wave the projection flickered out. 

* * *

We were just now landing on the beach of Canto Bight, the Knights were with both Kylo and I as we made our way to the most grossly lavish, luxurious resort in Canto Bight where we would be staying at until this mission was over. My mission? I would go undercover as an A-class socialite where I would gain the attention of the force users and gather intel on them and report back to General Hux. Kylo and the Knights would act as shadows in case things were to go awry, as this was my mission since I was still a nobody to the galaxy so nobody would recognize me. 

“Do you understand what your assignment is?” Stepping out of the bathroom and into my bedroom where Kylo stood with his back turned to me dressed in his black robes. 

“I have the details of the entire mission ingrained into my memory Kylo” My wardrobe for tonight consisted of a tight fitting strapless black leather dress that was short and by short I meant if I dropped something I would be flashing my ass to the world. A diamond choker hugged my throat as I wore matching earrings, my makeup consisted of red lips and silver eyeshadow. Glitter was sparkled into my teased high ponytail. I screamed  _ party girl. _

Kylo turned towards me as all six knights walked into my room. Vicrul, Trudgen and Cardo were dressed in expensive black suits as they would be my shadows for tonight. Trudgen let out a low whistle as his bright blue eyes eyed me hungrily, while Cardo ran a hand through his brown hair averting his eyes from looking at me for too long. 

“She’s  **_mine_ ** ,” Kylo snapped harshly as he didn’t even bat an eye at his brothers, whipping my head towards him I watched as he stood in front of me with a predatory gleam in his eyes. Grabbing my long coat he thrusted it into my arms as he stared at me with an expectant look. “Put it on now”

“No, I’m going to the club” Throwing the jacket onto the bed I levelled a glare with him “You don’t wear jackets on the dance floor” 

“You need to go change then” Grabbing me he turned me around and pushed me towards the bathroom, digging my black heels into the carpet I pushed against him 

“I was given a mission and I will complete it whether you like it or not as the Supreme Leader expects me to complete it without failure”

“Leave us” He snapped with a huff as all six men left the room as they didn’t need the force to know that Kylo was beyond furious at me. I didn’t care. 

A growl erupted from his chest as he ripped himself away from me and began pacing the large and lavish bedroom. With tight fists he ran through his hair and yanked at the ends, his large muscled chest heaving, leather boots pounding against the white tiled floor. Kylo emitted control and power. Underneath his skin was a passionate rage.

“Can’t you just do as you're told?” 

“I was given this mission and I will see through it whether you like what I’m wearing or not, I don’t see why you have such an issue with it” 

Kylo always brought out the darker parts of me, the parts of me that had begun to grow when I had taken his hand and joined the dark side with him. Stopping he whipped his head towards me, with a crazed look in his eye he had cornered me up against the wall. A gasp of surprise had left my lips, his huge towering figure pressing up against my smaller frame, with one hand he had my wrists pinned above my head. His hot breath fanned over my face as his eye twitched, nudging my legs apart with his knee, he pushed himself into me. That insatiable hunger lit a fire as my pussy throbbed, I could feel his arousal press into my pelvis. It made my mouth water as my mind strayed, wondering what he looked like and if he was just as big as he felt. 

From day one I should have been afraid of Kylo Ren, but something was always drawing me towards him like a magnetic pull as I couldn’t bring myself to stop. Even now, with him staring at me as if he wanted to eat me up whole. Instead that same hot sexual tension filled the atmosphere as I found myself wanting to give into him. To give into the temptation, to give into the raw sexual primal desire I had for Kylo. He had these  **_predatory_ ** urges that had me struggling to breathe. He was  **_dangerous_ ** . Kylo Ren had this sick, twisted  **_fixation_ ** for me. He saw me as a  **_possession_ ** . 

“K-kylo…” A small whimper left my lips but that was all it took as Kylo bared his teeth towards me. A loud sharp moan left my lips at the feeling of his teeth sinking deep into the junction of my neck before he began sucking on the small patch of flesh, I could feel myself become aroused as my panties were most likely soaked already as I grinded my cunt against his bent leg as he kept my legs apart. “P-please…”

“Please what  _ kitten _ ?” Planting several kisses over the bruised flesh, his left hand grabbed my thigh as he rubbed lazy circles into my hot skin. 

_ Kriff, the arrogant prick wants me to beg  _

“Make me cum again” 

“Hmmm...no” Letting out an outraged cry I thrashed against his hold, he merely let out a dark chuckle as he continued kissing my neck unfazed by the fact that I was growing angry. “I told you before that I will not take your disobedience, submit to me and I’ll gladly give you anything that your heart desires kitten” His words held a dark promise in them as he peered at me with a slightly crazed look 

“Then let go of me you fucking arrogant prick!” 

“Such foul words shouldn’t leave those pretty lips of yours” Kylo nipped at my collarbone as a my breathing became shaky as I wondered what it would be like to have his mouth all over my body

“Be a good kitten and change out of that dress before I rip it off your body” 

“Fuck you” Using the force I channeled my frustration and anger to push him away as I toook the small oppertunity and slipped out from his grasp, grabbing my lightsaber I pointed it at him as it ignited “I will see you later tonight as I have to find and seduce a force user” Kylo’s anger switched quickly to amusement as he smirked at me, if I didn’t have other things to focus on then I would have gladly played this sick game of his. Deactivating my weapon, I turned and left my bedroom quickly before he changed his mind and stopped me again.

* * *

When she walked her hips swayed in the most delicious way, her long creamy legs were exposed in that leather dress she wore. He couldn’t look away nor could he move from the spot he found himself rooted to. Keeping his gaze on the way her body moved so seductively slow as she looked relaxed, without a single care in the world. He was utterly **_fixated_** by her. She was a **_pretty_** **_thing_** _._

 ** _His_** **_pretty thing_** _._

Since he had left her on that godforsaken planet for the resistance scum to claim her. To claim what was his. Kylo had become transfixed on her. Waiting for her return was absolute hell, as the only glimpses of her he had gotten were through their force bond. Anticipation wracked his body as he couldn’t wait to see  **_her_ ** , the pretty thing that was the main focus of his thoughts. He desperately wanted to see the source of his  **_fixation._ ** His pretty little thing that was a spitfire. 

In such a short span of time he had become protective of her, and in a sick twisted way he was  **_obsessed_ ** with her. Since she returned back to him, he found himself watching her much more closely then he had before. The way she would furrow her eyebrows when she was confused or the way she chewed on her plump bottom lip when she was lost in thought. It was the small things he had begun to notice about her. 

She felt so small and fragile in his arms when he held her that night as he promised to always come back to her. A promise he meant. Her doubts and insecurities regarding her training had made him angry as she was exceeding both his and Snoke’s expectations. Stronger and more in control then they had both originally believed her to be. She was young, powerful and dangerous. Something she had yet to realize about herself. 

Looking down at his hand, he tightened his fist. Thoughts of his hand slipping around her pretty slender neck had him groaning, as his thoughts wandered to how beautiful she looked with his hand wrapped around her pale throat. What had happened in the war room was just to claim that she was his. To show that man that he couldn’t take what was his, that nobody could touch his  _ pretty thing.  _ Her wet dream was still vividly playing through his head and she  **_wanted_ ** him. She had dreamed of him  **_taking_ ** her, of  **_claiming_ ** her. Of him calling her his  _ kitten _ . Then the way she tasted. She tasted so sweet, so tart, so unique, and yet so  **_ravishing_ ** . 

His control was slipping. Ever since  _ The blood vow,  _ he was losing it. He was slipping into this dark abyss of obsession. He was becoming fixated on her and it took everything in him to control himself from pinning her up against a wall and plowing into her. 

Her submission to him wasn’t in the way he wanted, she submitted everything to him in the name of honoring the art of war. The blood vow she had made to him curved his dark desires for now. Those beautiful words of declaration of being his before she drank his blood. That stirred something in him. She was hauntingly beautiful, the way she had stood, oozing confidence in front of everybody as she declared herself as his. It wasn’t the submission he truly desired, but it would curb his desires until he could truly have her. He wanted her submission to be her getting on her knees and wrapping her pretty lips around him and sucking him dry. Those gorgeous dark eyes staring up at him, pleading, as her hands wrapped around him. 

_ Fuck. _

She was so delicate, so soft to the touch. The delicious way she had sat at the edge of the table, legs spread baring her pink pussy to him. She was dripping wet with arousal for him, her slit and her little clit, just begging to be touched by him. Her pink, tight little cunt swallowed his leather fingers like a vice making her all the more tempting. Her soft cries of pleasure made him hard as he wanted to know every single sound she could make. He was fucking losing it. His pretty thing made him lose all self control, her unmarked skin, her pretty little lips, her perfect little cunt. Her  **_innocence_ ** . Her  **_virginity_ ** . Thinking about the way her walls had tightened around his fingers, so pink and wet. Her moans and whimpers begging him to fuck her. It was driving him wild. She was  **_good_ ** . He wanted to destroy that. To  **_bleed_ ** it out of her. Yet, it was that same trait that had him so  **_infatuated_ ** _ with her in the first place. Like a moth to a flame.  _

He wanted to  **_destroy_ ** her. To  **_break_ ** her. To take her anyway he wanted. To make her feel pain. To hurt her. To have her as his completely. Then take care of her. Give her that sense of belonging and safety that she secretly desired. She was so put together, so confident and compassionate. It agitated him. She was so desperate to find where she belonged in all this, to know her true identity, to know what happened to her family. Since they had left her home planet, she had avoided him and shut him out. That wouldn’t do. No. She couldn't hide from him. 

Seeing her through their bond when she was with the resistance. He  **_loathed_ ** it. Seeing her around so many  _ friendly _ men. The way they watched her walk around in the tight engineers uniform, the way her hips swing side to side. It was disgusting. He wanted to kill every single one of them for even looking in her direction. His fingers twitched. He could do it. He could easily carve their eyes out and deliver them to his  _ kitten _ on a silver platter. She would purr in satisfaction. Whether she knew it or not the dark part of her took pleasure in making people uncomfortable, thriving off of their wanton fear before she struck them down. 

Digging her panties out of his pocket, he brought them to his face and took a whiff of her sweet scent, her scent flooding his senses. Bringing his hand to the painful ache that rested in between his legs, he palmed himself as he thought of how her small cunt twitched when he barely touched her. How desperate she was for him to touch her, to make her cum on his hand as she rode his fingers in front of the slimy coward who thought he was man enough for her. Quickly pulling himself out and with closed eyes, he imagined her in front of him on her knees, he would grab a handful of her hair and force her to take all of him. 

One way or another, she would be his. 

* * *

Why did I drink so much?

Tired and buzzed, I stumbled into the lavish suite with the Knights behind me, making sure that nobody had followed us. Tonight was an absolute bust. We visited ten clubs, no force users but the several hours I had spent club hopping gave me time to think more about my biological family. It had given me time to think about how to talk to Kylo about my bloodline, and how to approach his own. Things between us were rocky, one wrong step and everything I worked hard for was for nothing. So this had to be approached with a level head and I was the only one with the patience for it as the homicidal unhinged man that was my Commander. My thoughts lingered on what had happened before I left. 

“You reek of alcohol” 

“I had a few drinks”

“Drinks? More like bottles” Cardo stated as he let out a tired sigh “She’s a handful when she’s intoxicated, control your plaything” 

“Shut it, you were too busy mind fucking that women at the bar” 

Snapping I left all the four men in the large living room and kicked my heels off as soon as I closed the bedroom door behind me. Yanking the hair tie out of my hair, it fell over my shoulders as I walked towards my bathroom to draw myself a nice bath. The scent of alcohol, sex, and drugs clung to me and I couldn’t wait to sink myself into the water. In a manner of ten minutes I had stripped myself bare as I sunk myself into the hot water, bubbles filled the tub as I leaned my head back onto the rim. 

“Did you find anything?” Letting out a shriek I raised my hand out and pushed the intruder up against the wall of the bathroom only to see that it was an amused Kylo, who easily pushed against me and released himself. “You need to be more aware of your surroundings” 

_ Fucking prick _

“Get out”

“No,” Walking towards me he sat down on the edge of the tub as he leaned forward, his fingers brushing against the bruised flesh. A soft whimper left my lips as he stared at me, his lips twitched into a smile. “My pretty thing” 

“Kylo…” 

“You disobeyed me”  _ Kriff, not this again  _ “You will be punished, not yet but later” 

His finger grazed over my collarbone before he trailed it up my neck. Swallowing thickly, he moved his finger only for him to bring his hands up to cradle my face, stroking and rubbing my cheek slowly, the sweet and kind gesture eliciting a delicious shiver that wracked down my spine. I could feel his emotions, they mirrored my own, confliction and temptation sinking into both of our bones. Something dark bloomed in my veins, that same darkness that was in both of us had a lingering undeniable desire. His big, dark eyes stared me down with an intensity that I could feel in my bones, a dark hunger buried under his possessive nature. His jaw was tense, as he was internally fighting with himself. Fighting with the demons that were inside. 

“Please” Something sparked in him as his lips twitched into a dark smile, his black robes a deep contrast to the shades of white in the bathroom. 

“Please what my  _ pretty thing? _ ”

“I-” A knock on the door had shattered the atmosphere, Kylo growled as he tore himself from me. Sinking myself further into the tub, my heart was beating fast as I tried wrapping my head around what had just happened. What did I want? When did our relationship change? When did things change from professionalism to something more intimately? Was it my death? No, he acted differently before that. Something had shifted between us long before I had told him of the premonition. What did Kylo even want from me? He could easily find some women to satisfy his needs, somebody else to make his. 

**_Why do I have the desire to be that somebody?_ **

“I have some things to attend to, we will talk later as we much much to discuss especially regarding your blood lineage” 

_ I can’t catch a break could I?  _

“How long will you be gone for?” Crouching down he grabbed my chin, pulling my face closer to his. He smashed his lips against mine, pulling me into a long and soft kiss that had me leaning into him, moving my lips against his. His tongue traced my bottom lip, immediately I opened my mouth at the force he put behind the kiss. Kylo’s tongue clashed with mine, shyly I sucked it gently, teasing him. He groaned into my mouth, and I let go of his tongue only for him to nip at my bottom lip playfully. 

“I’ll come see you as soon as possible,” Placing a chaste kiss on my forehead he was gone, leaving me in the lukewarm bath water.

“ _ Pretty thing? _ ” 

**_My heart is pounding so fast as it feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest. Why am I feeling this way?_ **   
  
  



	21. What have I gotten myself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter with the Knights of Ren because they need love too, y'know?

“This is amazing, don’t you think?” 

It’s been over two days since I had last seen Kylo, I had spent the days relaxing by the pool or in the beach and my nights at the clubs. But I still hadn’t found any of the force users, but they were in this city. I could feel it. It didn’t help that Kylo wasn’t here to help me whatsoever, General Hux had called him away which left the Knights to babysit me. His kiss goodbye was still fresh in my mind. Bringing my hand to my lips, I could still feel his own against mine. He was making me feel things that I shouldn’t be feeling. Making me attached to him. Just like our grandfather’s. Kylo, just as reckless as his grandfather and I, just as patient as my own. 

“I don’t think Lord Ren will be too happy with his toy dressed like that for anybody to see” Ushar stated from somewhere to my left, rolling my eyes I lifted my head up from the lounge chair and glanced over to the blonde haired man with light green eyes as he was dressed in lounge pants and a button up shirt that showed his muscles 

“I could care less about what he wants as I am the one who is doing all the hard work on this assignment, and last I had checked he is nowhere to be found” Standing from the lounge chair, I walked over to the bar and ordered a fruit smoothie as I had been relaxing by the pool all day. “You guys should relax once in a while, just loosen up a bit” Leaning against the bar, I drank my smoothie as Kuruk walked over to the bar and ordered himself a drink 

It was even a weirder sight to see some of the most feared creatures draped in black robes wielding deadly weapons, dressed in normal clothing and going about their day doing domestic things such as drinking a fruit smoothie, playing in the pool, or even making a sandcastle. These psychotic bastards were human and I had to remind myself that before they became the Knights of Ren that they had lives before this. Before taking up arms and having a sole purpose to serve their master. I wonder what kind of people they would be had they chosen a different plan. They are force sensitive, so they could have become padawans and then Jedi Masters under Luke Skywalker's guidance.

“It is our mission to protect you Mistress, while Lord Ren is away” Was all he said as he threw credits onto the bar 

“Speaking of missions, we should get back to the room and get ready” I noticed that it was already growing dark as the sky was painted with pinks and oranges as the large city of Canto Bight was beginning to wake up.

“Grab my things, will you Ushar?” He looked annoyed as he glared at me, smirking I finished off my smoothie before he threw his shirt at my face

“Cover up, I’m not facing the wrath of our leader because you want to walk around practically naked” He sniped as he began to pick my things up

“It’s a bikini,” Was all I said before I put the article of clothing on as I didn’t want Kylo to hurt them for my disobedience. Prick. “It’s my body anyway,”

“The mark on your neck begs to differ Mistress” Kuruk stated as we began making our way inside of the resort with Ushar and Ap’lek walking behind us “Lord Ren has claimed you as his and that makes you his possession”

Snorting I rolled my eyes as we entered the elevator “I never gave him my consent to do such a thing,” The doors closed “He can take his mark and shove it”

“It doesn’t matter as you will become Lady Ren, you made a blood vow to him giving yourself up to him” 

What have I gotten myself into?

————————

Stepping into the loud casino with Kuruk in one arm and Ap’lek on the other dressed in a violet sweetheart sequined mermaid styled gown with black stiletto heels. Everybody stopped to stare, smiling both men walked me down the steps as everybody began whispering. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I relaxed as I slowly let my force signature out as we made our way towards the bar. 

“What can I get for you Miss?”

“Linora” Taking my seat at the bar, I gave a subtle nod to both knights as they disappeared into the crowd where Ushar was already bidding. “My name is Miss Linora and I’d like the most expensive champagne you have” The bartender smiled as he disappeared into the back 

“Would you like me to open you a tab, Miss Linora?” He came back with a bottle as he set a flute glass in front of me 

“That would be great” 

After I had finished my first glass of champagne was when I felt it. A disturbance in the force. Glancing around the large room of the casino, I caught Ushar’s eyes. Nodding to him, he nodded back before leaving to inform the other two. Crossing my leg over the other, I turned back to the bar as I wondered how long it would be before they realized another force user was on this planet and in this very casino. Picking up my glass of champagne as well as the bottle, I slid off the bar stool and made my way towards the source of the force user. 

“Mistress, let me carry this for you” It was Kuruk who slipped to my side taking the bottle from me, “Do you wish to gamble tonight?” 

“I’m bad at card games, I’d just be throwing away my credits” 

“But it is Lord Ren’s credits that you have been spending since we arrived” 

Oh….well this ought to be fun. 

“Yes, I would like to play a quick hand of cards” Leading me towards the gambling tables, I took my seat at a table with only two others “Deal me in please” Throwing credits into the table, I flashed the host a smile as he dealt me the cards quickly. 

Picking up the cards I was dealt, I felt the force user come closer to me. Their signature was brushing up against mine with purpose. They were testing me, trying to gauge a reaction out of me. Well, they will be sorely disappointed as I refuse to give them one. Chucking credits into the pile, I downed the rest of my drink as Kuruk refilled it. His posture was tensed as he felt it too. The force user was growing closer to me, glancing at the man beside me. He gave me a subtle nod. 

“Will you raise Miss?” 

“Yes I would,” Smiling at the other two people I watched as they set their cards down onto the table as they refused to meet my ante causing them to show me their cards “I win” A flush beats a three of a kind and two pairs. 

“Deal me in as well” Keeping my gaze straight forward on the host, I ignored how the man was pulling on my signature. 

For the next hour as we sat at the table, he stared at me as he tried getting me to react to him. Kuruk was tense as he had masked his own signature from the mysterious man, as it would be suspicious for two force users to be together in the same city and the same casino. A crowd had gathered around the table as I was on a winning streak only because I used the force to read their emotions. 

“You win again Miss” 

“Would you join me at the bar for a drink?” 

Kriff, he’s persistent 

“Sure, why not?” Collecting my winnings I placed them in my purse before handing it back to Kuruk, turning to the man with slicked back black hair, a charming smile, and mischievous green eyes. I took the hand he offered me and flashed him a coy smile as he led me towards the bar. 

“So what brings a gorgeous thing like you here?” He asked as he paged the bartender and ordered two pink martinis “Business or pleasure?”

“Pleasure” 

“Are you unattached?” 

“Yes, I am” 

“Is that so?” He leaned in closely to me, keeping the smile on my face I hid the disgust that I felt by taking a sip of my drink 

“Yes, relationships are bit of a nuisance in my opinion as I have more important things to tend to” 

Lies. Every word that slipped past my lips were complete lies and yet they were easy to say as they were facts. I signed my soul away to The Order and part of the deal was the unspoken rule of no attachments, no sentiments, no relationships. Yet the thought of a relationship had me thinking back to Kylo kriffing Ren. 

“Let’s cut the pleasantries and talk about the real subject at hand?” He murmured as his gaze wandered over the loud casino and its occupants before landing on me

“Oh?”

“You’re a force sensitive just like I am” This man is either really stupid or really smart to admit this truth out loud where anybody could easily overhear us and cause a panic 

“You’re not as dumb as you look” Taking a sip of my drink I let out a exaggerated sigh “Pity, I was hoping you were, that way I would have some form of entertainment to keep me occupied for the night” 

“The night is still young and there are plenty of other ways to keep one such as yourself entertained” The way he had said it suggested a hidden agenda that either meant sex or joining his little gang. Either way I needed to spend more time with him to gain more information on him and the organization he worked for. 

“Do tell me then” 

“Mistress, you are needed back at the hotel as the Lord has returned” Kuruk leaned over and murmured into my ear giving the man in front of me a slow once over 

“I’m afraid that I have other matters to attend to Mr…?” 

“My name is Skyjuli Derrpol,” He paused “But you can call me Sky.” 

“I’ll see you around then Mr. Derrpol” He barked out a laugh as he set his glass down 

“Would you like to join me tomorrow night for dinner before the races?” 

“The pod races or the Fathiers race?” 

“Why don’t you choose?” 

“The Fathiers,” 

“Where should I pick you up?” Offering my hand to Kuruk, he helped me off the barstool 

“I’ll meet you at Kal’ani’s at seven?” 

“It’s a date then,” 

Once we disappeared into the crowd, Ap’lek and Ushar immediately joined my sides as Kuruk navigated our way out before we stepped out of the stuffy casino and into the busy streets of Canto Bight. Where a speeder was already waiting for us, climbing in I rested in my seat as I kicked off my heels. 

“I’d say that was successful don’t you think?” 

“I could smell the desperation off of that pompous ass from the other side of the casino” 

Ushar’s comment caused Kuruk and Ap’lek to go into a fit of laughter as they began talking about the several ways they could torture the man and have him on his knees begging for his life only to torture him further by driving him into insanity and then release him before they finally kill him. Psychotic bastards. Yet I found myself not caring if they chose to act on their whims as long as they did it after I completed my mission as I didn’t care much about the man’s life. After twenty minutes and my heels in hand, we stepped out of the elevator and walked towards the suite. Before I could put the code in the door flew open and stood Vicrul dressed in his black robes. 

“I must warn you that Lord Ren is in a rather foul mood since he returned,” Stepping further inside the suite I searched for him “He left as he still has matters to attend to but he said that he would be back in a couple of hours” 

“I’m retiring for the night then as I’m exhausted and would like some rest, please wake me when Kylo returns as I wish to update him” Vicrul nodded “Goodnight everybody,” They all murmured similar pleasantries before I dropped my heels onto the floor with a soft groan as I leaned against the closed door. Letting out a pleasured moan at the sight of my inviting bed, I knew that I had to change out of this blasted dress before I could truly be comfortable.


	22. You’re becoming the definition of insanity for me

“Kylo!” 

With a pained yelp, my lightsaber was flung somewhere into the frigid snow as I was forced towards both Kylo and the man he was glaring at. Passionate hatred was running through his bloodstream as it flooded my own, his gaze flickered towards me. Anticipation began to seep through as it only fueled his anger towards the man in front of him and the other one who forced me to stand beside the man.

“Such a gorgeous little thing huh?” Dragging his finger across my cheek, his black eyes pinned me to the spot as I was unable to even shiver in disgust “Such a shame she pledged her loyalty to the likes of jedi trash” 

“Don’t touch her,” He spat out “Nor am I a jedi anymore”

“You’ll always be Ben Solo, no matter how much you try to run from your origins” 

Ben Solo. His name used to be Ben Solo. 

“Ben is dead, I killed him”

“You may as well be Ben as you have become soft, and it’s because of this bitch that you will submit to the new order and become apart of my collection” 

“Hard to submit to somebody who can barely control his said “collection”, I won’t submit to you as I would rather die”

“I knew you would say that” Igniting his blue lightsaber, pivoting he grabbed me by my hair as he smirked “Please don’t take offense as you’re just collateral” 

In seconds the blue lightsaber went right through me, it seemed as time had slowed down and in slow motion I was forced to watch as it was quickly yanked out of me. Faltering backwards, my blood splattered into the beautiful crisp white snow. A scream of outrage rang in my ears as Kylo reached out towards me with a bloody hand, a look of panic and fear flashed in his eyes. His screams of anguish echoed throughout the woods as he ignited his lightsaber and ran towards me only to be stopped by the man who had stabbed me. Stumbling out of his grip, I slowly looked down at the gaping hole in my stomach where blood was quickly seeping out of me. Looking back towards Kylo, he had tears in his eyes as he screamed, letting out a shaky breath, my legs couldn’t support my weight as I crumpled into the snow. 

Sheer agony and shock washed over me. Holding the wound, my hands were covered in the warm and dark liquid as it poured out of me, staring up at the night sky I watched as the dreadnought shot down every single ship as they burst into flames and fell to the ground like meteors. Hands wrapped around me, I was hoisted upright against a man's body as he grabbed my face, roughly forcing me to watch Kylo fight against the man whose face I couldn’t see. The man who had this hatred for both of us, the man who stabbed me, as he sought to kill us after we refused to bow down to him. 

“We have great things planned for you” He whispered into my ear 

Heart pounding I shot up out of bed as I gasped for breath, my skin was clammy and my face was still wet with tears. My hand immediately shot to my stomach, where I had been brutally stabbed by the unknown man. A relieved sigh left my lips as my heartbeat calmed down a bit, I didn’t feel as scared as I was before. Grabbing the cool silk sheets with tight fists I let out a shaky breath, scanning my large bedroom I found it was empty. Throwing the sheets off of me, I quickly slid out of bed as I could still see my nightmare clear as day inside my head. Tugging on my lace white robe over the matching satin corset nightgown, I stood on shaky feet as I walked over to balcony doors, a blast of cool salty ocean air brushed over my face causing me to relax. 

Closing my eyes I let myself slip into a meditative state as I reminded myself that I was here, in the present, and that was all that mattered. Yet something was tugging at me, something I didn’t want to think about but it was hard not to as this nightmare was different. This nightmare was more detailed, but there were things that were still vague, it showed me things I hadn’t seen before in my dreams. It scared me. Does this mean that something had changed? But it was still the same outcome, the same nightmare. The nightmare that was my death date that loomed over me like a shadow, growing more and more each day. But this time it was more vivid than it was before, did that mean that my death date was growing closer? That I am to die in the near future? 

“You’re shaking” Jumping at the low baritone voice I swiveled around to find Kylo, wearing black sleeping pants that hung low on his hips and a size too small shirt that showed just how muscled and built he was. Kriff, he’s gorgeous “You’ve been crying as well”

“I didn’t mean to wake you” 

“I know, I felt a disturbance in the force” Striding towards me I watched as he moved to my side as he looked out to the moonlit beach as the soothing waves of the sea gave me a sense of tranquility, a sense of calmness that I hadn’t felt since that night on the hill under the tree. My safe place. “Your nightmare is you dying” 

I scoffed “I don’t fear death” 

“Enlighten me then on what you fear as I know that whatever it is, it’s causing you great discomfort and I wish to remedy that”

“My fear isn’t me dying, my fear is failing to serve you, for you to die because I am too weak to protect you” A tense silence rested over us, before he broke it with a snort 

“You believe me to be so weak that I would need to have an insolent little girl such as you to protect me as if I’m a defenseless child?” 

Kriff, he’s an arrogant prick. Rolling my eyes at his arrogant behavior I wondered how he was able to put that helmet on over that fat head of his. Damn narcissistic prick. 

“I forgot who I was talking to” 

More silence “I told you to put your trust in me that I would take care of this, so now I’m asking you to trust in your own abilities. You’re much stronger than you realize, especially with your bloodline.” 

The way he said it was as if he was struggling to come to terms with how we were even deeper connected with one another, how we were fated to meet one another. It was a surreal thought to believe that we both came from strong and powerful bloodlines of jedi, and yet here we were fighting on the dark side of the force. I wonder how my biological parents would think if they could see me now, falling further into the darkness as it consumed my body.

“Are you upset with me because of who my grandfather is?” I didn’t mean for the question to come out harsh but Kylo always made things difficult for me, made things so much harder then they had to be.

“No,” He blinked. “I just don’t understand why you chose to keep this from me, I thought you trusted me enough to tell me about where you came from. Since that meeting with Snoke you knew why we were going to see your parents and you had more than a week to tell me everything and yet you kept it from me” 

He was hurt. Hurt by the fact that I had kept my familie ties from him, that I had kept him in the dark about my family and why I had to see my parents. Hurt because I avoided him and had blocked him out through our force bond, completely isolating him from myself. That night, under the tree, an unspoken understanding had blossomed between us. A silent communication that we were for each other, that it was us against the galaxy and by shutting him out I had isolated him from the only other person who understood him.

Me.

“It wasn’t my intention to keep secrets from you Kylo, everything is changing and I’m scared to find out what is in store for us. I isolated myself because I needed to think, I needed to take a step back and breathe...Since I took your hand I haven’t had any stability and that absolutely terrifies me” Another reason why my death premonition terrified me was because I would die alone. Alone, and terrified. 

“Our bond is the only stability you need,” Snapping my eyes to his, only for me to find him already staring at me with unwavering confidence as he took a step towards me with a look in his eyes that I was all too familiar with. 

“Kylo, our bond is what is confusing me” Another step forward he cradled my face in his hands as his thumb brushed over my cheek, over my now dry face “You confuse me, like right now as you touch me and reassure me that everything is going to be fine. How are you so strong? So confident that we will succeed in the end?” 

“Since you collapsed you have been in my head and that was when I had developed this feeling of protectiveness over you, to keep you safe. Our bond is what binds us together, you and I revolve around each other like the planets revolve the sun, and that is what makes me so sure that we will succeed” Kylo was provoking this warm feeling within my chest, a warm feeling that was foreign as I couldn’t quite understand what it was or how far it seeped into my very core. It was an exhilarating feeling, a feeling I wanted to find out and explore with Kylo. 

“You’re becoming the definition of insanity for me” 

“And I, you” The warmth in his hands seeped into my face as we stood on the balcony with one another, staring at each other as we were the only two individuals that existed. I shared a bond with the most feared man in the galaxy and instead of being scared, I was content. He was forcing me to feel things I hadn’t ever felt before, feel things I shouldn’t feel. 

“Kylo…” His gaze lingered on my lips as I could see that he was debating something, debating what? I wasn’t sure, because Kylo Ren is an anomaly. 

“Place your trust in me...”

I wasn’t given a chance to respond as he smashed his lips against my own once more, our lips were moving in haste with one another. My hands found themselves on top of his chest, gripping onto the dark fabric tightly as I felt his chest rise and fall with every breath. Kylo was massive compared to my much smaller frame, and he was toned, his biceps swelled as the blood pumped throughout his veins. 

Sparks shot through my body as my knees grew weak and my heart pounded in my chest so loud I could hear it in my ears. The kiss was a hungry one as I felt his need to devour me whole, to take everything from me. Our tongues wrestled with one another, his hands travelled down my backside, over my ass and to the back of my thighs. Within seconds he hoisted me up as my legs wrapped around his hips, tangling my hands in his hair, I yanked at the ends slightly. Letting out a low groan he sunk his teeth into my bottom lip, a soft whimper came from me as I felt him begin walking back into the room. 

Tossing me onto the bed, I gasped as his hand grabbed my thighs and yanked me to the edge in one swift motion. Yanking his shirt off he threw it behind him, my breath hitched as I drank in how toned his body was. It was as if he was sculpted by the gods himself, he was built and all his muscles were defined as I stopped myself from reaching up to touch him. To touch just to see how they felt under my fingertips. Slamming his hands on both sides of my head his lips immediately attached themselves to my neck, sucking and biting as he left his mark. A small part of me wanted to argue against it but the darker part of me took great pleasure in the possessive act of him marking me. 

Lust was hazing my mind as he flooded my senses, something inside of me was telling me to stop this before it continued even farther but I couldn’t find myself to stop. The orgasm he had given me was nothing compared to the few wet dreams I had of him when I was with the resistance. Detaching his mouth from my neck, I let out a soft whimper at the loss of contact. Eyeing me he smirked as his hand ghosted over my lace covered core. Spreading my legs open, I watched as he smirked at me before he bit the inside of my thigh. Letting out a pained moan, he placed a kiss in the same spot before he did the same to the other thigh. His hot breath on my still covered pussy had a shiver go down my spine as I fisted the sheets. 

I threw my head back letting out a small moan as he licked my pussy, buckling my hips slightly into his face. I could feel his amusement buzz in my veins as he was enjoying tormenting me. A low moan left my lips as he dug his digits into my hips to keep me from moving too much. I hoped he would leave marks. Bucking my hips again he tightened his grasp on me, another pained moan left your lips as he stared at me with passionate lust. Something hard was rubbing up against my thigh, something hard and long. With a shy blush, I let out a small moan as I wanted to touch him, to see what he kept teasing me. 

“Do you wanna cum kitten?” 

“Yes, please!” My cunt clenched as I thought about him in between my legs, stretching me out and fucking me until I was delirious with pleasure and walked with a limp 

“No,” He paused “This is your punishment for disobeying me the other day, don’t think I forgot about that” 

“Fuck Kylo….please” It was a low whine, chuckling he quickly moved away as he stepped back from me, a panting and blushing mess 

“Be a good girl and get on your knees” 

Eagerly scrambling to the edge of the bed, I sat on my legs as I waited for him. I had never been in a situation like this before, never had I ever even been close to doing something so intimate to a man before. Because as he stepped closer, his hands running through my hair as the other one brushed over my lips, the way he spoke to me gave me a surge of confidence. 

“I’ll teach you kitten,” He whispered as he shoved his thumb into my mouth, wrapping my hand around his wrist. “Do what you feel is right” I slowly began to suck on it with hesitation as I didn’t want to hurt him, his other hand that was stroking my hair had tightened a bit as I tilted my head to get a better angle. A soft groan left his lips, snapping my gaze up to him he had his eyes screwed shut as I could tell that he was holding himself back. After several moments, he finally pulled away from my mouth, a small trail of saliva running down my chin,

“Did I hurt you?”

He chuckled as he grabbed my face and brought me into a soft kiss “Just the complete opposite” 

Dropping his hold on me, I watched as he reached towards his pants, placing my hand over his I stopped him. Grabbing his hand I moved it away as I unzipped his pants, looking up at Kylo he gave me a nod of encouragement as I realized that he was giving me control. Control on the pace of things, control with this entire relationship between the both of us.Tugging his pants down I stared at his erect cock, it was just as big as it felt when he had pushed it against my pelvis the other day. Reaching out, I traced the large vein as I slowly scanned his entire length, as I felt a tad bit of fear. Fear that it wouldn't fit in my mouth much less buried inside me.

He chuckled again, “Don’t worry kitten, it will fit inside you” I merely nodded as I watched precum leak out of his tip, rubbing my thumb over it I brought it to my lips and licked it. He tasted tangy but with a slight sweetness to it that had me wanting more of his cum.

Slowly I guided my open mouth onto his thick, pulsing shaft, he let out a low growl as I engulfed him. Gagging slightly at his size, he gave me time to adjust before I grabbed his hips and pushed his cock deeper into the back of my throat. Saliva filled my mouth as I licked his vein his fingers dug into my scalp as he gripped my hair tightly, moaning as he yanked on my hair spurred him on as he thrusted in and out of my mouth.

“I love the look of that pretty little mouth of yours looks wrapped around my cock, such a good little kitten” Moaning I rubbed my thighs together as I felt my pussy ache with need at his words had sparked a fire inside of me as I picked up the pace “Such a eager little whore” Kylo growled as he fucked my mouth deeper with each snap of his hips, watching me intently as drool dribbled from between my lips and down my chin. 

Wrapping my hands around his base I began stroking him as he was slick from my saliva, sucking him harder, I pressed my tongue against the head and circled around it. His hips bucked violently, and he tugged on my hair forward shoving his dick deeper into my throat, hissing in pleasure he continue fucking my throat. The room’s atmosphere was hot as I felt my skin had a thin sheen of sweat as the air between us had switched to a more thick white hot heat. Kylo towered over me, my body tingled as my lips and tongue were aching and my jaw sore with the way he had just fucked my mouth. I felt his cock twitch in my mouth as both his hands grabbed fistfuls of my hair, as hot streams of his cum shot to the back of my throat and slid down my throat. Swallowing his cum, I panted as I greedily swallowed mouthfuls of air, as I hadn’t realized that I was in desperate need of. 

“You did a good job kitten,” Tucking himself back into his pants, he squatted down in front of me placing a chaste kiss on my lips 

“I-thank you…” I mumbled shyly with a slight smile after my breathing had returned to normal, he let out a dark chuckle as he continue running his fingers in my hair 

“Do you still wanna cum?”

“Yes...please…” I whispered as the burning ache for Kylo was still there “P-please touch me…”His hand left my hair as his finger trailed down my neck where he placed a soft kiss on the mark he had left. Moving his face away from my neck, he wrapped his large hand around my throat and smirked. 

“My hand wrapped around your pretty little neck is a sight that will forever be ingrained in my memory” He murmured in my ear “Tell me exactly what you want kitten”

“Please make me cum Kylo…”

“Louder” He demanded 

“The knights will hear me…”

“Let them hear you, they’ll know that you belong to me” The possession in his tone made my pussy ache and my heartbeat quicker. Rubbing my thighs together, he licked his lips as he squeezed my throat, a loud moan involuntary left my lips. 

“You’re such a good girl,” He cooed as he used his other hand to cup my dripping sex, he parting my thighs carefully until I was bare for him. “You’re soaking wet for me already”

“F-fuck Kylo, please just make me cum already!”

“An eager little whore aren’t you?” Dropping his hands from me, he used the force to push me back against the bed as he positioned himself in between my legs. “Perfect pink lips and a beautiful little slit” He rubbed his nose against my clothed core as he breathed in my scent. In a quick second he had yanked my underwear off before he latched his mouth onto my sensitive clit, sucking hard. Yelping loudly, I slammed my hand over my mouth to silence myself as I didn’t want the knights to hear my moans. “Remove that hand over your mouth or I will tie you up to the bed” 

“Oh~” Kylo seemed to not care in the slightest as he circled his tongue around my clit and tasted me shamelessly.

“I’ll take that into account next time” He looked up and locked eyes with me, heavy lust and desire clouded his almost black eyes. 

"Kylo," I gasped, pulling at his hair. "You...you feel so wonderful—"

I was cut off by another loud moan as he forcefully parted my thighs further, with a wicked grin he continued his administrations. Burying his face in between my spread legs, he licked my slit as his tongue made quick, yet precise, movements between my lips. Burying two fingers inside me as well as his tongue rested pressed on my clit. My eyes rolled back as soon as his mouth resumed its movements between my legs. One of his hands roughly kneaded my inner thighs, his nails digging into them as pained moans left my lips. My back arched off the bed as I rolled my hips, my fists clenching and unclenching in his hair. It didn't take long for me to reach my peak of pleasure. The moment I felt him suckle my clit strongly curve his digits just at the right angle, I was pushed off the edge, biting my bottom lip hard unknowingly drawing blood.

“Your lips make the most beautiful sounds” Murmuring softly he detached himself from me as I fell back against the bed. Tired and spent, my nether regions throbbed from the aftershocks of my orgasm. Slowly returning from my high, my hands wove themselves through the darkness of his hair. After several moments, he climbed up my body and left small kisses on my collarbone. 

“K-Kylo…”

“My pretty little thing” He murmured under his breath as he tugged on a piece of my hair before his finger trailed over the bruised flesh at the junction of my neck “Get some rest, we’ll talk in the morning” Standing he peered down at me with an unreadable look before he looked towards my bedroom door

“Kylo, I need to kn-” 

“You’re mine,” He blinked “my pretty thing” Then he left me in the silence of my bedroom as the urge to sleep weighed heavily on me before I realized that he was siphoning his energy into me, lulling me into a calm and peaceful sleep. To make sure that I slept through the entire night without another nightmare. He was so familiar. He was right. Our bond was the only stability I had in my life, probably the only stability I would ever have. He was looking out for me. 

Kylo was taking care of me.

_________

“What did General Hux have you do that involved you leaving on short notice?”

“I don’t feel like getting into it as I just want you to complete the mission so we may leave this vile cesspool they mistake as a planet” 

“I’m sensing you’re not a fan then?” 

“Your sarcasm is duly noted Miss Blaine, or should I say Miss Kenobi?”

“I prefer if you didn’t toss around my surname as if it was normal”

“You must accept your origins of birth”

“Only when you accept your own Master” I heard him adjust himself in his seat 

“Do you insist on going out and shopping?” Such a child

Since I learned that I was spending your credits and not mine? Yes.

“This mission is a vacation for me as well, so yes I’d love to do some shopping before we have to get back to starkiller and I’m forced to remain in the confines of the base” Slipping the flats on my feet, I stepped out of my bedroom to see Kylo sitting in the armchair with a glass in hand holding it lazily. Glancing at me briefly, he slowly eyed my appearance with narrowed eyes. “Does this fit your approval dear Master?” Sarcasm dripped from my tone as his gaze snapped up to me 

“Instead of running that nasty little mouth of yours I can think of something else for it to do,” Last night’s events flashed in my mind, biting back a moan I could feel that familiar ache reappear “Why don’t we go see a show at the opera house tonight, if my apprentice is eager to do everything?” 

“Maybe tomorrow night as I have plans for dinner and a race,” Walking over to the bar I sat on the stool as Cardo began making me a drink. Who would have thought that Cardo was an amazing bartender, funny huh? 

“What do you mean that you have plans for tonight?” 

“I have dinner with a Mr. Skyjuli Derrpol and then we are going to go see a Fathier race, I’ve never seen one so I’m curious to see what all the excitement is about” Taking my drink from Cardo, I flashed him a smile before taking a sip of the bright blue liquid out of the glass

“No.” Swivelling in the barstool, I watched as Kylo shook his head at me as he gave me a pointed look “You’re not going on a date”

“It’s for the assignment, he is one of the force users that is apart of the Allied,” Taking another sip of my drink “So yes I am going”

“You’re putting yourself in danger” 

“I’m capable of taking care of myself Kylo, I’m a big girl who can make her own decisions” Downing the rest of his drink, in a rush of movement he stood and threw the glass across the room. Hitting the wall it shattered and fell to the floor in several pieces. “That was very unnecessary” 

“Out!” He barked, Cardo took his drink and left the room quickly leaving Kylo and I only six feet apart from one another “I will not allow you to put yourself in danger as we have no idea what is going to trigger the events of your death, you aren’t strong enough to handle somebody with his training by yourself” 

“The Supreme Leader gave me this assignment as he believes that I can take down this organization, and just last night you told me that I need to trust in my own abilities and now you’re telling me I’m not strong enough?” 

“You haven’t completed your training and we both know that you are still learning how to use the force to your whim. I’m your teacher and I’m telling you that you aren’t ready to face somebody of his skill” 

“Why don’t you just trust me that I am more capable than you think?” Downing the rest of my own drink “To trust that I can take this organization down on my own? Is it that hard to believe that I am capable of doing said task?” 

“You’re still so naivé of everything,” Running a hand through his hair he began pacing the room “Trust me when I tell you that you aren’t ready to fight this man, you’re still weak” Clenching my jaw, I flung the glass at him, it stopped and flew across the room and hit the same wall that he had thrown his at 

“You’re such a fucking arrogant prick!” Only Kylo could provoke the anger in me, only he could make me lose my patience and lose my cool. Kylo Ren was under my skin and I hated that he was able to irritate me so easily “I’m not weak!”

“You’re still that insolent little girl from the day I met you,” He seethed as he made his way towards me “So much potential to be powerful and yet you’re acting like a foolish little girl” 

“This foolish little girl has managed to go undercover the fool the resistance for six months and gather intel, while still training myself” 

“You’re not ready, and that’s the end of it!” He turned to leave, grabbing a pillow off the couch I threw the object at his head. Smirking in victory I watched as it hit him before it fell to the floor before he slowly turned towards me with a twitching eye. 

“Problem Master?” 

“This nasty little attitude of yours is getting on my last nerve, I advise that you stop running that mouth of yours before I make you”

“Kylo, please think more rationally” Crossing my arms I eyed him as he took deep breaths through his nose, he was attempting to calm himself down before snapping

“I am thinking rationally,” He sniped “You are putting yourself in danger when there is another solution to taking them down” 

“Why does it matter if I am putting myself in danger?! If I die then oh well!” In a blink of an eye he had closed the distance, grabbing my shoulders he stared at me with an unreadable expression in his eyes. 

“Do you really think your life is that meaningless? It just goes to show that you are a foolish little girl who doesn’t quite comprehend the fact that you shouldn’t pawn your life away so easily, especially since it’s not your life to give away as your life belongs to me.” He hissed as I could feel his anger and hurt in my own veins 

“I vowed my life to fight by your side and to never abandon you, t-“

“By throwing your life away for some ridiculous mission you are abandoning me, you are forgetting that we are bound to one another. That when your light dies out…you will have left me to wander this galaxy all alone. That I would feel your light die out and it would kill a part of me…” 

—————-

“Lord Ren isn’t pleased with this plan of yours Mistress” Vicrul murmured as we sat in the back of the speeder with Trudgen and Cardo facing us “Are you sure this is a good idea to play this dangerous game with a man we know nothing about?” 

After Kylo had said those heart wrenching words he had let go of me and left, I went shopping as I planned but when I came back he was nowhere to be found and I feared that maybe I had wounded him. He blocked me from his mind and it bothered me that he had done it as I now realize how he had felt. I had isolated him from my mind and it felt so dark and lonely, as I couldn’t feel his presence at the edges of my mind. His words were still echoing through my head, guilt weighed heavy on my shoulders but I didn’t have time to dwell on the fact as I had a mission to complete. A mission that involved seducing force users to gain intel and then kill them until their organization was destroyed. Then I would find and get my hands on my true target. As my eye was on the prize, that prize being King Ferial, as he would be begging for me to give him a quick and merciful death. 

“It’s the only way to complete this mission and take the organization down,” 

I had chosen the black off the shoulder halter neckline mini dress, it was backless and was short as it barely covered my ass. With gold makeup and my hair thrown into an elegant bun, I was meeting with Mr. Skyjuli Derrpol at the races instead of dinner as he had to cancel as something came up unexpectedly. Which was perfectly fine with me as I didn’t have to sit at a table for two as he drones on about how successful he was. 

“As you wish” Vicrul murmured before he turned to look out the window 

“I will be the one to drive my lightsaber through Ferial’s heart once I find that bastard and make him pay for what he did” 

Ferial. 

The bastard that had got away. The man that betrayed and deceived both the First Order and The Republic. A stupid genius who worked for a secret organization called The Allied, that had fourteen force users led by a man that went by the code name of M’inoli. A force user himself. Just the thought of this organization made me sick to my stomach as I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat. 

“We’re here Mistress,” Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked to see that we had indeed stopped. Taking Vicrul’s hand he helped me out of the speeder before offering me his arm and began walking inside of the large building

“My, you look ravishing Miss Lenora” Dressed in a crisp white and expensive suit he strode over to me with a smirk as he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before he eyed Vicrul, Trudgen and Cardo with apprehension “I didn’t realize you would be bringing your...bodyguards with you”

“Wherever I go, they follow” Striding over to the small bar I was handed a pink martini “I hope this doesn’t change anything” Turning I took a sip of my drink as I watched him eye the three psychos with narrowed eyes 

“Of course not,” 

“Good, I was really enjoying your company last night at the casino” With a coy smile I watched as he snapped his head towards me with lust in his eyes, ignoring the knights he strode over to me 

“Is that so?” He paused “Maybe after the race we could go somewhere more private don’t you think?” 

“Maybe,” Taking another sip of my martini, I walked over to the ceiling to floor length windows as the races were beginning to start, as the Fathiers were lined up at the gates. They seemed to be beautiful and gentle creatures yet I could feel their anguish from here, looking closer I could see that they had scars on them. Scars from abuse. What kind of hell was this place? Abusing creatures for the sake of making a profit? Maybe after this mission was over I will burn this place down along with the people who are responsible for hurting the beautiful and majestic creatures. 

For the next couple of hours, we watched race after race. I had become disinterested very quickly before the races even started. Instead I nursed glasses of alcohol as I smiled and pretended to enjoy the races, but in reality I was wondering how long this night was going to continue to drag on. Luckily I didn’t have to dwell on those thoughts long as Sky had ushered me out of the room and out of the building with the knights trailing behind us.

“So my place?” He placed a hand on the small of my back as he took a step closer to me, “A night cap sounds nice, no?”

“It does but a I’m tired from all of the excitement from today as I have important matters to deal with back at my suite” 

He raised an eyebrow “Oh? What kind of matters?”

“The personal kind Mr. Derrpol,” 

“Mysterious women indeed,” He smirked as he scanned my face thoughtfully before continuing “There is a ball in a few days and I ask that you come as my date”

A ball? Hmm…

“A ball does sound very appealing but I don’t like the thought of being around brainless power hungry elites” 

He chuckled “It’s an invite only ball, a ball that is being hosted by someone like us…” 

Was he referring to M’inoli?

“I see,” 

“Does this mean yes?”

“I’ll consider it if that means going on another date tomorrow night,” Taking my small hand in his large one he knelt down as he kissed it 

“It would be my pleasure Miss Lenora,”

“Tomorrow night, maybe a quiet dinner?” 

“I’d love nothing more, until then I bid you goodnight” 

“Goodnight Mr. Derrpol,”

Letting go of my hand, he opened the door to the speeder and helped me inside as the knights followed in suit passing him dirty looks before climbing in. As soon as the door closed, I watched as Trudgen and Cardo began whispering amongst each other as Vicrul sat quietly beside me. Leaning against the seat I let out a tired yawn as I could feel exhaustion seep into my body. The ride in the luxurious speeder was spent in silence besides Trudgen and Cardo whisperings and snickers. They were like little school girls. 

When I returned back to the suite I wasn’t surprised to find Kylo still wasn’t back as the other knights were gone as well. Instead I took my time bathing and dressed myself for bed as I hoped that I could have a civil conversation with Kylo before my next “date”. 

“Things seem to be coming along nicely Commander Mari,” General Hux stood tall with his hands clasped behind him as he gave me a soft smile “You have done exceptionally well with this particular assignment” 

“Thank you General, I consider your compliments as a high honor” Smiling back to the ginger haired male, I watched as he averted his gaze slightly before coughing into his fist 

“Yes well, I only give compliments to those I see that deserve them”

“Thank you General, I do hope that I continue to meet your expectations that you have” Pausing I felt a disturbance “It’s getting rather late as I wish to retire for the night”

“That is quite understandable,” He bowed his head “Goodnight Commander, sleep well” Then the projection had fizzled out, moving from the balcony and inside my room I set the small communication device on my bedside table.

Grabbing my lightsaber off the table, I activated it as I walked closer to my bedroom door where I could hear the knights shuffling as they had felt it too. Igniting my blade, I placed one hand on the knob before I heard a sharp gasp and then a thud. Slamming the door open, I found myself blinking at the scene before me. Trudgen, Cardo and Vicrul were standing over a man dressed in the hotel uniform. He squirmed underneath their gazed as he was curled up into a fetal position on the floor sobbing. 

Deactivating my lightsaber, “What are you three doing?” They snapped their heads to me and exchanged looks with one another before turning back to me

“He was at the door listening” Vicrul answered blankly “What else were we supposed to do?” 

Letting out a deep sigh, I walked over to the young man who began shaking. Squatting down I placed my hand on his arm and forced him to calm down. He looked up at me, raising my hand over him I spoke softly “You will forget this happened and will go back to working” 

“I will forget this happened and will go back to working” he stated in a monotone voice as he picked himself off the floor and left the room

“Why can’t you let us have any fun?” Trudgen let out a frustrating growl as he stomped towards the living room “He would have made an excellent toy for the night” 

“I am on a mission that involves me to keep a low profile and you kidnapping and torturing a bellboy doesn’t fit that criteria” 

“God you’re not fun,”

“If you’re so desperate to have fun then there is the door, I will not have you screw this up for me, or for the Supreme Leader”

“Oooo, now there’s the fiery attitude that I heard so much about from Cardo,” Switching my gaze from Trudgen to Cardo, he shrugged as he continued making his drink from behind the bar. 

Cardo, such a gossip. He would make an excellent bartender that was for sure. 

“I’m going to retire for the night, I’ll see you in the morning and tell Kylo to not disturb me”

——————

“We’re going out” Kylo stated as I stepped out of my bedroom, he stood tall and confident in his black robes 

“I can’t be seen with you, or have you forgotten about the mission?” 

“I haven’t forgotten, I just don’t listen to that prick” The prick he was referring to was General Hux. Such children, they were.

“Kylo,” I paused “I can’t risk this mission because you want to piss off Hux, I have plans to go sightseeing as I wish to see as much as I can before returning to starkiller”

“Then I shall accompany you for the day,”

“I don’t think—”

“This is not up for discussion,” Letting out a sigh I shook my head “I’m assuming you’re hungry so we shall eat before anything else”

“Fine, but can you at least wear a disguise? This mission means a great deal to me”

A beat of silence, turning he left me standing in the living room as the knights watched scattered all over the living room with drinks in hand and snickers. 

“One word, and I’ll personally drown every single one of you in the ocean” They all exchanged looks with one another before they began barking out laughs. 

—————


	23. Little One

After an hour-long lunch of him just watching me eat from across the marble table, we walked around the large city of Canto Bight. It was so calm and peaceful compared to the night, and I enjoyed it as we had walked on the cobblestone roads. I think Kylo secretly likes it as well since there were hardly any people out and about. The only people awake were shop owners and the occasional tourists who had their noses stuck in datapads and making impulse purchases. 

Kylo had disguised himself by being dressed in a nice suit and wore black sunglasses to cover his face. His disguise was ridiculous but it was the best he could do as nobody knew what the Great Commander Kylo Ren looked like. He blended in as a socialite as I found it unnerving to see him blend in so easily. It showed that he was adaptable. Seeing him in something other than his black robes and that mask. The mask that struck fear in people’s hearts. I remembered seeing his face for the first time, he had taken off his mask in front of me. It was during a private training session of ours, he had gotten frustrated as I was struggling to understand the concept of a new technique he was attempting to teach me. He had taken his mask off and thrown it against the wall, and in a fit of rage had killed two stormtroopers who had walked in at the wrong moment. 

“Your mind is wandering” 

“Yes,” We were outside of Canto Bight, we were walking through the large fields on the outskirts of the sleeping city. “I apologize as I shouldn’t be so distracted when an enemy could easily attack” 

“Your correct, little one” Glancing at him, I saw a hint of a smile on his face “But when you’re with me you can let your mind wander, understand?”

_ Kylo is trying to give me a sense of stability, to give me the one thing that I craved, the one thing he desired to be that only person to give me. He was trying to reassure me that he was more than capable of taking care of my problems. That he was able to take care of me with ease.  _

“I appreciate the gesture,” 

After another thirty minutes of comfortable silence, we had hiked up the hill that overlooked the beach. As we could see the entire city of Canto Bight, smiling I ditched my shoes and stretched my arms out like a bird. Closing my eyes I basked in the bright sun as the ocean breeze whipped across my face.

I felt free. 

“Before I took your hand I had never left my planet, I never left home in fear that I would be forced to choose a side of the war,” Dropping my arms to my sides “In just a little over a year, I’ve been to several places and have met so many different people. I’ve been able to experience things I never would have if I hadn’t made that deal with you” Turning around I found Kylo watching me intently from a couple of feet away with his hands stuffed in his pockets 

He smirked “You’re welcome,”

_ He’s such an ass sometimes _

“Is it ridiculous to have aspirations of something I know that I cannot ever have?” 

“Depends,” he paused in thought, “what aspirations do you have that you aren’t allowed to entertain?”

“A form of attachment, not necessarily a romantic interest but something that will remind me that I’m a person at the end of the day” 

“This has to do with you dying,” He took a couple of steps closer to me “you fear that you will die alone and nobody would mourn you”

_ He does know _

“Exactly,” Hugging myself, I averted my gaze back towards the calm ocean and away from his prying eyes and accurate truths 

“This is ridiculous for you to think such thoughts,” He snipped as he let out a loud sigh “You have other things to focus on such as this assignment” 

_ Once more he throws me in for a loop. _

Clenching my jaw, I walked over to where I ditched my shoes and picked them up “Then I guess we should be getting back then, I have places to be, don't you know?” Briskly walking past him, I had grazed up against his arm. His hand wrapped around my arm as he pulled me flushed against his body. “Can I help you?”

His hand tightened on my arm, “No,” Letting me go he turned and began walking ahead of me down the hill and back towards the city 

* * *

“How do I look?” I fixed the long black gloves I wore as I had gathered all six men's attention “Does this dress say I’m about to have some expensive champagne and then murder somebody?” They all stared at me and turned to one another, a silent conversation seeming to go and forth between them

It was the night of the ball and the past few nights had been spent with me on Skyjul’s arm in the casinos, operas or dinners. I hadn’t been able to gather any information out of him yet and it frustrated me to no end. Tonight, I hoped to kidnap him, torture him, and then kill him and move onto the next force user. He was merely just a name in my book of people I had killed. I kept a journal of the names of people I killed, and the list was very long. 

“You look beautiful mistress” Vicrul was the first to speak up like usual as he turned his attention back towards me 

“It’s a shame you get to kill the guy” Trudgen seemed to be pouting slightly, rolling my eyes I walked further into the room 

“Vicrul, Ushar and Trudgen will be accompanying you tonight at the party” We all snapped our heads towards the deep baritone voice of our Master. He stood in his black robes as he kept his gaze steady on me. 

“Yes Master,” They snapped to attention as they left to get ready as the other three left the room leaving Kylo and I alone in the room 

“You look gorgeous,” He murmured as he took several steps closer towards me, “The dress I chose looks good on you” 

“Thank you,” I adjusted the skirts of my dress as I found the silence to be awkward and stifling “You really do have good taste” 

“You seem surprised by this”

“It’s not everyday I’m having to wear a frivolous dress on my way to kill somebody” 

He chuckled darkly “Skyjul doesn’t know what’s coming for him”

“You believe today that my skills are enough to kill the force user?” I scoffed remembering just a few days again that he had told me that I was weak and foolish. Like a child. 

He swore under his breath “You make everything so difficult by assuming and arguing, things would be so much easier if you were just obedient and compliant like the good girl you are” 

“I was never compliant,” walking over to the small bar I poured myself a drink as I looked back to see him staring at me “by letting you think you have had the same idea, then I could easily agree with it, which would then give you the illusion of being in control” 

His lips twitched “The illusion of control?”

“Yes,” I snorted “Anyway, after I kill him it would be wise for you to leave the planet that way they don’t find you” 

“You're asking me to run? From a fight? And leave you behind?” 

I shrugged “Yeah, problem?” His eye began twitching as he breathed through his nose dangerously calm 

“Out of the question,” 

“I’m not fighting with you”

“Good, because it was never up for discussion”

“You know what? Do whatever you want, I don’t care anymore. All I’m going to focus on is killing him after I get the information I need and moving onto the next target” 

Setting the empty glass down, I picked up the skirts of my glimmering black and beige dress. Vicrul, Ushar, and Trudgen were waiting patiently by the door as they were dressed in suits. Taking Vicrul’s offered arm, I turned back to Kylo who was already staring at me. 

He swallowed “If you’re in danger you know what to do” 

“Yes Master,” 

* * *

“You look wonderful my dear” I forced a smile to my face as Skyjul strode over to me with a large grin and open arms 

“Thank you” It felt wrong for him to hug me but I forced that feeling down as I pulled away from him “Whoever planned the party did a marvelous job with everything”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, care to dance?” 

“I’d love to” 

Vicrul, Ushar, and Trudgen were on the outer edges of the large ballroom watching for any activity. I couldn’t feel any force sensitivity in this large ballroom but I could feel that Skyjul’s sensitivity was very low and faint. The others could be masking theirs like the knights are. 

Several hours ticked by drinking champagne and dancing with Skyjul, he had yet to introduce me to any of his other force user friends. Instead I’ve been forced to smile and pretend to be interested in politics and the war regarding the Order and the Republic. I had to be careful to not drink so much otherwise I’d ruin the mission by becoming wasted. Yet the night was growing late and I had yet to get Sky alone to have him captured. I was growing tired and my feet were beginning to hurt from dancing in heels. 

_ I felt it. _

A familiar life force that I hadn’t felt in over six months, a life force that I have been itching to kill. A life force that belonged to none other than  _ Ferial _ . Bringing the glass of champagne to my lips I scanned around the ballroom with narrowed eyes. 

**He’s here Mistress**

**The bastard is mine**

**Do we stand down?**

**Ushar, Trudgen and you will guard the exit and make sure he doesn’t leave this party**

**Understood Mistress**

“Excuse me I wish to grab another drink” 

“Are you sure? I could get it for you” Skyjul asked as he stopped his conversation with two high ranking politicians and turned to me 

“Yes, I’m going to get some air as well as I’m growing really hot in here” He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek with a wide smile 

“Don’t go wandering too far” 

I smiled as I patted his arm reassuringly, “Wouldn’t dream of it”

Following the path of the familiar force signature, I weaved through the crowds of people dressed in expensive clothes. Ignoring everything around me as all I could focus on was the owner of said signature and how I wanted to paint this damn city with his blood until every single drop was used. It didn’t take long for me to find him as he was smiling and chatting with a very young woman in a pristine white suit and his hair gelled back. 

_ Disgusting oaf. _

Sliding next to Ferial, I put on a happy face as I beamed at the women. “Mind if I have the next dance?” I felt his eyes on me, fear and caution swirling in his narrowed gaze 

“A bold move from a woman of  _ your _ standing” He hissed quietly not even noticing that the young women had excused herself after feeling the tension between the both of us and left 

“Are you able to dance or are your hands covered in too much blood that you are unable to?” Within several moments he had his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me against his body, his other hand clasping my own. 

He leaned towards my ear “I’m not the only one who has blood on their hands” 

“At least the blood on my hands aren’t taintinted by the blood of innocent bystanders” 

“Touché,” We began waltzing across the floor as we blended in with the crowd of dancing nobility. The entire atmosphere of this whole room was thick with a miasma of deceit and hunger, a hunger that craved power and money.  _ It was disgusting.  _ All the people in this room are only after power, wealth, and influence. They didn’t have any morals or beliefs. No, they lived by a different code. A code of who could lie and deceive the most to be the last one standing. Just like Ferial. 

“I still wish to take you as my wife,” He kept his mouth close to my ear as he lead us across the floor “You’re a beautiful women who is not only powerful and influential but you have a way of charming any man to give you what you desire” 

It took everything in order for me to not throw up all over him. What he was saying was true but felt so dirty at the same time. 

“You wish to use me?” 

“It could be a beneficial relationship for the both of us, a relationship where we give and take” 

Did this man really believe that I would agree to such a thing? I made my vow to Kylo. To never abandon him, to never leave his side. But even with the vow I wouldn’t ever let a man disgrace my honor and respect as a woman to give into them and be their plaything. The plaything to lure in other men and get rid of them by certain means of death. The memories of what he had done and how many of his people he had killed resurfaced in my head. Tonight I was supposed to take Skyjul’s life once I got what I wanted and move to my next target, and yet I find myself abandoning said task. To get the revenge that I’ve been waiting for. I guess I should thank General Hux for this assignment as he delivered Ferial to me on a beautiful silver platter. With a dark chuckle I leaned into him and whispered back words I knew he would all be too happy with. 

“Why don’t we take this to a private room to further discuss this newfound business partnership?” 

He smirked at me as he took my hand and led me away from the floor, up the stairs and out the doors as we passed Ushar and Vicrul. Winking at both of them, they knew what needed to be done. 

_ Everything is going according to plan. Just different targets, I can still kill Skyjul later tonight after I finish Ferial off and I can remove that arrogant head off his shoulders. I will kill Ferial, and take this organization down. Mark my words, I will kill every single person that stands in the way of my path to becoming something magnificent. To prove to the Supreme Leader and to Kylo that they were correct to believe in me, to believe the huge potential that they saw in me almost a year ago. _


	24. I'm giving you what you desire

“What did you do?”

Looking up from my hands that were covered in the dark crimson liquid, I met the gaze of a concerned Kylo. He was dressed in his black robes, mask and that heavy cape of his. Ferial’s screams were still bouncing around in my head, they had been drowned out by the loud music and the laughter of aristocrats and politicians. 

“What I had promised all those months ago” His gaze shifted to Ferial’s body that was tied to the chair, his head was decapitated as it had rolled a few feet away from where I laid in front of his motionless body. His pristine crisp white suit covered in blood and sweat as I had cut him up. Each cut represented an innocent life he had taken on that planet. It brought a sick sense of satisfaction to my core at hearing him beg and plead for his life. To have his life in my hands and to toy with it in front of him. His blood covered my hands as I had dropped the large knife I had used. It clattered on the marble flooring, as blood dripped off of it and onto the floor. “He had it coming for him”

“You need to clean yourself up, I’ll have all of this taken care of. You should be more cautious killing people in such a close proximity of the party. ” 

“He was worth it, he took so many innocent lives. The lives he had sworn to protect when he took up the crown” Striding over to me, he slipped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. Wrapping my arms around him with hesitation, I let him hold me. 

“I’ll have them clean this up before anybody finds out, you need to return back to the ball before your date realizes that you’ve been gone for too long” 

_ Them.  _

_ The Knights of Ren. _

“I’m tired though”

I really was tired. I just wanted to crawl into bed and to sleep for a long time. So much has been going on in my life and I wanted a small break. A small break from everything that was going on, to go back to Arth. To lay under the tree, under the stars and in the cool wind as I listened to the rustling of the leaves. That was my safe place. The place I went to in order to just lose myself from the real world. 

“I know, but we still both have work to do” He murmured in my ear “since you’ve been such a good girl I’ll take care of you as soon as you get back to the room” His gloved hand brushed up and down my spine as he left small little fires in his wake, the dark promise that was laced in his words brought an involuntary moan to spill from my lips as he latched his mouth onto my neck “Submit and be mine”

Digging my hands in his hair I titled my head to the side to give him more access “We can’t Kylo” 

He chuckled “We can’t what?”

Another breathy moan “Get distracted” 

“I’m not, are you?”

Pushing his body away from mine, I shook my head of the lust that I was feeling for Kylo. This was so wrong and I’m so many ways. He was my mentor and we worked together. Glancing to the clock, I grimaced as I hadn’t realized I had been gone for over half an hour. I needed to hurry and clean myself of Ferial’s blood and get back to my date. 

Clearing my throat, I walked towards the doors where I could already feel desperation and hunger from the large party. 

“No, I know exactly what I have to do” 

* * *

“There you are, I was beginning to worry when I couldn’t find you” 

His arm slipped around my waist, bringing me into his side he placed a small kiss on my cheek. Forcing out a shaky laugh, I had to force myself to calm down and lean into him. His touch was warm but it was still so empty. 

“I’m sorry, I had to go to the washroom and got a bit turned around on my way back” he patted my back with a smile 

“Don’t worry about it, I was actually going to go look for you as I want you to meet a good friend of mine” Placing his hand on the small of my back, he led me out of the ballroom and out the balcony doors into the cool crisp air. Weaving through the trees on the grounds, I could feel three force signatures up ahead as it brought a queasy feeling to my stomach. Straightening my back, I calmed my racing heart as I tried focusing on the fact that I was about to meet more force users. Force users who were a part of a growing secret organization that was betraying both the Republic and the First Order. I had every right to be nervous as I knew close to nothing about them. Knew nothing about what they were capable.

“Mari, this is my good friend Abel Kanetol, but he goes by the name M’inoli” He had a wide smile on his face as his hand on the small of my back had tightened. Was he scared of his supposed “friend”?

“It’s nice to meet you,” He was a towering figure, he was just as built as Kylo, if not a bit more. He had short blonde hair and dark green eyes, he had a tattoo on the side of his neck, it was too dark in here to see it clearly but it looked like several markings. Two women stood not to far from us, they eyed me silently. One was a Dressellian and the other was a Twi’lek, they must be determining whether I was to be trusted or not. Makes sense, they had reason to doubt me as I was an outsider. Focusing my attention back to the tall man before me, I offered my hand. 

“Sky was right when he said that you were a true beauty,” he took my hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed it “You may call me M’inoli as I believe that you will be a wonderful asset to our growing organization” I bite back the disgust I felt and instead slapped on a polite smile. 

“I hope to not disappoint you” 

He smirked “You’re  _ perfect _ ” 

For the next hour he didn’t talk much about the organization as he had instead switched the topic over to arm dealings. I had spent my time soaking up the information silently and drank champagne as I wondered just how long this meeting was going to last as it was getting very late. As if the heavens had heard me, Sky was finishing up his conversation with M’inoli as they were whispering amongst themselves. 

“I hope to see you tomorrow afternoon for a lunch in the city” M’inoli had turned his attention to me “Sky will be accompanying you of course as it seems he has taken a liking to you” 

_ Shit. _

“I wouldn’t miss it,” He took my hand once more and kissed it “I do hope we can talk more” 

“I hope so too” 

* * *

Two hours later, I stood still in my evening gown as I recounted everything that happened to Supreme Leader Snoke and General Hux. Their projections staring at me with void expressions as we waited for Snoke to tell me what our next plan was. I couldn’t kill Sky tonight because I needed him in order to gain the trust of M’inoli and to continue infiltrating the secret organization. 

“You will continue this mission by gathering information, gaining their trust, and getting close to the man named Skyjul” Snoke stroked his chin with deep thought “I expect you to do whatever it takes to please them and to become close with this man to secure your position within their ranks” 

I bowed my head “Understood” 

“Ren and the Knights will stay stationed on the planet with you if anything is to go awry” 

Kylo stood beside me tall and firm, without his mask as he nodded his head

“General Hux will be taking care of things back at StarKiller until the organization is dismantled” 

We spoke in unison “Yes Supreme Leader” He waved his hand in the air as his way of dismissing us. Both projections dissolved leaving Kylo and I standing side by side in the living room of the suite. It was early morning as the clock was beginning to hit 3 a.m and I grew weary asI found it hard to keep my eyes open any much longer. 

“I assume his body was dealt with” I spoke softly as I kicked off my heels and walked into my room where I knew he would follow “as well as all the mess I had made” 

“Cardo took care of the body as Ap’lek had cleaned up the mess you had made” 

Grabbing my nightgown and my robe, I made my way towards the bathroom to change as Kylo had taken his seat in the edge of my bed “I'm assuming that by taking care of the body he’s having his own fun you mean” 

“Of course,” Quickly stripping off the dress I hung it back in the small closet that was connected as I had clothes for any occasion. “Where do you think the knights are right now?” 

_ Sick bastards.  _

I snorted as I began taking off my makeup “Jerking each other off in some whore house in the pleasure district” 

“You know that they can’t take pleasure unless I give permission that they can” 

_ Our Master. His word. His rules.  _

Stepping out of the bathroom I took my hair out of its hold as I found Kylo holding a box in his lap. What could he have gotten? When did he leave to get it is the more important question. 

“A gift?”

He slowly shook his head “Yes”

Walking towards him, I stopped until I was in between his legs as he stared up at me with the box still in his hands. Placing my hands on top of the lid, I wondered why he had get the need to get me something. It was a rather odd thing to do but really all I know is that Kylo always did the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do. Opening the box, I threw the lid onto the bed and was surprised to see a small little ball of fluff curled up sleeping in the box. Looking back up to Kylo, he must have known what was going through my mind as he immediately answered. 

“I’m giving you what you desire” Picking up the small white fluff ball I hugged it to my chest as it slowly woke up. “You desire to have an attachment and after speaking with the General on  _ pets,  _ he deemed this to be the perfect one suitable to your personality” He cleared his throat as he set the box down next to him 

_ He cares about my heart's desires. He was listening to me. Is this because of the bond? Or something more? No. Stop being foolish. Maybe he is right and I am a bit of a child.  _

“Thank you,” I smiled, as the small fur ball turned out to be a small puppy as it’s black eyes stared at me and it’s black nose sniffed me “This means a lot to me” 

I wasn’t going to question it as I didn’t want to offend the kind gesture he had gone out of his way to do for me. 

He cleared his throat again “It needs a name, you should give it one and start taking care of it as it’s yours now” 

He was right. 

Hmmm….it’s a girl so what would I name it? Glancing to Kylo, he stared at me in patience as he waited for me to pick a name for the fluff ball in my arms. After several moments in thought, my smile grew bigger as I knew exactly what to call her. 

“I have decided” 

“And?”

“Her name shall be A’rth” His eyes grew wide as he stared at me with slight surprise but was quickly masked with indifference 

“Why that place?” 

“It’s my home,” I bit my lip “It’s also the place where you…” I trailed off as I was scared to say it, scared that he would take back those small special words he had said to me. 

_ Where it was just us against the world. The two of us in a huge galaxy, under the stars exchanging unspoken words of attachment.  _

“I see” He hummed as I could feel his stare on me once more “You should get some rest, tomorrow after your brunch you will resume your training with the knights” Standing he walked briskly past me, my eyes following him as he stopped in front of my bedroom door 

“Night Kylo,” 

“Try to get some sleep” He murmured and then left me in the silence of my bedroom 

* * *

Dressed in a floral printed soft pink dress with flared sleeves, I walked in dark pink heels towards the small café where I was to have lunch with M’inoli and Sky. Ushar, Cardo and Trudgen were following me, they were still acting as my bodyguards. They were dressed in black suits and sunglasses as they walked behind me silently. Holding onto my clutch purse that had my lightsaber hidden inside. I hoped that this meeting would go well and I’d be able to impress M’inoli to join the organization, 

_ I was exhausted. _

After Kylo left my room, I had ended up staying up to play with A’rth as she turned out to be an energetic puppy. I spend most of the night just teaching her, her new name. I was successful as she now comes when called. It was amusing when I asked Vicrul to take her out to go to the bathroom, he stared at the small creature with suspicion as he held her as if she was a ticking bomb. Kylo was nowhere to be seen this morning. 

“Mistress,” Snapping out of my thoughts I looked towards Ushar as he held the door open for me “are you alright?”

“Yes, tired but I’m fine” Walking through the doors of the large café, I saw that it was empty and that the only people in the restaurant were seated in the back. 

Taking a deep breath, I smiled as I made my way towards M’inoli and Sky. Both dressed in expensive suits and bright smiles, I bit back the shiver that wanted to crawl down my spine as M’inoli took my hand and kissed it. Taking my seat next to Sky, I was immediately given water as the knights took their seats at a table beside us.

“Bodyguards?” M’inoli questioned as he eyed them 

“Yes,” I smiled as I glanced over to them “I refuse to go anywhere without them as I’m just a woman in a dangerous city” I pouted 

**_Be vulnerable, tease him into believing that you have feelings for him._ **

“Wouldn’t want such a beautiful lady such as yourself to get hurt in a big bad city like this” He smirked as he took a sip of his water 

_ Remember everything you’ve been taught  _

The next hour was spent talking about more arms deals, with a sigh I quietly ate my food as they talked. I didn’t see the other two force users that I had met briefly last night. They were nowhere to be found.  _ Interesting.  _ Where could they have gone? Another hour had ticked by with nothing else going on, but once the dishes were cleared and we were served wine the atmosphere had changed to a more serious nature. 

“Sky told me that you are like “us”,” He emphasized “How have you been able to hide your abilities as a force user?” 

“My Father taught me before he was killed,” I half lied before I continued “he worried that if people were to find out then I’d be forced to join the war between the Republic and the First Order” 

_ That was the truth.  _

“Smart man” He hummed as he leaned further back into the dark leather booth “Who are you and what brought you to Canto Bight?”

“I’ve grown very bored of my home planet and I decided that I could find some kind of adventure right here in Canto Bight.” I answered “I’m the daughter of a wealthy business tycoon from the planet Kinicity, after he died I inherited everything” 

I’m glad that Supreme Leader Snoke convinced our allies to let me play as their daughter otherwise this would be a complete and utter disaster. 

“Wealthy you say?” He stroked his stubble in thought as he eyed me 

“Indeed, my inheritance shall go to my husband whenever I marry” Pausing I shrugged slightly “I wish to join this secret organization of yours”

“You do?” He eyed my face “I think we can find a nice suitable place for you to join and help us” 

“That sounds wonderfully….”

* * *

“...awful!” I hissed under my breath 

It has been a few days since my meeting with M’inoli and since then I have been Sky’s arm candy to help convince allies to join them. Every night it was something new, whether it was a ball, gambling in the casinos, or the high end clubs. I was beyond exhausted at this point as all my nights were spent on the arm of Sky, drinking champagne and entertaining his guests. I wouldn’t come in until the early hours of the morning where I would inform General Hux of my long evening in detail. Kylo was back to being distant as he became more quiet and never bothered me about anything other than the assignment. 

I had just came back from another night filled with drinking and entertaining. I haven’t gathered much information besides learning about the smaller transactions about weapons, ships, and trades. Nothing about their true plans and this was infuriating as all I wanted was to get rid of Sky. He was an agreeable man but he was blind. Blind of what he was really doing. 

“Not having fun?” Sky peered down at me with worry as he turned his whole body towards me

“I’m growing tired is all,” I lied “I’m hoping that I could retire early, that is if M’inoli would allow it?”

“Stay here and I’ll go speak with him,” before I could say anything he placed a kiss on my cheek and disappeared into the crowd

The two women from a week ago immediately made their way towards me dressed in rich silks and priceless jewelry. The Twi’lek was dressed in a dark red gown as the Dressellian was dressed in a dark navy blue. Their arms were linked as they had champagne glasses in hand, making their way towards me. Straightening my back I clutched my drink tightly as I slapped a smile on my face. 

“What can I do for you?” 

The Twi’lek answered first “I’m Ginette but you can call me Gin,” she smiled as she stopped a foot away from me “and this is my girlfriend Lottie” she laid her head on the dressellian’s shoulder 

“It’s nice to meet both of you,” 

“So you’re the new shiny toy for M’inoli” Lottie stayed as she eyed me warily 

Ginette or Gin slapped her on the arm playfully as she shushed her “Don’t be like that, she’s special like us” she murmured quietly as she glanced around to make sure nobody had overheard her

“Fine,” she started drinking as she looked away ignoring us 

“Is Sky courting you or is it just for pleasure?” She asked with a sly grin on her face 

_ Why is everybody so nosy? It’s my business and none of theirs what we were. _

“We haven’t done such...activities,” she grew wide eyed “Nor are we courting but I do like him and I believe he likes me as well” 

_ All lies. I don’t like him. He’s just a means to an end and nothing more as I have more important things to do then grow soft for a man I can’t have. For a man that is on the opposing side of the war, as I belong to the First Order, to Kylo Ren. Yet...maybe I could be with him…NO. This was wrong.  _

“You don’t say,” Gin smiled “He seems to be quite smitten with you as he has been introducing you to his close allies” 

_ Everything was going according to plan.  _

“Smitten?” 

Lottie cut in this time “Of course he is, it’s rather obvious” 

“He’s a good man and you seem to be what he needs as he’s a bit naive not to mention a bit impulsive with his actions” Gin tapped her cheek in thought “You seem to be calm and rationa—”

Before she could finish what she was saying Sky had returned at my side once more with a large grin on his face. He took my champagne glass from me and handed it to a server that was walking by. Sky wrapped his arm around my waist, brought me close to his body and leaned into my ear.

“I’ll escort you back to your speeder,” 

“Thank you,” I smiled before turning back to both women who were watching us “it was lovely meeting you two but I’m afraid I’m a bit exhausted as I’d love to talk tomorrow”

“Why not join us to the entertainment district as I’m hoping to catch a show at the opera house” Gin offered with a soft smile “in two days that is”

“That sounds lovely,” 

“Remember what I said dear,” She winked at me as I took Sky’s offered arm as he led me out of the stuffy ballroom. My bodyguards were not too far behind me as they were my shadows, near to stray too far from me. Climbing inside the speeder, the window rolled down as Sky leant down and placed a kiss on my cheek. 

“You’ll be meeting the rest of the members of the organization in a few days at a private dinner party that will be held at M’inoli’s mansion on the hill. So I suggest you get some rest until then”

I winked at him teasingly “I might just do that,”

  
  
  
  
  



	25. Who Am I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back :)

_ Covered in blood she wore a crazed grin on her pale face, her eyes consumed by her lust for blood. Bringing her hand up to the mirror that separated the both of us, she began to write once more in blood. Whose blood? I have no idea. I had a feeling though that it was Ferial’s as he was the last person for me to kill. Especially in such a brutal and grotesque way.  _

_ “What do you want from me?!” Shouting at her did nothing as she merely continued to write on the mirror with eloquent grace  _

**_‘Go to the temple. Find the prophecy. Only then will you receive the answers you are desperate to know.’_ **

_ “What prophecy?!” Banging on the mirror with my fists didn’t seem to faze her as she continued smiling at me before turning away leaving only a trail of blood in her wake “TELL ME!”  _

Bringing the small teacup to my lips, I sat on the balcony in my nightgown as I sipped on the hot liquid that burned my throat. I ignored the hot sensation as I hoped for it to numb my body, to numb the icy feeling of fear that caused me to wake up from my nightmare of _ that woman _ . Nursing the slight headache I recieved, I continued to pet A’rth that laid sleeping in my lap in the cool ocean breeze. 

I didn’t know if I should speak to Kylo about this as I didn’t want to disturb him as he had a lot to deal with already. Yet I knew if I didn’t tell them then he would become upset like when he got upset with me regarding the whole being Obi-Wan Kenobi’s granddaughter. We haven’t talked about it since that night on Earth. 

_ That night was special to say the least. _

The way he had held me close and oh so tight as he had shown me vulnerability that he tried desperate to hide. The vulnerability that came with being a human, that basic need of companionship and affection. Even a man like him needed to feel redeemed, a man who has taken so many lives. I was just like him, as were the knights. We were all human beings who have killed others in the name of finishing what had started all those years ago. In the name of Darth Vader. In the name of Supreme Leader Snoke. 

_ In the name of Kylo Ren.  _

Kylo was like other human beings as he was a different person before he had become the man he is now. He had gone by another name. He was named after my grandfather.  _ Ben Solo.  _ He is a man who desires things all humans desired. The desire to be needed, to matter, to feel worthy, to find his place in this astronomical galaxy.  _ Just like me.  _ It’s why we connect so well. Right? I could be reading too much into our force bond but he had brought this overwhelming feeling of relief whenever I reached out to him.  _ Especially _ that night under the stars as I had fallen asleep on top of him. He had carried me back to the house and tucked me into bed. All night he had stayed in my room and watched over me as he poured his energy into me. To ensure that I slept throughout the night without being woken by those damn premonitions. 

Kylo Ren is a good man, even under all the bloodshed and his lust for power. Especially in my eyes as he has saved my life on multiple occasions. In the year that we have spent together, I’ve seen so many different kinds of people, cultures and and learned so much about other planets. I’ve learned so much under his guidance and I will always be grateful for it. Does that make me such a horrible person for vowing my life to him? To follow him down a path of greed, bloodshed, and uncertainty? 

_ No.  _

_ It doesn’t. _

Yet I still feel immense guilt for shutting him out. As it often slipped my mind that Kylo was only twenty five, that he was only two years older than me. Yet he has done so much more, has accomplished so much that I haven’t ever done. I tended to forget that before I had joined the Order, he was all alone. **_Alone_** _._ To suffer and to deal with everything on his own. Before I had come along, he had been forced to depend on only himself and nobody else. His fear was understandable as it terrified him that I was going to die, the premonition of my death lingered over him. He feared that he’d be alone again. Alone to suffer. 

_ Kylo... _

* * *

_ God I couldn’t stand this stupid party, why was I even here to begin with? Every party was like clockwork. Smile and greet all the guests, then it would move to small talk and drinks before my Dad would give a speech and then I’d be forced to sit at a table with people my age and forced to interact with them. Then as soon as this party was over I’d kick off these heels, run to my safe place and pass out there.  _

_ “Mari! It’s been a while since we saw you last!” A tall and skinny blonde girl made her way towards me dressed in a gown and a large smile  _

_ A fake smile.“It has, hasn’t it?” I was so tired of the same old routine of being the daughter of the town leader. Having to follow all these rules and expectations made me feel so confined to A’rth.  _

_ “What are you up to anyway? Schools been boring since you stopped coming” She was being nice and genuine and yet for some reason her positivity irked me  _

_ “I’ve been working on getting better as my condition is worsening”  _

_ Father had told the town that I had developed a medical condition and that was the reason I was pulled out of school and kept away from the townspeople. It really only made me feel lonely that I was the only person I knew that had the force. Well...besides him…the dark haired boy that I saw often.  _

_ “I’m so sorry to hear that! If you need anything you can always come to us and we’d help you as much as possible!”  _

_ Please go away.  _

_ “I’ll take that into consideration,”  _

_ She smiled once more before finally walking away, leaving me open for anybody to walk up to and start another conversation. I hated these things so much, they were a pain in the ass really. _

_ “Looking sharp Mari,” Kriff, not again  _

_ “It’s nice to see you again Fred,” He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to him in an awkward hug as my arms stayed by my sides “what can I do for you this evening?” _

_ “Maybe we could sneak off an—” _

_ “I’m going to stop you right there Fred, as that was merely only a one time thing”  _

_ Fred was very attractive to the eye, but he wasn’t skilled whatsoever. Kissing him was like kissing a fish, at least a dead fish could kiss better than him.  _

_ “Oh come on Mari…” My fingers twitched as I was really tempted to drown him in the lake nearby _

_ “Mari!” Another female my age walked over with a bright smile as she shoved herself between Fred and I, silently I thanked the heavens for her interruption  _

_ “Hello Maggie,” I smiled genuinely for the first time that night “how are you?”  _

_ “Actually I have this great story to tell you two!” She then launched into her story, silently I zoned out as she talked about god knows what. Letting my gaze wander around the large clearing of lights, music and people. My eyes settled on the large tree in the distance, the same tree I often slept under.  _

_ “You need to be more careful!” An older looking man dressed in white robes shouted as he stared after a tall man with ink black hair who was dressed in padawan’s uniform “you can’t let your emotions control you!”  _

_ “I’m alright Uncle!” He snapped harshly as he walked away from him, his blue lightsaber in hand as he held onto it as if he were about to lose it. His anger channeled through me as I could feel a burning rage inside of me.  _

_ Yet just like the many other times, they both disappeared from my line of sight bringing me back to the present. All the anger immediately disappeared as I now felt calm but a bit confused as to why I could feel his emotions as well. I don’t know much about the force as I only knew what my Father taught me. It was still rather odd though as I’ve never seen the boy so angry before. So wound up as he was always timid, meek and a bit shy around everybody but as soon as he stepped into the ring with his lightsaber. He had this air of confidence about him that gave me the feeling of safety and relief.  _

_ He was intriguing nonetheless.  _

* * *

“How was training?” 

Stepping out of my bathroom as I wore a pretty floral dress, I had just finished showering after a long morning session of sparring with Vicrul, Usher and Ap’lek. Kylo sat on the corner of my bed, he was dressed in his usual attire. I couldn't begin to comprehend how he could wear that thing without getting hot. Just his cape alone looked as if it was like 90 pounds, it was freaking heavy in my opinion. 

“Fulfilling, it feels nice to get back into the ring,” A’rth was hopping around on my bed playing with one of those toys I had bought her in the shopping district yesterday. “I’m surprised you didn’t come to criticize my foot positioning or my lack of confidence in my abilities” 

“I got caught up with things,” 

He was drifting from me and I could feel it, the distance between the two of us is astronomical. I wondered why he was distancing himself now. It just didn’t make sense to me. When did he start distancing himself from me? Was this my fault? Did I cause him to step back away from me? 

“Hn,”

I didn’t know how to act around him as once again something had shifted between us, something that I found difficult to describe. Always one step forward and two steps back. He was so infuriating at times. 

Moving around the room, I continued to finish getting ready as I wanted to spend the day in the city alone. No Sky and no Knights. I wanted some alone time to myself, because I felt like I was drowning if I continued this mission without a breather. 

“Where are you going?”

“I want some alone time,” 

“Out of the question,” swiveling on my heel of my foot I turned to him as I hoped that I had heard him wrong 

“What?”

“You heard me correctly,” he answered curtly “you’re not going as you have an assignment to do” 

“I just want a few hours to myself Kylo,” At this rate arguing was futile as he always managed to get his way without even trying “I’m a grown women and can take care of myself so I suggest that you just shove it and leave me alone” 

He didn’t need to know that I was hurt by his actions, that him distancing himself from me actually bothered me more than it should have. We were nothing more outside of our jobs as warriors for the Supreme Leader as it was foolish of me to believe that this was anything more just professional. I needed to step back and reevaluate myself and my feelings as I would only get hurt by him. 

“I’m taking Vicrul with me as well as A’rth with me as I desire to be alone,” 

A beat of silence had passed between us, “That is indeed acceptable”

Picking up the small puppy off the bed, I didn’t bother to look at Kylo as I knew if I did I would let him inside my head. Then he’d know that I was hurt. He’d know.

“I’m glad you find it acceptable,” Snapping at him wasn’t my intention but he was so kriffing irritating and his attitude bothered me 

* * *

The white sand under my feet felt absolutely amazing as I held my shoes in one hand. A’rth was hopping around in the sand as she thought the waves were chasing her. Like a game of tag. 

“Are you alright?”

_ Vicrul. _

_ “ _ No, but it doesn’t really matter how I feel as my duty is to make sure that I complete this mission and get what is needed in order for me to be successful” 

It’s been a little over a year since I took Kylo’s hand, and yet my heart is still conflicted about being here. At first I had only complied to the First Order’s actions because I didn’t want to make things more difficult for me by arguing and fighting. I wasn’t stupid. Yet as time has gone by I find myself drawn to the darkness, drawn to the darkness that resides in Snoke, in the First Order, and in the Knights. **_In Kylo Ren._** I was drowning in the dark abyss of sentiment for Kylo, as I found it difficult to breathe when I was around him. Scared to stumble and disappoint him as I found myself doing everything in order to please him. What was this feeling? 

“Mistress,” Vicrul started as he stepped beside me, his hand brushing up against my own “you do understand that Master Ren is being patient with you right?”

“Patient? All he ever talks about is this mission to take the organization down” 

“You know this isn’t true, you can feel it in the force because we all do as well” 

Clenching my jaw, I ignored the blood rushing to my ears “I have no recollection of what you are speaking of” 

“Ignorance doesn’t look good on you Mistress,” he clicked his tongue “I suggest you talk more with him before making any rash decisions” 

What was he talking about? I knew exactly what I was doing as I have only one command to follow.  _ Obey _ Kylo. I found it getting much more difficult to do anything other than to obey him. He was my Master and I made that blood vow to follow him to my death. Why was I doing all this? The bond. Our bond. 

_ No. _

“I don’t plan on making rash decisions that could hurt the First Order in anyway,” 

“Not the Order but Master Ren” 

I paused as I kept my gaze steady on Earth who now was digging a hole in the sand. It was futile though as water just filled it. Making her become a watery mess. 

“Kylo has his own agenda to follow, I vowed to follow him to my grave and that is exactly what I plan on doing. It’s  _ Ren,  _ who needs to not make rash choices that can get him and I killed” 

“I find it difficult to believe that you really think he would send you to an early grave” 

“I don’t know Kylo, we are merely apprentices under Snoke’s guidance” I paused “you know that nothing could ever happen between us”

Attachment and sentiment weren’t allowed as it would only distract us from our true objective. Distract us from what truly mattered, which was destroying everything that stood in our way of absolute rule. 

“Both of us know that rule has already been broken” 

_ They heard us.  _

“It was a mistake” 

_ A mistake that made me wet just thinking about his fingers inside me or better yet his head buried in between my thighs as I yanked on that black hair of his.  _

“Is that really how you feel?”

“Yes,”  _ No  _ “does this even matter? You know that the Supreme Leader wouldn’t allow us to do anything other then win this war” 

“Just know that we wouldn’t say anything if you two were to break the rules further” he mumbled as he glanced at me and flashed me a smirk 

“Vicrul—”

“We serve Master Ren, not the Supreme Leader”  _ They only obey the Supreme Leader because Kylo commanded them to. They obey me because I will become Lady Ren once I finish training, because Kylo commanded them to protect me and act as my body guards.  _ “We should get back as Master Ren will be worried about your wellbeing” 

“A-alright” cleaning my throat I made my way towards A’rth as she was now covered in wet sand 

As soon as we walked inside the large suite, my eyes focused on the looming shadow that sat on the couch with a glass of whiskey in his hand. Handing the tired puppy to Vicrul, I whispered to him “Vicrul could you bathe A’rth?” 

Nodding he took the messy dog and left quickly as Kylo watched the small interaction. His mask on the coffee table in front of him as he finished off his glass and set it down. 

“How was the beach?”

“It was nice, I love the sand” 

“I don’t like sand. It's all coarse, and rough, and irritating. And it gets everywhere” Kylo commented rather dryly as he eyed me slowly before turning away 

Amused, I let out a soft laugh as I wasn’t surprised in the least that he felt that way about sand. Kylo doing anything remotely domestic was very amusing to say the least

“How was your meeting with Armitage?” 

“The  _ General  _ and I’s meeting was uneventful but he did ask me if you were enjoying the gift he had helped pick out”

Jealousy pricked my veins like cold air nipping at my face, he was in a mood today. 

“I am,” 

“Now if you excuse me I have a date at the opera house with Gin” I hadn’t forgotten she had invited me to speak more as I saw it as an opportunity to learn more about anything that regarded the organization that I was to take down. 

He turned his gaze to me “ _ Stay,”  _

“I have an assignment to complete, we’ll talk later” 

He blinked “I wasn’t asking” 

**_Prick._ **

“I have to get ready Kylo,”

“You are growing to become stronger then Snoke and I anticipated” he paused “the bond between us is making it easier for you to learn your way with the force” 

I took my seat silently on the couch opposite of him as I didn’t know where he was taking this conversation. 

“I see, is this bad?”

“No, it’s going better than expected as you will be finishing your training in a few months. Once you become Lady Ren, you will be going on missions on your own without me to be there and monitor you” 

“Does this mean that we will be separated?”

He nodded, “Yes as you will be going on more undercover missions regarding the War as you will be working closely with General Hux as I will be leaving to finish my training with the Supreme Leader. I’ll be leaving Vicrul, Ushar and Trudgen with you as the others will be with me on the Finalizer” 

“That’s understandable,” 

He nodded again “Good, because as soon as this mission is over, you will be leaving to Starkiller as I will be cleaning up any loose ends” 

We’ll be separated. This is good. No contact means no affection and sentiment. I can push whatever these nauseating feelings away and continue down this path without anymore complication. He’s becoming a distraction for me and that’s bad. I wish I could turn these feelings off and pretend like I wasn’t conflicted. Like I wasn’t struggling as I could feel the pull to the light side. It must be the good part of me, the part of me that came from my grandfather Obi-Wan Kenobi. What about my parents though? Who were they? Were they Jedi too? Or were they Siths? Or better yet had they become rare Grey Jedi? I had so many questions about them, about me. 

“Your mind is wandering,” he looked me over, “did something happen?”

Blinking out of my thoughts, I focused my gaze back on him and then realized he had asked me a question “I-ah no, nothing happened I was merely thinking about something trivial. Nothing to worry about, now if you excuse me I have to go get ready” Turning away from Kylo quickly I marched to my room and breathed a sigh of relief as soon as I closed the door

_ Grandfather, what am I supposed to do? Am I meant to go down this path? Or am I making a mistake?  _

* * *

“You look absolutely gorgeous!” Gin smiled as she immediately wrapped me in a hug before forcing me to sit in the seat beside her in the booth “Sky must be careful or somebody else might snag you up”

I wore a black off the shoulder tight fitting gown that flares out at my knees. It was pure silk and elegant as I wore a diamond jewelry set with my hair swept up into an intricate bun. 

“Thank you Gin, but I believe that you look more gorgeous than I do” I smiled as I set my clutch down in my lap, looking around I didn’t see her girlfriend, Lottie, anywhere to be found 

“You’re too kind! Have you ever seen an opera show before?” She beamed 

“I can’t say that I have,” I paused “Where’s Lottie, I thought she would be joining us?” At the mere mention of Lottie made her sad as she had a look of sadness wash over her. It disappeared quickly as it came as she began laughing once more. 

“She has other matters to attend to so it’ll be the two of us for the night, that’s alright with you yes?” A weak smile married her face 

“Of course, I just didn’t want to start the show without her is all” My answer seemed to make her feel a bit better as she nodded and then focused her attention back to the show “I’ve been coming to the opera for a couple of years now since I joined M’inoli and I find myself unable to part from it as it’s such a beautiful and rich place” A whimsical and aloofness took over as a dopey grin replaced the weak smile from before as she stared at the large orchestra below

“Indeed it is,” 

“I have a rather personal question for you though…” she paused slightly “why are you eager to join us? Don’t you want happiness? A quiet life?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I think you know exactly what I mean. Not everybody gets the choice to live out the quiet way and yet you have the opportunity to do that and you are seeking out something you don't understand. So tell me please why you are asking for something so dangerous?” Before I could even comprehend her question she had interrupted “The show’s about to start!” Clapping her hands together she let out an excited squeal as the lights dimmed until we sat in complete silence and darkness

Even though I was watching the opera, my mind wandered as I tried to wrap my head around what she had asked me. Why I had hesitated to answer her simple question. She had caught me off guard and that bothered me, not because I had let my guard down but because I had never thought of it that way before. I could have lived a quiet life, a life of love with my parents. I could have had a life of silence, from a caring husband and have two beautiful kids and just lived a quiet and peaceful life. Why had I done something so dangerous? I had traded my quiet and peaceful life for a life that gave me Did I make the right choice by making the deal with Commander Ren? 

That seemed to be the constant question I've been asking myself lately. Did I make the right choice by leaving my entire life behind? Would my biological parents be proud of the decisions I have made? Or they are watching with disappointment in their hearts? Is my grandfather watching me? Have I disgraced them. Should I follow his path? If only I could talk to him, or my parents…

Even as Gin and I parted ways for the night, and long after I had returned to the suite I couldn't get what she had said out of my head. I laid in bed thinking about that night. That night that I had foolishly offered myself up to the dangerous man in the galaxy. Maybe Ren was right about me, right about calling me a foolish little girl. I have no idea what I’m doing? What was I even doing here? Who am I to be fighting alongside the most dangerous people in the galaxy? 

I feel as though I have made a horrible mistake, a mistake that I don’t think I can take back. Should I run? Am I capable of pulling off such a feat? Where could I even run to? Going back home was out of the question as I would just put everybody in danger. My only two options would be to exile myself or join the Resistance...Would they even accept me? Could i go back to being an engineer who spent her days working, her nights training, and her weekends drinking her life away? This is wrong. 

No…

Is this wrong? To want more? More than a life of being a soldier? Am I being selfish? What did i really want out of life, what were my goals? 

**_Who am I?_ **


	26. You're my life, just as I'm yours

_ “Your posture is lacking” Huffing silently, I straighten my back as I gripped the hilt of my lightsaber tighter in my grasp. “Whatever is distracting you, stop it”  _

_ Clenching my jaw, I ignored the dull ache in my heart as I pushed away the sentiments of my loving parents, of my beautiful home. Instead I thought about my safe place, the place I went to to escape, even if it was just for a brief moment in time.  _

_ “If this is all you can do then you’re pathetic”  _

_ I could feel the twitching of my eye as I had been swallowing all of his insults for the past six hours of training. Six hours of verbal abuse of every little thing I did slightly wrong. He was getting on my last nerve as I bit my tongue to swallow the snippy remark I was dying to say to him, to put him in his place. I refuse to allow him to demean my skills, to allow him to believe that I was some mindless slave. He was a complete asshole.  _

_ “Then why don’t you give me a demonstration to what I’m doing wrong” My gaze wandered across the room before it stopped once I had met the darkness of where his eyes should have been in that ridiculous mask of his. For a few weeks since I’ve arrived on base. I haven’t ever seen the face that lied underneath the mask that struck ice cold fear in people’s hearts once it was in their view. As they knew that would be the last thing they would see before they died.  _

_ “Hm,” Striding towards me, it was as if time had slowed as his gloved hands reached up toward the sides of his mask before sliding to the back of the underneath of his helmet. There was a slight hissing noise as he pulled the mask over his head.  _

_ My breath caught in my throat as a wave of black curls fell around his neck and on top of his shoulders. When his face was uncovered, my eyes got wide. He was handsome. And young. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words died in my throat. His strong features and those sharp angles of his face sucked the air right out of me. His pale, ivory skin was decorated with dark, large freckles. His dark brown eyes held my soft gaze before he quickly looked away as he tightened his full lips into a line and cleared his throat. _

**_Oh, kriff. He’s gorgeous._ **

_ “Are you done gawking?”  _

**_Arrogant prick._ **

_ “Then let’s train,” Shrugging I slipped back into my position as he stood a mere three feet away from me _

* * *

“She is so adorable,” Gin proclaimed, opening my eyes I looked over at her where she was running around on the beach with A’rth chasing her on the sandy beach “When did you get her?” 

“I just got her two weeks ago, she was a gift actually from an old family friend after I arrived here on Canto Bight” I lied 

“I’m tempted to have one now” Chuckling I stood up from my crouch he’d position as I shook off all the sand off myself “I’ve never had a pet before, it’s hard when we’re  _ always _ moving around” A dark grim past over her features as she bitterly exclaimed that last part 

“To make a mark” 

“What?” Confused by my sudden outburst, she squinted her eyes at me as she tried to decipher what I was talking about

“Two weeks ago when we were at the opera you had asked me why I would trade a quiet and peaceful life for one so volition and dangerous” Gin’s eyes shone with remembrance “I have the ability that is rare and I would be wasting it if I had stayed home scared to use it. So I left home because I wanted to prove to myself that I’m capable of making a difference in this war between who’s right and who’s wrong. This war is taking lives that are unnecessary and I want to put a stop to it” 

She stared at me for several tense moments with a blank face as she soaked up my words. I felt relieved though, as I had spent the last two weeks trying to find the answer to her question. An answer that's acceptable and the truth, because I didn’t want to lie to Gin more than I already had to. These past two weeks spending time with her and occasionally Lottie makes me really feel like we could be good friends. And when the time comes I could convince her to join the Order so I wouldn’t have to kill her. 

“You’re more courageous than I am and I envy that,” she finally spoke up as she had A’rth in her arms and petting the quiet puppy “If I was in your spot I think I would have lived quite content not having to worry about a single thing except what my next meal was going to be” Gin let out a dry chuckle as she avoided eye contact with me 

“I don’t think that’s completely true as I think the guilt would have eaten you up inside, until you finally snapped thus making the decision to do something about it” 

Shaking her head she walked closer to me “I envy your skills to be compassionate and courageous. You’re selfless and I wish I could be more like you” 

“Sometimes being selfless means running from the battle even though you’re scared of what would happen” I whispered to her, stiffening she snapped her head towards me as her eyes were wide “I’d help you run away Gin, some people aren’t meant to fight but that doesn’t make you any less significant because everybody has their place in this galaxy. You just have to find yours.”

We stood a foot apart from each other in silence as we stared at one another for how long. She let her guard down, unintentional or not. Slipping inside of her mind, I bit the side of my cheek as I could feel her hesitation as her thoughts were jumbled up. But one thing was very clear to me as I ignored the small pain in my head. There was great hesitation in her regarding the organization she was a part of. I can use that. Interesting why? It wasn’t until after the sun had set that she had broken the silence with a nervous smile. 

“We should return to get ready as you’ll be sworn into the organization as an official member” 

“You’re right as it takes a while to get rid of all the sand we have accumulated on us and our things” She smiled brightly at my soft and teasing tone as we began collecting our things. Looping arms with one another, we began making our way to land. 

* * *

“You always know how to light up a room,” His whispered words barely brushed against my ear as he slipped his arm around my waist 

“Thank you Sky,” With a quick smile it had disappeared as he led me throughout the dancing couple and up a large grand staircase. 

Every step brought me closer to the goal of my mission, to complete the assignment that the Supreme Leader had given me. The mission Kylo had trained me for.  _ Kylo. _ Flashes of his beautiful face popped in my head before I could stop it.  _ I have a mission.  _

“Are you ready?” 

“Of course,” Clearing my throat, he gave the two men standing in front of the doors a subtle nod before he glanced behind us to the knights of ren 

“They can’t follow us in,” he mumbled 

“They go everywhere I go, they’re my guards” 

“If you want them to trust you then you have to trust them as well, it’s a give and take” He was right. Supreme Leader Snoke’s orders were for me to infiltrate their organization regardless of what I am to do. Which also meant my  _ own safety _ . 

My gaze switched from Sky’s to Vicrul, who already picked up on the whispered conversation merely nodded as he took several steps back with the other two following his command. Giving him a soft smile of appreciation, I turned back to Sky and with a deep breath let him lead me into something I knew could get me killed.

**_I was walking into the lion's den and this absolutely terrified me and yet a surge of excitement coursed in my veins and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not._ **

The meeting was formal. The atmosphere of the room was thick with tension, the sound of the doors closed behind me. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I hid my nervousness by masking it with a small smile. Sweeping my gaze over the small room where several other force users stood around dressed in silks fabrics with drinks in their hands. They were all clumped together in small groups, their penetrating gazes on us as they whispered amongst themselves. What caught my gaze was M’inoli, he sat in a golden encrusted chair on a platform that had a few steps leading up to it. His body language screamed arrogance as he leaned in the chair lazily.

“The guest of honor has finally arrived!” His deep booming voice filled the room forcing all the others attention to be directed at him “Tonight is a special night as we’ll be welcoming a new member in our ranks, Miss Lenora will be apart of The Allied” 

It took everything to not smile, to not give away how pleased I was at the fact I was finally accepted in. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, I still had to pass the initiation. 

“In order for you to become a full fledged member of this secret organization of ours you need to do something for us” 

“I’m ready for anything” 

“You will have a day to take out a small first order base that is located on the nearby planet of Montocrik,” he smiled as he readjusted in his seat “And I want you to bring me back any information regarding the First Order” 

_ Shit _

“Understood,” I nodded as I could feel Sky’s nervousness seep into my skin as his hand on my lower back tightened.  _ He was afraid.  _

“You’ll leave immediately, you will have a ship on the beach waiting for you where you will fly to the base and complete the assignment” 

“Understood sir,” he grinned, it wasn’t sinister but it wasn’t excitement either and that made me wonder just what was he planning “You can dismiss your guards back to your residence until you return” With that he waved his hand in a “shooing” motion which was my que to leave 

With a smile, I bowed my head and left the room as I knew that I wouldn’t have a chance to talk to the Supreme Leader or General Hux. I did have a chance to talk to Kylo though but it would have to wait until I was alone and I could get him to send a message to the Supreme Leader. I was going to look like a traitor and take the lives of the people I swore an oath to. 

“Mistress,” Vicrul spoke quietly as the doors closed behind me with a soft thud 

“Vicrul, I need you and the others to return to Kylo and wait until I return. I can’t explain right now as I’m on a time sensitive mission, but trust me on this”

The dim lighting of the large ballroom had given off the atmosphere of a sinister nature. His sharp features were more pronounced in the candlelight as he stared at me with hesitation and doubt. I knew he felt conflicted between his duty to listening to Kylo and I and his morals of leaving me defenseless. A few seconds ticked by before he finally nodded, he clenched his sharp jaw. His dark eyes narrowed on the doors that I just had stepped out of before turning to Trugden and Cardo with a mere nod. 

“Understood,” he stated quietly as both men had already descended the marble staircase, he moved to turn away to follow them before he stopped and turned back to me with a concern in his eyes “ I’m trusting you on this Mistress and if we sense you need help I won’t hesitate to come after you” His strong grip on my forearm brought me a sense of ease and comfort

“Thank you Vicrul, it means a lot to me” 

“Anything for you Mistress,” With those last words he let go of my arm and disappeared leaving me alone standing as I stared at the secret society dance and drink their woes away 

**_24 hours begins now_ **

* * *

Dressed in tight black pants, boots and a corset top I stepped out of the small room on the ship. It’s been only three hours since I left the planet Cantonica, when I boarded the ship there were clothes, food and a message waiting for me. After listening to the message, I had charted my course while I ate before changing out of the gown. 

Settling back into the pilot’s seat, I knew that it would take me another hour until I got there since the planet wasn’t too far from cantonica. I hadn’t yet made contact with Kylo yet as he’s been gone days at a time since that fight. That stupid little fight that lead to him telling me that we’ll be separated, we’ll be on opposite sides of the galaxy. I should feel happy and yet these last two weeks I’ve felt nothing but fear and loneliness as I always come back to an empty suite. I’ve missed coming back and seeing the usual frown that married his face. 

_ Now or Never _

Leaning back in my seat I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, forcing myself to focus on the force bond Kylo and I shared. To try to communicate with him through the bond that brought us close and yet separated us. I’ve never tried to use the force bond to see Kylo since we were always together. Taking another deep breath, I cleared my mind and focused on a mental picture of Kylo. I couldn't stop thinking about the intensity of his deep brown eyes, the seductive slope of his full plump lips, the dark freckles that dusted across his face like stars. They were beautiful. 

**_Kylo Ren was a beautiful creature._ **

“Where am I?” 

Wide eyed I jumped up from the pilot’s chair, twirling around my gaze immediately fixated on the man that I had on my mind for the past few minutes. I stared at his confused expression as I thought about tracing those freckles with my pointer finger. His gaze wandered over our surroundings as he slowly eyed the insides of the ship that I was in. Suspicion and slight fear filled his eyes before it was replaced with his stoic mask. 

“Kylo,” Crossing the distance between us, I reached my hand out but stopped midway and let my arm fall to my side as I realized that this wasn’t the time. We had other important matters to discuss. “You’re here”

“Indeed,” He eyed me slowly before he looked around at my surroundings with a confused but impressed gaze “Your powers are growing if you’re able to call out for me through the force, you’re becoming stronger”

This wasn’t the time for him to continue to praise me about my strengths, I needed to talk to him about my new assignment before it was too late and I was branded a traitor. “Thank you but I need to talk to you” 

He ignored my words as he walked around the small ship with furrowed eyebrows “Where are you? Why did you leave and send the knights back to me?” 

“I’m heading to the planet Montocrik, to our base that we have located there.” My fingers twitched “In order for me to become a full fledged member of the organization I have twenty four hours to take down the base and return with information regarding the First Order” My voice shook as I explained it to him as I felt like I was asking him permission to betray him. To betray the oath I had given him. 

“How long do you have left?”

“I have twenty one hours left,” He began pacing in the small space of the ship that looked tiny compared to his large and built stature 

“Why didn’t you return with the knights? To come talk to me so I could help you?” 

“I was ordered to send my guards back and to leave immediately, as for coming to talk to you? Why would I? You’ve been distant and avoiding me and I don’t wish to bother  _ Commander Kylo Ren _ ” With a snide tone I glared at him as I could feel the heat of my anger in my veins as I wanted to desperately let him know just how he made me feel but that had to wait. 

He clenched his jaw “ _ Mari, you know this isn’t how it works”  _ He was right “I can’t…we can’t…”

“We can't do what?! I don’t know what you want from me Kylo, you’re so fucking bipolar that I don’t know what you want me to be. You’re giving me whiplash telling me you care about me one minute and then ignoring me the next!” I didn’t realize I was yelling until I stopped when my throat felt scratchy and it came out a bit hoarse. I didn’t regret it though as I watched Kylo’s expression turn to one of pure anger 

“You wouldn’t understand Mari,” Was all he said, as if that would give me all the answers I needed and I would suddenly be understanding of his odd behavior and his treatment of me and my feelings 

“Bullshit  _ Ren, _ ” 

“I don’t make good decisions  _ Mari,  _ especially when it comes to you so don’t expect you to be the exception. You’re just the foolish little girl that I met a year ago and I was wrong to believe you could be anymore then that” He stated with venom with flames of rage dancing in his eyes

I felt my heart squeeze painfully as if he had rammed his hand through my chest and grabbed my heart with malice and squeezed it. I felt my vision blur as I swallowed the lump in my throat, biting my tongue I refused to allow myself to cry. His words danced in through my ears and repeated over and over again in my head like a soft melody.  _ A fucked up melody that is.  _

“ _ Commander _ Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, and Ex-Jedi…” A bitter laugh left my lips as I could feel my blood getting hot from anger “I’ve heard the stories of you from everyone, how much of a killer you are with no remorse or mercy for anyone. How you have no humanity and you really were a monster they claimed you to be. I feared that they were right about you becoming the monster that you pretend to be but alas...you’re just a child, hurt and angry, and taking it out on others” Pausing I could feel that every word I spoke was affecting him

He merely stared at me as I could feel his anger, my own rivaled his as I could feel our auras clashing with one another. 

“Watch it  _ Mari, _ ” Kylo’s eye twitched “I’m warning you to watch that spiteful tongue of yours” 

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?” Taunting him wasn’t the best idea, I knew that completely and yet that didn’t stop me from letting my mouth spout those words out 

His gloved hand reached out and latched onto my throat as he yanked me towards his body. Pulling me in close, he glared down at me as his hot breath blew right in my face. I should have felt scared, should have felt trapped and yet...I felt conflicted. Felt my heart beat rapidly in my chest as I tried to fight the urge to close the small distance. Flashes of the way he kissed me on the balcony appeared in my head. 

_ No. _

_ This was wrong.  _

_ Yet… _

_ I yearned for him to touch me again. _

_ To have him explore every inch of my body with his hands and that sinful tongue of his.  _

“Get your hands off me  _ Ren, _ ” Our chests were pressed up against each other as they rose up and down “I refuse to allow someone like the likes of you to touch me” 

“I warned you and you didn’t listen” He was eerily calm and that struck fear in my veins, not fear that he’d hurt me but fear that I was slowly falling for Kylo. 

In a swift moment, he forced me down on my knees roughly. Biting my tongue, I contained the pained groan that wanted to leave my lips. I had no choice but to obey, I was difiant yes, but stupid? No. Straightening my back I looked up at him with my head held up high as I was unwilling to submit to him. Nonetheless the sight of him from such an angle was nothing short of breathtaking. 

“Such a pretty little mouth like yours shouldn’t say such foul words,” He cooed with a sinister smile as he used his other hand to pull out his member. 

Silently, I examined his member. It was huge, as there was no doubt about that; in fact, it was scarily big, just as the rest of him. Yet his huge stature was also comforting to say the least. The texture was soft to touch, yet remained hard. A few veins were prominent as I found the urge to run my tongue over each one to see just how they would really feel. His head was coated with a few drops of precum. Kylo’s erect cock was intimidating, and yet I found myself licking my lips in morbid anticipation. 

“Do you want something  _ my pretty little thing _ ?” 

**_Arrogant asshole_ **

Poking my tongue out, I flicked my tongue over the head of his cock and lapped up the precum off the large tip, the all to familiar taste coating the inside of my mouth. His shallow breathing now matched my own and with a wicked smile I wrapped my lips around the tip and sucked on the tip gently. Taking in more of him into my mouth, I slowly began working my way down his length, trying my best to fit everything in without gagging. The feeling of his member growing bigger and larger inside my wet cavern made my pussy twitch as I began bobbing my head up and down. 

Looking up at Kylo through my lashes, I watched as he grasped my white blonde hair tightly within his fist, as he was controlling my movements and pace, while the other hand wrapped around my throat. Pushing me against the wall of the ship, he began thrusting erratically in my mouth. Moaning I dug my sharp nails into his thighs as I could feel him twitch, signaling he was going to cum. Drool was dripping down my chin, as I tried not to gag on his length, but he refused to let go of me as he continued yanking on my hair. He continued thrusting his cock deeper into the back of my throat. Kylo was mouth fucking me deeper with each snap of his hips, a dark glint in his eye shone as I could tell that he was enjoying watching me on my knees taking his sick form of punishment. 

Curses fell from his lips as hot spurts of his cum exploded into my mouth as he continued thrusting into my mouth. Tears were clouding my eyes as my chest began heaving, I didn’t realize that I had stopped breathing when he fucked my mouth so savagely. Kylo panted as he let go of my hair and my throat, pulling out of my mouth gave me a chance to swallow his load that he had oh so graciously given me. Tucking himself in his pants, he fixed his clothing with a satisfied smirk. 

“Continue with your mission just as instructed by the Supreme Leader, you’ll do whatever it takes to infiltrate them, understand?” Silently, I nodded as he crouched down to my level “You did such a good job taking your punishment, my pretty little thing,” cupping my face with his hands he used his thumbs to wipe my tears away. I hadn’t realized I had begun crying. 

“ _ Kylo… _ ” whimpering I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve 

“You make me feel,” Kylo’s voice came out quietly and a bit timid as it seemed like he was scared to be honest with me “You make me feel  _ things, _ things I’ve never felt before. Every time we touch, I feel the darkness growing in you as it grows in me.  _ I have the desire to devour you whole because I want you to myself.” _

“I-...” I didn’t know what else to say because never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect Kylo Ren to say such beautiful words to me, much less him admitting that he felt something for me. Felt something more than a professional bond for me, something that boarded the L word. Something that was forbidden and dangerous not only physically but mentally. It could leave the both of us in ruin, beyond repair and the thought alone terrified me. 

I remembered that day, the day I had arrived back on Starkiller was also the day I finally got to lay my eyes on Kylo Ren. I watched the glimmer of longing in those dark pools that I found myself enamored with. Was he admitting that he was falling for me just like I was falling for him? Or was this some kind of game to him? Was I just some plaything that was currently occupying his attention until he moved onto the next one? 

_ Wait… _

_ Why did I even care?  _

_ I don’t need Kylo Ren.  _

_ I am Marinette Blaine-Kenobi. I don’t need a lightsaber wielding psychopath to define my path in life. I come from a line of strong force wielders, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself perfectly fine.  _

“ _ I need you _ ” it was an audible whisper that brought my thoughts to a sharp halt

Searching his facial features for any tell that he was lying, I found nothing but raw honestly. Because at that moment, I saw nothing but dirty, dark but beautiful magic in his eyes. Those words I desired to tell him were on the tip of my tongue as I needed to desperately tell him how much he meant to me. How I was slowly beginning to love him. 

“ _You’re_ _my life, just as I’m yours”_

This was completely uncharacteristic from his usual presumptuous, cocky and proud behavior that he flaunted. However, he was showing his more vulnerable side that he kept under lock and key deep inside himself. His words were repeating over and over in my head as I could feel my heart beat erratically and my stomach flutter. 

**_It reminded me of that night, the night on my home planet…_ **

* * *

_ "You didn't tell him of our bond and my unavoidable death," Challenging Kylo wasn't my intention but it was his strong pride that provoked my own "Admit it Kylo, something has shifted in the force. You feel it just as strongly as I do!" Growling in frustration I felt tears blur my vision as the effects of everything were crashing down on me. I took everything in stride and buried it as I always had more piled onto me. _

_ Kylo clenched his jaw as he tightened his fists, uncertainty flashed in his eyes. The same thing I had seen when he battled against the praetorian guards all those months ago. And then it was gone, replaced by a soft vulnerable look that I had also seen before. Pulling me into his lap I straddled him as he merely held onto me, holding my face in both his hands, his eyes searched mine. Another cold breeze swept past us, a shiver went down my spine as my body brushed up against his, his eyes flicked to my lips before back to my eyes. _

_ "I'm still looking for ways to prevent your death" He whispered as both of his thumbs brushed against my cheek in an affectionate manner. With a gentle swipe of his thumbs he brushed the tears off my face, sniffing a sigh left my lips as I leaned into his touch "I trust you now I ask for you to place your trust in me" _

_ Placing both my hands on his firm, broad, muscled chest, my fingers dug into his black robes. I studied his black robes that lay under the palms of my hands as if it was really interesting. Kylo had always put his trust into me, and he had never given me a reason not to trust him. In fact he had saved my life that night when Ferial decided to bomb his own kingdom in order to escape. Meeting his gaze I smiled softly as I knew that I really didn't have to think of my answer. His eyes searched my face as if he was trying desperately to find something. _

_ "I'll always trust you" It was a barely audible admission as my words were carried off into the wind but he still heard those four precious words _

_ He moved one of his hands to the back of my head and pulled me against his chest. Kylo slipped his arms around my body as he cradled me in his lap, closing my eyes. I let the rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to a sleeplike state, his fingers stroking my hair as his body relaxed under my own. Our signatures wrapped around each other as we both poured our energy into one another. This beautiful moment of peace had both of us bearing our human weakness of a sense of belonging. A sense of finding one another in the darkness, a sense that was telling each other that we weren't alone. Because under the moon and the stars, we had found a common ground that we could both see eye to eye on. A bond that nobody could take away from us, a bond that we shared and by just reaching out we could find the other. We were in a galaxy of our own, where we just existed with one another in a comfortable silence. _

**_"No matter where you are, I'll always make my way back to you, I promise"_ **

_ His words echoed in the back of my head as his shadow teetered on the edge of my mind. Just enough to reassure me that he was always there, to tell me that I wasn't alone. True to his word, I wasn't alone because I had him and he had me.  _

* * *

“I feel this pull, it's like a gravitational pull towards you. It’s like the universe and all the galaxies are telling me that we’ve met before, in another time or maybe another place. The connection between us is unexplainable, and feels all too familiar and this terrifies me” It was my turn to confess my thoughts, my feelings that I’ve tried to deny. I obviously didn’t try hard enough. My heart is weak when it comes to Kylo Ren, when it comes to those feelings of admiration and loyalty that borders on affection and love.

“Don’t be terrified, I won’t let anything happen to you as you are mine to protect. That is my vow to you.” His vow to me? “I vow to you that no matter where you are, I’ll always make my way back to you...you’re mine and I will take care of you” Rubbing his nose against mine in an affectionate manner, he moved his face away to leave a soft but hard kiss on my lips. A kiss that left me wanting more of him. Even after he parted from me. Opening my eyes, I saw that he had already stood to leave as he backed away from me. 

“Kylo…” Reaching my hand out I yearned to grasp onto him and keep him there with me just a little bit longer 

“I will have General Hux send a file to that base that you can take back to M’inoli to prove your loyalty to the organization” He remarked in a cool tone that told me he had once again locked up the vulnerability that he had only shown me. I knew it wouldn’t last long because he was still a dangerous man that could kill me if he wanted and yet I wasn’t scared of that. What scared me the most is him hiding that small part of him that he didn’t show to anyone. Him locking that part of himself away forever. 

“Yes Master” He flinched 

“Be mindful of your surroundings little one,” Those were his last words before he disappeared leaving me alone in the cold small ship that led me to my next goal

**_Little One..Pretty little thing…_ **

**_You are mine…_ **

* * *


	27. Tick Tock

_“You fucking bitch” Ferial spat out as he was tied to the chair with difiance and disgust “You won’t get away with this!”_

_Leaning against the table, I watched as he squirmed in his restraints as he tried breaking free. His once ironed suit was crumpled, his slicked back hair now a complete mess. Watching his cool composure crack as he continued to spout foul words. The whispers in my head grew louder as they continued to coax me into killing the coward in front of me._

_“Did you really think I’d let you get away after what you did you filthy scum?”_

_He scoffed “So this is because I pretended to love you? Don’t take offense, I’m just not into pathetic little girls” he shrugged_

_Asshole._

_“You think that I brought you here because of your false declarations of love?” It was my turn to scoff now as I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to think I’d ever care about what he thought of me “You’re an arrogant bastard to think I would hunt you down for some petty reason. That day you ran away like a coward I made a vow to myself to find you, to make you pay for what you had done”_

_Holding the large dagger I had taken out of the display case, I swung it around with ease._

_“I have no idea what you’re raving on about you stupid bitch”_

_“Stupid? No.” I began to walk around him in a slow circle as I already knew where I was going to cut him first “Bitch? Maybe”_

_“What do you want from me? Money? Name your price and I’ll give it to you just let me go” Stopping in front of him, I straddled his lap as I felt him become slightly turned on by my actions_

_Leaning into him, I kissed his ear before whispering into his ear “Nothing you say will get you out of what I have planned for you, you killed one hundred and thirty eight people on that planet and for each life you took…” Using one hand I began to unbuckle his pants and took out his already hard cock_

_“Fuck…” he swore underneath his breath as he leaned his head back_

_“Do you like this?” I began to stroke him softly as I kept my eyes trained on his body language as it went from tense to relaxed in a few seconds “Tell me what you want…”_

_“Cut me out of these restraints and I can show you what it’s like to be with a real man,” his voice was low and gravelly_

_“Oh?”_

_“I bet I can fuck you better then Kylo,” I slowed down as my fingers tightened around the hilt of the dagger in my other hand “that child probably can’t even last long considering his temperament” he barked out a laugh as he insulted my Master_

_“You really think so?” I cooed_

_“I know so”_

_Taking my hand off his cock, I waited for him to look at me with a confused expression before I slammed the dagger into his hand. He howled in pain as curses spewed from his lips, he began to buckle against the makeshift handcuffs._

_“I’m sorry, did that hurt?”_

_“You’re just as psychotic as that bastard” Ferial spat in my face as he glared at me “You’re no hero! You’re a monster!”_

_“You’re not wrong,” I yanked the knife from his hand and brought it to my lips “Sometimes you just need a monster to save the galaxy rather then a hero” Licking the blood off the cold steel blade, a horrified expression crossed his features as he stilled under me_

_“I-....”_

_“Scream louder please?”_

_“You’re c-crazy!” He sputtered as he stared at his hand that was pouring out blood_

_Shrugging I stabbed him in the other hand, throwing his head back he claimed about as howls of pain fell from his lips “Tell me something I don’t know already,”_

* * *

My head is a mess.

Kylo’s words of affection had distracted me as I had raided the base and killed each member of the First Order. The looks of betrayal in their eyes before I cut them down had made my heart clench in misery. I didn’t want to harm the people I had sworn to protect when I officially joined under Supreme Snoke’s rule. 

**_Regardless._ **

**_I was ordered to do whatever it took to climb the ranks. Even if it meant betraying those who believed in me, which was worse than death._ **

I had gotten the information I needed from the base that General Hux has wired to the base several hours prior. The information was about some weapon deals with old associates from months ago. Enough to prove that I was compliant but nothing that could implicate me. It took me only a mere five hours to raid the base and to kill every officer, lieutenant, corporal and pilot. It was my desire to see Kylo again that I had made quick work of killing everyone in my way. To go back to my suite. To go back to Kylo. 

“Name?” Stopping at the large mahogany doors I watched as both guards stared at me with a vacant expression 

“You know exactly who I am, now I ask you nicely that you don’t keep me from finishing my task that I was given by M’inoli” My tone was laced with venom as I merely placed my hand on my lightsaber, straightening their backs they quickly opened the doors for me as they mumbled out apologies 

My heels clicked against the squeaky clean floor as I walked into the large office where M’inoli stood with his back to me as he stood in front of large windows. A glass of alcohol in his hand. 

“Impressive,” he started with a cool tone “you finished in under twelve hours” 

“Wasn’t too difficult as it was a small base,” Stopping at his desk that separated us, I trained my gaze on him as I wondered what my next task would be 

“I’ll be honest with you,” Turning away from the window he faced me with an expressionless gaze “I didn’t think you could do it, much less have the capability to take lives” 

“Never underestimate me,” Digging the small chip out of my cleavage of my tight black bodysuit I threw it onto his desk “I completed your given task” 

Placing the small glass on his desk he picked up the chip with his thumb and pointer finger, he examined it slowly “That you have, I’ll do best to not question your skills again _Miss Lenora_ ” 

Chills went up my spine at the way he said my fake name, I refrained from showing my discomfort. Instead I smiled as I nodded silently. 

“You’ve done exceptionally well these past few weeks, everyone is impressed with how resourceful you’ve become. Especially Sky, I take it that you know of his affections for you correct?” He asked with a smirk as he placed the chip in the pocket of his dress pants 

Swallowing, I nodded “I have taken notice of his obvious affections for me as I’ve grown a liking for the man” 

It was true.

Over these past few weeks I had come to find the young man to be exceptionally agreeable. He was intelligent, strong and charismatic not to mention very well loyal to a fault. Skyjul was a man I could find myself in love with, a man that I could marry and have a family with. He had been nothing but kind and understanding of me, not to mention very attentive to my needs. Always been gentle and loving with me since we had met that night in the casino. 

“Interesting,” he mumbled “Might I be the first to congratulate you, you’ve passed your initiation. In three days time, we will be holding a ball in honor of your new status, Miss Lenora. Rest up until then because after that we will be leaving Cantacona.” 

**_Leaving Canto Bight?_ **

“Might I ask where our next heading will be?” Chuckling he shook his head 

“That’s a secret,” he smirked as he stared at me with slight malice in his eyes

* * *

“Hello?”

I was met with silence as I stepped into the large suite, closing the door behind me I eyed it warily. Nothing looked out of place from where I stood, but then where were the knights? Or Kylo? Did General Hux call him away again? Did anybody take care of A’rth? I heard a small bark come from my suite.

_Speak of the little devil._

Shrugging off the absence of the seven men I had grown accustomed to living with these past few weeks, I walked into my room where A’rth was hopping around on my bed with her tail wagging aggressively. Immediately, I made my way to my large bed and flopped down on to it as A’rth immediately began to lick my face. 

“I missed you too girl,” I mumbled as I brought my hand over her head and began to pet her “did Vicrul take care of you while I was gone?” 

She let out a bark.

“Let me get some sleep and then I can play with you alright?” The ball of fluff just responded by jumping up on her hind legs. Reluctantly, I stood up from my bed and stripped out of everything and climbed underneath the covers. Moving closer to me, she twirled around in circles until she finally curled up next to me. “Good girl,” Placing a kiss on her head, I settled back into the covers and closed my eyes as I thought about Kylo’s words 

**_The vow he made to me._ **

* * *

_“Why haven’t you gone to the temple you stupid girl?! I told you to go there!” She shrieked as she banged on the mirror with a furious rage in her eyes_

_“What is so important about the temple?! About this stupid prophecy that you keep hinting at?! Why can’t you tell me? What’s the big secret?” She grew quiet and solemn as that furious rage had morphed into one of cold defiance_

_“Go to the temple, find the prophecy…”_

_Placing both my hands in the glass, I brought my face up close to the cold glass. Just like water it had rippled under my hands, her eyes flickered to the source of the ripples. She smiled._

_Why was she smiling?_

_“At this rate, I’ll be able to take over until I’ve consumed you with darkness”_

_“That won’t happen” my voice wavered_

_Her smile turned into a smirk “Oh? So you don’t hear those little whispers? The ones that are telling you to give in and to kill? You don’t feel any excitement from killing? Excitement as you hold people’s lives in your hands or the adrenaline rush from taking their life? I find that hard to believe”_

_“I’ve killed people who have done bad things, I’m not a murderer”_

_“Who are you to judge? You’re a sinner like everyone else, don’t act all high and mighty” She let out a laugh that sounded like nails on a chalkboard as I winced from the shrill sound_

_“Face it Marinette, you may be a Jedi by blood but you chose to be on the dark side and just like last jedi you’ll succumb to the dark side and take up the oath”_

**_Wait…_ **

**_Past Jedi?_ **

**_Is she referencing Darth Vader’s fall from the light side?_ **

**_“I will not take up the oath,”_ **

**_I’m not evil. I’m not a villain._ **

**_I’m not good. I’m not a hero._ **

_“You will, it’s been foretold you foolish girl…” she laughed again but this time she had blood covering her sharp teeth “but you wouldn’t know that because you refuse to go to the temple. You’re afraid of what you’ll find, afraid of finding out your history. Stop being a coward and face it”_

_“Just because it’s been foretold means nothing to me, I’ll just rewrite the prophecy then” Hard conviction was behind my words as I straightened my back and held my head up high. I was feigning confidence but I had to believe my words, because if I didn’t...then she was right that I was just foolish._

_“It won’t be so easy, it’s in your blood. You’ll turn and be left alone, because you’re just a little girl who is refusing to see the truth behind my words.”_

_Staggering back from the mirror, her words echoed in my head as it made me remember what Kylo had told me as well. His insults and jabs whispering loudly in my ears, covering my ears I tried to keep them out. Alas they only got louder as each insult brought more tears to well up in my eyes._

_“Stop it...please just stop…”_

_“Foolish stupid little girl, you’ll never be strong enough to be with somebody like Kylo. You’re too weak to be with him, but...General Hux is more your speed. Just as ruthless but a bit more slower as he’s nothing compared to Ren”_

_“Stop it!”_

_“This will never stop,”_

_“Stop it!”_

_Closing my eyes I willed myself to wake up as I could feel ice cold doubt rush through my veins. My heart began clenching as I tried blocking out the whispers of my incompetence, of my weakness._

_“Pathetic!” She cackled_

_“Shut up!”_

Eyes jolting open, I sat up in bed in a cold sweat. My sheets and blankets were kicked off and tangled around my legs. My chest was heaving as I could still hear the whispers. They were all talking at once but I didn’t need to listen to know what they were saying. As I already knew what they were mumbling about. 

“Mistress!” Vicrul’s booming voice snapped me out of my stupor as he was quick to run into my room with his weapon ready to strike down whoever was the source of my distress 

“Vicrul…” I hadn’t realized I was crying until my vision began blurring

“Mistress, what’s the matter?” After he had scanned the room for any signs of danger, kneeling down next to me he looked very concerned “What has you distressed?” 

“Vicrul...please get me a ship immediately. There is something I must do, please keep this between you and I” He looked hesitant to fulfill my request as hesitation set in, I knew that Vicrul was debating whether to tell Kylo or not. Because he was his Master, but I also had control over them. “I know I'm asking a lot but please I have to go and find something and see for myself.” 

“What about Master Ren?” 

“I-I’m not sure Vicrul, I just have to find something and I have to do it before it’s too late..please I’m begging you to get me what I need” 

“I trust you,” he finally spoke as he bowed his head in submission 

A sigh of relief left my lips as I took a deep but shaky breath. My thoughts were scrambled as I pushed myself to sit on the edge of my bed, I needed to do something. 

“How long have I been asleep for?” 

“About eight hours” standing he moved away from me to give me some space “we had came back to find you sleeping so we’ve been watching over you as you slept per Ren’s instructions” 

“Where is he?” 

“He said he needed to take care of some things and should be returning soon,” 

“I need a bath,” My skin was sticky with sweat and my face with tears

“I’ll let the other knights know that you are to not to be disturbed, I’ll also take care of the _thing_ ” Vicrul nodded his head towards A’rth who sat on my bed staring up at him with her tail swishing behind her relentlessly 

“That _thing_ has a name Vicrul, plus she really likes you and you refuse to accept that you like her as well” Pushing myself off the bed I forced myself to walk to my bathroom on shaky legs.

Silently, I closed the door and began to fill the tub with hot water as I wanted to desperately get rid of the hellish nightmare. If I could even call it that, as it seemed to be more of a subconscious thing...she was right that I did need to find out about this prophecy that she won’t shut her mouth about. 

Gripping the bright white marble countertop, I stared at myself in the mirror. What I saw made my blood run cold as I felt my body suddenly freeze up in anxious fear. 

**_Her._ **

She stared back at me with an amused smirk, blood dripping off her hands. Her dark eyes were vacant but you could see the desperation in her eyes that she wanted out. She wanted control of my body. I didn’t know what she wanted nor did I care as I refused to pay her any mind. 

“Tick Tock,” she mouthed 

Staring at me once more with defiance and cold intentions, she turned from the mirror and walked away. Blood trailing behind her. 

**_Tick Tock_ **

* * *

The sun was setting on the beach as the sky was filled with beautiful pinks, oranges and reds. It made the ocean water glisten as if it were a sea of jewels. If I had a different life, I would make sure to watch the sun set before falling asleep under the stars every night.

_I don’t have a different life though._

Taking a deep breath, I pushed those devious thoughts aside. Sharply turning on my heel, I walked away from the gorgeous view and boarded the small ship that Vicrul prepared for me while I was cleaning up after my hellish **_reality_ **. My boots made soft thumps as I tossed my small bag into the passenger seat. Shedding my disguise, I stuffed it into the bag as I dressed quickly and quietly. 

It felt good to be back in my chosen uniform rather then restricting ball gowns that were made to stop women from breathing. The familiar feeling of my tight clothing gave me the rush of adrenaline as it reminded me of being on the front lines with Kylo. I missed the feeling of my lightsaber in hand, missed the rush of ecstasy I received when I struck down an enemy.

That was the _past_.

Another reason I didn’t want to risk any of the members of the organization to see me leaving Canto Bight and then rat me out to M’inoli or worse them finding out I was a secret agent of sorts. I didn't even want to begin to think about what would happen to me if they were to find out my secrets. 

“You were planning on leaving without telling me” 

Startled, I yelped slightly as my hand immediately went to my lightsaber that rested on my hip. My gaze met Kylo’s as he wore that imposing mask of his, relaxing slightly I dropped my hand to my side.

“Vicrul told you, didn’t he?” 

“Didn't have to, when you disappeared and he wasn’t with you I put two and two together.” The ship’s ramp closed behind him as he shed his mask and let it fall to the ground with a large _‘thump’_

“There is no way you could have connected that so quickly,” baffled, I didn’t know how he could have found out about my intentions so easily. 

“You forget about our bond don’t you?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer as he continued “I felt your fear and doubt, it reminded me of the night we spent under the tree, your special place” _He remembered…_ “This has to do with the prophecy that you told me about correct?” 

“Yes,” 

He didn’t say anything as he stared blankly at me for what felt like minutes but in reality was mere seconds as he strode past me, taking the pilot’s seat and began messing with the controls. A second later ticked by and the ship started to hum to life. 

“If you really think I’m going to allow you to go to a fallen Jedi temple alone, then you are rather _foolish_ ” the emphasis on the words foolish made my lips twitch upwards as he eyed me 

Warmth swelled in my chest as a more soft expression replaced the cold exterior. It disappeared quickly as he turned back to the controls, Kylo was understanding not to mention was trying to accommodate my needs. My need to know. He was acting like he saw me more than just an apprentice, like he actually _lov-_

_No._

I refused to allow my brain to go down that path, it would only leave me with questions and analyzing every single thing he did or said. But that didn’t stop my heart from yearning for the masked killer in black that gave my heart whiplash. Swallowing the heavy weight of my conflicted feelings, I decided that this wasn’t the time to dwell on the many mysteries that was **_Kylo Ren_ **. 

Taking my seat in the passenger, I began to help Kylo turn the controls on. We worked together in comfortable silence as we knew that going on this secret mission was not only dangerous but it could also tie to the premonition of my death.

Even after we had taken off, leaving the city of pleasure behind we sat in silence as Kylo piloted us to a place where we were connected. A place our grandfathers had been connected, the place where they had been together before the Empire rose. This _prophecy_ was important and I’d be damned if I let anybody take that from me. It was my desire to know my history, to know everything I could about my parents and what happened to them. The more important questions to me though had to do with my grandfather. 

**_Ex-Jedi Master Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi_ **

The journal my parents left with me didn’t contain much information about them or my any other family. Just their names, Braxton and Loreli Kenobi which was on the last page on the right side of the corner in black ink. The pages only contained the force, Jedi teachings, training, and how to reach out with the force. Especially how to mask my force signature. Which is what helped kept me hidden away from the Jedi’s and Sith’s and especially this _war_. 

It also explained my earlier suspicions regarding Snoke and the way he treated me as some prized possession that he kept in a glass case. My blood lineage is the reason why I was kept hidden, why Snoke was eager to have me join him. Why he was so accepting of me joining the First Order, why I was granted so many privileges.

**_The pieces were slowly beginning to fall into place of where I came from…_ **

**_Is there a possible way for Snoke to know about my parents? To know about their fates?_ **

_No_ . I refuse to let him know just exactly what I’m up to until I find out everything for myself. I didn’t trust Snoke, I was loyal to him only because of Kylo Ren and I suspect that he knows that is the only reason I follow him. _Kylo knows that I only follow him, I was honest about my loyalty. He understands because I had made the vow to him in front of everyone._

**_"I vow my mind, body and soul to Kylo Ren, I vow as your apprentice to use my abilities as a force user to follow you into every battle and to stay by your side until I draw my last breath. I will follow you everywhere in this galaxy or the next, I won't ever abandon you. I will follow you down whatever path you choose”_ **

That was the blood oath that I had spoken directly to him. I now understand why Vicrul had said those words to me on the beach. He was telling me that they didn’t follow Snoke either as they didn’t care about being in this war as they had sworn their oath to Master Knights of Ren. Whoever held that title is who they followed and nothing changed that. It was their instinct to follow the strongest among them, it was respect and loyalty that flowed through their veins. 

“Your mind is wandering again,” blinking I gazed at him through the corner of my eye as he kept his eyes on the control panel “I can feel it,” 

My mouth suddenly felt dry as I was startled by his deep baritone voice, I shouldn’t have been surprised though as he was always good at reading my emotions. I blamed it on our bond. 

“I’m frightened Kylo...frightened by what I’ll find at this old Jedi temple. It terrifies me that I’ll find something out that I won’t like...about my family.” 

“Family is a very finicky thing,” gripping the handles he kept his gaze forward as his jaw became clenched “just because you’re corn into a family doesn’t mean that you have to follow in their footsteps”

Was he taking about me or… _himself?_

“Growing up in a family full of expectations and legacies isn’t easy when you’re constantly being scrutinized for every little thing you do. Having to keep your emotions in check so you won’t fall to the dark side, constantly having to learn about the good and bad of the galaxy.” 

_Kylo…_

Our parents were Jedi not to mention our grandfathers were as well. That was before Anakin fell in love and fell into the dark side leaving everything he knew behind. _Is Kylo going to begin following his grandfathers footsteps?_ When I was with the resistance, his dark thoughts had invaded into my mind and had me freeze up in fear. Not of him. But in fear that history would repeat itself. I had felt touches of terror, insecurity and uncertainty which is very unlike Kylo. 

**_'Grandfather, what would you have done...? Did you go through this when you destroyed yourself and became a great Sith? To save her?... I will finish what you started...I will do what needs to be done, even if it means taking up the oath'_ **

_The oath._

_The oath of the Sith._

“Your grandfather was a strong force wielder,” his back straightened immediately “do you admire how he turned into a powerful Sith?” 

“Yes” it was a clipped response 

“Do you think that you would follow his path and become a Sith as well?” Turning on auto pilot, he let go of the handles quickly and turned his entire body towards me. 

“Depends” 

“Depends on what?” 

Strong loyalty, passion and gentleness swam in those dark pools he calls eyes as his lips twitched into a slight smirk. 

“I’d do anything if it meant that I could finish what my grandfather couldn’t,” 

What did his grandfather fail to do? What was he talking about? I didn’t know much about his family as I knew what everybody else knew that was passed through the last half century since the fall of Anakin and the rise of Darth Vader. 

“Kyl-“ 

“I’ll protect what’s mine,” he started “you won’t die as your life belongs to me and nobody else not even fate owns it” Reaching his hand out towards me, he stopped midway as he clenched his fist instead and dropped it back into his lap “We’ll be arriving shortly,” clearing his throat, his voice went back to a more monotone one leaving me alone in the cold 

**_I’d do anything if it meant that I could finish what my grandfather couldn’t…and I’ll follow you to the ends of the galaxy if it meant that I could hold your hand._ **

* * *


End file.
